You think your relationship's got problems?

Chat about stuff other than Transformers.
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Dead Man Wade
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You think your relationship's got problems?

Post by Dead Man Wade »

I've been friends with this guy (we'll call him Steve) for about 18 years now. We work together, we hang out constantly, etc. He's like a brother to me.

Well, a few months back, he started dating this girl (we'll call her The Unholy She-Bitch), and quickly developed strong feelings for her, despite her more repellant qualities. After a very short amount of time, he moved in with her, at which point she quickly began dominating his entire life. She told him she refused to have video games in her home, as they were a waste of time, and got pissed whenever she found out he'd been playing them elsewhere. She got angry every time he did anything without so much as a "By your leave..."

Now, by way of background (and to make it abundantly clear that, despite my less than warm feelings for her, she does have reasons for doing the things she does), The USB is in her early twenties, and incredibly....financially secure. She owns a lot of real estate, and doesn't really have to worry about where her next anything's coming from. So, obviously, her way of doing things has worked incredibly well. For her.

Shortly after they started dating, The USB decided she was going to take Steve to Las Vegas for Valentine's Day to see Elton John, as he's a huge fan. However, Valentine's Day was a no go, as Sir Elton was apparently on hiatus for a while, so the whole thing was pushed back to Steve's Birthday.

A few weeks ago, Steve and the USB started having problems. Shockingly, having moved in together only a short time after beginning the relationship, the close proximity began to grate on them both. Things got progressively worse, until Steve was eventually kicked out. He's since been sleeping on people's couches in the hopes that they will be reconciled.

In spite of all of this, plans for the trip to Vegas proceeded, as Steve and the USB tried to work out their differences. Finally, on Tuesday, they boarded a plane and flew to Vegas.

Today, I arrived at work and was informed that, not only had they broken up a day into the trip, but that she had kicked him out of the hotel room. Since then, I and several other people have been in contact with Steve throughout the day, trying to figure out what to do. Fortunately, he's moved up his departure, so he'll be flying back tomorrow (if, that is, the USB's refusal to give him the confirmation number doesn't cause to many problems). However, while he has the cash to pay for a hotel room, he doesn't have a credit card with him, and that has proven to be a major stumbling block in trying to find a place to sleep.

Finally, it seems it has become necessary for him to take a shuttle to the airport and just sleep there, which, while hardly ideal, is certainly better than wandering the streets of Vegas all night.

Needless to say, if and when I see the USB again, it will be all I can do to avoid beating the ever-loving s*** out of her.
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another tf fan
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Post by another tf fan »

Sounds to me like Steve has something to learn from this mistake.

If you can, keep a leash on Steve long enough for his feelings for USB to subside.
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Sixswitch
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Post by Sixswitch »

Yep I agree. Steve seems a bit of a dreamer to be honest. Who the hell goes to Las Vegas and doesn't take a credit/debit card?

Obviously in the grand scheme of things, it's a small thing to pick up on, but I think it justifies me calling him a 'dreamer' rather well.

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TSFC
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Post by TSFC »

It's not right for a man to hit a woman, but there's nothing in the rules that stops another woman from stomping her ass. Find a bunch of your female friends and have 'em work her over. :-D
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RID Scourge
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Post by RID Scourge »

Wow, from the second paragraph, I could tell it was a bad relationship.
Originally posted by TSFC
It's not right for a man to hit a woman


While I usually agree, it sounds like this one needs to be smacked around a bit, as she obviously doesn't know how to treat a guy.

BTW, is anyone reading "financially secure" as spoiled, rich whore?
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Post by Cliffjumper »

Originally posted by TSFC
It's not right for a man to hit a woman


Sexual equality isn't just the good stuff; I'd just as readily hit a woman as I'd hit anyone else (i.e. in self-defence, or defending someone else)...
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Post by inflatable dalek »

Or if she was that you are what you eat woman.
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Ice Shard
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Post by Ice Shard »

bad relationship there.i never know what to say.. but erm.. poor guy get the girl some 'how to treat a guy' lessons
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Clogs
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Post by Clogs »

She's a real ladydog. No doubt she's played this one before.

It's Steve who should be slapped, bless him, to wake him up. He's gotten stomped on, chewed up and chucked out TWICE. I do so hope he isn't looking for any kind of further reconciliation with the USB, but he might have it bad and it can be blind.

This is going to be a hard one to get over. Dead Man Wade, he's going to need to lean on that 18 year friendship.
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Post by Jaynz »

Sounds like one of my ex step-mothers, except the age thing. There's a lot of personal experience I could give, and a lot of amateur psycho-analysis I could give - but I'll spare everyone both for once.

Do what you can to get the guy back 'home' (not the woman's house, of course, just someplace he can stay). Maybe an unattached bud can offer a roomate situation for the time being, while Steve gets his things and affairs in order?
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Post by Cliffjumper »

Originally posted by TFVanguard
Do what you can to get the guy back 'home' (not the woman's house, of course, just someplace he can stay).


Or, y'know, get him to that place, burn all her stuff and change the locks.
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Post by Jaynz »

Originally posted by Cliffjumper
Or, y'know, get him to that place, burn all her stuff and change the locks.


So she could get him arrested, sue him, and have her get 1/2 his stuff and money for the rest of his life? Bad karma, jass?
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Post by Cliffjumper »

Originally posted by TFVanguard
So she could get him arrested, sue him, and have her get 1/2 his stuff and money for the rest of his life? Bad karma, jass?


Because it was a deadly serious comment and all.
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Post by Jaynz »

Originally posted by Cliffjumper
Because it was a deadly serious comment and all.


Yeah, but you have to keep in mind, I know and know of a large number of people that really would, and have, done exactly that sort of thing.

Makes ya jaded in life, it does.
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Dead Man Wade
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Post by Dead Man Wade »

Originally posted by Clogs
It's Steve who should be slapped, bless him, to wake him up.


Oh, trust me. I'm planning on it.

As for a reconciliation, there's obviously no chance, and he's certainly not planning on trying.

But, wait! It gets better!

I got a call from him today, and, apparently, he's been arrested. So, now, I get to somehow wrangle $1200 to bail him out.
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Post by Cliffjumper »

Originally posted by TFVanguard
you have to keep in mind


Why do I have to keep in mind what's happened to you? I'm guessing DMW is sharp enough not to take everything I say at face value, and he's the one who posted the topic... unless you have exactly the same situation happening right now this minute, I fail to see where some people you know amble into this.
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Post by RID Scourge »

Originally posted by Dead Man Wade
I got a call from him today, and, apparently, he's been arrested. So, now, I get to somehow wrangle $1200 to bail him out.


S***, dude. Did she have anything to do with that?
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Post by Hound »

Originally posted by Dead Man Wade
I got a call from him today, and, apparently, he's been arrested. So, now, I get to somehow wrangle $1200 to bail him out.
What the ****?!?!!!
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Ice Shard
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Post by Ice Shard »

Originally posted by Dead Man Wade
So, now, I get to somehow wrangle $1200 to bail him out.


that sucks. how'd he get in there? poor dude
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Post by another tf fan »

I know he's your friend, maybe he's going through a rough spell...

But is this a sign of an over-all problem?

He keeps making bad decision after bad decision. Giving him 1200 bucks may be money wasted.


Please understand, I am generally biased to a guy's perspective. I have no doubts "financially secure" = Daddy left her a ton of money. That doesn't excuse Steve. He needs the slapping of a lifetime.

We don't live in fairytale land, no one gives away trips to Vegas with out strings attached. Strings, that it seems, Steve had subconscious reasons to break.
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