Search found 1057 matches

by ~*ShadowDancer*~
Wed Jun 02, 2004 9:40 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: Sixy, a few questions if you dont mind
Replies: 54
Views: 4073

Originally posted by Tempest :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Claypool, the internets most wanted Bachelor ... In his sad, deluded little dreams perhaps. But never in real life, Tempest. Clay, you are showing yourself to be a complete jerk. I suppose it's your choice really but let me assure you, you'll win...
by ~*ShadowDancer*~
Wed Jun 02, 2004 8:02 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: New Thief game
Replies: 16
Views: 1323

Awesome game, absolutely awesome. I only have one nitpick - lockpicking is an excercise in frustration. :rant: Being a long-time Thief fan, I learned long ago that messing with guards is Not a Good Idea. :D Love the graphics and sound and the wall climbing's genius! Garrett has to be one of the best...
by ~*ShadowDancer*~
Sun May 30, 2004 6:28 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: New Ride
Replies: 26
Views: 2342

I think I'll stick with mini's ;) A relative of mine had a Corvette imported into the country, the insurance he paid I could have brought a decent sized house with! If I was heading into the sports cars field I'd go with a dark blue or black Lotus flame decals or 'insignia' anywhere thank...
by ~*ShadowDancer*~
Sat May 29, 2004 3:22 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: Opinion Hunting
Replies: 6
Views: 1363

Glad to know I'm not the only one, KTK :D

I'm up with NWN myself but then I've been a hardcore D&D fan for a very long time...
by ~*ShadowDancer*~
Sat May 29, 2004 1:35 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: Opinion Hunting
Replies: 6
Views: 1363

Opinion Hunting

Hi Guys & Gals, Just a quick many of you here have played Beyond Divinity and of those, if any, how many of you think it completely sucks? I've just spent an agonising 25 minutes installing it, watching the cheesiest pre-load movie in history and suffering the worst dialogue ever, got 5 ...
by ~*ShadowDancer*~
Sun May 16, 2004 8:16 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: One of the best Flash cartoons I've seen...
Replies: 6
Views: 1061


:wtf: :wall:
by ~*ShadowDancer*~
Wed May 12, 2004 9:22 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: What's your name?
Replies: 86
Views: 6030


Michelle - but 'Chelle is perfectly acceptable and very much preferred.

Or, just your friendly, neighbourhood ShadowDancer :D
by ~*ShadowDancer*~
Tue Apr 27, 2004 8:21 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: Reverse Questionairre
Replies: 103
Views: 6079

Originally posted by Optimus_Type-R
A) A university degree or $20,000

Q) Deferred gratification vs holiday in Bahamas.

A) Crazier than a crosswired Quintesson.
by ~*ShadowDancer*~
Mon Apr 26, 2004 10:18 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: Country of origin?
Replies: 48
Views: 2021

Birmingham England! (And proud of it.)

J's a Canadian of the NS variety.

And I got me a free ticket to Auto Assembly...the organiser works for one of my sister mags. *Dancy dancy* :D
by ~*ShadowDancer*~
Thu Apr 22, 2004 8:34 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: Oh Primus, no!
Replies: 15
Views: 1520

Smut aside guys - that shed show was my dads idea. He was watching it an militantly refused to change the godblasted channel.
by ~*ShadowDancer*~
Wed Apr 21, 2004 10:22 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: Oh Primus, no!
Replies: 15
Views: 1520

Oh Primus, no!

Ok, this goes in the 'really, really, really not good' box. The Discovery Channel (UK) are doing 'Garden Shed of The Year Awards' and televising it! :eek: Someone please hand me a gun...I don't deserve to die of boredom like this! It's inhumane...that's what it is, a cruel and unusual punishment. Me...
by ~*ShadowDancer*~
Tue Apr 20, 2004 9:32 pm
Forum: Transformers Media / Fandom
Topic: [FICTION] Missing in Action (WIP - Comments welcome)
Replies: 3
Views: 1574


Keep your eyes on this's gonna be a doozy and for once I actually have a *PLOT* :eek:

I'd really appreciate some crit. on this folks.

Thx! :D

by ~*ShadowDancer*~
Tue Apr 20, 2004 9:20 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: What did you do last night?
Replies: 13
Views: 1300

Drew a whole slew of new TF pics for my gallery on here and did some extra work on my new fanfic.

Yes, no thanks to Dean @ work (Model & Collectors Mart's Editor) and his new collection of Binaltech figures I'm on a major TF kick again...beware world ~*SD's*~ gone all artistic again!
by ~*ShadowDancer*~
Thu Apr 15, 2004 9:03 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: There are no words...
Replies: 23
Views: 1771

Re: Re: "Everybody's a critic..."

