09 May 05: Mayhem
Posted: Tue May 10, 2005 3:36 am
The show opens with a video montage of the winners from Archivemania.
Joey: With Archivemania officially on the books and a new champion crowned, we return back to the US of A from the Tweeter Center in Camden, New Jersey.
There are certain things in life that you can stop
And there are certain things in life that can’t be stopped
Let’s go
The arena goes black and the lights flash all over the stage, but Vin Ghostal does not come through the curtains.
Styles: “You think Vin Ghostal will actually be man enough to come out here and admit that he lost to Xille at ArchiveMania?”
Flec: “I hope he’s here to call out the crooked referee that let it happen!”
Styles: “Man, you never stop.”
After a few moments, the music stops, and the crowd seems confused until the sounds of a collegiate marching band begin to fill the arena! Slowly but surely, a black-and-gold-clad marching band marches through the curtains and lines the entrance ramp on both sides, playing a boisterous victory song similar to Jim Ross’ entrance theme. Once the entire marching band has taken their places, Vin Ghostal emerges through the curtains wearing a black suit with bright gold pinstripes, smiling broadly and waving to his hometown crowd.
Cliffjumper: “Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome…from Camden, New Jersey…Vin Ghostal!!!”
Styles: “Not exactly a hero’s reception, I’d say.”
Millions of pieces of gold confetti pour from the rafters and cover the audience and ring area as Vin Ghostal struts to the ring, takes the microphone from CJ, and stares out over the audience, raising his hands in victory as the gold confetti rains down around him and the marching band stops playing.
V3: “Jersey’s favorite son has come home!!!!!”
The crowd’s deafening boos signify that the great fans of New Jersey aren’t extremely happy to see Ghostal.
V3: “V.3….the Lone Living Legend…the most decorated athlete in AWF history…has finally…finally…finally come home!!!!!”
Styles: “Vin’s Jersey brethren don’t seem too thrilled to see him.”
Flec: “Quiet, Styles! Vinny’s here to drop a bombshell, I know it!”
V3: “ArchiveMania has come and gone, but I didn’t come out here to bore you people with the story of how I stole the show. I didn’t come out here to remind you how I put on, once again, one of the greatest performances in AWF history.”
Crowd: “X….X….X….X…X…X…X…”
Ghostal looks out at the crowd, bemused. He raises the microphone to his mouth, but the chants for Xille become even louder. Ghostal smiles and shakes his head, then continues.
V3: “You people are just as disrespectful as ever. Now I remember why I moved to New York.”
The crowd boos violently.
V3: “I have an announcement that’s going to shock the world. An announcement that’s going to change the course of the AWF forever. An announcement regarding the AWF World Heavyweight Championship. This week, the AWF held a special 16-man tournament in Rio de Janeiro, Argentina, in order to determine a new #1 Contender for the AWF World Heavyweight Championship. The winner would have to go through four different men, all in one night, just for the chance to become World Heavyweight Champion. It was brutal…it was vile…it was one of the most grueling, taxing nights in my entire career.”
Styles: “I didn’t hear anything about a tournament…”
Flec: “Don’t get upset just because you weren’t invited, Styles!”
V3: “But I have good news. On that dark, smoky night in Rio de Janeiro, the greatest superstar any of you have seen or will ever see put together the most heroic performance in wrestling history, and when the dust settled and the smoke cleared…..the Lone Living Legend was left standing!!! That’s right…Vin Ghostal is, once again, the #1 Contender for the AWF World Heavyweight Championship!!!”
The crowd boos mercilessly once again.
V3: “And we all know what that means. I have never once failed when I’ve had the opportunity to regain what’s mine. Everyone in the audience, everyone watching at home, everyone in the back…and especially Viewfind…knows that it’s only a matter of time before the Lone Living Legend becomes the first 4-time world champion in AWF history!!! What do you think about that?!?”
Styles: “This is ridiculous!!! There wasn’t any tournament!!!”
Flec: “That’s not true! I saw it! I was there!”
Styles: “You’re just as much of a liar as he is, Flec, and you know it!”
Vin Ghostal smiles pompously as the crowd boos.
V3: “I know what you’re thinking. He looks much too pristine, much too flawless, much too handsome to have been through that kind of hell. And I will admit, it’s a small miracle that I look this good. You can thank modern medicine and the incredible genetics that made me what I am today. I can’t…”
Just then, “High Wire Escape Artist” hits and Xille comes through the curtains, holding a microphone. The crowd cheers the man who defeated Vin Ghostal by the narrowest of margins at ArchiveMania IV.
X: “I learned a long, long time ago that if there’s one person in the AWF that you shouldn’t trust, it’s Vin Ghostal. I know that your word is worth even less than those cheap suits you buy. And if there’s one thing I know, it’s that there was no tournament! If there was any tournament to find a #1 Contender, you know that the X would be a part of it, because if memory serves, it was just a few days ago that I put your shoulders to the mat for the 1-2-3.”
V3: “There was a tournament! There WAS!”
X: “There WAS NO TOURNAMENT!”
V3: “You don’t believe me? You don’t believe me? No one calls Vin Ghostal a liar! No one! I’ll prove to each and every one of you that I’m telling the truth. Next week, in this very ring, I will prove to each and every one of you skeptics that I am everything I say I am, that I am the Lone Living Legend, and that I am the next AWF World Heavyweight Champion. Next week, I will bring the proof. I will bring the evidence that will show, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that V.3. deserves a chance to be the World Heavyweight Champion once again, and that V.3. has earned that chance.”
Vin Ghostal drops the microphone, and his music begins to play as he and Xille have a tense, distant staredown.
Redstreak vs OP2005
Welcome to my nightmare
I think you’re gonna like it
I think you’re gonna feel like you belong…
Flec: “Ack – I knew it was too much to hope that Cloud would kill this loon at ArchiveMania…”
Joey: “Now, that’s not fair. OP has been with this fed for a long time, and he’s never been less than a great competitor. He has the strength of an elephant, the speed of a jaguar…”
Flec: “And the mind of a five-year-old.”
Cliffy: “This squabble is set for one fall, and is for…absolutely no reason whatsoever. Why the hell am I here again? Urk - !” >adjusts pacemaker< “Better. Now, making his way down here, from somewhere up north, he’s really tall and heavy, and is ‘Thy Worst Nightmare’ – though quite why he’d be in your dreams is a subject I’d really rather not touch – OP2005!”
Welcome To My Nightmare plays away as the Highlander from Hell strides purposefully down to the ring. Multiple post-AM cuts and bruises are still visible on his form, and he steps through the ropes with a bit more care than usual.
Joey: “OP still showing the scars from his climactic battle with CloudStrifer at ArchiveMania, and you’ve got to wonder whether he’ll be 100% tonight.”
Flec: “He hasn’t been 100% in the brain for a long damn time, and it hasn’t knocked his game, so why would it make a difference now?”
Cliffy: “And the other guy…from Detroit, weighing considerably lighter than the fat-arse that’s currently sharing the ring with me…yeah, that’s right, I said you’re fat. What’re you gonna do about it? Oh, right, glare at me. I’m oh-so intimidated right now. And what’s this other guy called again? Oh, yeah, it’s him…Redstreak!”
Hands are shakin’, got your finger on the trigger
Jesus ain’t complainin’, gonna figure it out
Somebody r***d my tapeworm abortion
Come on motherf***ers and deliver the cow…
As Sucker Train Blues hits, The Streak hits the ramp to a warm ovation, making his typical ‘number-one’ gesture. He high-fives a couple of fans on his way down, before sliding under the bottom rope and into the ring.
