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Old 2017-09-03, 10:09 PM   #20
Cliffjumper
Cellar Door
 
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Red face Wait, there's not even a Last Knight thread? WAIT THERE IS

It was pretty lousy, though, wasn't it? Like all the worst bits from the first four just thrown up there. Even I wasn't that crazy about it TBH. Marky Mark was still Marky Mark enough to Marky Mark, the DJD spoof was genuinely hilarious and it was nice to see that Roadbuster and Topspin just ****ed off and left Leadfoot to die but wow, a mess. Though I did like the way they didn't actually junk the doomy possibilities left at the end of AoE; it's almost like that was done on purpose.

I absolutely absolutely hate that kind of secret history bullshit, the whole "Oh yah you know how you never saw Bumblebee come to Earth even though it was heavily implied by basically everything he did that he had well surprise he was in World War 2 and there are all these other Transformers kicking around and they just did **** all while Megatron was scouring the Earth in the second one". Hate it.

Whole Optimus plotline was screwed. He's talked over to Unicron in five seconds and talked back out in five more. After a good set of well-written Autobots in 4 it's back to everyone bar Bumblebee and Optimus ****ing off with the added twist of Optimus also ****ing off. And the numerous Autobots who seemingly just sit this one out was... weird. Not sure about it; bit of a shame we didn't have a genuine face arguing their case. It felt like any minute now the Cuba thing was going to kick into the main plot.

Cogman was shit, boring battle butler cliche, like Willikins in that shit Terry Pratchett book. Anthony Hopkins wasn't the funny sort of bad either, more the kind of "when is this overrated **** going to just **** off and retire and let someone else do this rubbish", i.e. the same thing he's done since about 1995 - Look At Me I'm Anthony ****ing Sir Hopkins And I'm Turning Up In This Prole Film For The Proles With My Superior ****ing Attitude.

Hilariously bad attempt to disguise the actress playing Tessa pegging it. Just say she's in hiding somewhere and be done with it, don't come up with some idiocy about how she's sitting down for her exams a few states over from a ****ing robot war without anyone going "hey, you know the guy we're after who'll do anything for his daughter? Why don't we, like, make some use of that?".

EDIT: Looking at the box office it's not *that* bad, is it?
 

Last edited by Cliffjumper; 2017-09-03 at 11:58 PM.
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