Originally posted by KillTheKids
Thanks, SD.

No prob :D

I really must find a 'pied' smilie...
by ~*ShadowDancer*~
Thu Apr 15, 2004 8:53 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: There are no words...
Replies: 23
Views: 1771

"Everybody's a critic..."

Originally posted by Ultimate Weapon I think its time for you to turn off the internet. I think it's time you offered positive input, not everyone is academically minded. For all we know KTK could be more the creative type. ;) Creatives generally don't fare well in academia, school is too rigid and...
by ~*ShadowDancer*~
Wed Apr 14, 2004 9:22 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: Reverse Questionairre
Replies: 103
Views: 6079

A) 2 naked women, the entire series of BW and Carnage in C-minor

Q) Things I don't want to find in J's closet ;)

A) An act of unsurpassed muppetry.
by ~*ShadowDancer*~
Wed Apr 14, 2004 8:23 pm
Forum: Transformers Media / Fandom
Topic: [FICTION] Missing in Action (WIP - Comments welcome)
Replies: 3
Views: 1574

I hope to continue it but, in my own inimitable style, it'll probably be added to my collection of unfinished tales. ;) I'll do as much as I can though - a little homework yielded no TF's with the aforementioned names so I believe I have a couple of true fan creations! *YaY* Yes, scutters - as in RD...
by ~*ShadowDancer*~
Tue Apr 13, 2004 9:19 pm
Forum: Transformers Media / Fandom
Topic: [FICTION] Missing in Action (WIP - Comments welcome)
Replies: 3
Views: 1574

Missing in Action (WIP - Comments welcome)

First off, I'm pleading creative license here so don't split hairs over characterisation ;) Secondly, can you tell me if any names, bar the obvious, have been used before?



Missing in Action:

The light swept the smoke darkened room; I crouched behind what remained of the generator, frozen to the spot. Had I have been human I would have been scared to draw breath or even blink. The faint whirring of machinery came again as the light passed within millimetres of my hands. There were definite disadvantages to being primarily white when trying to hide in a dark room. I prayed to Primus that the Decepticon would leave to scour the rest of the area and clearing my mind of the fear that sent the energon racing through my fuel lines I waited. Those few seconds felt like an eternity.

I heard the click of his step on the floor panelling as he turned away and took my chance. Transforming into my earth-vehicle mode I ‘floored it’ taking the seeker down hard as I struck the back of his legs with a numbing thud. As he hit the deck, I swerved out wide, transforming and drawing my weapons simultaneously. From nowhere I registered myself snarling, “Any last requests before I terminate your mechanical processes, you worthless piece of slag?!â€￾

The Decepticon came at me, lunging from his prone position on the floor in a fluid motion in an attempt to tackle me to the floor. I dived aside, falling into a roll and loosing a few warning shots his way in the process as I came to my feet. They went wide of the mark but his shots hit home taking out the upper section of my left arm and leaving it hanging, disabled from the shoulder joint downward. The seeker laughed maniacally and advanced on me, “Stupid, medic, very stupid. I shall enjoy ripping you apart, circuit by circuit.â€￾ The sadistic glint in his red optics unnerved me more than his words, I had never been any more than proficient in combat situations…that is why I had trained as a medic rather than a soldier. I still had a card to play though so I let him follow up on his taunt and pin me to the wall at gunpoint, apparently terrified.

He grinned, “With you out of commission it’ll be an easy ride to disable the rest of your comrades. Where shall I start…come on Ratchet, you’re trained in this.â€￾

Taking my cue I jammed my right fist hard into his abdominal region and administered a powerful dose of a corrosive agent. “How about on the floor, picking up what’s left of your main circuitry panelling, Skywarp?â€￾ I hissed, kicking him back away from me. I saw the steam rising from the area where I had injected the acid and threw his own self-satisfied grin back in his face before levelling off a few good-measure shots into his chest plating as he staggered backward.

A searing wave of heat cut through me from the side and the sudden horrified realisation of the trap I had fallen into hit home, hard. Skywarp looked at me and began to laugh a sound that was cut short as the damage I had inflicted on him caused his systems to shut down. The other seekers emerged from a nearby doorway, Thundercracker and Starscream, “Nice try Autobot but now the odds are two to one. Give it up.â€￾ Starscream demanded, waving a gun at me threateningly. Thundercracker stood behind him by a few paces and slightly to the left, calmly watching proceedings.

I backed up a step shaking my head and nursing the wound in my left side, “I never give up Decepticon. It takes more than a lucky shot to put me out of action…â€￾ Spinning on my heel, I transformed and sped off into the corridors of the abandoned industrial complex. In the space of five earth minutes I realised the futility of that action. I had lost too much energon to continue my flight and ground to a painful halt. Once again I tried my comm-link, still dead. Nothing but static answered my SOS.