Joey: “Redstreak was also a bit unlucky at ArchiveMania, having failed to capture the IC title from Divebomb…”
Flec: “Which just proves how much of a hack ‘Streak is. I mean, how crap must you be to lose to that traitor, that infidel…that jezebel!”
Joey: “Can that term actually be used for people who aren’t female?”
Flec: “Who said that Divebum had nuts?”
Joey: “…Moving along.”
Redstreak steps into the ring, and the bell is quickly rung as OP2005, with an unearthly shriek, comes a-running toward him. Red ducks an early try for The Shining, and similarly evades a follow-up clothesline, before tapping his skull and winking at the crowd in a smarmy manner. He turns back to face his opponent, grinning, and is caught in Doc Op’s arms, before being planted by a strong Spinebuster!
Joey: “Wow! I think the arena shook with that impact!”
Flec: “I think your brain shook, before it fell out your skull.”
OP follows up by trying to eat Red’s arm. The ref, naturally, puts a stop to this before anyone is unnecessarily amputated. Redstreak backs off into a corner, regarding OP as you would a rabid clown with a switchblade.
Joey: “What kind of ring strategy do you call that?”
Flec: “I call it rendering the opponent ‘armless. Ahahahaaa!”
Joey: “How do you get to sleep at night, after making jokes like that all day?”
Flec: “It’s difficult at times…”
After screaming again, OP charges Streak once more, but this time Red dodges out of the way, leaving OP to attempt a Spear on the turnbuckle. Speeding flesh meets stationary steel. Flesh comes off worse. OP grimaces in pain, cradling his left shoulder with his right hand. Red, hoping to capitalise, plants a Dropkick firmly in the Highlander’s back, jamming OP’s shoulder even tighter against the turnbuckle and gaining a sharp cry of agony from him.
Joey: “I can’t bear to watch…”
Flec: “’Cause you’re a sissy-boy. Maim ‘im!”
Joey: “I presume you’re calling to Redstreak?”
Flec: “I’m not especially bothered about which one suffers, really.”
Redstreak hooks up a Schoolboy roll-up on OP, but the big man kicks out after 2. He squirms on the mat afterward, though, still nursing his arm. Red grabs the injured limb and gives it a quick twist, keeping OP grounded, before locking in a Fujiwara Armbar. OP flails, but does eventually reach the ropes.
Joey: “Close one for OP; he’s got to try and keep that arm away from ‘Streak as much as possible…”
Flec: “Supplying aid for the blind, are you? Or just hoping that the dolt in the ring will hear you?”
Red pulls Doc Op up and whips him to the ropes; OP reverses and sends ‘Streak to the ropes instead, looking for a Back Toss on the return. Red counters by nailing OP with a DDT, and goes for a cover again; once more, OP kicks out after 2. Red punches the mat in disappointment, before deciding to head upstairs. He climbs to the top rope and waits for OP to get up…
Joey: “Red introducing some variety to his game with a touch of high-flying, here.”
Redstreak leaps at the standing OP, looking for a Diving Cross Body; OP catches him, though, and connects with a Fallaway Slam.
Flec: “Needless to say, he should’ve stuck with what he knew.”
Red stumbles up, leaning against the ropes for balance as OP rushes forward…and connects with The Shining! Redstreak tumbles over the top rope and out of the ring, as OP takes a moment to massage his shoulder before stepping over the ropes and following The Streak. Red pulls himself up onto all fours just as OP delivers a big hammer-like Axe Handle blow to his spine, driving ‘Streak back down to the floor again. OP pulls Red up and pops him over his left shoulder, before dropping ‘Streak neck-first onto the security barrier!
Joey: “Ouch!”
Flec: “He won’t be backing Pavarotti anytime soon.”
Red collapses, holding his throat, as OP looks around…and grins as he spots the ring stairs. He grabs ‘Streak and whips him toward them…only for Red to reverse it, yanking OP by his injured arm. OP spins around slightly as he barrels toward the stairs, and his shoulder absorbs most of the impact! He lets out a quick yell before falling. Back in the ring, the ref’s count has reached 5.
Joey: “After that hit, Red could get back in the ring and win by count-out, I reckon.”
Flec: “That’d be likely if he’s not a total idiot. Guess what I expect to be the case?”
Red, after stumbling up, pulls the reeling OP to his feet and rolls him into the ring again, before following in as the ref stops the count at 7.
Flec: “As I thought – he is a total idiot.”
Red pulls OP up and forces him into the corner with some right hands, before going to work with a few chops to the Highlander’s chest. With Doc Op seemingly stunned, Red props him up on top of the turnbuckle, before stepping up to the second rope and hooking up for a Superplex. OP recovers enough to nail ‘Streak in the gut a few times, though, and Red falls to the mat. As he clambers up, OP hoists himself onto the top rope, and as Red turns to face him, soars off with a Flying Lariat! Both men go down as a result, after OP accidentally rolls on his bad shoulder.
Joey: “Shades of old-school Kane there from OP, but can he maintain the advantage?”
After a few moments, OP drags himself over to ‘Streak and tries for a cover; 1, 2…and a kickout by ‘Streak! OP looks quite upset, understandably, before stepping up and grabbing both of Red’s legs…
Joey: “Sarcasm?!”
Flec: “I didn’t say anything…”
Joey: “You’ll never get it, will you?”
Indeed, OP tries to flip Red over into the Sarcasm? hold, but The Streak’s having none of it, and lands a few punches to OP’s head. This only seems to infuriate the Highlander from Hell, who then shifts his grip and lifts Redstreak up before slamming him down again with a Powerbomb!
Joey: “It’s GraveDigger time, I think – OP looks to have this one in the bag!”
Flec: “Ah, it’s finally over…”
But as OP brings ‘Streak up for the second Powerbomb, he pauses, before dropping Red entirely; his wounded shoulder gave out on him. Red, not willing to look a gift horse in the mouth, swiftly kicks OP in the midsection before springboarding from the second rope and grabbing Doc Op’s skull, and driving him down to the mat with the Moonraker! Red quickly hooks the leg, and gets the 1, 2…3! The bell is rung, and Redstreak climbs to his feet, letting the ref raise his hand.
Cliffy: “And here’s the luckier of the two gits – Redstreak!”
Joey: “A good showing by both men; OP2005 bravely battled on, but couldn’t quite ignore that shoulder. What’s this - ?”
As Redstreak leaves the ring, the ref checks on OP. The Highlander seems to shake his head, his face screwed up in agony. The ref makes several summoning gestures, and a medical team promptly arrives on the scene, helping to support OP on his way to the back. Much concerned mumbling can be heard from the crowd.
Joey: “Looks like something’s seriously wrong with OP’s arm, folks…”
Flec: “So sayeth Captain Obvious, the latest Obvious Graduate from Obvious University.”
Joey: “Ignoring that remark; we’ll inform you as soon as we get more details on OP’s condition, but from where I’m sat, things don’t look good right now…”
Backstage
We see the AWF Commissioner, Mr Reilly, strolling down the corridor. He reaches a door that has had its name star torn down and the words “stay the f*** out” scrawled on in marker.
He pauses momentarily before confidently pushing the door open and strolling in.
HBK: “Come on… how many Stunners did you take? And he still couldn’t put you away?
Summers: “Oh… but man, that HDD off the second floor… and what the hell was with the stepover armbar?”
