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Auntie Slag
2003-11-21, 09:39 PM
The stadium bristles with good cheer. Fans the length and breadth of the planet chug their beers and scoff their cheetos. Whether watching on TV or amongst the paying crowd, not a single slack jawed yokel is hastening for the remote or to bother buttoning his fly, the AWF is slack.

Until this evening.

There is a tremor. Some fans attempt to explain it as a mild discomfort brought on by the recent purchase of stiff white undergarments.

It is no such thing.

Another tremor. A rube’s beer visually illustrates the rumble. Others begin to take notice. With each tremor his beer shakes, producing ever decreasing circles. Some worried chatter now, the hicks in aisle’s B and C begin adjusting themselves. Could it be the aliens?

It isn’t the aliens.

Another tremor. This time it shakes the very foundations of the stadium. The lights flicker as the electricity supply is interrupted. Women begin to squeal girlishly.

A huge tremor this time. The entire arena shrieks and sparks fly everywhere. Suddenly the speakertrons explode into life, broadcasting deafening metal guitars to a stunned mulleted populace.

JHA: “WTF”?

You need training,
Gonna bring you to heel.
I’m gonna break you with my will of steel.

Its time to give the whip a crack,
I’m gonna have to send you back to -

An impossibly large, muscle bound hero leaps through the entranceway wearing pumps, a lavender business skirt and suit (complete with oversized 80’s shoulder pads) topped off with a thoroughly unconvincing, but very pretty blonde wig. In his left hand he spins a microphone like a six-shooter, brings it to his lips and screams with the music!

BITCH SCHOOL!!!!

The universe explodes, pyro’s flare, rockets ignite, doomed Autobot runs for energon cubes take off, multiple orgasms aplenty!

The hicks rock out, and the gigantic man in the aisle shakes his head like he’s just been fired from Heart. Again he roars:

BITCH SCHOOL!!!!

Mass hysteria ensues as he strides toward the ring. Hooting, hollering, cheering.

JFA: “That’s the largest, most intimidating transvestite I’ve ever seen”.
JHA: “Don’t forget your wife J”.

I’m gonna chain you,
make you sleep out of doors.
You’re so fetching when you’re down on all fours...

He climbs in, and takes center stage as the music quietens. The hollering continues until he raises a large, meaty hand to the sky for silence.

Large newcomer: “People of Earth, I come to rip you to pieces”.

Cheering.

Large newcomer: “Today marks a quantum phase shift in the history of the AWF. I have been assessing this place, watching in the wings, making notes. I have charted the length and breadth of this establishment and have seen it fall upon hard times, AND DO YOU KNOW WHY”?

Crowd: “WHY”?

Large newcomer: “Because this place lacks a certain j’est n’est ce qui. I come to you semi-literate people today with a declaration. That declaration is ME. I will bring this place to its knees. I shall cast my deep analysis upon each and every AWF star in this business today, and I will break them all when they realise the futility of further struggle in this SQUARED CIRCLE WITH ME”!!! And do you want to know what the difference between me and everyone else is”?

JHA: “Isn’t that obvious”?

Large newcomer: “I will break every man here, and then send him an exorbitant bill for my time, PLUS TRAVELING EXPENSES”!

Mass cheering and hooting.

Large newcomer: “Prepare to have your brains erased with mind rubbers ladies and germs, I am here. I am AUNTIE SLAG”!!!!

The stadium is pounding with thousands upon thousands of stamping feet.

Auntie Slag: “When I give the signal, unleash hell”.

Auntie signals. There is an almighty thunderclash and the music erupts. A.S. takes hold of the mike once more:

Auntie: “Its time to give the whip a crack, I’m gonna have to send you back to-

The entire planet in unison: “BITCH SCHOOOOOOL”!!!

Auntie leaves to an immense ovation. The earth and all its parallel dimensions are rocked to their very core. Life will never be the same again.

Cyberstrike nTo
2003-11-21, 10:18 PM
IC: The Archivetron flashes nTo followed by Adema's "Immortal" and Cyberstrke walks on to stage and with
a mic.

Cs: "Auntie Slag?! Auntie Slag?! This is what the once pround AWF
is reduced to hiring a freaks now? I've wrestled everywhere and I
have seen some freaks in my time Gay Guy Lombai, Witney Sears,
Lazz, and Goldust but you take the prize as the king/queen of the
freaks. Listen up freako I don't give a damn about what the hell
your personal problems are but understand this don't get in my way or I'll break you down just like every other asswipe that's cross my path."

The crowd: "WHY?!"

Cs: "I'm the best in this business past, present, and future"

The Crowd: "WHY?!"

Cs: "Because I don't lose, I CONQUER! That's why!"

Cyberstrike walks to the back.


OOC: Glad you decied to join the AWF!

Viewfind
2003-11-22, 07:32 PM
Originally posted by Cyberstrike nTo




OOC: Glad you decied to join the AWF!


HAHA!!!

Maybe i'm just high but dat was HELLA funny, oh wait you trying to be fo real? pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff.

You better remember who you be son.

Auntie Slag
2003-11-23, 10:17 PM
Originally posted by Cyberstrike nTo
Assorted pointless waffle...