I heard the clanging steps of the two remaining seekers coming hard behind me, I transformed and staggered into a nearby room sinking to my knees, the world was quickly taking on grey hues around me. I scrambled behind a toppled storage unit and willed myself to continue functioning as I made a slap-dash repair to the damage in my side panelling. It was enough to stem the flow of coolant. I had long since shut off all power and sensory circuitry in my left arm, looking it over it was obvious I couldn’t do anything with it in my present predicament.

“Where is he?!â€￾ the dulcet tones of Starscream demanded from a short distance away, “The fuel trail leads into this room, I told you he wouldn’t get far.â€￾ Came Thundercracker’s caustic retort, “Let’s get this over with.â€￾

I lay flat on my back behind the storage unit as they entered the room, my remaining weapon clutched fiercely in my right hand. An icy calm came over me; if I had to go out I was going to make my mark doing it. At least one seeker would go down with me. I just hoped that my comrades had fared better than I. Our ship had been shot down over Decepticon territory in Iacon as we made the final approach for landing. There was little hope for Bluestreak and Perceptor as the control console had literally gone up in their faces. Hot Rod and Iron Hide were most likely still operational as they had been in the rear quarter of the ship when it hit the ground; Mirage and Blaster were at the Comm Station so they stood a fair chance. I had been tending to a minor fault in the guidance systems in the ops room leaving me out of the blast radius and somewhat shielded from impact damage.

“Come out Autobot and we may consider making your demise a little less excruciating,â€￾ Thundercracker called. I switched to infrared vision and watched them stalking around the room. Turning over and edging forward a fraction to get a better view I psyched myself up and took aim, steadying my weapon against the edge of the storage unit. Discarding all notions of honour in combat, I took my shot hitting Starscream dead centre between the shoulders. I rounded on Thundercracker as he approached his stunned comrade, catching him in the leg as I came to my feet. “If you think you’ll take me out quietly you’re both very much mistaken,â€￾ I hissed, skirting my way around the edge of the room in the shadows as quietly as possible.

He took his shot, narrowly missing me however the brief illumination of the energy bolt gave my position away. Thundercracker discarded the limp form of Starscream and took a deliberate step in my direction, "C'mon Autobot. You can't hide in here forever. Come out, I'll make it easy for you, a disruptor bolt to the head. Quick, clean and painless…"

I had to commend the Decepticon on his attempt at diplomacy and the offer of a 'painless' demise, although it was blatantly obvious that his offer was an out and out lie. I had three options: surrender and die, fight and most likely die or make a break for it and die. There was only one certainty, any which way my number was up.

I stepped forward into his visual range, "Well Thundercracker, here I am." I muttered, casting my weapon to the ground, "Tell me one thing before I die mighty warrior, where is the glory in killing a wounded, weaponless Autobot who has no wish to fight?"

I saw the chilling sadistic spark in his optics as he took the weapon from the floor and approached, "There is no glory, Ratchet. Only the satisfaction that there's one less worthless Autobot in the galaxy to stand in our way." He returned.

I nodded, feeling the icy calm come over me again. The Decepticon raised his weapon level at my head. "Good bye, Ratchet."


Whiteout. Static hissed loudly in my audio receptors, as it cleared I could make out scraps of conversation: “Had we not found him the scutters would have sold him on as scrap or spare. Lucky find – I’m not…â€￾scratchy images began to filter through the snow clouding my optics, this took precedence over audio processing, I ran a basic diagnostic:

Down Time: Unknown
Current Cycle: 32
Location: Sector 7

Another voice returned, “True. Ah, back online good.â€￾ A shadow entered my peripheral vision, which was still grainy and in hues of grey, “Designation?â€￾ the figure queried. The graininess began to clear, designation: processing, “Ratchet – Chief Medical Officer. Designation 74285.â€￾ I returned. “Allegiance?â€￾ the voice prompted, the haze cleared from my optical circuits, a bright white light flooded my receptor circuits, the figure still loomed indistinctly at the edge of my sight, allegiance: processing. How in Primus name did I get here? “Autobot core, 5th Squadron. Earth Base.â€￾ I responded. “Core 5th?â€￾ came the incredulous reply.

