I'm Writing A Bestseller!!

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Sades
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I'm Writing A Bestseller!!

Post by Sades »

... Really! It's gonna be huge...

It shall be called "1001 Reasons Not To Buy This Book" :D, A four-chapter opus created only for my amusement. It shall be done whenever I get around to it, and shall feature a full color, glossy centrefold of a bowl of chicken soup. With broccoli. :D

I have the chapter titles all in place...

Chapter 1: Living with French Poodles
Chapter 1 1/3: Random Monkeys
Chapter three: Getting Bored Yet?
and, of course, Chapter Fore: Mispelling Made Easy: Use a Fork

... Now, all I need is content. I think I shall start with... "It was a dark and stormy night... and then I fell asleep and forgot about it."

Now... My question is... would you buy it? :confused: I must know before I begin, after all... Suggestions are welcome, also... :D
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Halfshell
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suggestions?

Post by Halfshell »

Get some sleep!

And yes, I'd buy it. I need a new paperweight :p
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StoneCold Skywarp
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Post by StoneCold Skywarp »

I'd buy it, I'm sick of knocking Bombshell/Mirage out with my fists....

Chapter 74: 'the diet of Skywarp's rats?'

I only expect Sadie to understand that...
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Shrapnel Clone
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Post by Shrapnel Clone »

Hmmm.... Do they eat marshmallows?


Or was it popcorn? Don't recall, joke's too old..... *swipes some more marshmallows from Skywarp*
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Halfshell
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Post by Halfshell »

Chapter 37: Dogs and tamarins do not mix.
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Redstreak
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Post by Redstreak »

Don't forget the liberal/conservative conspiracy so you can avoid Sheba and Screamer...

And be sure to throw in an act that can juggle chainsaws, you can't go wrong with something like that...
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Sixshot
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Post by Sixshot »

Yes, I would buy it, and possibly even read it. Could you also put a chapter in about living with Poodles of other nationalities?
Image

He was in a boy band!
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Sheba
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Post by Sheba »

Chapter 5: How I gave away my Tacklehug shtick to Sheba (or was it stolen? I forgot ):D ;) :D :D :D
"This appears to be a copy of Final Fantasy, which is a step up from a copy of Pearl Jam"-Ed the Sock, on Fromage 2002, about one of Creed's videos--"Bullets".
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Unicron
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Post by Unicron »

Yeah I'd buy it. Need something to prop up the one corner of my couch.

How about a chapter about Penguin's that steal sanity?
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Dinobot
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Post by Dinobot »

That actually sounds pretty cool. I think I may just steal your idea...
"Tell my tale to those who ask. Tell it truly - the ill deeds, along with the good - and let me be judged accordingly. The rest... is silence."
Dinobot - Code Of Hero
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Sades
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Rocky mountain rain, keeps on faaaallllinnnnggg...

Post by Sades »

Galvatron84, you steal my half-baked idea and you shall feel the wrath of a thousand miniature marching platypuses made out of clay, pipe cleaners, and rubber cement. Now then...

*furiously skibbles notes*

Sleep? Suggestion noted... and ignored. ;) :p Also, tamarins and dogs do, indeed, mix... if the tamarin is insane, and hungry enough... and wearing a little sweater. The dogs don't stand a chance. :p

Sparky, you want me to devote an entire chapter to your rats?!?... yeah, well... only if you take Jagger. He's trying to teach me dance moves. Help!

Kickers, these are no ordinary rats. They eat... um, lint. Yeah. And aging rock stars. :p

Red... juggling chainsaws, gotcha... But, how am I gonna fit the person in there? Ah well, it'll drive the price up... And, for that suggestion, you now have to buy it. :D

Sixy... poodles of other nationalities? But... I thought all poodles were French. At least, that's what it seems when I turn on the TV... I'll add something about Dobermans, though... and Alsatians, just so the poodles don't look so... singled out. :p

Sheba... :D I gave it to you, it just made sense... big transforming cougar, tackle-hug! Soooo fitting... okay, Sheebs gets her own chapter... "Tacklehugging giant transforming cougars, and their relationship to the Spork: An essay in D minor". :p

But, Unicron... I've never had my sanity stolen by Penguins. It's been hijacked by desert dwellers and put up for sale on the black market, but no penguins...

*skibble skibble*

Okay... that about does it. I've decided that all the stuff you guys mentioned will be stuffed into the little empty page that is always at the back of any bestseller, while I ramble on for 39 chapters about little circus ponies and making things out of mud. Also, the last 638 chapters will be nothing but a solid block of wood, seeing as how we've a couple of violent potential buyers... and I'd like to make sure people get their money's worth.

Why did I decide to push all your stuff into one tiny page? Well, I hate to tell you guys this, but... you people are wierd. Like, really, really wierd. Like, "Wow" weird. ;)
This is my signature. My wasted space. My little corner. You can't have it. It's mine. I can write whatever I want. And I have!
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Unicron
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Post by Unicron »

Ok. Then how about something with a Shapeshifting Camel? or maybe a giant squirrel strapped with C4?
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Dinobot
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Post by Dinobot »

Galvatron84, you steal my half-baked idea and you shall feel the wrath of a thousand miniature marching platypuses made out of clay, pipe cleaners, and rubber cement. Now then...
:D Okay then, can i write the foreword?
"Tell my tale to those who ask. Tell it truly - the ill deeds, along with the good - and let me be judged accordingly. The rest... is silence."
Dinobot - Code Of Hero
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Ravage
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Post by Ravage »

Chapter ?? Cats + Dogs + Sealbox = Hours of fun!

Chapter 66 Mcdonalds and you.

Sure I'd buy it I tend to read the odd stuff anyway.
The bunnies, they give me knowledge it is neat.

The only necessity for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
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Unicron
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Post by Unicron »

Originally posted by Galvatron84
:D Okay then, can i write the foreword?
If he gets to write the foreword, I want to write the backword
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Sheba
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Post by Sheba »

LOL! :D

Chapter NCC-1701-D:
Ensign Robin Lefler's Laws

Law 17: If all else fails, do it yourself
Law 36: You gotta go with what works
Law 46: Life isn't always fair
Law 91: Always watch your back
Law 103: A couple of Light Years can't keep two friends apart

:D :D :D :D
"This appears to be a copy of Final Fantasy, which is a step up from a copy of Pearl Jam"-Ed the Sock, on Fromage 2002, about one of Creed's videos--"Bullets".
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Denyer
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Post by Denyer »

Robin Lefler is also a mainstay character in Peter David's Star Trek: New Frontier series, as is her mother Morgan Lefler... I'll leave you to find out the rest for yourselves... :)
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