View Full Version : AWF Bonus Coverage: From a houseshow in Tulsa!

2004-06-13, 04:38 PM
Hardcore Title Ladder Rematch: Auros (C) v D-Extreme

JFA: And you can hear "F*cking in the Bushes" blasting, that signals the entrance of the reigning Hardcore Champion Sir Auros, and the crowd is obviously not happy about it.
JHA: The umpteenth piece of proof that fans are idiots! El Chingador is the best thing to hit the AWF since gorditas!

Despite his music, Auros does not come through the curtains. Rather, a camera backstage finds him hiding around the corner from D-Extreme's dressing room. A random AWF employee walks over and knocks on D's door and says, "It's time," and as the door opens and D-Extreme appears, Auros lunges out of the shadows and dents a chair over the back of D-Extreme's head!

JFA: What a cowardly move by the champion!
JHA: Cowardly? That's smart!
JFA: There are no pinfalls in this match. The only way to win the Hardcore Championship is to get back to the ring, climb one of the ladders out here, and retrieve the title belt, and it looks like Auros is already one step closer to doing just that. D-Extreme is down on the floor backstage and he looks hurt bad.
JHA: I love it! What great strategy!

As D-Extreme tries to get to his feet, Auros rears back and slams the chair into D-Ex's face, and the hardcore superstar begins bleeding already! Shrugging, Auros drops the chair and jogs for the entranceway, and as he passes through the curtains, the audience boos tremendously as Auros strolls down to the ring and grabs a ladder, then tosses it into the squared circle.

JHA: Great! This could be the shortest ladder match in wrestling history!
JFA: Our cameras still with D-Ex backstage...he's on his feet, stumbling toward the stage area...will he make it in time!
JHA: No, Auros, don't screw around with these moronic fans, climb!
JFA: Auros distracted for a moment by an overzealous fan at ringside...I think he said something degrading about hispanics...
JHA: Well, I can't argue with him there.
JFA: That's hideous! D-Extreme's on the stage now, stumbling down to the ring...Auros beginning to climb...D-Extreme in...shoulderblocks the ladder...the ladder's tipping....OH NO!!!! Auros straight over the top rope and all the way down through the Hindu announce table!!!
JHA: Shalamalamalecha!
JFA: What?!?
JHA: That's Hindu for "Auros is crazy!"

Drained from the run while losing blood, D-Extreme collapses in the ring, and fans already begin the "Holy Sh*t" chant as Auros lies in the shattered remains of the announce table.

JFA: All 255 pounds of Auros is splattered out here on the floor, and I don't know if he'll be able to recover from that! D-Ex, slowly getting to his feet now, righting the ladder.
JHA: Come on, Auros, you've got to!
JFA: Auros, slowly coming to...crawling towards the apron.
JHA: Get in there!
JFA: D-Extreme climbing the ladder...Auros up on the apron now...and inside...and he's got D's boot. D-Ex not going to get the championship on this exchange.
JHA: It's a miracle!
JFA: Auros pulling D-Ex down to the mat... and the fight is on! Lefts and rights, back and forth, the two men slugging it out! D-Ex, the renowned brawler, getting the better of the exchange, sends Auros into the ropes...D-Ex misses a clothesline...Auros trying for a cross-body, caught in midair...and D-Ex rams him backfirst into the ladder! D-Ex pulls him back...and again into the side of the ladder! The ladder is down, and so is Auros.

D-Extreme goes to the outside and grabs a steel chair, then slides in and smashes it three times over Auros' back! Auros tries to get to his feet, and D-Ex slams the chair into his face! D-Ex drags Auros to his feet and sends him into the ropes, but Auros ducks a clothesline and scores with his Atomic clothesline, and both men are down!

After a few moments, Auros gets up and grabs the ladder, but as he folds it up, D-Ex bounces back up and dropkicks the ladder into Auros' face! D-Ex throws the ladder aside, drags Auros to his feet, and scores with his XTreme Factor powerbomb into facecrusher, and both men are down again!

Slowly, D-Ex gets back up again, rights the ladder, and begins to climb. Auros slowly gets up but is well behind D-Ex.

JFA: This could be it...D-Extreme is only a rung or two away...WAIT A MINUTE!!!
JHA: Who is that guy?!?

As D-Ex reaches for the belt, a huge man in black leaps out of the crowd and into the ring. He reaches up and plucks D-Extreme off the ladder, putting him into a bodypress with one hand! The mystery man holds D-Ex there for a second, then turns him in midair and drops him into a shattering Diamond Cutter!!!

JHA: WOW! What a move!
JFA: D-Ex is down! D-Ex is down, and I think he's injured badly!

The crowd looks on in shock as the mystery man leans over D-Extreme's broken body, then grabs the cameraman and shouts, "Judge Death is here!!! You are guilty, and the punishment is death for all who live!!!"

JFA: I think Judge Death just broke D-Extreme's neck!!!
JHA: Auros doesn't know what to do...this big monster is headed for the backstage area...Auros pulling it together...he's headed up the ladder...it's academic. Auros has the belt, and this one's over!

RA: The winner of this bout, and STILL AWF Hardcore Champion, Sir Auros!

JFA: We need medical attention out here for D-Extreme, and we need it right now.
JHA: Medical attention? What about Auros! God bless that man! What a great win!
JFA: Don't even start...Judge Death making his presence felt already out here tonight…and he’s going to have to deal with the EXTREME now!

As Auros hugs his championship belt and heads for the backstage area, EMT's flood ringside and tend to D-Extreme.

JFA: D-Extreme has just been robbed of the Hardcore Championship, and for what? That monster had no business in this match!
JHA: Stop with the excuses, you down-home hick! This is a Hardcore Championship match! You have to be prepared for anything!
JFA: And look at D-Extreme, refusing medical attention. The crowd giving him a good round of applause, but I think they're still in shock after what we've just seen.
JHA: Like I said, Shalamalamalecha!
JFA: Will you stop?!?!

2004-06-13, 05:15 PM
<Judge Death is heading back to the locker rooms, an even more pronounced grin than usual on his face. A camera guy and random interviewer guy approach him, but he holds up one hand to stop them.>

"I know what your quesstionss will be. And ffrankly, none off thhem are worthh my time. But ffor thhe record..."

<Death turns to face the camera, seizing the lens with one hand.>

"Fffrom your persspectivve, D-Exxtreme, you will ssay thhat thhe attack wass unwarranted. To an extent, you are correct; you havve done nothhing more wrong thhan anythhing done by thhe resst off the people in thhis ffederation. But you were no better thhan thhem, eithher. Now, thhough...you are ffree. Rejoicce, D-Exxtreme; your dayss of ssinning havve come to an end!"

<Death lets go of the camera and stalks off to the back...>