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Old 2017-02-19, 04:40 PM   #1
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Talking So I just rewatched the 1986 Transformers Movie...

Man, I forgot how much iconic scenes this thirty-year-old movie had.

I mean, you'd think all the Dreamwave and IDW regurgitation of every single scene in the movie over the past decade would make me forget, but a couple of years of not touching a single Transformers comic (and IDW's later material had shied away from TFTM references anyway) has kind of wiped the slate clean somewhat.

I know what happens in the movie, of course -- what self-respecting Transformers fan doesn't? But I don't think I've watched the entire movie in a single sitting, just bits and pieces of it over the years.

I'd imagine it would be probably a very strange time in 1986 to be watching that movie, though, to have almost the entirety of the cast of the cartoon/comic you've been following for two years suddenly either get killed or shoved into the background... only the Dinobots and Perceptor hang out with the main cast out of the old main characters, while everyone else is a new character. Honestly, I'm not sure why people don't hate the '86 cast on principle. I read the comics first before getting introduced to the cartoon continuity so I wasn't super-shocked, but you'd think having literally the entire cast of the cartoon you're excited to see the movie for getting absolutely massacred in one way or another (Optimus, Megatron, Starscream, Ironhide, Brawn and half the season one cast die, and there's a point where it looks like Jazz, Cliffjumper, Spike and Bumblebee bit the dust too).

I mean, the plot just has us run from one locale to the next, following loosely-interconnected, vaguely Star-Wars-inspired cool action scenes as everyone scrambles for the magic disco ball that solves everything, the cool side characters doing next to nothing (what is the point of Springer or Blurr in the movie even?), while the irritating ones -- freaking Daniel -- keep showing up in every scene. Galvatron's got a very cool Leonard Nimoy voice, though not having him screaming every line and shooting Cyclonus in the face every second scene is a bit jarring. Season 3 Galvatron is definitely far more superior to Movie Galvatron, I'm afraid.

Hot Rod's honestly very boring all throughout -- I don't think it's until the cartoon's third season or the comics that Hot Rod actually becomes interesting. He's at least inoffensive, though, and Kup's a very nice old dude to bounce dialogue off of. The likes of Springer, Magnus, Arcee et cetera do a lot less than I remember them doing, actually, and after their huge intros neither Wheelie nor Wreck-Gar really do much. Also, man, I totally forgot how much of a doofus cartoon Grimlock is.

Random rock music showing up every two scenes or so and taking up a small chunk of the scene is a bit odd, though it's part of the 80's package? The Touch still fits the movie well, as corny as it can be. I'm not sure the simple scene of Hot Rod driving up to Lookout Point deserves a whole rock music sequence, though.

Also, shit, TFTM suffers from a lot of the same problems that Revenge of the Fallen is accused for, actually -- inconsistent plot only salvaged by good action scenes; cool side characters introduced and then doing nothing; randomly jumping across the world; main villain (Unicron/Fallen) is bland, needlessly cryptic and gets killed very quickly with a plot device; secondary villain (Galvatron/Megatron) is just strung along by the main villain is more of a glorified thug with a cool voice; Cyclonus and Scourge have as much personality in the movie as freaking Long Haul does; Blurr and Springer have as much personality as Movie Sideswipe or Ratchet do; Daniel is as irritating and ever-present as the Twins; the entire movie just hinges on getting the plot device that everyone runs around trying to get; Jolt is equivalent to Snarl, elusively disappearing and reappearing; Optimus Prime takes on an army of Decepticons before dying; the plot device randomly giving a power-up that wins the day... hell, you even have Spike doing some unnecessary swearing. Though I guess TFTM doesn't quite have robot testicles, so it wins on that part.

Ahem. Where was I? Ah, yes, TFTM. Definitely had a fun time rewatching this -- the battle at Autobot City is still I think the best part, with it being fast-paced and having a lot of pretty awesome set pieces. The rest of the movie dragged on a lot until Unicron attacks Cybertron, with the scenes of them shooting each other in space, and the whole Junk stuff being the weaker parts of the movie. I have no idea why I like the Quintessa scenes (sans Wheelie) so much, but I do.

There's no way in hell I'm rewatching G1, not without getting severely inebriated beforehand, but TFTM's a decent hour and a half to burn. A pretty messy movie, yes, but definitely enjoyable.

Last edited by Blackjack; 2017-02-19 at 05:39 PM.
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