TFARCHIVE FORUMS

Gallic Wars: Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered, by of all things, an Italian.
Hundred Years War: Mostly lost. Saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."
Italian Wars: Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.
Wars of Religion: France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots.
Thirty Years War: France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.
War of Devolution: Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.
The Dutch War: Tied
War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War: Lost. But claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.
War of the Spanish Succession: Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlboro, which they have loved every since.
American Revolution: In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."
French Revolution: Won. Primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.
The Napoleonic Wars: Lost. Temporary victories due to leadership of a Corsican (remember the First Rule!), who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.
The Franco-Prussian War: Lost. France first plays the role of ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night to Germany's horny drunken Frat boy.
World War I: Tied and on the way to losing. France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.
World War II: Lost. France becomes a Nazi speed bump. Liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.
War in Indochina: Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu.
Algerian Rebellion: Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turk Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.
War on Terrorism: France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be on the safe side. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's

Originally posted by CloudStrifer
Hundred Years War: Mostly lost. Saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."

American Revolution: In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."
French Revolution: Won. Primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.
The Napoleonic Wars: Lost. Temporary victories due to leadership of a Corsican (remember the First Rule!), who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

Algerian Rebellion: Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turk Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.
War on Terrorism: France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be on the safe side. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's

HAHAHA!! *ahem* I mean, that's mean dude. I'd actually like to see someone from France reply just to get the opposing point of view...

**dejavous**

French Revolution: Won. Primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

This was the best quote ever.

also pretty inacurate

****, am I going to have to dig out the stuff about the Free French in WW2 again because someone's reposted that ****?

It doesn't mention the fact that Churchill sank a dozen french warships, killing around 3000, because they wouldn't turn them over to the RN without confirmation from commanders.

Or the amount of resistance fighters executed by the Gestapo.

Or the lives of British, American and other Commonwealth pilots saved by the reistance.

Or ****ing D-Day.

To quasi-quote Strafe, why mock one individual when you can paint an entire country with one big fat brush?

Originally posted by Cliffjumper
****, am I going to have to dig out the stuff about the Free French in WW2 again because someone's reposted that ****?

It doesn't mention the fact that Churchill sank a dozen french warships, killing around 3000, because they wouldn't turn them over to the RN without confirmation from commanders.

Or the amount of resistance fighters executed by the Gestapo.

Or the lives of British, American and other Commonwealth pilots saved by the reistance.

Or ****ing D-Day.

To quasi-quote Strafe, why mock one individual when you can paint an entire country with one big fat brush?

It's a joke dude settle down. I don't remember you getting this hostile when G91 posted this. And If a recall Galvy's was longer.

Originally posted by Blaster_86
It's a joke dude settle down. I don't remember you getting this hostile when G91 posted this. And If a recall Galvy's was longer.

Yeah, but the constant bashing of the French does tend to grate on the nerves after a while. Specially because there's no good reason for it. And mocking them during WW2, when they suffered the brunt of the Nazi attacks, when the US (which is where most of the bashing came from) remained completely untouched really gets on my left tit. I suspect that might be what Cliffy's annoyed about too.

-Ss

Its also not the only time this thing has come up or the only board its appeared on - it wasn't funny before, it wasn't true before and it certainly isn't now.

Originally posted by Blaster_86
It's a joke dude settle down. I don't remember you getting this hostile when G91 posted this. And If a recall Galvy's was longer.

How do you stop a Paki from drowning?

Take your foot off his head.

I've heard cunts say that's a joke. It probably is, in some twisted way. But is it actually somehting we should laugh at? No. Rascism's not acceptable whatever garnishing you add.

Originally posted by Cliffjumper
How do you stop a Paki from drowning?

Take your foot off his head.

I've heard cunts say that's a joke. It probably is, in some twisted way. But is it actually somehting we should laugh at? No. Rascism's not acceptable whatever garnishing you add.

I never said I laughed at it. I was just saying he didn't meant to offend anyone, well actually considering who it is maybe he did mean to offend in which case have at him.

I didn't mean to offend anyone, its just a joke on france's however complete history from Wargamming. You know the thing you play like risk? Thats well, a breif description of what happened at this game. I am truly sorry for that.

I find it very funny, period.

Originally posted by Sixswitch
And mocking them during WW2, when they suffered the brunt of the Nazi attacks, when the US (which is where most of the bashing came from) remained completely untouched really gets on my left tit.

In addition, I do laugh very loud about jokes on Poland, which suffered quite more under the pressure of our Wehrmacht and Storm troops.

And I do laugh very loud about Hollywood WW2 movies were they kill 1000 germans and only loose one GI, who dies tradically ouver 10 minutes where as our soldiers fall like unknown flies.

And I laugh about Hogan's Heroes which very greatly hits the nail on german burocracy and stubbornness of officers. Big fat german sergant but intelligent,cool, and funny allies who actually run the camp where as Germany suffered under the RAF and USAF terror bombing killing 600,000 civillians on purpose.

So what! If it is funny, I laugh, no matter what the history because noone has a clean white vest when it comes to war.

Originally posted by Getaway

Its also not the only time this thing has come up or the only board its appeared

So?
If you see Knight Rider, A-Team, Hogans Heros, or a Transformer episode on TV while sapping, you watch it for the 10th time if neccecary, because if is cool/funny.

Originally posted by Cliffy

No. Rascism's not acceptable whatever garnishing you add.

While the comment is true as it stands alone, this is hardly racism in any way.
A joke is always on someone's cost and you laugh about the obvious stupidity of that person or a misunderstanding in the story.... or it would not be joke.

Hogan's Heros and all the US **** war movies on Japanese or Germans would be racism in that case aswell.

Don't tell me you people don't have jokes on others like blacks, whites, hispanics, asian, handicapped, gay, .....

It is not something you tell in the public using speakers, but you all heard them here and there and laughed.

The point about it not being the first time its appeared is that it got this reaction last time, it was obviously going to get it again.

http://forums.tfarchive2.net/vBulletin/ ... ght=France

It seemed no one really cared till Sheba turned it into a Political thread last time.

Originally posted by Blaster_86
http://forums.tfarchive2.net/vBulletin/ ... ght=France

It seemed no one really cared till Sheba turned it into a Political thread last time.

You know Cliffy, you and I don't disagree often, but this time we do. I DID post this about God knows when, and I found it funny then. Its funny because lets face it, when it comes to military history the french just don't have a good track record. There's nothing racist about (especially since last time I checked we were the same race as the french) its knocking their ability to lead a military.

The bottom line is that it IS a joke, it IS meant to be funny and if you can't laugh at the French Military now, what can we laugh at? And if you think that I care one way or another if you guys can't lighten up you are all sadly mistaken. And finally, yes I am this big an asshole.

Originally posted by Galvatron91
And finally, yes I am this big an asshole.

So I can refer to you as asshole?

Oh BTW, I happen to agree with you. It's not rascist. It may not be accurate but it is funny, at least to me it is, it's fine if someone doesn't find it funny but it's not racially offensive, it's nationally offensive...

Originally posted by Hound
So I can refer to you as asshole?

most do...

Originally posted by Galvatron91
most do...

Don't listen to him, he's nice like a little teddy bear. Some of the stuff he talks about is just so cuuuute!

Originally posted by Blaster_86
Don't listen to him, he's nice like a little teddy bear. Some of the stuff he talks about is just so cuuuute!

you do realize i've killed for less...