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Old 2003-06-19, 05:19 AM   #1
axio
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Default >>ToTaL SiGnS oF fLiRtInG<< (the rant version by yours truely)

I know each and everyone of you has recieved this ****ing e-mail at least once and I can't tell you how much it just... BURNS me when I read/am forced to delete it. Bad grammar, horrible spelling, TyPiNg LiKe ThiS. Enjoy

Wow, I really hope that whoever wrote that has their hands caught in a meat grinder or something so we never have to suffer through their drivel again Sounds like something that people in grade school said. I went for the tried and true "Do you like me? Circle yes, no or maybe" note... not this bull****.

I guess I wouldn't be as bitter if everyone didn't keep ****ing e-mailing me the same goddamn list over and over again. But allow me to destruct this piece of **** for you guys & gals (I think Maddox did this a while ago also, or was it another one?)

Quote:
>>ToTaL SiGnS oF fLiRtInG<<
>>>>>>>>>4 the boys>>>>>>>>>>
Only idiots and "thug angel aZn's " choose to type like this, unless of course this person has Parkinsons and keeps on tapping the shift button while typing... and what the **** are "total signs of flirting"? Could it be partial signs of flirting? Idiots not knowing how to use proper lexis.

Quote:
1. She makes eye contact and smiles at you.
On any given day a thousand women will make eye contact w/you and smile. Does this mean that the chick at the fast food place who hates her job but is forced to smile and say "thank you" is flirting w/you also?
Quote:
2. She hits you softly on the arm and laughs when you say something funny.
Violent bitch isn't she?
Quote:
3. She flips her hair when she's talking to you.
Flips her hair? I will admit it is cute a few times, but if shes flipping her hair everytime I see her, I'm thinking theres something wrong w/her... lice perhaps?
Quote:
4. She touches your arm when she talks to you.
Once again, on a given day a couple girls are going to talk to you, and they will touch your arm when they are talking to you. Everyone has had that fat, touchy feely gossip hole at work who can't seem to shuttup, and when you try to walk away... she grabs your arm. If shes flirting w/me, my first instinct would be to gnaw my arm off like a coyote.
Quote:
5. She says, "No, I'm not telling you who I like!" with a! big smile on her face
So... she likes playing w/your mind and toying w/your emotions? I attribute this quote to probably... half of the love songs out there.
Quote:
6. She asks you who you like or who you would go out with seemingly interested.
Ok, fine... I guess there is one worthwhile thing on this that isn't dripping w/the sacharine trite of pop culture "romance"... but this may have flown when I was in 6th grade, but not now.
Quote:
7. When you go to the movies with a bunch of your friends and she is almost always next to you.
And? So everytime a girl sits next to me at the movies I should make a move on her? I'd think I'd get slapped around a lot w/this crappy advice.
Quote:
8. She criticizes you on a girl you like.
Don't they do this already? Find me a girl who can't find something about another girl that she doesn't like, no really... I dare you to.
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9. You catch her staring at you.
Shes also a creepy bitch huh? What if I have some **** in my teeth and shes staring at that?
Quote:
10. She plays with your hair or tries to put make up on you.
What the ****, you sure this isn't a list for girls on how to find their gay guy friends?
Quote:
11. Her friends outside of school and in school know about you, and says she talks ! about you a lot.
Obsessive also?!
Quote:
12. She knows your phone number and address.
Phone number I can understand (even I suck at phone numbers, my cell phone has made it so I don't bother to memorize numbers anymore)... but address? Does she plan on stalking you?
Quote:
13. She will try and talk, and spend time with you as much as possible
Right, and chicks don't already spend most of their time talking? Talking on the phone, talking in person, and talking every other chance they get... women love to converse. Doesn't mean they actually like you. Spend as much time w/you as possible? You aren't with her and shes already clingy? Smells afoul to me
Quote:
>>>>>>>>4 the Girls>>>>>>>>>>
Was it really that hard to type "For"?
Quote:
1. He stares at you a lot.
So hes a stalker also? So according to this list stalkers should be alright in the law because well... they just like staring at you.
Quote:
2. He hits you a lot. (just play hitting )
So basically if I gave a girl a black eye, its ok? You know, wife beaters try to use this as an excuse. "I hit her because I love her." Doesn't fly in court, doesn't fly here either. I know for a fact that if I was to hit a girl it would not send the right message.
Quote:
3. He uses the first thing that pops into his head to start a conversation with you
Doesn't everyone on the face of the ****ing planet do this already?
Quote:
4. He yelled, "Hi!", to your mom that day she picked you up from school.
Maybe your mom is hotter than you
Quote:
5. He blew off his buds to go see "Run Away Bride" with you cuz you couldn't get another girl pal to go and didn't want to go alone.
See this is the kind of total bull**** that a woman is fed from day one about what a man should do for her. There isn't a guy on the face of the planet (straight at least) that would blow off hanging out w/his friends (cars? strip clubs? sitting around playing Playstation? Sounds like fun to me!) to go watch a chick flick. Women buy into this fantasy of Prince Charming and when it doesn't happen they become bitter and take it out on any poor sap that dares to ask her out. And even when he does do a few of these things, its never enough... she has to be a Princess because he made the dumbass mistake of not hanging out w/his friends that day, and now they won't talk to him because you are the wedge in their friendship and he is a whipped bastard who would choose "ho's" before "bro's"