I sat up and colour perception immediately kicked in, the figure at my side came sharply into focus providing an immediate shock, it was comprised of a collection of mismatched parts in several different colours – purple, yellow, teal – and bore no insignia whatsoever. I was immediately on my guard. “Core 5th,â€￾ I confirmed, “and you?â€￾

A pair of green and yellow optics settled on me, “Redlight, 12149. Cybertronian Free Alliance, Technician First Class.â€￾ He made a sweeping gesture in the direction of his comrade, another collection of mismatched parts in orange, blue and white, “That’s Speedshift, the core was disbanded in the 17th cycle. Welcome back.â€￾ He extended a hand in greeting, “The fifth was recorded lost…â€￾ Speedshift approached at this point, he was an exact replica of Springer just a distinctly different colour scheme. He cast an appraising gaze over me, “So you’ve got some explaining to do.â€￾

That was the catch; I didn’t know how I’d got here. Deciding that a run down of that fateful flight was the best place to start I proceeded: “I was on a recon run to the surface, Iacon. Ship was taken out by enemy fire. I survived impact and went for help, never made it back to the ship.â€￾

“We know that,â€￾ he snapped, “Found you in sector 4. Deactivated. Check your logs, what’s your last recorded cycle?â€￾

I did as he asked and the result nearly floored me, “12th cycle?! By Primus!â€￾ I clutched at the repair bench for support, my current log registered 32nd cycle. I’d been offline for 20 cycles! “Where the hell am I?â€￾ was my stunned response, in strangely human vernacular. “Moonbase 3.â€￾ Speedshift bit back. Moonbase three? Something was wrong here, Cybertron only had two natural satellites and the third was Unicron’s head. My cerebral circuits were evidently scrambled, I’d gone mad. “There is no Moonbase three.â€￾ I muttered.

Once again Redlight came to the rescue, “Speedshift ease off the accelerator. This ‘bot’s been OOC’d since before either of us came online. Ratch, check back – Unicron destroyed the first two, correct?â€￾ I nodded agreement, he continued, “Moonbase 3 is the reconstituted remains of them.â€￾ Ok, well that was feasible after all, it’d take some pretty spectacular electromagnetics and a large antigrav array, but it was possible, “And it’s the 32nd cycle, I’ve been OOC for 20 cycles?â€￾ Redlight nodded, “Your I.D is PD I take it?â€￾ I must have looked confused, “Public domain – you were registered on activation?â€￾

I couldn’t remember that far back, in fact I couldn’t remember past the shuttle crash. I shrugged, “No idea.â€￾ Redlight nodded and motioned me to follow him to a nearby console: “You remember how to use these things? It’s an uplink to the mainframe at the hall of records, key in your designation. It’ll fill in the gaps in your memory banks.â€￾ He grinned in a way entirely reminiscent of Hot Rod. I complied, running my digits swiftly across the keys:

Designation 74285

The VDU buzzed into life, records scrolling on through the database at truly incredible speeds. It eventually slowed, highlighting the matching data string. I paused, a cold knot forming inside my fuel lines; did I want to know? Keying in a long disused security code I called the information up on the main screen:

Name: Ratchet
Designation: 74285
Rank: Technician First Class, Medical Core
Faction: Autobot alliance, 5th Squadron.

Registered: 2nd cycle
Deactivated: 12th cycle. Circumstances unknown – Missing in Action.

Current location: Unknown.

The list went on, I scrolled through recording every single scrap. The flight from Cybertron to Earth, the Unicron wars, the deactivation of Optimus Prime and instatement of Rodimus Prime, the flight from Earth to Cybertron. Everything came flooding back to me through the images and information on the screen. Up linking had always been a tiring process but at these speeds my circuitry was running at burnout levels. I terminated the connection and stood there for a moment letting everything register.

Speedshift stood off to one side, watching me with barely concealed suspicion. “I still say he’s a construct.â€￾ He threw a pistol at me, “Use it, if you can.â€￾ I must admit I was more than shocked at this; I threw it back at him full well knowing why he’d done it, responding with a curt “No.â€￾ He smiled slightly at my reaction, “So it is true. You were a pacifist.â€￾

“No, I am a pacifist.â€￾ I laid the stress on ‘am’, “And I’m not a construct either. If you claim to know so much about me, tell me why I won’t use the gun.â€￾ I grated. Redlight watched with interest knowing that despite my well-known short fuse I’d do anything to get out of a fight once one was brewing. Speedshift levelled the weapon at me; I raised my hands in a gesture of warding murmuring, “Easy, easy.â€￾ “Speedshift…â€￾ Redlight’s voice held a note of warning, but he made no move to disarm his comrade.

