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Old 2007-04-28, 03:38 PM   #41
andersonh1
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Next chapter:





 
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Old 2007-04-28, 04:46 PM   #42
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Ah, I remember the explosions. I was always curious how you made them.
 
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Old 2007-04-30, 12:33 AM   #43
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Quote:
Originally posted by Pun-3X
Ah, I remember the explosions. I was always curious how you made them.
It's an image of an actual explosion with the background deleted and the usual Photoshop filter applied.
 
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Old 2007-05-02, 01:20 AM   #44
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Old 2007-05-15, 12:13 AM   #45
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Long update today.
 

Last edited by andersonh1; 2007-05-26 at 03:32 AM.
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Old 2007-05-26, 03:45 AM   #46
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Next Chapter.








 

Last edited by andersonh1; 2007-06-25 at 11:05 PM.
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Old 2007-06-01, 09:32 PM   #47
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Next Chapter. Thanks to everyone who is reading. There haven't been any comments lately, but I notice the thread views are going up, so someone's taking a look. I appreciate it.








 
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Old 2007-06-02, 02:08 AM   #48
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And it's worth looking at, trust me.

I notice that too, about people not necessarily posting, but that there are viewers. They're out there for sure.
 
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Old 2007-06-02, 05:10 AM   #49
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Quote:
Originally posted by Pun-3X
And it's worth looking at, trust me.

I notice that too, about people not necessarily posting, but that there are viewers. They're out there for sure.
Thanks for the encouraging words.
 

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Old 2007-06-02, 08:12 AM   #50
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The people on this board don't tend to write pure "great stuff, you're the greatest, lol" posts.

Enjoyed the latest additions, though I have to confess that Obsidian against the whole maximal elite guard seemed a bit unrealistic (him getting out alive and victorious from the battle I mean).

I was delighted to see that you've developed personalities for the supporting characters as well. Keeping Cruellock as techno-organic Predacon with his own agenda was a nice touch as well.

Thrust/Waspinator character is my favourite bit of your story so far. "...the bot I knew was nothing but a shell program created by Megatron".

Didn't really like the appearance of "Jetstrom ghost", unless it's meant to present Thrust personality trying to override Waspinator personality.

Few nitpicks
-When Nightviper is about to report that there are others arriving in addtion to Obsidian, there's no sense for him to speak aloud. Thought bubble/square would make more sense.
-If Jetstorm is in hover mode, the thrusters should be visible.
 

Last edited by Osku; 2007-06-02 at 08:15 AM.
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Old 2007-06-02, 02:02 PM   #51
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Quote:
Originally posted by Osku
The people on this board don't tend to write pure "great stuff, you're the greatest, lol" posts.
That's not a problem. Like I said, I know people are reading it, and that's the goal.

However, I always enjoy thoughts like yours below. I don't have an editor obviously, since I'm just writing this stuff on my own, so I don't have the benefit of a second opinion or proofreader. As much as I try to plot this stuff out and eliminate problems, I don't always catch everything. It's good to get some solid feedback.

Quote:
Enjoyed the latest additions, though I have to confess that Obsidian against the whole maximal elite guard seemed a bit unrealistic (him getting out alive and victorious from the battle I mean).
That was meant to be a very quick hit and run, so he would get in and get out before anyone could respond, not an engagement. That's why Waspinator is flying through the streets as well. It was purely a distraction to help Scavenger break through the floor and get Strika out that lasted maybe a few minutes.

Quote:
I was delighted to see that you've developed personalities for the supporting characters as well. Keeping Cruellock as techno-organic Predacon with his own agenda was a nice touch as well.
Did you mean Wreckloose? He's very much pursuing his own agenda, and we'll see more of him later on. Glad you enjoyed it.

Quote:
Thrust/Waspinator character is my favourite bit of your story so far. "...the bot I knew was nothing but a shell program created by Megatron".

Didn't really like the appearance of "Jetstrom ghost", unless it's meant to present Thrust personality trying to override Waspinator personality.
That's not exactly what's happening, but the hallucinations are tied to Waspinator's time as Thrust. Waspinator's problems are a subject for a future story.

Quote:
Few nitpicks
-When Nightviper is about to report that there are others arriving in addtion to Obsidian, there's no sense for him to speak aloud. Thought bubble/square would make more sense.
Looking back at it, I think you're right.

Quote:
-If Jetstorm is in hover mode, the thrusters should be visible.
The lack of thrusters was just me attempting to emulate the show look as much as possible.

Thanks for your thoughts.
 

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Old 2007-06-08, 01:13 AM   #52
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Old 2007-06-09, 07:13 PM   #53
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Old 2007-06-19, 05:28 PM   #55
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Quote:
Originally posted by andersonh1
That was meant to be a very quick hit and run, so he would get in and get out before anyone could respond, not an engagement. That's why Waspinator is flying through the streets as well. It was purely a distraction to help Scavenger break through the floor and get Strika out that lasted maybe a few minutes.
No problem with that "hit and run" scene, which was well done IMO. I meant the earlier when he went solo against the Maximal elite.

Quote:
Did you mean Wreckloose? He's very much pursuing his own agenda, and we'll see more of him later on. Glad you enjoyed it.
Wreckloose, yes. Having trouble with the newer series names.

Now I'm off to read the rest of the story...
 
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Old 2007-06-19, 09:35 PM   #56
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Ok, I didn't realize you were referring back to Obsidian's hand to hand fights earlier in the story.

In fairness, Obsidian could also be considered an 'elite' of sorts, though more at strategy than one on one fighting. He does get trashed pretty badly, and only escapes in the end because he's rescued. So it's not a clean win, it's one where he just barely gets out alive.
 

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Old 2007-06-20, 02:35 AM   #57
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Finished reading through this tonight. Great stuff!

This picture won't load, though:
Quote:
Originally posted by andersonh1

Also, would you want Obsidian's Lament to have a permanent host here at the Archive? That can be arranged.
 
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Old 2007-06-20, 11:20 AM   #58
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Quote:
Originally posted by Clay
Finished reading through this tonight. Great stuff!

This picture won't load, though:
I'll reload that this evening when I get home. Thanks for reading, and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Quote:
Also, would you want Obsidian's Lament to have a permanent host here at the Archive? That can be arranged.
That would be great. Thanks! Just let me know what you need.
 

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Old 2007-06-23, 03:35 AM   #59
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I continued the story I began in "Obsidian's Lament"with a short story set a few months after Obsidian's escape, and rather than start a new thread, I think I'll continue posting in this one.










to be continued.
 

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Old 2007-06-25, 11:05 PM   #60
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Quote:
Originally posted by Clay
Finished reading through this tonight. Great stuff!

This picture won't load, though:
Fixed.
 

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