View Full Version : A Special GPA Presentation

2004-09-15, 01:19 AM
This program has been brought to you by the GPA.

A voice over with various pictures and video fills the screen.

Sunny California, home of many things: sun, beaches, Hollywood and this! Suddenly, “For Whom the Bell Tolls” by Metallica blasts in the background and the scene changes to pictures of West Coast Choppers and Jesse James.

The camera pans to inside of the shop where the GPA can be seen along with several of the shops workers.

Then the camera pans around the room:

Viewfind is seen with his new 100% O.G shirt on laughing with an employee, Tempest sporting a Human Bulldozer bandana is seen looking at some of Jesse’s choppers, Divebomb is busy sporting his new “NWA and GPA, is There Anything Else?” hoodie finally the camera moves over to Ravage sitting on a bench talking to Jesse, both wearing a “Big Daddy Ravage, He Really is The Big Thing” shirt.

“Hey, hey!” Ravage yells to the camera.

“Welcome to a very special inside look at the GPA. This is going to be great you have our main man Jesse James *the camera pans to him as he nods to it* and his great West Coast Choppers and you have the GPA. This is going to be the closest you can get to us while still being shown on broadcast TV!” Both laugh as a cloud of smoke can be seen in the background with View passing some type of smoking device around.

The camera stops on Ravage again.

“Now it seems that at Mayhem, HBK decided to run his mouth again. You know it’s pretty easy to run your mouth when you have an ocean protecting your broken ass but that is ok. Thanks to the greatest web page on Earth GPA.com. It seems someone was working at the island that old HBK was on. Now this video shows some interesting footage lets take a look.” Ravage stops and points off screen.

Some blurry color footage comes in then suddenly comes into view; it’s the island resort HBK shot his promo at. The camera moves around then HBK and the woman Amy in his promo appear and can be overheard.

“Come on, please I can pay you whatever you want for this chance to get on TV. You know you want too.” Oddly the voice sounds a bit funny almost like a stoned Viewfind.

“Well, you know I really do need the money. And it’s not like Ravage is here. So ok!” The girl hops around happily “Besides I need the money for my boobs!” She chirps sounding an awful lot like Tempest.

After that HBK grabs Amy and they embrace suddenly the picture is jarred back to West Coast Choppers.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! We need to keep this PG-13ish. Man, but don’t worry the rest of that video will be up for purchase on GPA.com. If you’re over 18 of course.” Ravage laughs and looks around the garage.

“Now Jesse why don’t you tell them one of the reasons you’re here today?” Ravage asks Jesse James.

“Well you see, I am a huge GPA fan, as well as of course a fan of Big Daddy Ravage here. So when I saw what HBK did to a cut out of Ravage in the islands, I decided that something needed to be done.” Jesse explains.

“And what was that?” Ravage asks.

*Suddenly the Monster Garage theme can be heard in the background*

“I decided to make a machine to help HBK get rid of his wheelchair when he’s done with it.” Jesse answers.

Suddenly the screen fades out; more of this GPA promotion will be back in a bit an announcer tells the audience.

A commercial airs for the special limited edition GPA action figure set consisting of the whole GPA and autographed by each member limited to 500 pieces and selling for $50.00 act now.

The Monster Garage theme kicks in again.

Monster Garage factoid: Did you know that HBK really is afraid of Ravage. Really!

The screen fades back into the garage with a massive 2005 Dodge Dakota seeing in the garage.

“Now Jesse before we paid our bills, what was this machine you mentioned.” Ravage asks pointed at the truck.

“Well, I decided to make this. The monster truck steel muncher. Nothing like a massive truck with a steel grinder in the back end. We got the grinder special order; its blades can tear apart solid steel like it was nothing more than paper. The collector at the top of the grinder keeps the parts from flying all over the place and collects them in a metal shoot here.” Jesse explains.

After that a quick video shoot is shown of Ravage helping to build the truck, hoisting up massive pieces of metal and equipment used in its design and helping the workers.

“Wow that’s pretty sick. Plus this bad boy was a lot of fun to work on. Now Jesse let’s show HBK what he can do with this beast.” Ravage then reaches out and brings out a wheelchair with a mannequin that looks like a dead ringer for HBK. Jesse hops in the truck and turns on the engine its massive rumble fills the room he then licks a switch and the grinder starts.

An announcer can be heard again.

