Internet Bullying: 13-year-old hangs self after being made fun of on Bebo.

Chat about stuff other than Transformers.

Internet Bullying.

Threat.
6
50%
Not even on the radar.
3
25%
GTFO Dumbass.
3
25%
 
Total votes: 12

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secretcode
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Internet Bullying: 13-year-old hangs self after being made fun of on Bebo.

Post by secretcode »

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... music.html

I saw this article on everyone's favorite imageboard site and I was thinking how stupid some people can be, blaming internet bullying for an excuse on someone's death who was already mentally and socially disturbed. People are always looking for a scapegoat in life, refusing to take responsibility for something that might be their fault. What do you guys think? Is internet bullying a serious threat?
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Civ
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Post by Civ »

I'm not sure where you got the "mentally and socially disturbed" part. Particularly the mental. From what I read in that article, this kid was also bullied at his school and apparently, didn't tell his parents or anyone else how he felt about that. Why he didn't tell them, I don't know. Didn't say.

As far as internet bullying goes, I don't really understand that. I would think that since it is the internet, one could just hit the "Back" button and leave the twats where they are. Or since it's the internet, and assuming a degree of anonymity, why didn't he fire back? But I don't know all, if any, applicable psychological or other factors that may be involved in this case. As it stands now though, until I read something else, I'd be more worried about the real life bullying. Not sure the box idea mentioned is a good solution -- gut feeling says it isn't but I'd have to think about that some more for some concrete reasons.
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Post by Cliffjumper »

If you hang yourself over the internet, you are probably psychologically weak enough to do it over something else meaningless as well. TBH, I'd be happier if more of the idiots I dealt with hung themselves to prevent the chances of sperm donations tainting the genepool.

Also, what have we learnt about citing the Daily Mail?
'He was into his appearance and often wore his black skinny jeans. He was an alternative dresser and I think other teenagers did used to make comments about that.'
Anyone whose hobbies seem to include their appearance deserve anything they get.

People mocked me for my taste in music in Year 9, because I wasn't into the Outhere Brothers, All Saints, Oasis and REM. It happens in school. You either deal with it, or compromise who you are because some twat dislikes the music you like. Hanging yourself is a weakling's response.
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Denyer
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Post by Denyer »

The grieving mother blamed Bebo for Sam's 'utterly pointless death'
Person with lousy parenting skills and large family in which kid got ignored tries to shift blame. Film at eleven.
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Post by Zeeks »

My condolences to the family and friends of this child.
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Plasmodium
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Post by Plasmodium »

i told u i was hardcore
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secretcode
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Post by secretcode »

Denyer wrote:Person with lousy parenting skills and large family in which kid got ignored tries to shift blame. Film at eleven.
That's what I'm saying. I'm not agreeing with this article at all. Who cares if he was a "emo kid" or "alternative dresser" as they say. It doesn't matter at all. Internet Bullying isnt a threat at all either, as it's just a scapegoat for someone who doesn't want to take the responsibility (Video Games made me kill 20 people, etc) for their own actions. That may not make sense to some so let me rephrase that.

People shouldn't blame the media (internet, gaming, tv or music) for poor decisions or as Big D says, "lousy parenting skills" or shifting the blame to something else. The kid was probably weak mentally to kill himself over something said on the INTERNET. This is the same place where we laugh at funny cat pictures or see a girl and go "TITS OR GTFO"

Still though, Zeeks is right. A loss is a loss. And I know The Daily Mail isn't exactly the greatest source in the world Cliffy, but meh. "News" is news.

Anyway. This isn't even a damn threat at all. It's just grieving family blaming something that isn't even at fault.
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Post by Blaster »

Plasmodium wrote:i told u i was hardcore

Old joke is old. I don't even think Secretcode was old enough to look at the internet when that happened.
secretcode wrote:That's what I'm saying. I'm not agreeing with this article at all. Who cares if he was a "emo kid" or "alternative dresser" as they say. It doesn't matter at all. Internet Bullying isnt a threat at all either, as it's just a scapegoat for someone who doesn't want to take the responsibility (Video Games made me kill 20 people, etc) for their own actions. That may not make sense to some so let me rephrase that.
Internet bullying is a problem. It's a reason there are laws against it. Mentally weak or not, if something was said or done to him over the internet that hurt him and put him in a depressed state of mind, it is a problem.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Megan_Meier.

