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View Full Version : The Rage continues...........


Mirage
2005-03-11, 12:04 PM
Since giving away his gym to the caretaker after being tricked by his advisors at the gym, Helmut and Martha, into making an insulting promo with fake clips of the Ravsihing One he has been trying to find a way back in to the AWF.........

Ragebowski arrives at the main reception area of AWF HQ dressed in a tight fitting black suit with frilly white shirt underneath and sunglasses

*pushes reception bell*

Rage: *coughs*ahem*coughs*

*pushes bell again*

still nobody turns round to assist the Ravishing One

*pushes the bell a third time*

Rage hits the bell so hard it slips out between the counter and Rage's hand, flying off, hitting and breaking an expesive looking vase of flowers

Reception girl 'Teela': Yes! How can I help you?

Rage: Hehe, hi, don't you recognise me?

Teela: uhm, should I?

Rage: *lifts sunglasses, runs fingers across eyes* how about now? *smiles*

Teela: uuuhhhhhh.........

Rage puts the glasses back on feeling embarassed

2 attractive females walk by

Rage: (to Teela) ok, just a sec.....

Rage runs up to the girls

Rage: Hi, have you 2 got a minute?

Girls: uhhh

Rage: great!

Rage hurridly rushes the girls to the counter arranging them so one is either side of him with arms wrapped around him

Rage: (to Teela) ok, how about now??

Teela: uhm, well.....

small child walks past with his mum and points

child: mummy, mummy, look! it's that man who used to get beaten up all the time on tv!! he was one of the worsy wrestlers I ever saw!

Rage raises his eyebrow and looks at the kid

child: he used to get beat up all the time! he called himself the The Big Ragebowski!! hahahahaha!

Rage: hey! get lost kid! go and play in the road or something!

child's mum: how dare you?!

the child's mum runs up to Rage and hits him with her handbag in the groin! the Ravishing One falls in a heap to the floor

Child's mum: come along thomas, let's go find some real superstars!

Child: coming mummy!

Rage reaches out for the childs ankle but the boy dodges and stamps on his hand

Child: ha ha loser!

Rage: Owww! dammit!

Rages ladies: You loser! picking on defenceless little kids!

Rage: (getting back to his feet) Defenceless? did you see what that little monster did to me?!?

Rages ladies: hmph! yeah, bye-bye!

the ladies pour a jug of water over Rages head and leave

Teela: *clicks switch* security to reception, we have a possible lunatic, please coem immediately!

Rage: What? huh? I'm the Big Ragebowski!

2 hefty security guards come running towards the Big Ragebowski

Rage: all I want is a .....uhhhh!

the dark haired security guard rugby tackles Rage to the ground with a huge thud, the second one dives on top wildly dishing out lefts and rights. Moans and screams areheard from The Ravishing One as he is beaten down by the security! After they are done they pick Rage up and throw him out the door! moments later Teela comes rushing to the door and throws Rage's resume out after him!

Rage: *looks up* it's your loss!!

Rage limps off with various cuts and bruises and in a lot of pain

Feeling downheartened about being thrown out of the AWF building Rage goes back to the hotel he's been staying at since leaving his gym.

..........................................

The next day Rage decides to take a turn back in his old trade, the adult film industry......

Rage arrives at the 'eruption studios' owned by ex vietnam vet 'Major Eruption'. Rage enters the reception area and pushes the buzzer for the receptionist

Recepion guy 'Romeo': Hello and welcome to eruption studios mu name is Romeo, how may I help you?

Rage: Hi, uh, don't you know who I........*remembers what happened in AWF reception*, uh, never mind, I am the Big Ragebowski, you may remember me from such adult features as 'Ragebowski, where's my wife?', 'Thunderballs'and the adult awards nominated '28 Girls Later'

Romeo: uh, hmmm, yes wait hang on! Ragebowski, right?

Rage: yeah! that's me! I brought a whole new meanig to the film the cable guy!!!

Romeo: riiiiight, well, er what brings youto our studio?

Rage: Well, I was kinda hoping to do you all a favour really....

Romeo: Oooooh, a favour eh? ooooh naughty!

Rage: *coughs* anyway, uh, what I was thinking was, maybe doing a few films for you guys over the next few months whilst I am waiting for a new opening in the AWF

Romeo: Oh right, I see, well I don't think we have anything really on at the moment, let me just have a word with the Major.....

Romeo walks away in to the office of Major Eruption....

Romeo: Major?

Major: Yeah?, whaddya want dammit!

Romeo: remember those films from a couple of years ago with that dumb guy, y'know the one who like kept getting so nervous we always had to do at least a dozen takes on each pf his scenes?

Major: uhm, let me see, do you mean that guy who thought he was a high profile professional wrestler?

Romeo: that's him

Major: ha ha!!!!! professional wrestler? he never did know what to do in the ring!!! ha ha !!!!

Romeo: he's wanting to know if we have any work for him!

Major: hah ha! that guy wants to know if we have any work for him???? Not in a million years!!!

Romeo: What should I tell him?

Major: tell him....*phone rings, major answers* Hello, eruption studios, you're spekaing to major eruption how may i help you? uh-huh....riiiight.....you sure?.....idiot!.....you're fired!!!!!*phone slams*

Romeo: uhhhhh

Major: dammit! that was Max Thrust! apparently his girlfriemd just found out about what he does went crazy and castrated the young fella!

