Without a doubt, the worst movie I ever saw :(

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UAFcommander
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Without a doubt, the worst movie I ever saw :(

Post by UAFcommander »

Sorry, but that's the short version of it. The worst movie I ever saw.

**Warning, spoilers**


1) The move plot was pathetic to non-existent, hard to say which is best. The "Cube"? Come on...
Then we find out that Megatron's navigation system put his coordinates on, wait for it, a pair of glasses! Wow, plot twist!
So the Decepticon hack into the US database to find out where Sam lives, after they've found out about the glasses on E.Bay.
Yes, it is a well known fact that only the US database can hack E.Bay. Oh, and while they're there maybe it'll be a good idea to put in a virus.
Oh, this brings us to the annalists. While completely unneeded, they also showed amazing ability to tell stuff by looking at sound. And of course that a group of kids and students is what required to solve it. Especially "the best hacker in the world", the comic-break pathetic stereotypical black guy. Just so we'll have some new-age racism, can't do without it...
But we're PC in this movie, the girl had Australian accent.

In the meantime Bumblebee already found Sam, and forces himself into being his car in scene that attempts to be funny yet again (and still fails!). I didn't know this is Transformers:The Comedy.
Of course, he won't call the other autobots or tell Sam that he needs the glasses, he'll waste time in more and more "funny" scenes that "develop" Sam's character in the direction we already know - he is a clumsy pathetic teenager. I do hope no one in the audience identified with him...

Meanwhile the Decepticons get close to Sam, by another hacking scene, half decent at best, with that little tape-con of them that tries to be cool and... you guessed it - funny, at the same time. Head butting the computer if no one remembers. Ha ha.

So now, finally, Bumblebee has to act and call the other autobots. Oh and barricade say his movie lines. What a memorable moment, "Are you username Ladiesman2457?" and "Where are the glasses?" (Forgive me if I don't remember Sam's username correctly). Truly amazing lines, no wonder they didn't give him any more in the movie.

A little battle scene here. Bumblebee is fighting Barricade, so of course we won't see any of that. Instead we'll see the nameless tape-con fighting Sam. And looses...

So now the Autobots come, killing a few humans while crashing down, hiding behind trees so people won't see them, and get to Sam.
Then they introduce themselves, showing themselves to be stupid, tactless, and worthy to die (unfortunately only Jazz got what he deserved, but from the 5 of them he defiantly deserved it the most). They explained half of the movie plot, and go to search Sam's house for the glasses.
Sam, of course, believes every word without the slightest doubt in his mind.

Ah, the search scene, I felt so humiliated during it that only one other scene managed to make me feel worse (I bet you can guess which). Sam searches his room, lots of American pie jokes with the parents, ha-ha ("Why am I here?" goes through my mind). A lot of damn stupid jokes with Optimus and the Autobots. Oh, how funny it was when Prime stepped on the fountain, how amused I was when they all hide around the house as Sam's father looked out of the window. Ahahaha. Yes indeed, ahahaha. Very fitting for a Transformers movie. Really shows their characters too.



Ok, I can go on and on, but I'm sick of it, so I'll be brief from here:

Sector 7 - a bunch of idiots led by a lunatic. Haha, amusing undergarments, and the most humiliating highlight of the entire movie - Bumblebee peeing on someone. YES! That is what I've been looking for in a Transformers movie! Truly something every kid man and women around the world should see.

Bumblebee captured, Optimus messes up and the kids get captured, Optimus tell us the rest of the plot ("I will shove the Cube into my chest and save us all by sacrificing myself" -"No prime, don't do it you will die" -"That's the point you idiot, I'm a noble self sacrificing hero!").
A Nokia commercial (Only one as blunt was the E.Bay one), yada yada yada that I don't feel like replaying in my mind anymore.

The fighting scenes were bad, when you show giant ugly robots fight you shouldn't zoom so close that the viewers will never see anything but metallic tubes...
Whoever decided on the camera position and angel should be fired immediately (And that's good compared to the script writers that should be executed).

2) Characters:

The movie hero is a little annoying teenager who can't do anything right and spends most of the movie either sprawled on the floor or colliding with a wall. His amazing ability to emerge unharmed from those numerous collisions is only topped by this complete and utter patheticness, and it seems that his only other characteristic is really bad jokes.
To illustrate:
"I'd like to ride you home", "I've installed a disco ball here, and flashing lights there", selling his grandfather stuff during class and more.

The Transformers have a few lines if any at all, and those are wasted on stuff like "Bumblebee, stop spreading lubricant on the Human".

All the characters in the movie that are not purely background are comic relief, except the brave U.S soldiers. The are, of course, heroic hero's made to make you proud being American (But I'm not...). As flat as the rest, only that their one characteristic is being amazing.

I think this was long enough to illustrate my point.
In short I'll just say that every aspect of the movie was bad. Which is really amazing.