“Will the Monster Truck Metal Muncher work? There is only one way to find out?” Ravage tosses the chair and mannequin into the top of the machine a sound of tearing metal and shedding dins throughout the garage.

Ravage then grabs the metal bin and pulls it out to the camera as mangled metal and plastic can be seen.

The announcer pipes up.

“It worked, now I wonder what will look better after the PPV this box of trash or HBK?”

“Damn Jesse! That’s was some great stuff!” Ravage shakes Jesse’s hand.

“Thanks, but I am not quite done yet. Boys.” Jesse yells and points off camera as four of the employees run off and wheel out 4 brand new custom built choppers for each member of the GPA there.

“In thanks for your time here, plus the fact you guys paid me about a quarter of a million apiece these are your very own choppers. Made by my employees and custom designed by me.

“Damn!” Is the collective reply of the GPA.

Ravage shakes Jesse’s hand again and the camera pans back to him.

“You see that’s it everyone. Jesse knows who’s going to win at the PPV so doesn’t everyone else. So why don’t you quit while your breathing HBK before you end up like this.” He grabs the bin and chucks it into a wall as scraps in the bin fly everywhere.

Then the camera pans to see each GPA member on his chopper laughing as the four bikes peel out and the camera fades to a GPA logo.

Visit GPA.com now.

2004-09-15, 01:23 AM

See when you roll wit the GPA you get all the find things in life, when you don't...... well just ask HBK!

HOLLA! :smokin:

2004-09-15, 01:31 AM
As a curious side note, I too have a website.

Its called HotNakedIgnavus.com (http://homestarrunner.com), and I think its pretty obvious what it contains.

So I guess the obvious question is, which website are you gonna go to? A bunch of big, mildly brain dead, men... that worship other mildly brain dead men oooor my infamous milkshake in action.

I don't think it's a very hard decision, now is it?

2004-09-15, 01:50 AM
What, wait a minute. Who left the thrash can open again?

Now go play with your milkshake elsewhere little man before you get hurt.

2004-09-15, 01:55 AM
Yeah! Who left it the trash open?

You all know Ravage gets out when you do! Now Im gonna have to get him back in there... which means... >shudder< touching him...

I'll play with my milkshake anywhere I please, big man. I play with it in a box, or on a train, or in a plane. You don't intimidate me, Rav. I've seen your kind before, and I See right through You.

2004-09-15, 02:20 AM
Originally posted by Ignavus
Yeah! Who left it the trash open?

You all know Ravage gets out when you do! Now Im gonna have to get him back in there... which means... >shudder< touching him...

I'll play with my milkshake anywhere I please, big man. I play with it in a box, or on a train, or in a plane. You don't intimidate me, Rav. I've seen your kind before, and I See right through You.

OOC: That's hilarious. It's sick... but it's even more hilarious...

2004-09-15, 03:02 AM
Just remember to watch where you spill your milk shake you don't want any accidents.

2004-09-15, 03:05 AM
Righto. I accidently got it on your moms face once... that did NOT go over well... at all.

2004-09-15, 03:12 AM
I am sure it didn't. But at least it didn't leave my mom unable to walk for days like it did yours.

2004-09-15, 03:39 AM
Tell ya what, big guy, once you get one of your buds from the GPA there to teach you how to string together an insult that makes sense... then we'll talk.

Or I could teach you. My hint: Obscenely annoying pop culture references.

2004-09-15, 06:24 PM
Tell you what milkshake boy.

Since it makes sense I will break you.

There is your pop culture reference.

Now go play with your milkshake while listening to Micheal Jackson before I decide to make you join the Wheelchair Users of the AWF Fanclub.

2004-09-15, 07:51 PM
Ah...thhe phhrasse iss, "I MUSST break you." Not, "I will break you," lasst time I checked. Or, more accurately, lasst time Auntie Ssslag tried to make you ssay it. And you havve ffinally cavved in...what did (s)he thhreaten to do, exxactly? Do her own rendition off thhe sslowly-making-itss-way-into-mainsstream-radio milkshhake ssong?

2004-09-15, 08:43 PM
You know, I love people with speak problems. Now go back to the GI Joe movie you dropped out of.

2004-09-15, 09:47 PM
GI Joe? You dare to sspeak off ssuch a cruddy ffranchisse in ffront off me?!