The shot came but blazed straight past me burning a hole in the wall. I dived to the side, taking shelter behind a second console, the ‘bot whirled around snarling, “Get out here and fight!â€￾ and peppering everything in my immediate vicinity with gunfire. A thought crossed my mind bringing a smile. Edging my way around behind him under cover of the equipment I took a shot at him, it hit luckily enough, the electromagnetic pulse sending him into a seizure. I got to my feet casting a puzzled look in Redlight’s direction, “Any danger of an explanation, Redlight?â€￾

Redlight approached the now still form of his comrade and knelt to inspect the damage I’d inflicted, I edged my bets and chose to assist him in the task. As I knelt beside the fallen robot Redlight cast me a cool glance querying with a note of amusement, “Was this really necessary, Ratchet?â€￾ I grimaced, “I don’t take kindly to weapons being pointed in my direction. Now, what about that explanation?â€￾

Hefting Speedshift’s considerable bulk onto the repair bench I had recently occupied my host and would-be benefactor returned gravely, “As soon as I’ve got him back amongst the land of the functioning I’ll be after one myself.â€￾ He shrugged, “I must say, that was a very novel use of medi-tech thoughâ€￾ his previously grave expression broke into an irrepressible grin, I joined him and returned, “That’s practically the oldest trick in the databanks, just hit him with a positive charge. That should bring him around.â€￾ Redlight nodded, acting on my advice and remarking in the process, “Keep that gun on him, it should do nicely as insurance against a repeat performance.â€￾

I picked up the weapon Speedshift had dropped giving it a brief once over, it seemed to be a basic de-crystalliser pistol so had it have hit me the effect would only have been temporary anyway. My chassis was reinforced with a high-density trilithium carbide alloy – as was Iron Hide’s – making us both all but impervious to standard issue weaponry such as this but vulnerable to extreme heat, a necessary bonus of my role as Medic and his as an extreme combat specialist. I held the gun at the ready, the barrel resting lightly against Speedshift’s head.

He came to within moments of the charge up and froze seeing the gun trained on him and the intentional cold glint in my optics. Redlight downed tools and stalked over to the bench, “What in Prime’s name was that about, S?â€￾

He didn’t answer but struck the weapon from my hand and swung himself to his feet. Redlight was there in an instant, restraining him. The ‘bot scowled darkly, “It’s too damn convenient, Red. Too convenient by a light year – he invented the device in the first instance, so you run checks on his loc. and config and then, wonder of wonders, he turns up after 20 cycles in some scutter back alley and comes online in 5 clicks!â€￾

I was intrigued but kept my mouth shut, so these two mismatched individuals had been on a recon with the sole intention of digging up my corroded chassis, or not as the case was – non-ferrous metals were wonderful things. Couldn’t help but wonder what this ‘device’ was though, I’d left configs and full blueprints for all of my more mainstream inventions in the medtech library when we returned after the Unicron wars. What had they got their hands on?

Redlight tapped his digits on a nearby console rhythmically, making it more than evident that he’d been subjected to this tirade before. “Park it!â€￾ he muttered, irritation evident in his tone, “Regardless how ‘convenient’ this is Ratchet is who he appears to be.â€￾ I interjected at this point, “Run a full diagnostic on me if you want, I am ‘the real McCoy’ as humans would sayâ€￾ I smiled wryly, still curious about the set up, “Sorry about the electromag pulse Speedshift, I have this aversion to ‘bots waving weapons at me. Makes me develop an itchy trigger digit.â€￾ I grinned.

Speedshift rounded on me growling, his yellow optics narrowed in slits of rage, “Don’t bother trying to be funny and don’t even think about getting out of here because it isn’t happening, the surface electron field would wipe your slate in nanoseconds. We’ve been holed up in this slagpit for 3 cycles already on account of it.â€￾

“One more episode like that and I’ll wipe yours,â€￾ I returned in quietly even tones, my energon was now up and the good-cop bad-cop bit was really grating on my nerves, “You - Back it up!â€￾ I ordered, pushing Speedshift away from me, “And you, tell me what in the name of Cybertron is going on!â€￾ I waved an accusing index at Redlight. He regarded me with a cool but amused yellow-green gaze and nodded, returning quietly “Cool your transistors Ratchet – Speedshift, take a walk. We can’t afford to lose another ally to your antisocial tendencies.â€￾ He finished, motioning in no uncertain terms that his comrade should make a sharp exit before either of us decided to do something we’d regret.

I couldn’t get my cerebral circuitry round these two “What sort of jerryrig have you set me up for?â€￾ I demanded icily, folding my arms as Speedshift took his leave. “Nothing you can’t deal with, Ratchetâ€￾ the technician replied smoothly, “As Speedshift said, we’ve been stuck in this bunker for far too long. Both of us are a little tightly wound in the gearing about it. I’ve spent the last 1.5 cycles hunting for you for the simple reason that without your assistance we’ll all be stuck in here until we hit permanent downtime.â€￾

Ok, I took a moment to get my grey matter around this. This ‘bot had spent the best part of two cycles looking for me in the hope that I could fix them up with a way out of the bunker. Fine, I could deal with that, “So, care to fill me in on things then? What’s the problem?â€￾ I queried, dropping the hostile façade – it was the least convincing of my many acts anyway.

