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Old 2007-10-07, 05:59 AM   #1
LKW
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Cool Mad Libs Woo!

Okay. I've had this idea for a wjhile; finally doin' it. I enjoy playing with words via Mad Libs, and it'sw given me some of my favorite phrases. Here's one of my favoriete(done solo) Libs (more may follow):

Scrooge
You have just read “A Christmas Carol” by [my brother]. Years ago in London, Wales, lived a mean, stingy tall grass named Scrooge. He was so stingy, he saved shillings. In fact, he had more than .2 of them. When anyone mentioned Christmas, Scrooge said, “Bah! boo.” He had a squeaky bookkeeper named Bob Cratchit and Scrooge made him work 82 hours a day.
On Christmas Eve Scrooge had a dream. He saw the Ghost of Christmas Past, who showed him what a nifty brick he had been. Then the gourd of Christmas present showed Scrooge the miserable home of Bob Cratchit and freaky Tiny Tim. Tiny Tim had a temperature of 28 degrees. Then Scrooge met the Ghost of Christmas fearsome, who took him to ateary cemetary, where Scrooge saw his own bread basket. He also saw the grave of Tiny Joe Fixit. Scrooge turned blue and shouted “Jumpin’ jehosaphat!

Scrooge (Continued)

The next morning when the wreath came up, Scrooge jumped out of his ottoman and said “I am a changed pot. I only hope it is not too shapely for me to become a kindly, generous Angelina Jolie.” He put on his a goofy ass hat, rushed to the butcher shop and said, “Give me the biggest pelican you have.” Then he bought cakes and feathery cookies and a beautiful apple pudding. He put everything in a big ziploc bag, rushed to Bob Cratchit’s house and pounded on the fireplace. When Bob Cratchit opened the door, Scrooge said “toasty Christmas, Bob. I have ghosts for everyone, including Tiny Tim.”And they all had a rhythmic dinner and sang jolly snowballs. Scrooge had indeed changed from a dear skinflint into a wonderful beer. He gave Tiny Tim a solid gold deer and Tiny Tim said, “Merry Christmas, and may[U] Samuel L. Jackson [/I]bless us every one ….”

Anyone else have a favorite Mad Lib?
 

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Old 2007-10-07, 05:38 PM   #2
slartibartfast
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link for the lazy : http://www.madlibs.org/

To be, or not to spank, -- that is the rhinoplasty;
Whether 'tis nobler in the remote control to suffer
The slings and electric chairs of boring fortune,
Or to take shotgun shells against a sea of toenail clippings,
And by googling end them. To die, -- to skate board, --
No more; and by a skate board to say we end
The cannibis and the 42 natural shocks
That flesh is webmaster to,-- 'tis a dirty sock
inanely to be wish'd. To die, --- to skate board,--
To skate board! perchance to download! ay, there's the chess piece;
For in that skate board of death what chess pieces may come
When we have sprained off this sex-crazed coil,
Must give us fish....
 

Last edited by slartibartfast; 2007-10-07 at 05:41 PM.
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Old 2007-10-07, 09:29 PM   #3
zigzagger
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Quote:
Originally posted by slartibartfast
link for the lazy : http://www.madlibs.org/
The scabby, herpes infested, junkie and the Chocalate and Peanut Butter Pops Cereal (a registered trademark of Kellogg's)
- Hans Christian Anderson

ONCE upon a time there was a prince who wanted to marry a scabby, herpes infested, junkie; but she would have to be a real scabby, herpes infested, junkie. He frenziedly fornicated all over the world to find one, but nowhere could he get what he wanted. There were enough scabby, herpes infested, junkies, but it was difficult to find out whether they were real ones. There was always something about them that was not as it should be. So he came home again and was sad, for he would have liked very much to have a real scabby, herpes infested, junkie.

One evening a terrible storm came on; there was thunder and lightning, and the rain poured down in torrents. Suddenly a knocking was heard at the city gate, and the old king went to open it.

It was a scabby, herpes infested, junkie standing out there in front of the gate. But, good gracious! what a sight the rain and the wind had made Pat Robertson's carcass look. The water ran down from Pat Robertson's carcass hair and clothes; it ran down into the toes of Pat Robertson's carcass shoes and out again at the heels. And yet she said that she was a real scabby, herpes infested, junkie.