HBK: “I know… it’s… HEY, what the hell do you want?”
Reilly: “Hello, folks.”
The commissioner strides into the locker room, glancing around and beaming at Sean O’Con, Erik Summers and Atticus.
HBK: “You can’t just walk in here without an invitation...”
Summers: “No, man… that’s us, remember?”
HBK: “Oh yeah.”
Atticus: “Well, nobody sleeps here, so the rules don’t apply anyway.”
HBK: “Good point. Well made.”
The three collapse into a fit of laughter.
Reilly: “Anywho, I wanted a chat with you two boys. And you, of course, Miss. I wanted to congratulate you on your double victories at ArchiveMania, very impressive, I was tickled pink to see D-Generation Next on top of the world again, it’s good for ratings, you know.”
Atticus winces and casts a glance at Erik Summers as the former-Game’s face starts to contort.
Summers: “Do NOT call us that.”
HBK: “Bit slow on the uptake, aren’t you, Reilly? If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were an idiot. But as I do know better, I KNOW you’re an idiot.”
Reilly: “Hey, hey! No need to resort to name calling. Now, I recall that you have a problem with that name and as such a legitimate greivance, but you’re putting me in a very awkward position. It’s difficult to market you without a collective name… I mean young Mr Summers here has even gone and made it worse by foregoing the whole Game thing… it’s making my job very difficult.”
HBK: “This is what you’re here for? You want something to CALL US? You want a fancy tagline to stick on t-shirts?!”
Summers: “Wow. And here I were thinking that we were diabolical…”
Reilly: “Well, the people need something snappy. Something the kids can identify with. Catchphrases are hip and trendy, and so are names. The folks need something to call you… to know immediately who and what you are.”
Summers: “What we are? We’re the people who are gonna put our boss through a window if he doesn’t shut up soon.”
HBK: “Hey hey, calm it down, E. The idiot’s just looking out for the revenue. You want to know what we are? Well, let’s take a look… we’re the two most decorated men in AWF history.”
Summers: “And then some.”
HBK: “We’re the two best wrestlers in AWF history.”
Summers: “Though it’s not as if that’s difficult.”
HBK: “We’re the two best… three best lookers in the AWF.”
Atticus: “Thanks for remembering me.”
HBK (winks at her): “We’re the best… and the female interviewing staff can attest to this… we’re the best lovers in the AWF.”
Atticus: “Don’t even need to ask the interviewers…”
HBK: “What I’m saying, Mr R, is that we’re just the best. Be it lovers or fighters, talkers or dressers, dancers or singers, rockers or rollers, we’re the best going. No matter what you try to do, Summers and O’Con will be better than you. So if you want a snappy tagline to sell t-shirts, use that. Because the Heat and my boy E – we don’t care.”
Reilly: “… Better Than You? Better Than You. Erik Summers… Sean O’Con… they are… Better Than You. Yes, I think I can work that. You boys are geniuses!”
The three roll their eyes and go to move away.
Reilly: “Oh, there was another thing I wanted to talk to you about – matches!”
Summers: “What are you on about? We both won at ArchiveMania. We deserve the night off.”
Reilly: “Well, you could certainly make a case for that, but then if I gave everybody the night off just for winning then, hey, I’d have a roster comprised entirely of Cyberstrike and StarStorm.”
HBK: “And Siznitch.”
The group chuckles.
Reilly: “Funny you should mention him, Sean. Yes, I think you did a bang-up job in your match at ArchiveMania. Problem is that the bang-up was on the match officials... quite how you weren’t disqualified is a matter for the referees’ disciplinary tribunal, but anyway, I’m kinda interested to see how that match would have gone if you hadn’t taken it upon yourself to attack the referee.”
The HeartBrend Kid raises his eyebrow querillously.
Reilly: “So you’re going to do it all again next week. The HeartBrend Kid vs. Sixswitch! 2005 style! Take Two! Ah yes, that should go down well. And if you put your hands on any member of AWF staff, you’ll be suspended indefinitely.”
HBK: “Been there. Done that.”
Reilly: “Yes… I remember. Make that fired, then. How does that grab you?”
HBK: “I’ve been grabbed worse.”
Reilly: “But anyway, that’s next week. Back to the here and the now of it! You two… Better Than You, or whatever. Get warmed up, you’ve got a crowd of devoted merchandise-buyers to entertain! You’re taking on StarStorm. Cheerio!”
On that note, Mr Reilly beams a cheerful smile and strolls out of the locker room.
Summers: “We ask for the night off and he gives us StarStorm. What the hell’s the difference?”
Commerical break
Ravenous Justice v. Murder Inc.
Joey: Well its time for our next match and it should be a good one as Reilly’s boys take on Murder Inc.
Flec: You say they should all be good.
Joey: Not all but this one should be.
Flec: What…..
Suddenly “Comfort Eagle” by Cake begins to play.
Flec: What the heel is this?
After a moment D-Extreme and Ignavus come walking out of the back as the crowd gets to their feet and begins to cheer. The champs pose for the crowd with their belts then slowly make their way to the announce table.
Flec: What the hell are these two chumps doing out here?
Joey: Beats me but it is good to see them.
Joey gets up and welcomes the champs to the table and hands them a set of headphones as they sit down.
Joey: Hey champs, what brings you to ringside?
D-Ex: Damned if I know, we were told to come out here. Who’s fighting anyways?
Joey: It’s Ravenous Justice taking on Murder Inc. Oh and it’s good to see you to Igz.
Igz, now sitting in one of the chairs at the table just lifts his head and smiles then goes back to looking like he’s asleep.
D-Ex: Ravenous Justice? Who are they?
Joey: Oh that’s the new team name for Judge Death and Baxter.
D-Ex: Them crazy bastards. Damn, that’s a good name.
Joey: Sure is but I am being told that the match is ready to begin so lets send it down to Cliffjumper for the announcements. Take it away Cliff.
Cliffjumper: What? I’m on. Oh damn…Ladies and Gentlemen, the next match is scheduled for one fall and is a tag team match….hurry give me my smoke, takes a puff….Ah that’s the stuff, the team of Judge Death and Baxter…..RAVENOUS JUSTICE!
Suddenly “Left Hand Suzuki Method” by the Gorillaz begins to play and JD emerges out from the back slowly followed by the lumbering Baxter. The two make their way down to the ring as the crowd gives them a mixed reaction. Finally they reach the ring and without one bit of hesitation Baxter throws JD into the ring then slowly climbs his way into the ring as Cliffjumper continues.
CJ: And their opponents. The team of The Wild One and Auros……MURDER INC!....Oh thank god that’s over, now give me my smoke.
The prior music fades and is replaced by Bruce Springsteen’s “Murder Inc” as TWO and Auros make their way out of the back. The crowd gets to its feet and begins booing the two faction members. They walk down to the ring not wasting any time. They climb in and the ref signals for the bell.
D-Ex: Oh great these monkeys again. Didn’t we beat them a couple of times?
Joey: Yes you did. But they still want what you got. So the outcome of this match very well could determine who your next opponents will be.
Flec: It better be Murder Inc. They deserve it.
Igz: Oh quite now you overgrown camera.
D-Ex: Hahaha! That a boy Igz.
Igz: Now I’m going to go to sleep.
D-Ex: And its time for a Miller Lite. Man I am getting tired of saying that.