Redlight shrugged and sheepishly scratched at the back of his head with a smile, “You’d best sit down Ratch,…that’ll take a good few clicks of your uptime to do.â€￾


“So, let me get this straight. You’ve run up a carbon copy of the MagGen rig, fully aware that Wheeljack had more than passing input into it and that it’s about as stable as a Junkion on Synth?â€￾

Redlight nodded, looking all the part of the crestfallen student, “That’s pretty much the sum of it, Ratch.â€￾ I laughed for the first time in several millennia, “And no-one told you it was experimental technology, that it had only been field tested once and on that day it blew a hole the size of Unicron’s ego in a small earthern desert?â€￾

“Wheeljack was a genius…â€￾ the young ‘bot cast a confused gaze my way, evidently put out by my laughing fit. “He was, in theory. Always in theory – truly an astounding intellect, but in practice he was the cause of more visits to repair bay for Autobots than any ‘con on the field.â€￾ I explained with a wide grin, “His inventions were well known for their self-destructive tendencies – and avoided like rust on that account.â€￾

My host clearly didn’t see the amusement in this revelation and buried his face in his palms with a groan and a muttered curse – of course, I being the all round nice-‘bot that I am was less than surprised at this reaction and thus said nothing. It had, after all, been a gesture I’d perfected in my dealings with those on the business end of Wheeljack’s inventions. I clapped Redlight on the shoulder, “Hey, look – you’re still functioning and believe me, where the MagGen’s concerned that’s a miracle. I’ll do what I can, but you’ll need to get me planetside so I can find parts and kit suitable. My med-tech kit’s hardly upto the job. It’s 20 cycles out of date!â€￾

He looked up, his yellow green optics registering complete surprise, “Planetside! If Wheeljack was crazy, what does that make you? The place is infested with ‘cons, Ratchet!â€￾

“Your last, best and only hope…?â€￾ I returned, doing my best 20th Century ‘ham’ act and borrowing a line from a very well known film of the time. It was his turn to laugh, “You know, Ratch, you’re in the right line of work. You’re a real cut up yourself!â€￾ and the others said my attempts at joke telling were bad? Shoot me, they weren’t that bad. I groaned audibly sending Redlight into further gusts of laughter, thankfully he calmed down in a few moments and nodded, “Leave it with me, Ratchet. Long-range transporters are offline but I’ll probably be able to call Streamline to fly you in, he has an inbuilt transporter.â€￾

Transporters were offline? The MagGen was certainly behind that. As the core became more unstable it’d take in as much energy as it could, routing it to the stabiliser system which would doubtless fail and go up in a spectacular ball of flames and shredded metal taking the base and half the moon with it. Redlight had already told me that it was wired into the bases main power grid, a surefire method of ensuring disaster. I nodded and ventured, “If you have schematics for your grid system I’ll take a look at it, I might be able to re-jig it and get the base running on more than aux. back-ups.â€￾

A voice returned from the doorway, “Schematics are for authorised personnel only.â€￾ It was Speedshift, he stood in the doorway glaring at me. I made a mental note to get his grievance out in the open biting back, “As an Autobot Elite I am the most senior individual here…â€￾ I intentionally left it hanging, now pulling rank isn’t my usual tactic but this ‘bot needed taking down a few levels. “The core’s history and so is your rank.â€￾ He strode over to me wearing a smug expression and sneered, “You’re nothing now, you don’t even rank over a replicator.â€￾

I clenched my jaw, I would not be goaded into a fight, “Well, this ‘nothing’ is responsible for getting your sorry tinplate aft end off this damned rock. So, unless you’re gonna help me out with that stay the hell out of my way,â€￾ I snapped, my voice rising in anger.

I didn’t quite know what hit me, but then as I reoriented myself it registered – Speedshift’s fist. The ‘bot stood with his fists still clenched, “Lesson One: Don’t threaten me,â€￾ He grated. I shook my head to clear the hiss from my audio receptors. Despite my pacifistic tendencies he had overstepped the mark and it would not go unanswered. I returned the favour giving him five good reasons to follow my advice right in the midsection and following up by wrenching him to a standing position and pinning him against the wall. “Optic to optic, pal. If you have a problem with me spit it out…but for your own sake don’t try that again.â€￾

Redlight grabbed my shoulder and wrenched me away, yellow green optics filled with fury; “Same goes for you, Ratchet, put it on ice.â€￾ I held up my hands in a gesture of apology and backed off a little. Speedshift shrugged, still wearing that infuriatingly superior expression, and stalked off to the other side of the room. “Don’t think for a click that this is over…â€￾ I muttered quietly. Redlight cast me a warning glance through narrowed optics remarking quietly, “Enough Ratchet, let him go. I’ll set your clearance up and take you through the system.â€￾

I forced myself to calm down and followed Redlight to the comm-terminal to view the grid layout. It turned out to be no more elaborate than what I’d been used to working on in the past, a swift up link session put me upto speed on the layout of the base and I took my leave headed to the ops room to start sorting things out.