And why no good ressponsse, big guy? Too much sstrain on thhe brain sstem? Ssstarting to get terrible fflashhbackss off your lasst encounter withh Auntie? Perssonally, I do not ssee how, ssincce shhe iss kinda cute...and, withh thhat ssaid, I would like to point out thhat thhiss disscusssion iss offf thhe record...

Or maybe you are jusst ssmarting ovver thhe ffact thhat thhe Ssslag rendition off thhe Milkshhake Sssong rated higher thhan your covver off Jenny Fffrom Thhe Block on thhe AWFff karaoke album. It iss nothhing to be ashhamed off, really, we were all drunk thhat night...

OOC: I'd like to apologise to anyone who thinks GI Joe is good. Personally, I've very little experience with it; in fact, I had no idea I sounded like one of the characters when I write IC.

2004-09-15, 10:05 PM
OOC- No worries :)

You know, I am sure Chris Latta is roto-tilling his grave just like Asivom was after that crap with Will Smith this summer but thats beside the point.

And why did I not waste my time with a decent reply to you. Here's why and I will tell you in a way you might understand.

Youuuuu Arettthhhh Not Worrrttttthhhh MYYYTH TIMETH!

After I finish off HBK at the PPV and then I will stomp out the gay.. I mean Game soon after I will rule the AWF with the GPA if I have to rip skin and snap every bone of every useless jobber in this fed so be it.

Now do what you should be doing and carry my duffle back jobber.

2004-09-15, 11:54 PM
Oh, right, I shhould indeed be carrying your back. Sssincce you havve no sspine to ssupport it, affter all.

And ffrankly, iff you jabber on about ssomeone who iss sstuck in a wheelchair ass iff he iss all thhat matterss to you, I do not ssee how I - who iss quite capable off ussing motor ffunctionss - warrantss your ignorancce. Thhen again, iff I had an ego thhe ssizze off yourss, I would havve trouble sseeing passt it too.

Oh yeass, and you will deffinitely rule thhe AWFff. Becausse, y'know, beating evveryone up automatically qualiffiess you to become part off thhe upper management. Yesss...And thhiss GPA sstufff; I nevver undersstood why thhey put up withh you. Thhey're sssuppossed to be rapperss, or emcceess, or whatevver thosse kidss call thhemsselvvess thhesse dayss. Yet you...rarely evven attempt to rhyme, and it ssoundss painffully fforcced, and devvasstatingly unentertaining, when you do. 'Coursse, thhe ssame could be ssaid off Divvebomb, exxccept, well, he can utilisse hiss neural cortexx. You havve not masstered thhat technique yet. Givve it time.

2004-09-16, 01:28 AM
Yawns, look Snakeeyes.

You know I am too good for you. I could break you like the spineless creature you talk like in a blink of an eye. But what would be the point?

You are no good to me, you'd do nothing to farther my time here other than be another body.

And how dare you question why I am in the GPA. Unlike you they have talent. And let's face it having the biggest dog in the yard in your pack is a pretty good idea.

So keep running your mouth Shocky because I am sure soon I will shut it for you if you keep it up.

2004-09-16, 01:35 AM
Originally posted by Ravage
And let's face it having the biggest dog in the yard in your pack is a pretty good idea.

What're you talking about, Rav? I'm not in the GPA!

Ooooooh, you mean the heaviest person. I was thinking of something totally different.

2004-09-16, 01:43 AM
"Urrrk...ack...n-no...cannot be..."

<Death promptly collapses to his knees and begins to rhythmically beat his helmet-wearing head off the concrete floor, moaning in agony. After twenty seconds or so, he stops, breathing ragged.>

"N-nevver...nevver...mention thhat name. Thhere iss no Shhockmeisster. He iss gone. Thhere iss only Deathh."

<Death staggers back up again, shaking his head and pinching the bridge of his nose.>

"And I am glad thhat you havve been intrigued enoughh to actually conssider movving toward me, Ravvage; ass I havve ssaid elssewhere, judgement iss eassier withh willing prey. Ssso all I havve to do iss keep sspeaking, and you will be drivven into a ffoaming ffrenzzy? Good, thhat ssoundss eassy enoughh."