Hmmm, Cyberstrike.

*flicks through AWF magazine to the 'No chance in hell' section*

Ah yes here we are. No wonder I missed you, you're right at the back below the advert for the toilet repair man. Apparently you are the rough equivalent of a Scooby Doo villain, only minus the brains. You have been consistently beaten, abused, rough-housed, cajoled, insulted, and made to look like a pansy ass mother f***** (what it says here).

And yet you still hold yourself out as the greatest wrestler in the history of everything. You are a closet case my friend. Insanity gone mad.

I would give you the time of day for a very thorough analysis, but I'm afraid there just isn't anything there to analyse.

Oh, and there's an incredibly horrible skidmark on the back of your pants. I'm sure that isn't helping either.

Thank you, come again.:)

Auntie Slag
2004-11-25, 02:21 PM
I thought it pertinent to inform Cyberstrike that, though he stands on the cusp of signing to the AWF for a second internment... the skidmark remains.

Shakira's Laundy Service travels with the usual AWF ligger entourage, and as a welcome back I offer you a big tub of vanish stain remover.

*An underling offers up the stain remover*

And in a further gesture of good faith, here is an 'I found the treasure of Monkey Island and all I got was this stupid T-shirt', T-shirt.

Notice the distinct lack of stainage.

Now you are all set. Therefore it only leaves me to say god bless you Cyberstrike, and all who sail in you.

Cyberstrike nTo
2004-11-25, 02:28 PM
I might've been at one time insulted but since Cyberstrike is dead
and buried why should I care?

Auntie Slag
2004-11-25, 02:34 PM
Well then who are you and why have you taken to wearing his skiddy undergarments with such rapacious affinity?

You look like him, you smell like him and that carboard cutout of him that you're standing next to and striking the same pose as, has as many dimensions!

The plot thickens, when left to stand in the fridge for up to 15 minutes...

Cyberstrike nTo
2004-11-25, 03:26 PM
Originally posted by Auntie Slag
Well then who are you and why have you taken to wearing his skiddy undergarments with such rapacious affinity?

You look like him, you smell like him and that carboard cutout of him that you're standing next to and striking the same pose as, has as many dimensions!

The plot thickens, when left to stand in the fridge for up to 15 minutes...


IC: I burned all of Cyberstrike's old underwear and wrestling outfits! My stuff cost more money than you and Cyberstrike could every hope to make in 10 years.




OOC: Trust me if the promo I sent to the staff is accepted all your
questions will be answered. :smokin:





Well sort of :p

Auntie Slag
2004-11-25, 03:41 PM
Considering Cyberstrike owned and ran his own Wrestling federation and I run the shifty private ads section of the nether pages of the AWF mag, that must be some sum.

Well then, you can buy me the extended edition Return of the King box set this Christmas.:smokin:

Anyone else want to put in a claim? This guys' gonna be minted, apparently. Oh, and set me up a tab and Big Z and Wolfangs monkey bar if that's still open. And I want the 2005 AWF bedspread as well.

Cyberstrike nTo
2004-11-25, 04:37 PM
Originally posted by Auntie Slag
Considering Cyberstrike owned and ran his own Wrestling federation and I run the shifty private ads section of the nether pages of the AWF mag, that must be some sum.

OOC: Ok, technical Cyberstrike is still alive and well and still does run his own wrestling federation but Cyberstrike is dead as doornail in the AWF Universe.

Shockmeister
2004-11-25, 05:17 PM
Originally posted by Cyberstrike nTo
OOC: Ok, technical Cyberstrike is still alive and well and still does run his own wrestling federation but Cyberstrike is dead as doornail in the AWF Universe.
"Crap, we havve diffferent univverssess now? Hey, who iss thhat?"

Stranger: "Greetingss."

JD: "Greetingss...and may I ssay, thhat iss a charming perffume you're not wearing thhiss evvening."

Stranger: "Thhankss."

JD: "Ssso, who are you?"

Stranger: "Judge Deathh."

JD: "?"

JD2: "No, not you. Thhe othher one."

JD: "Again...?"

JD2: "You know...ffrom thhe Xxx-WCW univversse."

JD: "Oh...thhat'ss nicce."

JD2: "Not really. It borderss on copyright inffringment."

JD: "Well, givven thhat you are, in esssencce, a clone, you are mosst likely exxempt ffrom ssuch conccernss."

JD2: "Perhapss...but let uss not continue thhiss train off thhought. I know ffull well how you ffeel about lawyerss, and thhat goess ffor me, too."

JD: "Indeed. Well, ta-ra ffor now!"

JD2: "Sssayonara."

>Exeunt.<

Xille
2004-11-25, 07:17 PM
*blink*

Cyberstrike nTo
2004-11-25, 10:16 PM
Originally posted by Shockmeister
"Crap, we havve diffferent univverssess now? Hey, who iss thhat?"

Stranger: "Greetingss."

JD: "Greetingss...and may I ssay, thhat iss a charming perffume you're not wearing thhiss evvening."

Stranger: "Thhankss."

JD: "Ssso, who are you?"

Stranger: "Judge Deathh."

JD: "?"

