PDA

View Full Version : GI Joe = rubbish [no spoilers yet]


Halfshell
2009-08-07, 08:33 PM
But quite possibly fantastic rubbish.

Awful dialogue, glaring plot-holes, terrible CGI. And a toy advert as part of the pre-film ad-reel - something not even Transformers stooped to.

Several characters completely had the point missed, but the reaction of the people who'd clearly gone to see a Steve Sommers movie affirms the notion that [GI] Joe public don't care, and that's fair enough.

Still, Rachel Nichols.

Annoyed I didn't recognise JGL in his other role, so that was twisty.

... what forum does this belong in? Toys? Other animation? GD? News and Barcodes?

tahukanuva
2009-08-08, 03:57 AM
I really quite enjoyed it. Went into it with the same expectations as Transformers One, (Expecting terrible, hoping to be surprised). I got terrible. Lots of terrible. But it was mixed with a buttload of awesome (and Baroness. Mmm.) that completely made up for it. Definitely looking forward to the sequel.

Also, the explanation for Snake Eyes' silence? Possible the most awkwardly placed bit of exposition ever.

CounterPunch
2009-08-08, 11:03 AM
It looks so dreadful, I can't see how this wont be the worst "blockbuster" of the year, I mean come on... In the latest trailer I've seen they use 'American Badass ' by Kid Rock, just not cool. My only hope is that the scenes with Snake Eyes are decent... are they?

Blackjack
2009-08-08, 01:34 PM
The conclusion is too abrupt, methinks. It goes... oh wait, no spoilers. Bummer.

My regret is that they didn't shoe-horn more characters in. With Transformers it could be passed for the expensiveness and troublesomeness of animating CGI, but really. They should've added more background characters, just for the sake of the fans.

Yeah, Snake-Eyes' silence explanation is very awkward.

inflatable dalek
2009-08-08, 02:26 PM
Jonathan Pryce!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A nice follow up to me watching Escape From New York, the other great film with a English American President in it.

This was brilliant, completely stupidly daft in every way (especially in the physics of the underwater battle, which is just played as the end of Return of the Jedi with submarines) but unashamedly enjoyable for it. I suspect it really needs to be seen with a big crowd, sadly my screening was nearly empty in the middle of a Saturday afternoon. Hopefully that's the weather keeping peeps out rather than brand apathy outside of America, this deserves to be a big hit.



SPOILERS FROM HERE ON IN YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED PEOPLE.














I must admit to spending most of the film thinking Tommy (who for some reason I recognised under latex and a mask but not in the "normal" flashbacks) was playing Doctor Mindbender rather than Cobra Commander as I thought I'd read, so that was a bit unexpected at the end. I did however think the ending was a little bit silly. "HAHAHAHAHA! Here's your battle mask, you're now called Destro, Cobra will now rise! call me Commander!" "You're under arrest" "Bugger". On the plus side if neither Tommy nor Eccles return for the sequel it'll be a piece of piss to recast.

Zartan was interesting, in that they had two choices, to cast a really great character actor who, with the aid of make up, can genuinely create different foolproof disguises. Or, the cast the Mummy and have him mostly impersonate big bald men (apart from the end of course). Pulling a cap down over your eyes hardly makes you a master of disguise.

There was a mime artist in the Paris sequence! No cliché left unturned. [There was what looked like a London bus in the distance of one shot as well oddly enough, some sort of big red truck?]

Strangeness:They make a heavy foreshadowing moment of Storm Shadow not killing women that doesn't get paid off on. Why are the Cobra lackeys wearing NexGen movie Starfleet uniforms? How fast can Hawk recover from near fatal wounds (it goes from "He's in a coma" to in a wheelchair to running about his command base in about five minuets). What if Destro or Cobra Commander need the loo whilst they're in that X-Men style floating cell? Why does the French guy ask the French anti-terrorist squad not to touch his stuff in English? Was the Baron being called DeCobra a coincidence or was it that when Rex (great first name for him) saw it he knew he just had to involve him somehow?

Halfshell
2009-08-08, 02:42 PM
Why does the French guy ask the French anti-terrorist squad not to touch his stuff in English?

Same reason he's banned from ever returning to France, then recalled by his home government! Maybe he's Tunisian. Or from Quebec.

Why is there only one guard patrolling the entire Joe base? Why do Duke and Ripcord have silly codenames despite not being part of the unit yet? Why does Hawk have a codename that Duke already knows yet goes to the bother of introducing himself with his real name? Why invite them in, show them around, tell them the place doesn't exist, and then say they're not being allowed to join - though the answer to that probably lies in the one guard question, as they seemingly have no security cameras either.

The Hard Master telling Storm Shadow to be polite and speak in English - solely because it's an English language film!

Not keen on the Baroness being brainwashed, nor why her brother decided to be evil just because he saw some shiny new tech. But yeah, the whole "this is my new mask, call me commander muwahahaha - BAM I'M IN JAIL" thing was just bizarre.

I liked that they went to the hassle of having a pre-credits flashback to include the guy who was originally playing Destro, only to then cover the same plot points in exposition, then not even use the mask at all.

Some nice little touches, though - Breaker wanting bubble gum, Roadblock Heavy Duty's earring, refusing to show Zartan as Pryce in the bunker despite it being insanely obvious. Some of the nationality changes grated, but are understandable from a marketability perspective... the Baroness without ze comedy accent was just wrong, though.

I'm actually tempted to go and watch it again, just for kicks.

inflatable dalek
2009-08-08, 02:56 PM
Why do Duke and Ripcord have silly codenames despite not being part of the unit yet?

I can buy them having silly nicknames everyone knows them by. But then making their top secret identity protecting code names the same was daft.


The Hard Master telling Storm Shadow to be polite and speak in English - solely because it's an English language film!

And impressively he does it before Snake Eyes shows he only speaks English (which i don't think was every explained was it?). That whole sequence felt more like a secret origin for Splinter and Shredder to be honest.

Not keen on the Baroness being brainwashed, nor why her brother decided to be evil just because he saw some shiny new tech. But yeah, the whole "this is my new mask, call me commander muwahahaha - BAM I'M IN JAIL" thing was just bizarre.

I see they left it open for her to go evil again at the end as well. I'm guessing what was supposed to send Rex over the edge was the shelter getting bombed sooner than the five minuet deadline. Though the fact the bombers coming early didn't get mentioned again kinda buried it. Plus the flashback inside the bunker seemed much longer than the flashback outside the bunker...

Some of the nationality changes grated, but are understandable from a marketability perspective... the Baroness without ze comedy accent was just wrong, though.

Luckily I'm not nearly familiar enough with the source material to spot most of the changes/homages apart from the really obvious ones so most of it was over my head.

Considering the rumblings about the possibility of a Joe/Transformers crossover at some point (even if just from IDW) I thought it was interesting the film effectively shot any chance of a shared Universe down by showing the Pyramids all fine and dandy. Unless in the near future they have really fantastic monument restoration skills (which would come in handy for Paris).

RID Scourge
2009-08-09, 02:14 AM
I enjoyed it. Lots of action. :up:

Same reason he's banned from ever returning to France, then recalled by his home government! Maybe he's Tunisian. Or from Quebec.

Moroccan.