"Bro's before Ho's", one of the truest quotes ever
Quote:
6. He tries to make you laugh anyway even if he gets hurt in the process
How the **** can he get hurt by making you laugh? Do you plan on stabbing him if he does? And maybe if you weren't this needy you wouldn't need a guy to constantly make you laugh, maybe you'd turn on a TV like a normal person and get your entertainment there. But no, you need some poor guy who's going to get stabbed for making you laugh.
Quote:
7. His voice gets softer ("Hey, you") when ever you two talk.
Could also mean he hates you.
Quote:
8. You hung up on him. He called you back.
You are a bitch for hanging up on him on the first place.
Quote:
9. You where invited by him to a group outing.
What the ****? So if I were to ask random friends that are girls to go w/me someplace (say a movie or something) it means I like them? This is another example of how women try to build something that isn't there and then claim that all guys are un-emotional assholes because they don't notice her. Maybe his world doesn't ****ing revolve around you?!
Quote:
10. He called you to t! alk about nothing at all.
So... there was dead air? You two listened to each other breathe? This is creepier than anything I've ever heard of before.
Quote:
11. He imitates your laugh. OK, you do snort sometimes. Which makes you laugh even harder.
So because he mocks you he likes you? Maybe if you didn't laugh like a pig he wouldn't mock you.
Quote:
12. He remembers little things you mention in casual conversation.
The heights of bull**** have been achieved by this single quote. I remember things from "casual" conversations (is there any other kind?) all the ****ing time, doesn't mean I'm interested... it means my mind works properly and has a short term and long term memory. Another example of bull**** women use to build up expectations.
Quote:
13. He sometimes stares straight into your eyes.
And? I look at people in their eyes when talking to them, doesn't mean I like her. And I would be kinda creeped out if someone was just standing there staring at me, and "sometimes" tries to stare into my eyes for no apparent reason...
Quote:
14. He every possible way to touch you (your hair, face, ass, thighs, ect.)
"He every possible way" ? What the **** are you trying to say here? So if I slap a girl I like on the ass, she should be alright with it right? So if I were to walk up to a chick I like and grab a tit, she should be alright with it? Remember this one ladies, it may help you down the line

god I hate this list, the person who wrote this, and the poor saps who buy into the bull**** it trys to put out...
 
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Old 2003-06-19, 05:22 AM   #2
Ultimate Weapon
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And if the girl does not fall for these moves I can use date rape:rolleyes:
 
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Old 2003-06-19, 05:51 AM   #3
Hound
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Wow, that was offensive...:\
 
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Old 2003-06-19, 05:51 AM   #4
Blaster_86
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So the point of this thread is to insult someone who cannot defend themselves and boost your own easily inflated ego? Go you!

Idiot....
 
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Old 2003-06-19, 06:01 AM   #5
axio
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Quote:
Originally posted by Blaster_86
So the point of this thread is to insult someone who cannot defend themselves and boost your own easily inflated ego?
Nah, more of a venting for all the times I have to see the list :\

Besides what can anyone say in defense of it? "Its true?"

Lighten up, laugh a lil, you may enjoy your day more
 
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Old 2003-06-19, 06:04 AM   #6
Blaster_86
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Quote:
Originally posted by LiquifiedTiger
Nah, more of a venting for all the times I have to see the list :\

Besides what can anyone say in defense of it? "Its true?"

Lighten up, laugh a lil, you may enjoy your day more
Don't read it. You also may never know, the people who helped put that together may go of personal experience making it true, and I would laugh.... if it was funny.
 
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Old 2003-06-19, 06:11 AM   #7
axio
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*shrug*

Take it how you will. I don't see the point in arguing about something this small, you feel the need to start a fight, and I really don't care.
 
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Old 2003-06-19, 06:36 AM   #8
Plasmodium
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Good post.

edit: LT, word of advice, dont make these type of topics, the one youve made here is in a style much like my own, which usually doesnt fly well here. :/
 

Last edited by Plasmodium; 2003-06-19 at 06:58 AM.
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Old 2003-06-19, 06:55 AM   #9
Crazomatic
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Erm, *cough* yeah, that was really funny! *cough* umm, yeah! Great! That was great! Uh-huh, yep!
 