Replies? *ducks under a table*
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Zisteau
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Post by Zisteau »

TLDR
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Post by Prons »

Must you be such a buzz killington? :(
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Post by Ackula »

They weren't hacking the US database to find Sam, they were doing it to get all of the Sector 7/Iceman info...as could clearly be seen on the screen in the images that flashed by.

I would go on to dispute other things you are saying, but I feel there is no point.
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Post by optimum »

You obviously don't remember the cartoons... the movie has fantasy and plot holes because it's sci-fi!!! I know what I'm getting into before I go. I had my rants about the flick as well but it seems like you came in wanting "Apollo 13" or some Discovery channel show. Rent "A Few Good Men," or "Philadelphia" if you want a good PC script with an airtight plot.
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Re: Without a doubt, the worst movie I ever saw :(

Post by Clay »

Originally posted by UAFcommander
1) The move plot was pathetic to non-existent, hard to say which is best. The "Cube"? Come on...


I still don't understand comments like these. It's no different from any other 'item quest' plot. The Allspark/cube is to Transformers what the ark of the covenent is to the first Indiana Jones movie.

The cube being able to create mechanical life on whim is certainly no more contrived than an open box with dust in it melting Nazis.
Of course, he won't call the other autobots or tell Sam that he needs the glasses, he'll waste time in more and more "funny" scenes that "develop" Sam's character in the direction we already know - he is a clumsy pathetic teenager.
Because if his car just turned into a giant robot and asked for his grandpa's glasses, that would just make so much more sense than waiting until it's absolutely necessary to break cover.

Which is it? Do you want to rail on the movie for being pure fantasy in some places, or do you want to rail on it for proceding in a logical fashion in others?
The worst movie I ever saw.
You haven't seen many movies.
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Post by Zizicez »

maybe my opinion isn't all that important, it would be arrogant to say that it is...

But

I dont understand why someone would come to a Transformers fan site and sign up just to post a thread that bashes the movie like that.

It wasn't best movie of all time, but it definately isn't the worst.

and i damn well enjoyed it. I guess I enjoyed because I lack a stick in my bum...

I wasn't all that fond of FF: ROTSS, BUT I didn't go join a fantastic four forum just to talk about how bad it was.

This is a useless thread, and it is redundant. There is already a thread about things that were disliked about the movie.

But I guess that would take some sense, and I'm for getting that the guy that posted this just wants some attention
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UAFcommander
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Post by UAFcommander »

Well I had higher expectations form the movie, and I felt a need to get this off my chest. (I was registered long before that actually, only I rarely post).

I think the points that bother me the most are stuff like Bumblebee peeing on someone, and the Autobots hiding around the house.
Am I the only one who feels that this show complete disrespect in both the characters and the audience?


P.S - Oh and I'm sorry, I didn't notice the "things you disliked" until later. And still that thread seem to be more in the direction of "Great movie, wish Prime didn't have a mouth" while my rant is a bit more.... encompassing :)
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Post by RID Scourge »

Originally posted by UAFcommander
I think the points that bother me the most are stuff like Bumblebee peeing on someone,


I dunno. Of all the gags and jokes, I actually found that one the most amusing, but mainly because the guy he peed on was a bit of a bastard.
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Post by decepticonjon »

I actually enjoyed most of the comedy. It was on par with the cheesiness of the g1 cartoon, as was the plot. I felt like it could have been something taken directly out of g1.

And the nameless tape con (aka frenzy) was quite humorous. I thought it was hilarious when he was walking away from airforce one to barricade. Alot of people complained about the part in the backyard. While i felt it was dragged on a little too long, i still thought it was funny.

And i dont know why everyone complains about Sector 7. John Teturros character was one of the best (human) character in the whole movie. I thought he was great.

I realize there were many plot wholes (Selling a car without a title, a cube that created good and bad guys, but somehow when activated again it only creates decepticons, etc etc) but what did you expect. If you really think about it, the concept of giant transforming mass shifting alien robots fighting a war on earth is pretty far fetched in itself. That's how i got past all the holes, just the concept is a giant hole in itself.
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Post by JAGBot »

I thought it was a fun movie to watch, certainly not a classic, but compared to some of the dribble that makes it into cinemas it didn't disgrace itself. Most people who have negative things to say are the ones who seemed to have pre-conceived ideas of what the movie should be rather than what it is.

It was never meant to be a G1 movie, but they did want to make a movie the old school fans would like as well as capturing the imagination of new fans and those who didn't watch the cartoons, which is a difficult thing to do.

The first movie was always going to have a simple plot for this reason. They had to introduce an alien race, and individual characters, giving them a reason to crash on Earth and fight, getting humans involved is essential to creating an atmosphere that we/Earth could be in real danger.

