Right, I've had en-flipping-uff of this sitting around talking like old women...
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Right, I've had en-flipping-uff of this sitting around talking like old women...
...WE are going to get up off our arses and invade somewhere. We need a target. Select one. Then we talk cabinet positions. Obviously, I'm Minister of Space. We'll need more than that, though. First, though, we need a target, and some sort of invasion plan drawn up.
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I don't see why we should change the target this late into proceedings. France it is.
The classic plan has always been to just point G91 at it, but that might be impractical.
Addl was meant to scout the area, but seems to have vanished.
I say we send Sixy down there (Portsmouth is virtually France anyway). She can distract them by talking or something. Totally confuse them.
Then we all, like, hit them over the head with a hammer and steal their country.
... could be tricky, though. If I understand correctly, they already have a flag. So the standard approach is out.
The classic plan has always been to just point G91 at it, but that might be impractical.
Addl was meant to scout the area, but seems to have vanished.
I say we send Sixy down there (Portsmouth is virtually France anyway). She can distract them by talking or something. Totally confuse them.
Then we all, like, hit them over the head with a hammer and steal their country.
... could be tricky, though. If I understand correctly, they already have a flag. So the standard approach is out.
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Hmmm, maybe get Slarti on it? Addl's probably discovered Absinthe or something. Which may be a handy factor later on, but we'd have to get over there first to point him in the right direction, turn his Porsche bakc onto its' wheels, etc.
Or... how about we change the TF Archive flag for the tricolour? That way we can claim it was ours in the first place. Stuff them all over on Corsica, then change the flag to, I dunno, a three-mile high advertising hoarding with a picture of a hand doing a V-sign, pointing at the aforementioned Corsica?
Or... how about we change the TF Archive flag for the tricolour? That way we can claim it was ours in the first place. Stuff them all over on Corsica, then change the flag to, I dunno, a three-mile high advertising hoarding with a picture of a hand doing a V-sign, pointing at the aforementioned Corsica?
Originally posted by Halfshell
Then we all, like, hit them over the head with a hammer and steal their country.
But, there are about 64 million French. You do realize, that's quite a lot. And at least a bit more that 8000 members we have here. Up to that point, your plan seemed to be very well thought of and quite practical. But the execution needs more work, methinks.
And after we take France, what then? I mean it's pretty but what do you do with it.
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Originally posted by Silly Cow
But, there are about 64 million French. You do realize, that's quite a lot. And at least a bit more that 8000 members we have here. Up to that point, your plan seemed to be very well thought of and quite practical. But the execution needs more work, methinks.
Which works out at 8000 Frenchmen/women per Archiver. Are you honestly saying you couldn't single-handedly drive off eight thousand Frenchmen?
Originally posted by Silly Cow
And after we take France, what then? I mean it's pretty but what do you do with it.
Use it as a base to plan invasions of Belgium, Germany and France.
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Votes for Andorra the perfect Mountain stronghold for the invasion of the rest of Europe.
Plus there's no VAT although as the conquering heroes we should get everything for free anyone
We could manipulate the smuggling of Duty free cigarettes into France and thus bring the whole French Nation to its Knees Bwahahaha.
Plus there's no VAT although as the conquering heroes we should get everything for free anyone
We could manipulate the smuggling of Duty free cigarettes into France and thus bring the whole French Nation to its Knees Bwahahaha.
Well I certainly can. I'm not that convinced about the guy who'll post in this thread next. He can't be counted on, I say.Originally posted by Cliffjumper
Which works out at 8000 Frenchmen/women per Archiver. Are you honestly saying you couldn't single-handedly drive off eight thousand Frenchmen?
Use it as a base to plan invasions of Belgium, Germany and France.
Ah, c'mon. I know you're going to double cross us, but you don't have to be so blunt about it.
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Originally posted by Cliffjumper
You're right, it's probably not even worth planning for Belgium. We'll get that place when we stop for a piss at the services on the way.
What should we do about Italy and Spain? I say we just blindfold everyone and then let all the bulls lose in Spain, and then just take out italy by playing "Barbie Girl" over every speaker in the country at max volume for 3 weeks non stop. That outta do it.
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Originally posted by optimusskids
Unfortunatley the playing of Barbie Girl more than twice a decade is banned under the Geneva Convention as Cruel and Unusual.
I don't remember agreeing to recognise the Geneva convention. I've been buying bloody anti-personnel clusters bombs off ebay for weeks now. Why wasn't I informed we recognised the Convention? God Doammit, i'm Minister for Space, you're meant to tell me this sort of thing. I'm going to kill... oh, I dunno, Clay for this.
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Originally posted by Cliffjumper
I don't remember agreeing to recognise the Geneva convention. I've been buying bloody anti-personnel clusters bombs off ebay for weeks now. Why wasn't I informed we recognised the Convention? God Doammit, i'm Minister for Space, you're meant to tell me this sort of thing. I'm going to kill... oh, I dunno, Clay for this.
Screw Geneva. I propose the Cliffjumper Convention... everything f***ing works.
Good deal; I'm down wif' whatever, Cliffy. Being a sentient glitch and all, I could really mess s**t up with their electronics and stuff. What will I be the minister of in your cabinet?
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Of course we have a flag. That's how wars are fought, don't you know.
If you don't have a flag, you've got no chance.
There are options.
We can use if for storage. We can rent it out. We can set it on fire just to see how long it takes to burn out. We can set on fire just because it would be funny.
We can hold a festival. We can fence the entire area off and run around naked. We can use it as a secret staging ground for the attempt to retake our homeworld (all we'd need is a little energon and a lot of luck).
Then there's the other options. The secret CLASSIFIED options.
And seriously, people. Don't underestimate the Dutch. They speak four languages despite smoking dope. Plus don't think the Dutch Conspiracy isn't still about just because it hasn't been mentioned in years - that's exactly what they want us to think.
They could be anywhere. Any one of us. They could even be in this thread right now...
If you don't have a flag, you've got no chance.
Originally posted by Silly Cow
And after we take France, what then? I mean it's pretty but what do you do with it.
There are options.
We can use if for storage. We can rent it out. We can set it on fire just to see how long it takes to burn out. We can set on fire just because it would be funny.
We can hold a festival. We can fence the entire area off and run around naked. We can use it as a secret staging ground for the attempt to retake our homeworld (all we'd need is a little energon and a lot of luck).
Then there's the other options. The secret CLASSIFIED options.
And seriously, people. Don't underestimate the Dutch. They speak four languages despite smoking dope. Plus don't think the Dutch Conspiracy isn't still about just because it hasn't been mentioned in years - that's exactly what they want us to think.
They could be anywhere. Any one of us. They could even be in this thread right now...