The match begins as JD and TWO square off in the center of the ring. They tie up and quickly WO gets the upperhand and locks in a wrist lock. He reefs on the move for a few moments then gives JD a clubbing blow to the back of the neck that drops JD to the mat. WO drags him back up and throws him into the ropes and catches him with a stiff clothesline on the return. WO flexes for the crowd then picks JD up and heaves him into the Murder Inc. corner. He charges at Baxter causing the big man to try and get him. The rather small ref runs over to stop him as Auros unravels the tape on his wrist and begins to choke JD. WO runs back over and begins laying in the lefts and rights on JD as Auros chokes him.
Joey: Oh what cheap tactics by The Wild One and Auros.
D-Ex: What else would you expect from people like them?
Igz: …snore…Cheap Bastards….snore
Flec: Would you all stop calling them cheap. That is a great in ring tactic.
Joey: You would say that.
Suddenly Auros lets go and covers up the tape as the ref runs over to check on the situation. He starts counting as WO continues to punch away at JD. Finally WO stops punching at the count of four. He turns and taunts the crowd as the ref admonishes him for what he just did. With the refs back turned Auros takes the opportunity and nails JD one more time knocking him to the mat.
Joey: Another cheap shot.
WO quickly pushes past the ref and makes the cover. He gets a two count before JD kicks out and clutches his head. Without thinking about it WO gets to his feet and tags in Auros. Auros climbs in and the two men begins stomping away on the fallen JD. The refs begins to count again and again they stop at four and WO exits the ring.
Flec: Great teamwork. Just great.
Igz: …snore….Brown noser…snore….
D-Ex: Ah hahahaha. Even when he’s asleep he still makes me laugh and its time for another cool and refreshing Miller Lite.
Auros drags the battered JD to his feet and whips him into the corner. He taunts the crowd for a moment getting a rather less than kind reply from them then charges at the prone JD. At the last possible moment JD get his boot up and catches Auros in the jaw. Auros reels back then turn to face JD just as JD lunges out of the corner and drops Auros to the mat with a clothesline.
Flec: Desperation at its best.
Joey: Effective counter though.
D-Ex: Man I hope he can tag in Baxter. I want to see that fat man clean house.
Igz: …snore….
D-Ex: Entertained as always.
With Auros and JD both down on the mat the ref begins the standing ten count. After a few seconds Auros rolls onto his stomach as JD begins to drag himself, slowly, towards his corner. By the time the ref gets to 6 Auros is getting to a knee and the count is broken. A few moments later he’s up and sees JD almost to his corner. He charges to stop the tag but is too late as JD summons all his energy and darts forward and tags the team’s big man.
D-Ex: Oh now this calls for a Miller Lite.
Joey: Baxter entering the ring and it looks like Auros is backing away from the lumbering giant.
Flec: Wouldn’t you. Hell, if he falls it will register a 9.4 on the rictor scale.
Joey: Low, just low.
Baxter backs Auros into a corner and finally Auros lunges out at the big man but gets caught with a huge punch. Quickly WO jumps into the ring to help his partner but gets caught with a clothesline. Baxter turns and levels Auros with a clothesline then follows that up with a clothesline to the rebounding WO. He drags Auros to his feet and whips him into the corner then drags up WO and whips him into Auros. To two men are left slumped in the corner as Baxter poses for the crowd then charges.
D-Ex: Oh this is going to hurt.
Joey: I think your right.
Baxter runs in and crashes into the two men with a devastating butt thump. WO stumbles out of the corner and quickly gets tossed over the top ropes as Auros just simply drops to the mat. Baxter positions Auros and climbs to the second rope as the ref leans out of the ring to check on WO. Baxter begins to bounce on the ropes as the crowd gets to their feet and cheers. Finally Auros opens his eyes and sees the rear end of the big man moving just above his head and panics. With the ref still leaning out of the ring he throws his fist out and connects with Baxter’s groin. Looking quite comical, Baxter suddenly stops as the entire crowd can be heard gasping with sympathy pains, and a twisted look of pain comes over his face and he slowly starts to lean backwards. Like watching a tree fall he slowly but surely begins to fall when suddenly Auros realizes he going to be crushed. Like a flash he grabs the edge of the apron and hurls himself out of the ring and the to arena floor just in time to escape the toppling Baxter. Baxter crashes to the mat and the impact nearly causes the ref to fall head first out of the ring. Baxter hits the mat and clutches his groin as Auros gets to his feet on the outside and give the crowd a “I am so smart” taunt then rolls back into the ring.
Joey: I can’t believe that just happened.
D-Ex: I don’t think there is enough alcohol in the entire world to get rid of that kind of pain.
Flec: THAT WAS AWESOME!
They both give Flec an “Are you crazy?” look.
Joey: I hope he is alright.
D-Ex: I don’t think that there is any way he could be. But I need a drink.
D-Ex has another drink as Auros struts around the ring for a moment then casually walks over and makes the cover. The ref drops to the mat and counts but somehow, maybe a freak time warp or something, Baxter manages to kick out at two.
Flec: How the hell did he do that?
Joey: I don’t know but I am sure that when Baxter manages to get to his feet that he will be very sorry.
Auros looks shocked as Baxter breaks the count and quickly he gets to his feet and begins arguing with the ref. He backs him into a corner and doesn’t notice that JD is finally back to his feet and climbing into the ring. After a few more moments of yelling at the ref and getting threatened about being DQ’d Auros turns around only to be met by a giant punch that sends him reeling into the ropes. JD, aggressively, continues with his onslaught as the delivers a few more punches to Auros then whips him into one of the corners. He follows in with a shoulder thrust. The crowd cheers for JD as he quickly whips Auros across the ring. About three quarters of the way across he suddenly trips as Baxter reaches out and grabs his foot. Auros falls, landing face first into the middle turnbuckle.
Joey: What the hell just happened? I thought Baxter was out of it.
Flec: I hoped he was.
D-Ex: Right on….drunkenly points at Baxter….Good move. Keep it up.
Flec: Oh damn it, now we have to deal with a drunken slacker.
D-Ex: Drunk? Who you calling drunk?...hic…
Joey: But I didn’t think he drank that much.
Flec: Are you kidding me? His last drink was half the bottle and I hope he pukes on you.
Joey: Oh no, that wouldn’t happen.
Baxter gets to his feet and cautiously and hesitantly stretches as both he and JD begin to stalk the slowly rousing Auros.
Joey: Here we go I think they are going to try and end it here.
Flec: Oh man what a crappy way to end it.
Joey: What are you talking about? This is a good way to end it. Clean.
Flec: No, it’s crappy. Murder Inc. is supposed to win.
Joey: Too bad. I don’t think its going to happen.
Just as Auros is about to get to his feet Baxter picks JD up and the moment Auros turns around he throws him through the air. JD’s head connects squarely with Auros and the Murder Inc. member crashes falls to the mat, but before JD can pin him WO, finally back to his feet and able to breath right, jumps back into the ring and nails Baxter in the back of the head knocking him to his knees and then levels JD with a clothesline.
Flec: Yes, he’s back in. Come on Wild One.
WO turns back to face Baxter, he throws a punch but is blocked by Baxter. Baxter connects with a punch of his own and gets to his feet. He blocks another and connects with another of his own. Finally with WO against the ropes Baxter kicks him in the gut and he doubles over. Baxter poses for a moment as he calls for the move. He heaves WO up as JD gets to his feet and quickly power bombs him into the mat with a little added force from JD. With out releasing his grip he picks him up again and slams him down. Again he holds on and heaves him back into the air.
Joey: I think this is it.