The hard part is over. Much like the first X-Men movie more time had to be spent on devloping scene/human characters before they could really get into the transformers side of things. In the second movie they could get into that straight from the start.

The one thing I agree on is some of the comedy. It amused me a bit at first, but some of it was very cringe worthy and I imagine will become more so with further viewings. Sam's parents were the worst characters in the movie.

For the next movie I'd like to see them have a more darker tone with less juvenile humour.
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Post by *BARRAGE* »

proud being American (But I'm not...).


...part of me wishes you nothing put pain, and yet another part wishes you the censorship you would have if we lived elsewhere- i am not one to get all patriotic and, as one of my favorite artist has said "...those who wave flags should rarely own them..." but i really just want to kick your ass (even if you reference the movie characters not making you proud, the statement alone is insulting to all of those with family in the military...)
HE JUST WON'T STAY DEAD
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Post by Brimstone »

Originally posted by Xstarscreamx
...part of me wishes you nothing put pain, and yet another part wishes you the censorship you would have if we lived elsewhere- i am not one to get all patriotic and, as one of my favorite artist has said "...those who wave flags should rarely own them..." but i really just want to kick your ass (even if you reference the movie characters not making you proud, the statement alone is insulting to all of those with family in the military...)
Um...maybe I'm speaking out of turn here, but I thought he meant "I'm not an American."

Could be wrong, but that's how I read it.
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aka Arek Brimstone

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Wouldn't miss the occupation corporations rule the day." - Pearl Jam, "Undone"
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Post by *BARRAGE* »

...then i retract my rage if he meant he was not an american (i will feel like a massive jerk if thats so) , however i make no apologies or retractions if my reading was correct...
HE JUST WON'T STAY DEAD
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Post by Sir Auros »

Originally posted by Xstarscreamx
... the statement alone is insulting to all of those with family in the military...)


I'm not insulted, and the movie didn't make me all proud of our military. Your head asplode?
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Post by melchizedek »

I used to hang out on this forum a few years ago but stopped because you couldn't post your view without someone being a **** to you.I see nothing has changed
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Post by Ackula »

Originally posted by melchizedek
I used to hang out on this forum a few years ago but stopped because you couldn't post your view without someone being a **** to you.I see nothing has changed


In my short time here it actually hasn't been that way...until the movie came out and we got alot of new guys and gals posting on here who seem to be a bit more immature than most, and at times very much asses.

I wouldn't let them make you feel unwelcome, just ignore them or use witty sarcasm..that seems to confuse them and throw a smokescreen their way.
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Post by UAFcommander »

Hehe, Brimstone is correct. What I meant was that I am not American. ^_^

I read people here saying that the movie had to be dedicated to character introduction and development and setting the scene, and I must ask you "What are you talking about???"

I'm sorry, but:

1)The only Decepticon that got enough screen time to make character development is Frenzy. And yet, he is a two dimensional character just like the rest. He acts as if he's in the middle of drug withdrawal, and he hacks computers.

The rest of the decepticons got no character development, barely spoke if at all, and the only thing we know is "[name] transformers into [alt-mode]". That is not the type of character introductions that take a whole movie. That's two minutes, and indeed that all it took in the movie.

2)Same for the Autobots. Most of them barly said a sentence, and what they was AGAIN attemts to either be funny or establish them as a bunch of weirdos. Jazz, Ironhide and Ratchet are simply awful in my opinion. They are not likeable characters, they did not get the screen time to become even a little bit liked, and frankly no one cared that Jazz died, not even the autobots.
Heck I couldn't even tell it was Jazz until the end of the movie when they say it's him.
Optimus was showen to be an incompetent leader who can't keep his troops in order (Bumblebee peeing on the agent, Ironhide threatning to kill humans) nor control himself (He just HAD to step into the garden, then he couldn't even notice on what he's stepping.

Bumblebee is a little bit better, but that's just one bot fromt he whole bunch.
And still, none of the characters showed any growth, or even any complexity in it.


Also, I never expected a G1 movie, and none of my complaints where about that.
I did, however, expect a more serious and mature movie. This one was pretty much a collection of jokes (that I didn't like, if that wasn't clear) sometimes pausing for an action part (in which you couldn't tell what was happening).

I'd give the movie that much - the attack on the U.S base was good. Unfortunatly, that's just 10 minutes of 3 hours...
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Post by Sir Auros »

Originally posted by melchizedek
I used to hang out on this forum a few years ago but stopped because you couldn't post your view without someone being a **** to you.I see nothing has changed


O RLY?

melchizedek insults toy collectors

melchizedek says something nasty and flees

This kid has less than 50 posts, insults toy collectors, then throws a hissy fit when people call him out on it.
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Post by RID Scourge »

Ah. Was wondering what his problem was, but I couldn't be bothered with looking it up, myself. Stupid trolls, trying to make themselves into martyrs . . .
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