Silly boys. . . . . . Transformers are for girls!
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Old 2003-06-19, 11:39 AM   #10
Sixswitch
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That was obviously written by a 12 year old. I think when you get to young adult years, you're beyond giggling and going 'no I won't tell you who I like', or using the movies as an excuse to cop off with someone. That's why you think a lot of it's rediculous LT, it doesn't apply to your age group.

However...

My amateur psychology tells me that what you're really pissed off at is the stupid, spammy, crappy junk mails you keep getting. And I fully agree with ya, people who send 'em should be given a stern talking to if they don't know any better, and a sound beating if they do.

-Ss
 


I found God. Then I lost him. He'll probably turn up down the back of the sofa someday.
"The early bird gets the worm, but the early worm is ****ed."
"I'm not oppressing you Stan, but you haven't got a womb. Where's the fetus going to gestate? You going to keep it in a box?"
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Old 2003-06-19, 11:45 AM   #11
Computron
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Quote:
Originally posted by Sixswitch
That was obviously written by a 12 year old. I think when you get to young adult years, you're beyond giggling and going 'no I won't tell you who I like', or using the movies as an excuse to cop off with someone.
Yeah, like getting hammered and just randomly going after a decent bird in a club and hoping there drunk enough as well

That or aim for a "valleys bird"
 

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Old 2003-06-19, 11:53 AM   #12
Sixswitch
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Quote:
Originally posted by Computron
Yeah, like getting hammered and just randomly going after a decent bird in a club and hoping there drunk enough as well

That or aim for a "valleys bird"
Right on!

Though I know a really nice girl from the valleys. She's got a boyfriend tho'. Busted I guess. Though she's still a good friend, so I'm happy.

Erm, anyway, stupid soppy stuff over. That's normally what us students do nowadays. Speaking of that, aint you graduating this year?
 


I found God. Then I lost him. He'll probably turn up down the back of the sofa someday.
"The early bird gets the worm, but the early worm is ****ed."
"I'm not oppressing you Stan, but you haven't got a womb. Where's the fetus going to gestate? You going to keep it in a box?"
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Old 2003-06-19, 12:00 PM   #13
Computron
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Quote:
Originally posted by Sixswitch
Erm, anyway, stupid soppy stuff over. That's normally what us students do nowadays. Speaking of that, aint you graduating this year?
Next Year - Same as you (IIRC)

It is so silly how many of lifes illusions are shattered when you grow up

examples:

GCSE's and to a degree A-Levels mean absolutly nothing in the work place
You get women by being romantic with them (As shown above, I get more luck in clubs being an ass)
If your not cool in school you won't get anywhere (the exact opposite, the people I know who were cool in school have jobs at McDonalds whilst the shy people have since gotten more confident (uni does that) and have awsome 20-30k+ jobs)
 

I support a ban on powerposting
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Old 2003-06-19, 12:25 PM   #14
Sixswitch
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Yeah, the whole idea of 'cool' and 'popular' becomes irrelevent when you get to uni anyway. Even if you're the coolest guy in the world, who everyone wants to be around, there're 20,000+ people in my university, so you're always gonna be a drop in the ocean regardless. Besides, most people in my school who were deemed to be 'cool' were assholes. Everyone else was treated equal. I suppose in uni, trying to be cool means not going to lectures, and arsing around, which isn't smart really.

The thing about earlier exams is very true too. I've always seen them as stepping stones anyway. You do GCSEs to get to do the A-Levels you want. You do A-Levels to do the degree you want, and you do the degree you want to get a good job and earn ****loads of money.

You're right about the confidence thing too. I've certainly found myself getting much more confident, and I wasn't particularly shy to begin with. i was really worried about my friend at the start of uni - he was shy and quiet in school, but when he got to uni, he changed big time - for the better.

And the whole 'romance' thing is kinda scary. As Cat said once 'Damn man, that sounds like a lot of work!'

-Ss
 


I found God. Then I lost him. He'll probably turn up down the back of the sofa someday.
"The early bird gets the worm, but the early worm is ****ed."
"I'm not oppressing you Stan, but you haven't got a womb. Where's the fetus going to gestate? You going to keep it in a box?"
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Old 2003-06-19, 04:02 PM   #15
Shrapnel Clone
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That list could also be titled "How to destroy a good friendship"....
 

"I dunno about you, but whenever I get confused I always mutilate the person next to me."
-Cliffjumper
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Old 2003-06-19, 09:23 PM   #16
Denyer
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Quote:
Originally posted by Sixswitch
using the movies as an excuse to cop off with someone.
Don't be in such a hurry to grow up...

** Song Now Playing: Nerf Herder Courtney **

This post was sponsored by irony. The really postmodern, self-referential kind with an iron aftertaste you can't quite convince yourself isn't there.
 
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