<Death stands up straight again, the corners of his lipless mouth turning up into a smile.>

"And pleasse...Biggesst Dog? Iss thhat thhe besst thhing you can call yoursselff - an ovverssizzed mongrel? Humility iss a nicce quality, but really, it iss not recommended in thhiss line off work, drokkhead. And how do I dare? I dare by opening my jaw and ssaying ssomethhing in a challenging tone thhat no-one hass ssaid prevvioussly. Sssimple, no? Or would you preffer it in monossyllabic termss, jusst ffor your kindergarten mental age?"

<Death tilts his head to one side.>

"And jusst for thhe record...Sssnakess do, in ffact, havve sspiness. But again, I would not exxpect you to know thhat."

2004-09-16, 02:19 AM
Snakes have spines. Good, but it looks as though they lack the intellgence needed to not piss off larger predators.

2004-09-16, 05:43 AM
Lassst time I checked, thhe King Cobra can bring down an Affrican Elephhant withh a ssingle bite. It hass no ffear off larger creaturess, and withh due reasson. It can - and will - desstroy thhem all with not a care in thhe world.

2004-09-16, 09:09 AM
D-Ex: What is this? Ravage getting double teamed by the rookies? Now why does this thing not surprise me. And to think I had to halt my bag packing for this. Ok boys, Death, Iggy......proceed with the regular scheduled programming. *returns to packing his bags*

OOC: hehehe milkshake rendition by auntie slag? THat brings memories, that was just a few months ago. Nice to see the AWF back.

2004-09-16, 12:00 PM
The rookies like most women only wish they could "double-team" me.

2004-09-16, 01:48 PM
OOC: I didn't know Aunty Slag had used it... I had no intention of plagarising him/her. I hope (s)he can forgive me, (s)he's my hero. I hope to someday have his/her babies.

IC: Ravage when you say 'women want to double team me'...

by 'women' do you mean, 'all the AWF wrestlers'

and by 'want' do you mean 'really really want'

and by 'to double' do you mean 'me to learn'

and by 'team me' do you mean 'how to keep my mouth shut!'

Then yes, yes. You were exactly right. Your infinite knowledge is frightening in all its glory. All bow down to his amazingness, for it is indeed amazing. By any chance, would you happen to have a PHD? Dr. Ravage just sounds so glorious.

2004-09-16, 08:08 PM
OCC- Actually I do have a masters and have debating getting a PHD.

You know what Milkshake Boy?

Why don't you put up or shut up. Tempest and I took that other guy that acted alot like you out of the AWF a few months ago and I am behind on my beatings quota for the month. Well if we include what I did to the Lame and HBK I am not but whatever.

So come on milkshake boy what do you say?

2004-09-17, 08:48 AM
I'm gonna let you in on a little secret there, Rav.

I'm a lazy, lazy man. I dont see any point to putting effort into fighting you. Yeah, you're a big guy, and you've been here longer than me, ergo you have more experience. You might even put up a good fight, but here's the thing: I don't really respect you.

And since I really can't be bothered about you one way or the other, I really can't see why it's worth it to waste my energy fighting you. I don't see the point. I do what I want, Rav, and I want nothing to do with you.

You might say I'm running away, and knowing your vast depth of wit, I expect that's exactly what you'll say. And honestly, I don't care if that's how you see it. I know what I am, and I know what you are.

So go find someone else to pick on, that you think you can beat. You GPA sure have alot of people pissed at you, Im sure someone will be willing. I have more important things to tend to.

2004-09-17, 12:58 PM
And I am sure playing with your milkshake is high on that list.

But you see thats the fun part about being in a wrestling fed then Lazyboy. Hey I think I found a new nickname for you.

You can't exactly just run away from other people. You see if I tell the higherups I want to beat you like an unwanted child in the ring and the higherups say that sounds like a great idea for ratings. Guess what? I get you in the ring anyway.

And well if they say no. It's not like I ever had much respect for the rules anyway. I will just come down sometime when you don't want me there and one Hangover get the emt's and a stretcher for you.

One way or another I still get what I want.

2004-09-17, 02:46 PM
I knew you wouldn't get it rav. That's why you aren't worth it, because you would never get it.

That being said, if you manage to make them book a match against me, fine. I'll fight you. I respect their decision, if not yours.

If you come out while I'm fighting someone that is worth my time, then I'm gonna be pissed. I won't just go down.

Either way, I'll fight you. Morpheus thought he could just knock me around too, but I managed to make a few hits, now didn't I? And honestly, there, Rav, do you think you're half as good as Morpheus? I know you'll probably say you are, but really... deep down, what do you know?