JD2: "No, not you. Thhe othher one."

JD: "Again...?"

JD2: "You know...ffrom thhe Xxx-WCW univversse."

JD: "Oh...thhat'ss nicce."

JD2: "Not really. It borderss on copyright inffringment."

JD: "Well, givven thhat you are, in esssencce, a clone, you are mosst likely exxempt ffrom ssuch conccernss."

JD2: "Perhapss...but let uss not continue thhiss train off thhought. I know ffull well how you ffeel about lawyerss, and thhat goess ffor me, too."

JD: "Indeed. Well, ta-ra ffor now!"

JD2: "Sssayonara."

>Exeunt.<

OOC: Let see if I can explain this concept better if for example:

My character's last match in the AWF was the 9 man TLC match at
Archivemania 3 in which he was thrown off the stage in which he was injured in the AWF.

In my fed he contiued on like that never happened.

I chose to ingore the AWF injury so that angles and storylines in my fed would not be disrupted by my character being injured here
in the AWF.

It works both ways Vin Ghostal got a sheet of glass busted over
his head in my fed. He didn't acknowledge that injury here for the same reason.

If we acknowledged all the injuries that our characters took in both feds about half of the AWF and the X-WCW rosters would be on the shelf with injuries from both feds.

It's just easier if you accept that injuries (like those examples I pointed out) in one fed rarely if ever affects the other.

As too Cyberstrike being "dead" I hope it be will explained on Warzone. If it isn't I'll post the promo that I wrote myself.

Shockmeister
2004-11-25, 10:46 PM
OOC: I understood fine, I just felt like taking the p*ss for no good reason. And it certainly amused me.

Ignavus
2004-11-25, 10:46 PM
Ignavus has found himself in a simmilar position as JD; for as he aimlessly wandered for a good nap-able futon, he stumbled across the X-WCW version of himself.

Wordlessly, the pair began to make out with each other. With Tounges.






Needless to say, I think I am one sexy stud.

Galvatron91
2004-11-25, 11:32 PM
Auntie Slag is a god...er...ess...er...

damn i'm so confused, but whatever it is...it hella rocks!

Extreme_Kup
2004-11-27, 12:07 AM
OOC: .....two versions of yourself in two feds?................ok, so that explains it. But can someone explain why I'm still a prominent jobber on both? ;)

*ring*

D-Ex1: Hello?

D-Ex2: ......STOP BOTHERING ME!!!

D-Ex: WHAT? I aint....oh hung up. Man why does my other D-Ex aint so cool like Igz or JD :( *cries like a baby*

IC:
D-Ex: So, let me get this straight guys, you aint Cyberstrike, you aint Windy who got hit in the head a lot of times to be a bi-sexual guy named 'auntie slag'? No? Oh damn you both, now I'm still confused *leaves*

Lord Zarak
2004-11-29, 03:40 PM
It has been set up since day one!

Were you awaiting an invitation?

Cyberstrike nTo
2004-11-29, 05:54 PM
Originally posted by Extreme_Kup
IC:
D-Ex: So, let me get this straight guys, you aint Cyberstrike, you aint Windy who got hit in the head a lot of times to be a bi-sexual guy named 'auntie slag'? No? Oh damn you both, now I'm still confused *leaves*



He left?
Good riddence to bad rubbish.

But I'll try to explain it to rest of you peabrains jack offs for one last time.

I am the evolution of the man who one knew as Cyberstrike.
I know everything he knew and more.
I have all of his money and more.
I was him but not anymore.

And that's all you peabrains asswiping jack-offing monkeys need to know for now. As for the rest you'll have to watch at AWF Warzone.

Ignavus
2004-11-30, 12:04 AM
Originally posted by Cyberstrike nTo
I am the evolution of the man who one knew as Cyberstrike.
I know everything he knew and more.

So what I'm hearing is... mind meld.

Me? I call Angus Grimm's brain. Then I can talk with his voice.. and stuff.




I really didn't think this through very well.

Shockmeister
2004-11-30, 01:52 AM
Originally posted by Cyberstrike nTo
I know everything he knew and more.
I have all of his money and more.
Do you havve hiss bad haircut...and more?

Do you havve hiss utter lack off anythhing ressembling talent...and more?

Do you havve hiss propenssity ffor ordering ludicrouss ssteel-meshh-chicken-ffinger rope-on-a-donkey'ss-arsse table match-type sstipulationss...AND MORE?!


Iff you ansswered 'yess' to any off thhe abovve...I am ssuddenly quite ffearfful ffor my ssanity.

Erm, evven thhough I appear to be inssane. Thhat iss how bad thhiss ssituation could be.

Halfshell
2004-12-01, 05:29 PM
Originally posted by Cyberstrike nTo
I am the evolution of the man who one knew as Cyberstrike.

As the slug evolved into the snail, folks.

I know everything he knew and more.

As the average toddler does, folks.

I have all of his money and more.

And yet he still can't buy a break or some talent, folks.

I was him but not anymore.

Because let's face it, would you really want to be?

As for the rest you'll have to watch at AWF Warzone.

Sorry, I have an attack of narcolepsy scheduled for that timeslot...