This rig had definitely seen better days, I mused, winding my way through the dimly lit corridors. Wires hung from open access panels on the walls, a few components sparked and hissed amongst them. The first few times it’d caught me unaware and I’d found my hand going for the gun I didn’t have but after a short while I’d acclimatised to the place.

Alone and thankfully undisturbed I was able to put my full attention into the matter at hand. I was soon lost in a mental maze of wiring charts, relay link ups and LED based displays but it was bliss, no Redlight shadowing my every move and no Speedshift – that last one was the clincher. Speedshift…what was his problem? He went hostile if I so much as looked in his direction, it was almost as if I was a threat to him in some way. I absentmindedly primed another relay and welded it into place and began humming a tuneless something or other as I did so.

My fuel lines suddenly ran cold. Humming, that simple thing, had brought the weight of my situation crashing down on my head like a hundred tons of lead dropped from a great height. Jazz used to hum when he was working, always the latest track in his rock collection – I remembered the words of the last one vividly it was Innuendo by a human group called Queen:

“While we live according to race, colour or creed
Driven by blind madness and pure greed
Our lives dictated by tradition, superstition - false religion
Through the aeons and on and on
We’ll keep on trying. Tread that fine line –
Yes, we’ll keep on trying, to the end of time.

If there’s a god or any kind of justice under the sky,
If there’s a point, if there’s a reason to live or die
If there’s an answer to the questions we feel bound to ask
Show yourself, destroy our fears, release your mask.â€￾

It could almost have been an anthem for us both. Jazz was long deactivated and little more than a flicker in the memory banks of Redlight and Speedshift, nothing more than a name as were all my one-time brothers in arms. I was more alone now than I ever had been.

That revelation shook me to the core of my being; I involuntarily dropped the welder on the floor and followed it down sinking to my knees. I was the last ‘bot standing, the most unlikely candidate for survival, the medic – the pacifist…the easy target. By the Matrix, what could I do?! I was no hero, merely a medicbot all the honours and qualifications meant nothing now. My Cybertron, my homeworld – everything was lost to me, Primus, didn’t I know it.

The whirr of an approaching engine brought me out of my stunned reverie, I turned to see an armoured medical field transport approaching the livery left no margin for error as to who it was, Redlight. All illusions of peace were shattered, he transformed a few feet away and called over, “Need any help here?â€￾

I picked up the welder and lowered my visor again, presenting an austere front and gestured to the panel I’d delved into, “Not really, but feel free if you’re at a loose end. Things seem pretty clear cut on this one, Redlightâ€￾ He wasted no time in getting to grips with things and was promptly up to his elbow joints in the same mess of connectors and relays as I was. I watched him work from behind the safety of the visor wondering if I was ever that confident in my work. Sure, I’d acted the part around the others but every job I did, every repair I carried out left me wondering if there wasn’t a better way of doing it. Every ‘bot I’d let down over the millennia or put into stasis lock was another failure to the list and I couldn’t deal with that. These two were relying on me; I had to come up with the goods on this one. Failure wasn’t an option.


These mist-covered mountains
Are a home now for me,
But my home is the lowlands
And always will be.
Some day we'll return to
Our valleys and farms,
And we'll no longer burn
To be brothers in arms.

Through these fields of destruction
My Baptism of fire
I've witnessed the suffering
As the battles raged higher.
And though they did hurt me so bad
In the fear and alarm
I did not desert you
My brothers in arms.

There's so many different worlds
So many different suns
And we have just one world
But we live in different ones.

Now the sun's gone to hell
And the moon's riding high,
Let me bid you farewell
Every one has to die.
But it's written in the starlight
And every line on your palm,
We're fools to make war
On our brothers in arms. - (Dire Straits, Brothers in Arms)

I looked out over the vast metallic landscape, the deserted, burned out remains of Iacon and sang softly remembering all that had been - the spires of the stadium, the impossibly high walkways, the great golden dome. All now lay in ruins the shattered, blasted remains of the great buildings hiding the cruelly twisted remains of the fallen; the innocents caught in the crossfire of the Autobot-Decepticon hate war. The sight grabbed me forcibly by the throat tearing a quiet but agonised moan from my vocal processor; I switched the VDU off returning it to a neutral field of stars in denial.

