The ultimate question

Cliffjumper · Post by **Cliffjumper** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 6:40 pm

Well?

StoneCold Skywarp · Post by **StoneCold Skywarp** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 6:41 pm

uphill or downhill ?

Post by **inflatable dalek** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 6:51 pm

Both would beat Heather Mill McCartney hands down.

Post by **Denyer** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 6:55 pm

Once you're moving on a bike, keeping it going's less work than running. Unless you're on, say, a 30 degree gradient...

Post by **inflatable dalek** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 6:58 pm

Originally posted by Denyer
Once you're moving on a bike, keeping it going's less work than running. Unless you're on, say, a 30 degree gradient...

But it would take colonel fatty a real effort to get the bike going in the first place. The tall dark and devilishly handsome thin guy (no bias here) could be at fatty's home with his wife shaging the living daylights out of her before Plumpso even gets going.

optihut · Post by **optihut** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 7:08 pm

It depends on how long the race is. Kinda like that VW Beetle outrunning the plane - if it's a short race, the skinny runner wins, if it's somewhat longer (say 2 km) then the bike dude wins.

Cliffjumper · Post by **Cliffjumper** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 7:08 pm

Race is 200m on flat tarmac. Both are wearing shellsuits and big 1980s trainers (with undone laces). This sort of stuff should be obvious.

Post by **inflatable dalek** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 7:14 pm

Originally posted by Cliffjumper
Race is 200m on flat tarmac.

But is it the black tarmac or the more greyey sort? That's the important info!

Post by **Hound** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 8:23 pm

I'll tell ya, no matter what, that bike is the real loser...

Cliffjumper · Post by **Cliffjumper** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 8:25 pm

Why are you all voting for the fat bloke?

FAT BASTARD + Shellsuit + Laces catching in chain = slowness.

Post by **inflatable dalek** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 8:32 pm

Because the British love a losser? Ie, Eddie the Eggle, Scott of the Antartic (better remembered than the guy who managed to go to the Pole without dying) and Willian Haige?

Post by **Hound** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 8:43 pm

Originally posted by Cliffjumper
Why are you all voting for the fat bloke?

FAT BASTARD + Shellsuit + Laces catching in chain = slowness.

Laces untied means the thin bloke's going trip and fall on his chin, he'll be lucky if he even finishes the race.

Cliffjumper · Post by **Cliffjumper** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 8:55 pm

Originally posted by Hound
Laces untied means the thin bloke's going trip and fall on his chin, he'll be lucky if he even finishes the race.

The thin bloke can reach down and tie the laces, still having ample time to stroll to the finish while fatty bakes and expires in his shellsuit. Chubster doesn't even know he has feet.

EDIT: With that filter, Mirage looks well evil in my sig :\

Post by **inflatable dalek** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 8:58 pm

No doubt if he's ever reissued he'll be E-Hobby Black Mother****er Mirage.

Dead Man Wade · Post by **Dead Man Wade** » Sun Sep 24, 2006 4:29 am

Conditions are irrelevant. History (and Comedy Central) has proven time and again that a fat person in any sort of physically demanding situation is going to lead to hilariously disastrous results.

Thin bloke for the win.

Hawkeye · Post by **Hawkeye** » Sun Sep 24, 2006 4:59 am

with enough prep time batman can beat anyone. opps wrong forum.

Post by **inflatable dalek** » Mon Sep 25, 2006 2:11 pm

Originally posted by Hawkeye
with enough prep time batman can beat anyone. opps wrong forum.

Motormaster could beat Batman.

And Batman would like it.

Clogs · Post by **Clogs** » Mon Sep 25, 2006 5:13 pm

Well, providing the fat bloke hasn't borrowed my huge, old-fashioned Hercules, I'm going to assume that the bike collapses, he can't get up (shell suit and untied laces) and expires miserably of heat exhaustion. Thin guy wins at a slow amble, taking all necessary precautions to avoid tripping over.

This scenario does not, of course, apply to humous village policemen.

slartibartfast · Post by **slartibartfast** » Mon Sep 25, 2006 5:27 pm

... sorry, i just had a mental picture of a humous policeman

Clogs · Post by **Clogs** » Mon Sep 25, 2006 10:24 pm

Drat. Double drat. I hate dyslexia (and, funnily enough, I can spell that). Thought it looked right.

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The ultimate question

WHO WOULD WIN IN A RACE?

The ultimate question