As people like you are freaks for the last word, I'll leave you with it. I'm done with you, and on to better things.

2004-09-17, 04:51 PM
Now, I like to thhink thhat I am a perffectly ssane indivvidual.

Oh, shhut up at thhe back, I am sso!

But now, I ffind mysselff withh ssomethhing to ssay; ssomethhing sso deccidedly inssane, thhat I might ass well become H.M. Murdock'ss roommate at thhe V.A. hosspital. And what I want to ssay iss...

Ignoramuss, I am withh you on thhiss.

Thhere, I ssaid it. I will now havve to beat my head offf thhe nearesst wall many, many timess to revversse thhe efffect. Or ssomethhing.

Now, we havve nevver really gotten along, Ignoramuss. Othherwisse, I might actually reffer to you by your proper name oncce in a while. But iff it comess down to eithher ffocussing on a lazzy monkey-thhing, or a brick-headed mongrel withh thhe phhyssique and, unffortunately, thhe intelligencce quotient off thhe avverage Ssstegossauruss, it iss not a diffficult deccission to make. Pluss, he hass not bothhered to ssay anythhing clevver affter I sspent ssevveral vvaluable minutess coming up withh good Anti-Ravv inssultss. Thhat, quite ffrankly, iss thhe lasst blinkin' sstraw.

Ssso iff you are willing, Ignoramuss...and iff Ravvage iss not too bussy sscarpering withh hiss tail between hiss chubby thhighss in thhe oppossite direction...thhen I would like to back you up on thhiss movvement. Thhat being thhe deccimation off an utter moron.

What ssay you, I?

2004-09-17, 09:28 PM
I've always believed that this sport is more about intelligence than it is about raw strength. The man who thinks his plan through is the man who will win. And you, JD, have proven that to me.

Not only will I enjoy being your partner, but I'll enjoy teaching Ravaged to not pick on people he thinks will be an easy win. I'll enjoy teaching him why not he isn't half as good as he thinks he is.

Im thankful for your help, JD. But that doesn't mean I won't still keep my eye on you. I trust you, I know you won't betray me - especially for Ravaged. But don't assume this means we're balanced - You and I will still have a debt to settle after this.

So Ravaged, you asked for it. After Overdrive, if the bookers will have it - of course, you vs. Judge Death and Ignavus

2004-09-17, 10:38 PM
Funny a meeting of the jobber minds.

First off I am booked at Overdrive. I get to finish HBK's career.

Now second if you two really want to gang up on me fine. But you know since it is my world and you two losers do have to live in it. I will make the match not you guys.

And you know what, I think I have a perfect tag partner to help me throw you jokers all around the ring.

2004-09-18, 04:24 PM
Oh yess, thhat iss a sspanner in thhe workss; he iss booked. And ffrankly, affter HBK iss done withh you, Ravvage, I havve my doubtss ass to whethher or not thhere will be any conssiderable amount off you lefft to beat. Fffiddlesstickss, hmm?

Now, Ignoramuss...on ssome pointss, I havve no clue ass to what you are on about. When havve I evver sshown evvidencce off 'thhinking a plan thhrough'? Improvvissation iss thhe besst plan; 'tiss more fflexxible.

Ssstill, you sseem to be echoing my thhoughtss. I cannot admit to ffully trussting you, eithher, thhough I would be more worried iff it were ssomeone elsse I wass teamed withh. You, at leasst, keep to your promissess. Unlesss you havve promissed to wake up beffore noon, off coursse...

And, ffinally...oh no, a 'ssurprisse' tag partner. Let me guesss; thhe Human...no, wait, 'human' givvess thhiss ffool too much credit...thhe Dung-beetle Bulldozzer, Tempesst. Ooh, I am shhaking in my helmet now. It iss, indeed, 't3h ff34r.' Fffear off havving to try and communicate withh yet anothher mentally-challenged clone off Donkey Kong. Fffrankly, attempting thhat ffeat withh one off you wass diffficult enoughh...

2004-09-18, 11:16 PM
I'll just leave it a surprise. But I will say it will be an old school beating.

2004-09-19, 01:41 AM
Iff by thhat you mean thhe remaining memberss of Run-DMC will be ssupporting you, thhen I will remember to bring my autographh book.