Anonymity with the knowledge of your attacker. You can say anything and everything you want to them, and until they hit block they have to take it.
secretcode wrote:People shouldn't blame the media (internet, gaming, tv or music) for poor decisions or as Big D says, "lousy parenting skills" or shifting the blame to something else. The kid was probably weak mentally to kill himself over something said on the INTERNET. This is the same place where we laugh at funny cat pictures or see a girl and go "TITS OR GTFO"
And in the latter situation, more often then not, the girl is in a place where she expects it, or should expect it and if she doesn't she may be retarded. Something said on the internet does not make it easier to swallow for some, especially those with low self-esteem or already suffering from depression.
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Post by secretcode »

>_>

I'm like 3 years younger then you... And I've had internet for about 9-10 years now...
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Post by Zeeks »

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Post by Denyer »

they acted as cowards
He's giving far too much credit to a gaggle of l33t wastes of space if he thought they'd have a grasp on a best course of action, decide it was real, and carry it out.
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Post by Chromia »

It sounds as though this kid already had problems. And as far as blaming a website?

Stupid. I'm a parent of 2 teen boys. I monitor what sites they're on as much as possible, and don't let them them spend all day on the net either.

Most people don't just 'commit suicide out of the blue'. Most of the time there are signs, but people, including parents ignore them.

Still, I do feel for the parents who have lost a child.....
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Post by *BARRAGE* »

i get being depressed from being bullied in real life- but online? STFU! get a different hobby...

and all emo bashing aside- there had to be signs- denyer's right- big family and noone noticed...

besides- suicide is the ultimate cop out... only the weak willed try suicide- those who realise that come back from the edge and become better people- those who don't are weeded out anyway...

it may sound as though i'm calous about this- but there was a time i considered it (being an overweight know it all loud mouth and such)- and almost did it, before realising that the only thing in this world with more control over me- other than myself- was the universe... and straight to hell with people that try and bring me down...

:cheers:
HE JUST WON'T STAY DEAD
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Post by Ackula »

Cliffjumper wrote:If you hang yourself over the internet, you are probably psychologically weak enough to do it over something else meaningless as well. TBH, I'd be happier if more of the idiots I dealt with hung themselves to prevent the chances of sperm donations tainting the genepool. Hanging yourself is a weakling's response.
Well played clerk. I'm going to go with Tom on this one. The reason the kid killed himself really does have no bearing on the fact that he did kill himself. You cannot really blame anyone or anything other than that person. He chose to take that action, and now he is paying for it. Social Darwinism wins out once again. End of the story.
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Post by Zeeks »

Blaster wrote: Internet bullying is a problem. It's a reason there are laws against it. Mentally weak or not, if something was said or done to him over the internet that hurt him and put him in a depressed state of mind, it is a problem.
It would be nice if more people realized this, because, regardless of the vehicle being used to deliver insulting, hurtful, and plain nasty commenting, the knowledge that there is still another human being behind their keyboard who is purposely behaving to insult another is what drives the point home. I don't care how tough or brave or indifferent you may think you are; if I call you an asshole, the feelings associated with that comment are going to affect you. And if you feel I am a coward because I happen to be a sensitive guy who does his best to *not* treat people like this and then have this kind of stuff directed towards me, then I wear the "coward" and "weakling" badges proudly.
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Post by Denyer »

Blaster wrote: until they hit block they have to take it
An entire two or three seconds, then.
Zeeks wrote:I don't care how tough or brave or indifferent you may think you are]
I'm glad you think you know people better than they know themselves. Possibly when I was a very wee nipper. At which time I had no business being on an internet connection that wasn't closely monitored by parents, and nor does any kid.

I'm not sure if Twain actually said it, as many quotes from him have been bastardised or misattributed, but trying to make the net as a whole a place suitable/safe for children is very much akin to his example of telling an adult they can't have a steak because a baby can't chew it.