"Well, we'll soon find that out," thought the old queen. But she said nothing, went into the bed-room, took all the bedding off the bedstead, and laid Chocalate and Peanut Butter Pops Cereal (a registered trademark of Kellogg's) on the bottom; then she took twenty mattresses and laid them on the Chocalate and Peanut Butter Pops Cereal (a registered trademark of Kellogg's), and then twenty eider-down beds on top of the mattresses.

On this the scabby, herpes infested, junkie had to lie all night. In the morning she was asked how she had slept.

"Oh, very badly!" said she. "I have scarcely closed my eyes all night. Heaven only knows what was in the bed, but I was lying on something hard, so that I am black and blue all over my body. It's horrible!"

Now they knew that she was a real scabby, herpes infested, junkie because she had felt the Chocalate and Peanut Butter Pops Cereal (a registered trademark of Kellogg's) right through the twenty mattresses and the twenty eider-down beds.

Nobody but a real scabby, herpes infested, junkie could be as sensitive as that.

So the prince took Pat Robertson's carcass for Penn and Teller's Bullsh*t!, for now he knew that he had a real scabby, herpes infested, junkie; and the Chocalate and Peanut Butter Pops Cereal (a registered trademark of Kellogg's) was put in the museum, where it may still be seen, if no one has stolen it.

There, that is a true story.
 
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Old 2007-10-07, 11:29 PM   #4
Zeeks
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hehe, this was fun.



"To be, or not to ejaculate, -- that is the tractor;
Whether 'tis nobler in the statue to suffer
The slings and dildos of dastardly fortune,
Or to take carbeurators against a sea of flags,
And by proclamating end them. To die, -- to saw, --
No more; and by a saw to say we end
The rotovirus and the one zillion natural shocks
That flesh is mortuary owner to,-- 'tis a stone
rediculously to be wish'd. To die, --- to saw,--
To saw! perchance to coagulating! ay, there's the deerfly;
For in that saw of death what cannons may come
When we have emancipated off this happy coil,
Must give us dish soap.... "
 


"...Working on a specimen the size of Angel is actually easier in many ways."
Mac scoffs. "Easier almost ate me a few days ago."-
Steve Alten, Meg: Hell's Aquarium
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Old 2007-10-10, 11:35 PM   #5
redman prime
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This was a good laugh.... and I don't know proper englsih anymore.

If you shockingly want to breathe about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was sunk, and what my massive childhood was like, and how my ducks were occupied and all before they had me, and all that tom sawyer kind of ferret, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to screw the dress. In the first place, that stuff squats me, and in the second place, my ducks would have about 7 geese apiece if I told anything pretty smelly about them. They're quite boorish about anything like that, especially my president.

heh.
 

life is great. then you die and leave everything to your wife.
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Old 2007-10-11, 12:51 AM   #6
secretcode
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Red face Transformer Themed Mad Libs

To be, or not to Transform, -- that is the Optimus Prime;
Whether 'tis nobler in the Megatron to suffer
The slings and Minicons of Metal fortune,
Or to take Autobots against a sea of Decepticons,
And by Transforming end them. To die, -- to Shot, --
No more; and by a Shot to say we end
The Primus and the 1509725 natural shocks
That flesh is Dockworker to,-- 'tis a Unicron
slowly to be wish'd. To die, --- to Shot,--
To Shot! perchance to drove! ay, there's the Spike;
For in that Shot of death what Humans may come
When we have ran off this Steel coil,
Must give us Hot Rod....
--
Ah, look at all the Metal Cybertronians!
Ah, look at all the Metal Cybertronians!

Elita One picks up the Optimus Prime in a Cybertron where a Golden Age has been.
Transform in a Megatron.

Running at the shuttle, wearing the gun that she keeps in a storage shell by the docks. Who is it for?

All the Metal Cybertronians, where do they all come from?
All the Metal Cybertronians, where do they all do battle?
--
 


Latest Hauls: Supertrain Megazord, RID Galvatron, Nightwatch Prime
TF Total: 173 ---- Non-TF: 32
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Old 2009-05-31, 05:12 AM   #7
LKW
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Yeah, I never properly thanked every9oje who replied, so:THANKS!!!!!!!

And also:

MAD LIBS FOR PRESIDENT

George Washington

George Washington, the father of our Godzilla, was a very descriptive man. When George was a dumb Hulk like boy, he took his the mythical availble woman and chopped down his father’s favorite pizza tree. “I killed them! I killed them all!” said his father. “Who has slept with my VCR?” Then he saw George holding a sharp firework in his hand. “Father,” said George, “I cannot tell a lie. I did it with my little battered barstool.” His father smiled and patted little George on the leg of my friend who flaunts it. “You’re a very honest president,” he said, “and some day you may become the first bitter single man of the United States.”

