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Old 2015-02-22, 11:22 PM   #14
Terome
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I wandered over to the esteemed Seibertron.com and as I read the discussion there, these words slowly materialised on the wall in blood:

Manchildren confused by children's television programme

Transformers: Robots In Disguise is the franchise's latest cartoon show aimed at the 9-12 year old boy market. It premiered yesterday on Cartoon Network and was praised for its colourful, dynamic animation and lively action sequences. A team of Autobots protect Earth against the destructive actions of the Decepticons.

"My favourite is Sideswipe," said one ten year old boy. Sideswipe is the young, rebellious new recruit to the team. "I don't have his toy but he's a really cool red sports car. I saw it in Tesco."

Of course, no Transformers programme would be complete unless it launched alongside a solid wall of merchandise. Front and centre is Bumblebee, the beloved silent mascot of the previous series who has now landed a starring role.
"I've got three Bumblebees," said a seven year old girl. "He's funny. He talks now."

And where does that leave Optimus Prime, the sage-like father figure who is the indelible face of the franchise? In the last series, Transformers: Prime, Optimus sacrificed himself for the greater good. But nothing can keep Optimus Prime from the front lines (and toy shelves!) forever: he appears in Robots In Disguise as Bumblebee's spirit guide in the manner of Obi Wan Kenobi.

Rounding out the cast is Grimlock, a loveable rouge who turns into a menacing T-rex.
"He's a dinosaur!" said the target market.

Manchildren, however, were less pleased. One remarked, on-line, "Why does Sideswipe never once reference the important mission he went on in a computer game I played in 2012?"
"And why is Bumblebee the leader now," asked another before answering his own rhetorical hook thus - "I'll tell you why, it's so Hasbro can cram a million Bumblebee toys down our throat. Why do they do us, none of us like Bumblebee!"

As for the return of Optimus Prime, this series of Tweets from a manchild sparked a spirited discussion: "This series is dead to me after what they did with [Optimus] Prime in The Covenant" [of Primus, a high-priced book aimed at older audiences containing unused backstory concepts for the previous Transformers series]. "Can't relate to [Optimus] Prime as unkillable ghost member of [The Thirteen] like I could when he was an unkillable ghost just because"

Even the winning combination of giant robot and dinosaur could not win over the manchildren. An extract of a 60 000 word suicide note had this to say:
"Grimlock is completely at odds with his previous characterisation in the RoD comics. This will mess up the Wiki, a fan-run database I consider to be more worthwhile than the media it joylessly catalogues. I feel that in this dark post-Animated world we will not be blessed with an elaborate and unnecessary series of guide books that fits everything nicely into place and we will be forever exposed to a world that contains contradiction, subtlety and disorder."

Transformers: Robots In Disguise begins today on Cartoon Network and will be forgotten by everyone in under two years.
 
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