The parents are incompetent and guilty of neglect, and comms tech shouldn't be treated as appliances like microwaves and fridges. Can't secure a network? Don't have one. Giving untrammeled web/IM access to a fourteen year old, without educating them? Don't try to shift blame, and don't be surprised if the only reason they don't meet up with random online people who turn out to be rapists and murderers is because they have more sense than their parents.

http://www.bebo.com/Search2.jsp?SearchTerm=sex
http://www.bebo.com/Search2.jsp?SearchTerm=bestiality
http://www.bebo.com/Search2.jsp?SearchTerm=rimming

^ Why does a 13-year-old have an account on Bebo? It's not as if they filter content. (Nor should they...)
Barrage wrote:only the weak willed try suicide
Depends on the rationale. As a cry for help, yes. Actually killing yourself, following through sans notes hoped to be found and blubbering takes a degree of will and it's a choice I support if people are resolved to it. Also, I have no intention of being kept alive just to salve other people's consciences.
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Post by Cliffjumper »

Zeeks wrote:I don't care how tough or brave or indifferent you may think you are; if I call you an asshole, the feelings associated with that comment are going to affect you.
Bullshit. I had a guy create a forum of several hundred posts to insult me. Water off a duck's back, really, the only emotion it stirred was pity for the guy being suck a cock...
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Post by Zeeks »

An entire two or three seconds, then.
...and in the mind of an extremely unstable mind, these 3 seconds can span a lifetime.
I'm glad you think you know people better than they know themselves.
I presume nothing other than basic human emotion. Granted, the statement is a bit sweeping now that I read it again, so for that, I am in error. However, the basis is the same: whether the child was being insulted online or "at the playground" or "on the bus", he was still being insulted. Did he invite the insult voluntarily? Who knows. Were the kids that were insulting him just seeing the many flaws and cracks of their own selves in this child and transferring the anger? Maybe, maybe not. Did the kid fight back? Dunno. Was the child affected by the insults? Obviously. Of course, that was unique to his perspective, and maybe, just maybe, he happens to be a sensitive kid like myself who was doing his damndest to do things right. If this is the case (which I will never "know") I sympathize with the position.

Whether a person is cogniscent of the effect or not, I lean towards the belief that harmful intent and words still have an effect. Perhaps, your unique sense of self would assimilate and process the feeling differently than I would. In that stance, yes, my sweeping comment is too categorical. Again, I erred. My apologies.

Stuart, I consider you an online friend. If I presented a view that you did not agree with and subsequently labelled me an asshole or twat or whatever because you did not agree with me, not only would I be offended, I would be hurt. Coming from a background (unique to my self) where I was constantly verbally berated for being "stupid" and told "you would **** up a wet dream" or "you aren't going to amount to shit in life" or "can't you do *anything* right?", one tends to actually start identifying with the statements that are said day in day out. It's a perspective people want to belong. They want to be part of something. They want to be *together*, part of something bigger than themselves. How can one "belong" if they are constantly being separated, either by word or action? Perhaps this is just another sweeping statement made in error. It's also the way I feel.
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Post by Denyer »

Zeeks wrote:Perhaps, your unique sense of self
I don't think I'm in any way unique in this respect. I don't try to play up to a particular image, but nor am I fussed if some people think I'm an asshole at times, friends or otherwise. If it's someone I know well things might get slightly more attention, but simply knowing people doesn't mean I'm going to fold and consider their opinion of a situation more justified than the one I'd arrived at.
If I presented a view that you did not agree with and subsequently labelled me an asshole or twat or whatever because you did not agree with me, not only would I be offended, I would be hurt.
I tend to get on better with people who'll tell me straight when I'm being an idiot, though that's less to do with differences of philosophy and more to do with practical things.
Stuart, I consider you an online friend.
Equally, I'm not fussed about people opting for my first name, but it does tend to make me wonder how much people who seem to use it as an implied familiarity actually know me.
Coming from a background (unique to my self) where I was constantly verbally berated for being "stupid" and told "you would **** up a wet dream" or "you aren't going to amount to shit in life" or "can't you do *anything* right?", one tends to actually start identifying with the statements that are said day in day out.
Wouldn't dispute. I think legislation is categorically the wrong way to deal with this, and that actually parenting and helping kids to build and integrate into positive support networks has to play a far larger part than attempts to pass the buck to social networking sites and already overreaching legal arms.

I'm not actually amongst the "yay, we lost a few morons" responses... although I agree with some who take that stance that they were one trigger away from another reason they'd have followed through. It's nice when people extend extra sympathy and understanding to others, but making not being (or pointed words via a remote pull mechanism) a matter of public prosecution is a very slippery slope.
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Post by Clay »

Denyer wrote:Equally, I'm not fussed about people opting for my first name, but it does tend to make me wonder how much people who seem to use it as an implied familiarity actually know me.
True, but we can't all have last names that are cooler than our first names, so it's not a typical mindset that someone prefers their surname.
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