Thhat ssaid, thhey havve classs, and ass ssuch, thhe chanccess off thhem sstooping low enoughh to hang around withh you, Ravvage, iss ass remote ass thhe chanccess off ffinding a palm tree in Sssiberia.

2004-09-19, 02:04 AM
Hehe, just keep it up snakey but iam sure even a moron like you can be enlightened.

2004-09-19, 09:09 AM
Ahh, but you ssee, I havve already recceivved enlightenment. And it iss good. You are thhe one who iss lacking in thhiss regard, Ravvage; hopeffully, thhat will change ssoon enoughh. And who knowss? Maybe we will be able to open up thhe creativve portion off your brain sso you will not havve to usse thhe ssame inssultss ovver and ovver, and you might actually - dear God! - ssay ssomethhing off genuine interesst. Ass it sstandss, I need thhree cupss off esspressso to get thhrough each one off your tiradess. And thhey are quite shhort.

2004-09-19, 01:45 PM
Look Cobra Commander.

First off Hooked On Phonics, this howith youssshhhh talktthhhhh is getting annoying on the eyes.

Second, don't worry you and jobber number 2 want a tag match you got it. Your just going to wish you had shut up and left with your tail inbetween your legs like you should have.

2004-09-19, 03:17 PM
Well, perhapss my dialect iss irritating...but thhen again...


If I.

talked like this. all the time.

it would be annoying too. dont you think.

I hope you can ffigure out who thhat wass an imitation off.

Hint: It wass you, nitwit.

And trusst me...thhe only reasson I wishh I had kept my motuhh shhut would be thhe ssimple ffact thhat, iff I had, I would not havve had to talk to ssomethhing withh lesss vvocal sskill thhan a concrete halff-brick. And yess, thhat would be you again.

But really, I am sstarting to losse my ffocuss here...Thhe main reasson ffor thhiss evvent hass nothhing to do withh my loathhing off you, though thhat iss a ffair part...it iss more to do withh fforwarding thhe coursse off jussticce in thhiss organissation, one moron at a time. And you havve drawn thhe shhort sstraw, sso to sspeak, and ass ssuch, are nexxt in line, Ravvage. My only hope iss thhat thhe cleanssing proccesss will ssomehow grant you more brain ccellss.

But I shhall not get my hopess up.

2004-09-19, 05:49 PM
Rav, hommes, I have to explain something to you.

Everyone knows that I'm lazy, that's a given. But you see, I'm also greedy. I know that HBK deserves to rip into you, to break you in half twice over, and I know that he will too.

But then again, I kinda hope he leaves the tiniest spark of life left in you... enough so that the following week I'll have my fight too.

Now Ravaged, you came at me looking for an easy fight. I don't know why. Maybe you thought that you needed a boost of confidence, or that you could intimidate people by wailin of poor 'ole Igz. Here's the deal though, Ravaged, you may win, you may not.

But like I told Morpheus, I won't go down easily. So when you came after me looking for a good fight, well... that was not your brightest idea.

Actually, given your repetoire of ideas, maybe it was.

2004-09-20, 03:50 AM
When Jobbers Think They Have Lives. Today on Fox.

2004-09-20, 03:56 AM
And today on NBC: the much anticipated return of, 'So you're so dim-witted, you not only make bad jokes, but then re-use them?'

2004-09-20, 04:08 AM
For a lazy guy your run your mouth alot. Anyway I am done wasting my time with you. Anything else that needs to be said will be in your last match. You and Cobra Commander vs Me and heh you'll see that running your mouth to me was a bad idea.

2004-09-20, 06:09 AM
You know, at ffirsst, I thhought thhiss whole 'Cobra Commander' thhing wass an efffort to inssult me. Thhen I realissed; it iss a compliment in dissguisse!

I mean, come on. Cobra Commander; he iss ffaccelesss, commandss an evvil army, and iss drivven mad by power. Who would not want to be him? Ssso thhankss to Ravvage ffor givving me thhiss honour, thhen humbling yoursselff by taking your name ffrom, ehh, a casssette.

2004-09-21, 02:04 PM
What the Crap?

*Buts a rubbish bin on his head*

What the f-f-fuuucck is going on innnn hherrrrrre?