Flec: Man, this sucks.
D-Ex: I’ll tell you what sucks…..head falls to the table…
Igz: AHHHHH!...COBRAS!
D-Ex: …head lifts suddenly…COBRAS! NOOOO!...D-Ex jumps to his feet and tries to run but quickly falls face first to the mat.….
Joey: Oh no.
Instead of another powerbomb Baxter shifts WO around into a side walk slam position and JD quickly moves around and grabs WO’s head.
Joey: Here it is.
They drop to the mat completely taking WO out and Baxter makes the cover and JD moves back over and covers Auros. The ref makes the count and JD and Baxter take the win. 1..2…3!
CJ: And here are your winners…..RAVENOUS JUSTICE!
JD and Baxter get to their feet and celebrate as “Left Hand Suzuki Method” by the Gorillaz begins again. Back at the announce table Igz finally wakes up.
Igz: What’s going on? Is the match over already? And what happened to D-Ex?
Joey: Yes the match is over and you don’t want to know what happened to him.
Igz: Fair enough. See you later, oh and drink Coke!
Flec: Thank god this nightmare is over.
Backstage
Sixshot: I’m here with Tempest…Tempest…how can you explain your actions at Archivemania?
Tempest:…Well…
*Suddenly the lights backstage flicker and smoke billows around Tempest, Tempest’s eyes get large and he begins to back out, making his way out of the arena, before jumping in his car and leaving.*
Sixshot: Yeah…or not…back to you guys.
Blaster v. King
Styles: And its time for an Archivemania 4 rematch Flec.
Flec: Oh great, which one?
Styles: Blaster versus King.
Flec: What? Come on now. King won that match fair and square. Why does blaster get a rematch?
Styles: He deserves one. They put on a great match and he was cheated out of a win.
Flec: I say it was fair , you say he was cheated. It’s all the same in the end.
Styles: Yeah sure. Well here we go. Let’s send it down to Cliffjumper for the official announcements.
Flec: Cliffjumper….Official…..HAHAHAHA! I can’t believe those two words were said in the same sentence.
Styles: Anyways…
CJ: takes a puff of his smoke…What? I’m on, damn, you know you are supposed to give me more warning than that….puts the smoke down who’s fighting anyways….Uh huh…Oh great. Ladies and gentlemen. The next match is an Archivemania 4 rematch. Introducing first……KING!
Suddenly “More than Human” by Rob Zombie begins and fills the arena. King walks out of the back with a look of disgust on his face as the fans boo him. He makes his way down to the ring and doesn’t even bother taunting them as he just takes a place in the corner and waits for Blaster.
CJ: Oh, mister charisma there. Again, damn. I didn’t even get a puff that time…Introducing his opponent….BLASTER!
King’s music fades and the arena goes dark. The Y3B counter appears on the Archivetron.
5…
4…
3…
2…
1…
The pyros explode as the lights come back on and we see Blaster standing at the top of the ramp with his back to the ring. He slowly turns and we see an angry look on his face as his eyes meet King’s. The two men glare at each other for a moment and then Blaster bolts down to the ring. King has just enough time to get out of the corner and swing as Blaster slides into the ring. Blaster ducks the attempted punch from King and quickly begins to lay into him. He rocks him back into the ropes and goes for the Irish whip but King reverses it and sends Blaster flying over the top rope. Blaster crashes down to the floor as King quickly exits after him.
Styles: Wow, what a tremendous start here and the bell hasn’t even rung to sound the beginning of the match.
Flec: Wrong, there it is.
Styles: Well I guess you are right. But back to the action.
King jumps out of the ring and makes his way over to Blaster only to be met with a punch to the gut and a drop toe hold sending King face first into the apron.
Styles: Oh a quick move by Blaster and it looks like King has been busted open.
Flec: Damn it.
Blaster gets to his feet and begins driving punches into Kings head. Blaster drags King back to his feet and bounces his head off the apron again then whips him into the security railing.
Styles: Vicious attack by Blaster here.
Flec: I think losing at AM4 made him a bit angry.
Blaster moves in again but this time King quickly reaches out and grabs hold of Blaster then throws him up and over the railing with an overhead toss.
Flec: Good move there by King.
Styles: Good or not, it was effective.
Flec: Now all he’s got to do is climb back into the ring and he’s got this match won.
Styles: Are you so sure?
Flec: Yeah, the refs count is up to eight.
King looks at the ref then down at Blaster. He contemplates his choice for a moment then jumps over the railing and drags Blaster back to his feet. He throws a punch but at the last second Blaster ducks it and lands one of his own sending King stumbling away from the ring and through the crowd. Blaster gives chase and the two men begin trading punches in the crowd as they fight their way to the back.
Styles: What? Someone get a camera back there. We need to see what’s going on.
Flec: It doesn’t matter anymore.
Styles: What? Why?
Flec: Because the match is over. Look.
The last image we see of King and Blaster before they disappear is Blaster nailing King with a huge haymaker that knocks King through the curtains and down to the floor. The ref signals for the bell.
CJ: Well that was a great match….Yeah, yeah I’ll tell them, just give me a cigarette. And since they were both retards the ref has ruled that this match is a double count out. So they both lose. Now where’s my cigarette…*Take a big puff*…Aw, that’s the stuff.
Styles: Double count out. No. We need to get a camera back there.
Flec: Oh don’t worry about it. I am sure security has got them separated already.
Styles: How can you be so sure?
Flec: I’m not. I just don’t care
* Alice Coopers ‘Dragontown’ starts to play, and Wolfang enters the arena wearing an ankle-length black leather trenchcoat. On each shoulder, nestled in some buckles, is one of his titles: the AWF Television Championship on the right shoulder, and the AWF Hardcore Championship on the right. The usual black mask has been replaced with a silver one of the same style. And, instead of his usual ring attire, Wolfang is wearing leather pants with biker-esque leather boots. E strolls down to the ring slapping high-fives and taking in the cheers. He stands on one of the middle turnbuckles as the second chorus of the song kicks in, singing along with it. Cliffjumper just stands with a Marlboro light in one hand, staring in disbelief at the double crown champion. *
Cliffjumper: “Please welcome to the ring… if you want to like, don’t take this as gospel… the AWF Hardcore And Television Champion… WOLFANG!”
* Wolfang raises his arms in the air when everybody cheers at the mention of his name. He jumps down from the turnbuckle, landing facing Cliffjumper. He salutes the new ring announcer and grabs a microphone from one of the techs at ringside. As he draws the mic up ready to speak, the crowd cheer again. *
Flec: “Why are they cheering for this loser?”
Styles: “That ‘loser’ is wearing two AWF titles. I think you might want to think of some other derogatory remark to insult him with and then hope he doesn’t here you… for the people who missed ArchiveMania IV last night, Wolfang and Zarak beat the hell out of each other in a Hardcore Rules match… with both the Television and Hardcore titles up for grabs. As you can see, Wolfang won…”
* Wolfang throws off the trenchcoat to reveal a number of scars, stitches and bruises from his bout against Zarak. He signals for silence from the crowd and, for the sake of dramatic tension, slowly draws the microphone back towards his mouth. *
W: “Good Evening, NEW JERSEY…”
* The crowd lap up the intro. *
Styles: “I’ll bet Robin Williams isn’t gonna be happy about that…”
W: “Alright. I’m gonna lay the cards on the table. As you can all see * picks up the trenchcoat, displaying the two belts for all the crowd to see * the Wolf-man walked out of ArchiveMania with two titles. Double the gold… double the trouble. You’ll all be aware that, as Television Champion, I am under a contractual obligation to defend this belt * points to the TV Title * at every televised event. * There is a murmur of understanding from the crowd. *
And the contractual obligations * Wolfang moves the jacket around in his hands to display the Hardcore Title * for this belt, state that I can be made to defend the title at a moment’s notice. * The crowd show some disdain for this idea. * Hey… I didn’t make the rules. We all know who did though * Wolfang makes a wrist action that solicits a good amount of cheering from the crowd, as he smirks in the ring. *”
Flec: “HE CAN’T DO THAT!”