Romeo: eeeuuuwwww!

Major: right ok, tell Ragebowski he can start in the morning, we need someone to replace Thrust, we'll need him on set at 10:30 am to begin filming on 'Maxwatxh', oh wait, we're gonna have to change that now aren't we?, uhm, let's call it 'Ragewatch'!

Romeo: yes sir!

Romeo exits the majors office and returns to speak to Rage

Romeo: hello sir, sorry to keep you waiting

Rage: that's fine

Romeo: i spoke to the major and he wants you to start in the morning at 10:30 in our new production of 'Ragewatch'

Rage: sounds good!

Rage smiles successfully and walks away to get soem sleep ready for his big day tomorrow..........

........................................

*wakes up*

The Big Ragebowski awakens and looks to his left to see a blonde haired sleeping beauty

Rage: hehe!

The Big Ragebowski looks to his right to see another sleeping bloonde haired beauty!

Rage: Mmmm, hehe-hee!

Rage looks across to the bathroom door and sees the shadow of another shapely vixen walking towards the light

*an alarm rings*

Rage: Huh?

Rage looks around wondering were the noise is coming from

Rage: Huh?

*Smash!

Rage: Ouch!

*alarm still rings!*

Rage: Huh, uh, wha?

Rage grabs the alram clock and throws it against the wall.
Rage shakes his head as he wakes up from his dream, rolls over and falls out of bed!

Rage falls on top of Trixie and a squeak is heard

Rage: Hi Trixie, I thought I'd deflated you before I went to sleep?

Trixie: ................

Rage: Awww, I've left you out all night

Trixie: ................

Rage: Well, I guess I'll have to put you back in your cupboard, don't want you getting all dirty now, hehe

Trixie: ................

Rage gets up and drags his latex lover by the hand towards the cupboard past the window.

Stopping for a brief moment the Ravishing One looks out of the window overlooking the beach with the sun rising on the horizon

Rage: See that Trixie?

Trixie: ..............

Rage: The beach? out there?

Trixie: ...............

Rage: Well, anyways that's gonna be the setting of my new film, 'Ragewatch'

Trixie: ................

Rage: Well, in it I play the star, Rage Huge-Cannon, a man who lives to save the lives of beautiful scantily clad swimmers in the sea. He takes them back to his headquarters for a thorough CPR session!

Trixie: ................

Rage: Well, anyway I better get you back in the cupboard now

Rage opens the door and places his rubber romantic interest in to the cupboard

Rage: I'm just gonna let the air out now, hold still

*knock knock*

Maid: Room Service!!!

Rage: Huh?

Trixie: .............

Maid: Room Service!!!

Rage: hold on, one minute!

Trixie: ..............

Rage fumbles with Trixie as he tries to let the air out, several squeaky noises are heard as the Ravishing One desperately tries to remove the air from his plastic partner

Maid: Ok, I come in now yes?

Rage: No!

Maid: Yes, very good, I'm coming in!

Rage swiftly grabs Trixie and hides her behind his back whilst still trying to remove the air

Maid enters

Maid: Hello Mr Ragebowski, I am Maria, I will be your maid for the day

Rage: Hehe *checks out Maria* hehe, mmmm, *realises he is holding Trixie behind his back* uh, hehe, uh, *sweats* well, er, hello there, Maria is it?

Maria: Mmmm, I am Maria yes, I have heard so much about the Big Ragebowski I was so happy when I found out I would be servicing his room today

*Squeak*

Rage: *startled* uh

Maria: What was that Mr Ragebowski?

Rage: What was what?

*Squeak*

Maria: That!

Rage: Oh that, *sweats*, oh that's nothing, just a bit of gas, I had a really bad curry last night, whew!

Maria: hmmmm

Rage: hehe *smiles*

*Squeak*

Maria walks in to the bathroom and leaves the Panicing Ragebowski in the bedroom with the ever deflating Trixie

Rage: *whispers* Trixie, you're gonna have to go down now, why won't you go down! *louder* go down dammit!

Rage grips the neck of Trixie and begins to panicly shake his latex lovely

Rage: For godsake just go down!

Maria comes ot of the bathroom

Rage: For the love of god please just go down!

Maria: Aaaaaaah! Aye carumba!

Rage looks round to see Maria standing in the doorway, he suddenly realises how his situation looks as he is sat straddled over his 'friend' with his hands around the throat

Maria: Murderer! Murderer!

Rage: Nooo, wait!

Maria runs out of the door screaming!

Rage: It's not what it looks like! honest! She's not real! look!

Rage presents Trixie and proceeds to beat the floor with Trixie to prove she is not real but Maria is too busy running to take note

Rage: Wait, aren't you going to service me, uh, my room?

Trixie: ..............

*wakes up*

Rage: huh? whoa! thank god that was only a dream!

*mops brow*

*deep manly voice* Good morning Mr Ragebowski, I now know why they call you the BIG Ragebowski! You're simply Ravishing!

Rage looks to left

Rage: Huh? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

*camera fades*

Ignavus
2005-03-13, 12:57 AM
OOC - I cannot stress how awesome you are, oh almighty Rage. Have my children?