“I just raised Streamline for you, he’s on surveillance over PolyHex, said he’ll be here in 180 clicks,â€￾ Redlight called over from the comm station distracting me from my dark thoughts. I’d done what I could for their power grid array it was now considerably more stable than previous. In fact the lighting hadn’t flickered for the last 45 clicks, in all it’d probably brought them another 7 sols time here before things went aft end up. His next question caught me completely off-guard, “Do you always sing whilst your working, Ratch?â€￾

Looking up briefly I found myself at a loss for words and managed a slight non-committal shrug, “Helps pass the time and keeps my thought processes off the gore I typically find myself surrounded by, but no, I don’t always sing.â€￾ I finished with a barely perceptible smile. Redlight spun round on the chair getting to his feet with a grace I couldn’t hope to match with my cumbersome styling; “I’ll doubtless be needing any hardware you can spare me, Red.â€￾

The ever-present Speedshift turned from his own station, which was from what I figured surveillance, and surprisingly answered by query reasonably, “Yeah, yeah Ratchet. Red wouldn’t send you to hell without back up.â€￾ He managed a futile grin evidently trying to gloss over his ‘issues’ with my continued presence in the base; “Armoury’s all yours. Shall I do the honours Red?â€￾ he shot the last over to his comrade simultaneously getting to his feet. Redlight cast me a warning glance as if to say Don’t even think about it…and returned evenly, “Fine by me, S.â€￾

Thus I found myself in the company of the last ‘bot on Cybertron I’d want to be in the same room as at the present moment in time and I evidently had no say in the matter whatsoever. I returned Red’s look with one of equal measure that bordered on an open scowl, he turned away leaving me to scowl at his teal panelled door array. Turning my attention to my latest annoyance I huffed, “Right, let’s get this over with shall we?â€￾ Speedshift merely smirked, “Of course.â€￾


We stalked through the corridors from Repair Bay, or rather I stalked, Speedshift was slightly ahead of me and thankfully hadn’t said more than six words since we’d started out. From what my sensor array was telling me we were about 2km under ground now and barring the dim lights along the walls it was practically pitch black. I’d switched to infra-red at the last doorway, which was ‘ten foot thick steel plate’ and ‘deadlocked as soon as it shut’ apparently– something my guide had taken great pleasure in telling me. These guys had evidently done a lot of homework, since the cave in on Gamma VII I’d had this morbid fear of enclosed places but then being trapped under half a mountain in the pitch black with Primus alone knows what after your energon’ll do that to a ‘bot. Four days, for Primus-forsaken days I’d been down there. No comm-link, no sensor array, no GPS…to put it succinctly I’d thought my goose was cremated, lest alone cooked. The guys had come through for me though and I’d got out of it. Spent several days in Repair Bay for my troubles but I was out and functioning. I’d never been so glad to see the sky – even if it was rust red.

We arrived at the armoury door after what seemed like an interminable trudge through the endless labyrinth of corridors and for some strange reason I found myself thinking about the Minotaur myths of earth. Speedshift keyed in the unlock code on the security console and ushered me inside. The room was a very plain affair, dull grey–blue metal walls, riveted of course, glinted in the dim fluorescent lighting around and on said walls were arranged a considerable number of secure weapons cabinets. I must admit that I felt distinctly uncomfortable in these surroundings. I usually carried no more weaponry than was absolutely necessary so to be here and gearing up with whatever I had knowledge or authorisation enough to use – well, it brought a shudder on to say the very least. I took my chances with a frag grenade launcher and a light cannon.

Speedshift stood around watching me with more than a glimmer of amusement in his optics, “Got the hardware but couldn’t hit the broad side of a storage tanker on a clear day at point-blank range…â€￾ he taunted, “Still, you’ll look the part even if you don’t play it.â€￾ I really couldn’t be bothered to take the bait and so returned in a pleasantly sarcastic tone, “Oh, shut up.â€￾ After a further few minutes I’d gathered munitions for my new arsenal and had everything stowed securely in my sub-space compartments.

by ~*ShadowDancer*~
Tue Apr 06, 2004 9:26 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: Reverse Questionairre
Replies: 103
Views: 6079

Originally posted by Strafe
[Q]What is food you'd only find at a State Fair?


*Pies Strafe for breaking continuity* Oi you! :D


A) The Sphinx

Q) The only non triangular monument on the Giza plain is..?

A) Innuendo
by ~*ShadowDancer*~
Tue Apr 06, 2004 8:57 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: Reverse Questionairre
Replies: 103
Views: 6079

Reverse Questionairre

Aim of the game, provide a question to the answer below and then pose an answer of your own for others to follow suit with - let's see what weirdness we can conjure up. ;) NB - once a question is provided for my answer move on to the next answer. Thus: A) Cast iron Pineapples One of you lot: What ob...