Styles: “If the cameras didn’t show that… I believe Wolfang was casting aspersions on the sexual preferences of our not-so-beloved Commissioner, Mr. Reilly…”
W: “Well… newsflash… I don’t care who sets their sights on these belts. If CloudStrifer… the idiot who deemed fit to label me, as well as everybody else, a ‘pathetic fool’… comes wanting a shot at one of these belts; the shot he’s most likely to receive is a chair, right before he’s wrapped in the folds of the Crimson Twilight * Crowd cheers. * If Amarant Odinson or Xille want a shot at either of these belts, I’d be honoured to give them a match. * Wolfang grimaces and clutches at his lower back. * Sorry… it seems I keep forgetting about these damned Back problems… * There are a few cheers and some laughs from the crowd. *”
Styles: “For those of you unfamiliar with Wolfang’s brand of humour, he’s making fun of Christopher Back… the former Cyberstrike… who Wolfang caused to tap out a couple of weeks ago in a match for the TV Title…”
W: “I’d like to apologise… I’m not usually one to just yammer on… but I thought it was prudent to let you fans know… and to let everybody in the back know… Wolfang may be marked with a couple more bulls-eyes now… but it doesn’t change anything. I’m still gonna fight… titles or no… and, come hell or high water, I may not win them all… but when it comes right down to it there is one thing that non one is going to be able to prevent me from doing. That is walking out of an arena after a match. * The crowd cheers. *
So come one, come all… step right up… you want a shot at me? Come and take it. Before any of you decide to, however, let me give you some advice. * Wolfang slips the trenchcoat back on. * Say your prayers, guys…* the crowd applauds and prepares to join in * you might WELL BE NEEDING THEM!”
* Wolfang throws down the mic and lets out a howl as the audience applauds or- in some cases- joins in with the howl, as ‘Dragontown’ blares back into life over the arena sound system. Wolfang throws up his arms for some cheers, and gets another ovation before he makes his way backstage. *
Joey: With Archivemania officially on the books and a new champion crowned, we return back to the US of A from the Tweeter Center in Camden, New Jersey.
There are certain things in life that you can stop
And there are certain things in life that can’t be stopped
Let’s go
The arena goes black and the lights flash all over the stage, but Vin Ghostal does not come through the curtains.
Styles: “You think Vin Ghostal will actually be man enough to come out here and admit that he lost to Xille at ArchiveMania?”
Flec: “I hope he’s here to call out the crooked referee that let it happen!”
Styles: “Man, you never stop.”
After a few moments, the music stops, and the crowd seems confused until the sounds of a collegiate marching band begin to fill the arena! Slowly but surely, a black-and-gold-clad marching band marches through the curtains and lines the entrance ramp on both sides, playing a boisterous victory song similar to Jim Ross’ entrance theme. Once the entire marching band has taken their places, Vin Ghostal emerges through the curtains wearing a black suit with bright gold pinstripes, smiling broadly and waving to his hometown crowd.
Cliffjumper: “Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome…from Camden, New Jersey…Vin Ghostal!!!”
Styles: “Not exactly a hero’s reception, I’d say.”
Millions of pieces of gold confetti pour from the rafters and cover the audience and ring area as Vin Ghostal struts to the ring, takes the microphone from CJ, and stares out over the audience, raising his hands in victory as the gold confetti rains down around him and the marching band stops playing.
V3: “Jersey’s favorite son has come home!!!!!”
The crowd’s deafening boos signify that the great fans of New Jersey aren’t extremely happy to see Ghostal.
V3: “V.3….the Lone Living Legend…the most decorated athlete in AWF history…has finally…finally…finally come home!!!!!”
Styles: “Vin’s Jersey brethren don’t seem too thrilled to see him.”
Flec: “Quiet, Styles! Vinny’s here to drop a bombshell, I know it!”
V3: “ArchiveMania has come and gone, but I didn’t come out here to bore you people with the story of how I stole the show. I didn’t come out here to remind you how I put on, once again, one of the greatest performances in AWF history.”
Crowd: “X….X….X….X…X…X…X…”
Ghostal looks out at the crowd, bemused. He raises the microphone to his mouth, but the chants for Xille become even louder. Ghostal smiles and shakes his head, then continues.
V3: “You people are just as disrespectful as ever. Now I remember why I moved to New York.”
The crowd boos violently.
V3: “I have an announcement that’s going to shock the world. An announcement that’s going to change the course of the AWF forever. An announcement regarding the AWF World Heavyweight Championship. This week, the AWF held a special 16-man tournament in Rio de Janeiro, Argentina, in order to determine a new #1 Contender for the AWF World Heavyweight Championship. The winner would have to go through four different men, all in one night, just for the chance to become World Heavyweight Champion. It was brutal…it was vile…it was one of the most grueling, taxing nights in my entire career.”
Styles: “I didn’t hear anything about a tournament…”
Flec: “Don’t get upset just because you weren’t invited, Styles!”
V3: “But I have good news. On that dark, smoky night in Rio de Janeiro, the greatest superstar any of you have seen or will ever see put together the most heroic performance in wrestling history, and when the dust settled and the smoke cleared…..the Lone Living Legend was left standing!!! That’s right…Vin Ghostal is, once again, the #1 Contender for the AWF World Heavyweight Championship!!!”
The crowd boos mercilessly once again.
V3: “And we all know what that means. I have never once failed when I’ve had the opportunity to regain what’s mine. Everyone in the audience, everyone watching at home, everyone in the back…and especially Viewfind…knows that it’s only a matter of time before the Lone Living Legend becomes the first 4-time world champion in AWF history!!! What do you think about that?!?”
Styles: “This is ridiculous!!! There wasn’t any tournament!!!”
Flec: “That’s not true! I saw it! I was there!”
Styles: “You’re just as much of a liar as he is, Flec, and you know it!”
Vin Ghostal smiles pompously as the crowd boos.
V3: “I know what you’re thinking. He looks much too pristine, much too flawless, much too handsome to have been through that kind of hell. And I will admit, it’s a small miracle that I look this good. You can thank modern medicine and the incredible genetics that made me what I am today. I can’t…”
Just then, “High Wire Escape Artist” hits and Xille comes through the curtains, holding a microphone. The crowd cheers the man who defeated Vin Ghostal by the narrowest of margins at ArchiveMania IV.
X: “I learned a long, long time ago that if there’s one person in the AWF that you shouldn’t trust, it’s Vin Ghostal. I know that your word is worth even less than those cheap suits you buy. And if there’s one thing I know, it’s that there was no tournament! If there was any tournament to find a #1 Contender, you know that the X would be a part of it, because if memory serves, it was just a few days ago that I put your shoulders to the mat for the 1-2-3.”
V3: “There was a tournament! There WAS!”
X: “There WAS NO TOURNAMENT!”