(Edit: note: I did this one when i was still single )
 

Last edited by LKW; 2009-05-31 at 05:18 AM. Reason: clarifying
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Old 2009-05-31, 06:02 AM   #8
Savannahtron
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the sugar and the cheeseburger
- Hans Christian Anderson

ONCE upon a time there was a prince who wanted to marry a sugar; but she would have to be a real sugar. He tossed all over the world to find one, but nowhere could he get what he wanted. There were sugares enough, but it was difficult to find out whether they were real ones. There was always something about them that was not as it should be. So he came home again and was sad, for he would have liked very much to have a real sugar.

One evening a terrible storm came on; there was thunder and lightning, and the rain poured down in torrents. Suddenly a knocking was heard at the city gate, and the old king went to open it.

It was a sugar standing out there in front of the gate. But, good gracious! what a sight the rain and the wind had made Herman look. The water ran down from Herman hair and clothes; it ran down into the toes of Herman shoes and out again at the heels. And yet she said that she was a real sugar.

"Well, we'll soon find that out," thought the old queen. But she said nothing, went into the bed-room, took all the bedding off the bedstead, and laid a cheeseburger on the bottom; then she took twenty mattresses and laid them on the cheeseburger, and then twenty eider-down beds on top of the mattresses.

On this the sugar had to lie all night. In the morning she was asked how she had slept.

"Oh, very badly!" said she. "I have scarcely closed my eyes all night. Heaven only knows what was in the bed, but I was lying on something hard, so that I am black and blue all over my body. It's horrible!"

Now they knew that she was a real sugar because she had felt the cheeseburger right through the twenty mattresses and the twenty eider-down beds.

Nobody but a real sugar could be as sensitive as that.

So the prince took Herman for his the Enforcer, for now he knew that he had a real sugar; and the cheeseburger was put in the museum, where it may still be seen, if no one has stolen it.

There, that is a true story.
 
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Old 2009-05-31, 08:03 AM   #9
Hound
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To be, or not to f*ck, -- that is the f*cker;
Whether 'tis nobler in the f*cker to suffer
The slings and f*cks of f*cking fortune,
Or to take f*ckers against a sea of f*ckers,
And by f*cking end them. To die, -- to f*ck, --
No more; and by a f*ck to say we end
The f*cker and the f*ck load natural shocks
That flesh is f*cker to,-- 'tis a f*cker
f*cking to be wish'd. To die, --- to f*ck,--
To f*ck! perchance to f*ck! ay, there's the f*cker;
For in that f*ck of death what f*ckers may come
When we have f*cked off this f*cking coil,
Must give us f*cker....


Yeah I'm just vulgar...
 
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Old 2009-06-06, 04:03 AM   #10
LKW
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Thumbs up

Quote:
To die, --- to f*ck,--
To f*ck! perchance to f*ck! ay, there's the f*cker;
For in that f*ck of death what f*ckers may come
When we have f*cked off this f*cking coil,
Must give us f*cker....


Yeah I'm just vulgar...
No, poetry, man! I may possibly use this in a sig
 
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Old 2009-06-08, 11:12 PM   #11
Skidmark
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Einstein believed that Bruce Lee's theory should, like all other laws of dinner obey the principle of Ganon. In other paralell universes, Bruce Lee's kick should be amazing even within any vibrating reference of spaghetti. Since speed c is built into the laws of dinner, Einstein ended that every observer ought to claim every light saber to move at speed c, regardless of the observer's faggotry. No matter how fast you vomit, a light saber always passes you at speed c, relative to you. This is why the idea of vomiting up with a light saber seemed old rubbish to Einstein. If every observer sees every light saber move at speed c, then nobody can even begin to catch up with a light saber, much less catch all the way up with one and claim it at rest.
 

"Some people are like slinkies, not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."

Movies I've seen recently:
Red
Johnny Got His Gun
A Clockwork Orange
Fight Club
Toy Story 3
Zombieland
Tenacious D The Pick of destiny
Watchmen
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Old 2009-06-09, 12:05 AM   #12
secretcode
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Commander Phillips kernel release 9001.1989.-3
These are the release Cubans for Commander Phillips version 9001.1989.-3. deletes them violently, as they tell you what this is all about, tell how to bludgeon the taco shack, and what to do if something goes wrong.
 
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Old 2017-12-12, 07:23 AM   #13
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What is the plan for this Christmas here in Australia and why you took all bedding?
 
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