All I seee is a dummbbbbaassss with a stut-ta-ta-ter. Te-te-te day junior. What the crraapppp iss your deal? You get hit by a moooooving truccckkkk at birttthhh? You start going at Ravage here again and you'll end up in a hospital like The Big Sourse Machine, Sparky, Starscreamer and of course The Heart Brend Kid, Sean O'Con. So shut up, be quiet before I get all of the GPA and kick your trash eating-sh!t spewing-garbage munching-ass licking-d!ck biting gay ol ass back to the dark side of where ever the hell you came from.


2004-09-21, 04:20 PM
<Judge Death, understandably, recoils in disgust.>

Fffirsst, putting a bin on your head iss dumb. Only a sselect ffew can make thhat look ass good ass it doess on me. And you are not one off thhem.

Sssecond, I thhought Ravvage wass thhe sspeech-impaired one in your party, what withh hiss unemotivve, punctuation-vvoid drone. Evvidently, I wass misstaken, ssincce you sseem to havve trouble, ah, "moooooving" your tongue whenevver it iss in your mouthh. Thhankffully, ffrom what I havve sseen around here, you sseem to almosst alwayss havve it ffirmly entrenched in Vvviewffind'ss rear end, sso thhat iss not ass much off a problem ass it shhould be.

And what iss it withh you guyss? Fffirsst, it iss Ravvage in a handicap matchh. He askss ffor asssissstancce. Thhat iss ssomewhat undersstandable. But thhen you come along and want your entire sstable-load off rhyming ffoolss - and Divvebomb - to do a number on me alone. You do realisse nothhing good can come ffrom thhat, off coursse? Eithher you win an utterly pointlesss vvictory ovver ssomeone who you sseem to vview ass being below you, or you all wind up incapable off eating ssolid materialss, havving ssuccceeded only in inffuriating me. What iss thhe point, vvermin?

Oh, and on a ffinal note...Hosspitalss are ffor people who want to sstay alivve. Why on earthh would I want thhat?

'Holla', I believve iss thhe term.

2004-09-21, 05:48 PM
Hooray! We've finally drawn attention of the GPA!

I feel like I'm going through a rite of passage, on my way to becoming a full grown man :swirly:

So I guess, Tempest, you're Ravaged's "Mystery Partner." Big Suprise. JD is my ally on this one, so if you threaten him I'm in on it too. That may not mean much to you, in fact I expect it doesn't.

You probably look at me and think, "whata stoner slacker little piece of trash i could so totally beat him up without trying." Oh, sorry - that'd be Ravaged's thought process. Yours would involve punctuation.

But that's a wrong assumption, as I've show once before. Have I ever once seen the sun come up? No. Have I ever opted for making dinner over ordering pizza? No. Have I ever been just sitting around and proclaimed, "Lets do something!" No. But that doesn't mean, when I have a reason to, that I won't come for you. So don't you dare say to me 'go back to being a slacker,' or some such wit, either of you. After Overdrive, I'll start working up the energy to fight you.

And as for the archivebowl... I feel as though I haven't said enough about it. So, Mystery Opponent A and Mystery Opponent B, you better watch out! Yah! Grrrr! Me and Mystery Partner A are gonna kick your respective petooties! Yarrr!

Scary, hunh?

I don't know why you guys keep shouting at the end of your pieces, but I'll return the favor.


2004-09-21, 08:08 PM
Sadly you two Tempest is not the partner. I know that makes you sad as he could beat you two jobbers in his sleep with a hand tied behind his back.

I have to say though my partner maybe even more of a badass than Tempest and thats saying alot. But hey you two jobbers will see sometimes wishes are best left untrue.

2004-09-21, 08:38 PM
OOC: Igz? It's 'Khan', not 'Kahn.' You fool. Have you not heard me say it enough already?

IC: Oh no!

*Mock gasp of horror...*

It iss not Tempesst! In ffact, it iss more off a 'badass!'

Well, dang. How are we going to guesss who it iss ssupposssed to be now? I mean, 'more badasss thhan Tempesst' includess about eighty perccent off thhiss planet'ss population. And it could be any off thhem. Could be Barbara Ssstreissand. Could be Jet Li. Could be - ack! - Michael Jacksson on bail. And ssincce it iss Ravvage, affter all, thhat lasst one sseemss likely.

And indeed, wishhess are offten lefft ssolely in thhe mind. I mean, did wishhing evver manage to make you into a man, Ravvage? Or a credible ssupersstar? Doess not look thhat way...