V3: “You don’t believe me? You don’t believe me? No one calls Vin Ghostal a liar! No one! I’ll prove to each and every one of you that I’m telling the truth. Next week, in this very ring, I will prove to each and every one of you skeptics that I am everything I say I am, that I am the Lone Living Legend, and that I am the next AWF World Heavyweight Champion. Next week, I will bring the proof. I will bring the evidence that will show, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that V.3. deserves a chance to be the World Heavyweight Champion once again, and that V.3. has earned that chance.”
Vin Ghostal drops the microphone, and his music begins to play as he and Xille have a tense, distant staredown.
Redstreak vs OP2005
Welcome to my nightmare
I think you’re gonna like it
I think you’re gonna feel like you belong…
Flec: “Ack – I knew it was too much to hope that Cloud would kill this loon at ArchiveMania…”
Joey: “Now, that’s not fair. OP has been with this fed for a long time, and he’s never been less than a great competitor. He has the strength of an elephant, the speed of a jaguar…”
Flec: “And the mind of a five-year-old.”
Cliffy: “This squabble is set for one fall, and is for…absolutely no reason whatsoever. Why the hell am I here again? Urk - !” >adjusts pacemaker< “Better. Now, making his way down here, from somewhere up north, he’s really tall and heavy, and is ‘Thy Worst Nightmare’ – though quite why he’d be in your dreams is a subject I’d really rather not touch – OP2005!”
Welcome To My Nightmare plays away as the Highlander from Hell strides purposefully down to the ring. Multiple post-AM cuts and bruises are still visible on his form, and he steps through the ropes with a bit more care than usual.
Joey: “OP still showing the scars from his climactic battle with CloudStrifer at ArchiveMania, and you’ve got to wonder whether he’ll be 100% tonight.”
Flec: “He hasn’t been 100% in the brain for a long damn time, and it hasn’t knocked his game, so why would it make a difference now?”
Cliffy: “And the other guy…from Detroit, weighing considerably lighter than the fat-arse that’s currently sharing the ring with me…yeah, that’s right, I said you’re fat. What’re you gonna do about it? Oh, right, glare at me. I’m oh-so intimidated right now. And what’s this other guy called again? Oh, yeah, it’s him…Redstreak!”
Hands are shakin’, got your finger on the trigger
Jesus ain’t complainin’, gonna figure it out
Somebody r***d my tapeworm abortion
Come on motherf***ers and deliver the cow…
As Sucker Train Blues hits, The Streak hits the ramp to a warm ovation, making his typical ‘number-one’ gesture. He high-fives a couple of fans on his way down, before sliding under the bottom rope and into the ring.
Joey: “Redstreak was also a bit unlucky at ArchiveMania, having failed to capture the IC title from Divebomb…”
Flec: “Which just proves how much of a hack ‘Streak is. I mean, how crap must you be to lose to that traitor, that infidel…that jezebel!”
Joey: “Can that term actually be used for people who aren’t female?”
Flec: “Who said that Divebum had nuts?”
Joey: “…Moving along.”
Redstreak steps into the ring, and the bell is quickly rung as OP2005, with an unearthly shriek, comes a-running toward him. Red ducks an early try for The Shining, and similarly evades a follow-up clothesline, before tapping his skull and winking at the crowd in a smarmy manner. He turns back to face his opponent, grinning, and is caught in Doc Op’s arms, before being planted by a strong Spinebuster!
Joey: “Wow! I think the arena shook with that impact!”
Flec: “I think your brain shook, before it fell out your skull.”
OP follows up by trying to eat Red’s arm. The ref, naturally, puts a stop to this before anyone is unnecessarily amputated. Redstreak backs off into a corner, regarding OP as you would a rabid clown with a switchblade.
Joey: “What kind of ring strategy do you call that?”
Flec: “I call it rendering the opponent ‘armless. Ahahahaaa!”
Joey: “How do you get to sleep at night, after making jokes like that all day?”
Flec: “It’s difficult at times…”
After screaming again, OP charges Streak once more, but this time Red dodges out of the way, leaving OP to attempt a Spear on the turnbuckle. Speeding flesh meets stationary steel. Flesh comes off worse. OP grimaces in pain, cradling his left shoulder with his right hand. Red, hoping to capitalise, plants a Dropkick firmly in the Highlander’s back, jamming OP’s shoulder even tighter against the turnbuckle and gaining a sharp cry of agony from him.
Joey: “I can’t bear to watch…”
Flec: “’Cause you’re a sissy-boy. Maim ‘im!”
Joey: “I presume you’re calling to Redstreak?”
Flec: “I’m not especially bothered about which one suffers, really.”
Redstreak hooks up a Schoolboy roll-up on OP, but the big man kicks out after 2. He squirms on the mat afterward, though, still nursing his arm. Red grabs the injured limb and gives it a quick twist, keeping OP grounded, before locking in a Fujiwara Armbar. OP flails, but does eventually reach the ropes.
Joey: “Close one for OP; he’s got to try and keep that arm away from ‘Streak as much as possible…”
Flec: “Supplying aid for the blind, are you? Or just hoping that the dolt in the ring will hear you?”
Red pulls Doc Op up and whips him to the ropes; OP reverses and sends ‘Streak to the ropes instead, looking for a Back Toss on the return. Red counters by nailing OP with a DDT, and goes for a cover again; once more, OP kicks out after 2. Red punches the mat in disappointment, before deciding to head upstairs. He climbs to the top rope and waits for OP to get up…
Joey: “Red introducing some variety to his game with a touch of high-flying, here.”
Redstreak leaps at the standing OP, looking for a Diving Cross Body; OP catches him, though, and connects with a Fallaway Slam.
Flec: “Needless to say, he should’ve stuck with what he knew.”
Red stumbles up, leaning against the ropes for balance as OP rushes forward…and connects with The Shining! Redstreak tumbles over the top rope and out of the ring, as OP takes a moment to massage his shoulder before stepping over the ropes and following The Streak. Red pulls himself up onto all fours just as OP delivers a big hammer-like Axe Handle blow to his spine, driving ‘Streak back down to the floor again. OP pulls Red up and pops him over his left shoulder, before dropping ‘Streak neck-first onto the security barrier!
Joey: “Ouch!”
Flec: “He won’t be backing Pavarotti anytime soon.”
Red collapses, holding his throat, as OP looks around…and grins as he spots the ring stairs. He grabs ‘Streak and whips him toward them…only for Red to reverse it, yanking OP by his injured arm. OP spins around slightly as he barrels toward the stairs, and his shoulder absorbs most of the impact! He lets out a quick yell before falling. Back in the ring, the ref’s count has reached 5.
Joey: “After that hit, Red could get back in the ring and win by count-out, I reckon.”
Flec: “That’d be likely if he’s not a total idiot. Guess what I expect to be the case?”
Red, after stumbling up, pulls the reeling OP to his feet and rolls him into the ring again, before following in as the ref stops the count at 7.
Flec: “As I thought – he is a total idiot.”
Red pulls OP up and forces him into the corner with some right hands, before going to work with a few chops to the Highlander’s chest. With Doc Op seemingly stunned, Red props him up on top of the turnbuckle, before stepping up to the second rope and hooking up for a Superplex. OP recovers enough to nail ‘Streak in the gut a few times, though, and Red falls to the mat. As he clambers up, OP hoists himself onto the top rope, and as Red turns to face him, soars off with a Flying Lariat! Both men go down as a result, after OP accidentally rolls on his bad shoulder.
Joey: “Shades of old-school Kane there from OP, but can he maintain the advantage?”
After a few moments, OP drags himself over to ‘Streak and tries for a cover; 1, 2…and a kickout by ‘Streak! OP looks quite upset, understandably, before stepping up and grabbing both of Red’s legs…
Joey: “Sarcasm?!”
Flec: “I didn’t say anything…”
Joey: “You’ll never get it, will you?”
Indeed, OP tries to flip Red over into the Sarcasm? hold, but The Streak’s having none of it, and lands a few punches to OP’s head. This only seems to infuriate the Highlander from Hell, who then shifts his grip and lifts Redstreak up before slamming him down again with a Powerbomb!
Joey: “It’s GraveDigger time, I think – OP looks to have this one in the bag!”
Flec: “Ah, it’s finally over…”
But as OP brings ‘Streak up for the second Powerbomb, he pauses, before dropping Red entirely; his wounded shoulder gave out on him. Red, not willing to look a gift horse in the mouth, swiftly kicks OP in the midsection before springboarding from the second rope and grabbing Doc Op’s skull, and driving him down to the mat with the Moonraker! Red quickly hooks the leg, and gets the 1, 2…3! The bell is rung, and Redstreak climbs to his feet, letting the ref raise his hand.
Cliffy: “And here’s the luckier of the two gits – Redstreak!”
Joey: “A good showing by both men; OP2005 bravely battled on, but couldn’t quite ignore that shoulder. What’s this - ?”
As Redstreak leaves the ring, the ref checks on OP. The Highlander seems to shake his head, his face screwed up in agony. The ref makes several summoning gestures, and a medical team promptly arrives on the scene, helping to support OP on his way to the back. Much concerned mumbling can be heard from the crowd.
Joey: “Looks like something’s seriously wrong with OP’s arm, folks…”
Flec: “So sayeth Captain Obvious, the latest Obvious Graduate from Obvious University.”
Joey: “Ignoring that remark; we’ll inform you as soon as we get more details on OP’s condition, but from where I’m sat, things don’t look good right now…”
Backstage
We see the AWF Commissioner, Mr Reilly, strolling down the corridor. He reaches a door that has had its name star torn down and the words “stay the f*** out” scrawled on in marker.
He pauses momentarily before confidently pushing the door open and strolling in.
HBK: “Come on… how many Stunners did you take? And he still couldn’t put you away?
Summers: “Oh… but man, that HDD off the second floor… and what the hell was with the stepover armbar?”
HBK: “I know… it’s… HEY, what the hell do you want?”
Reilly: “Hello, folks.”
The commissioner strides into the locker room, glancing around and beaming at Sean O’Con, Erik Summers and Atticus.
HBK: “You can’t just walk in here without an invitation...”
Summers: “No, man… that’s us, remember?”
HBK: “Oh yeah.”
Atticus: “Well, nobody sleeps here, so the rules don’t apply anyway.”
HBK: “Good point. Well made.”
The three collapse into a fit of laughter.
Reilly: “Anywho, I wanted a chat with you two boys. And you, of course, Miss. I wanted to congratulate you on your double victories at ArchiveMania, very impressive, I was tickled pink to see D-Generation Next on top of the world again, it’s good for ratings, you know.”
Atticus winces and casts a glance at Erik Summers as the former-Game’s face starts to contort.
Summers: “Do NOT call us that.”
HBK: “Bit slow on the uptake, aren’t you, Reilly? If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were an idiot. But as I do know better, I KNOW you’re an idiot.”
Reilly: “Hey, hey! No need to resort to name calling. Now, I recall that you have a problem with that name and as such a legitimate greivance, but you’re putting me in a very awkward position. It’s difficult to market you without a collective name… I mean young Mr Summers here has even gone and made it worse by foregoing the whole Game thing… it’s making my job very difficult.”
HBK: “This is what you’re here for? You want something to CALL US? You want a fancy tagline to stick on t-shirts?!”
Summers: “Wow. And here I were thinking that we were diabolical…”
Reilly: “Well, the people need something snappy. Something the kids can identify with. Catchphrases are hip and trendy, and so are names. The folks need something to call you… to know immediately who and what you are.”
Summers: “What we are? We’re the people who are gonna put our boss through a window if he doesn’t shut up soon.”
HBK: “Hey hey, calm it down, E. The idiot’s just looking out for the revenue. You want to know what we are? Well, let’s take a look… we’re the two most decorated men in AWF history.”
Summers: “And then some.”
HBK: “We’re the two best wrestlers in AWF history.”
Summers: “Though it’s not as if that’s difficult.”
HBK: “We’re the two best… three best lookers in the AWF.”
Atticus: “Thanks for remembering me.”
HBK (winks at her): “We’re the best… and the female interviewing staff can attest to this… we’re the best lovers in the AWF.”
Atticus: “Don’t even need to ask the interviewers…”
HBK: “What I’m saying, Mr R, is that we’re just the best. Be it lovers or fighters, talkers or dressers, dancers or singers, rockers or rollers, we’re the best going. No matter what you try to do, Summers and O’Con will be better than you. So if you want a snappy tagline to sell t-shirts, use that. Because the Heat and my boy E – we don’t care.”
Reilly: “… Better Than You? Better Than You. Erik Summers… Sean O’Con… they are… Better Than You. Yes, I think I can work that. You boys are geniuses!”
The three roll their eyes and go to move away.
Reilly: “Oh, there was another thing I wanted to talk to you about – matches!”
Summers: “What are you on about? We both won at ArchiveMania. We deserve the night off.”
Reilly: “Well, you could certainly make a case for that, but then if I gave everybody the night off just for winning then, hey, I’d have a roster comprised entirely of Cyberstrike and StarStorm.”
HBK: “And Siznitch.”
The group chuckles.
Reilly: “Funny you should mention him, Sean. Yes, I think you did a bang-up job in your match at ArchiveMania. Problem is that the bang-up was on the match officials... quite how you weren’t disqualified is a matter for the referees’ disciplinary tribunal, but anyway, I’m kinda interested to see how that match would have gone if you hadn’t taken it upon yourself to attack the referee.”
The HeartBrend Kid raises his eyebrow querillously.
Reilly: “So you’re going to do it all again next week. The HeartBrend Kid vs. Sixswitch! 2005 style! Take Two! Ah yes, that should go down well. And if you put your hands on any member of AWF staff, you’ll be suspended indefinitely.”
HBK: “Been there. Done that.”
Reilly: “Yes… I remember. Make that fired, then. How does that grab you?”
HBK: “I’ve been grabbed worse.”
Reilly: “But anyway, that’s next week. Back to the here and the now of it! You two… Better Than You, or whatever. Get warmed up, you’ve got a crowd of devoted merchandise-buyers to entertain! You’re taking on StarStorm. Cheerio!”
On that note, Mr Reilly beams a cheerful smile and strolls out of the locker room.
Summers: “We ask for the night off and he gives us StarStorm. What the hell’s the difference?”
Commerical break
Ravenous Justice v. Murder Inc.
Joey: Well its time for our next match and it should be a good one as Reilly’s boys take on Murder Inc.
Flec: You say they should all be good.
Joey: Not all but this one should be.
Flec: What…..
Suddenly “Comfort Eagle” by Cake begins to play.
Flec: What the heel is this?
After a moment D-Extreme and Ignavus come walking out of the back as the crowd gets to their feet and begins to cheer. The champs pose for the crowd with their belts then slowly make their way to the announce table.
Flec: What the hell are these two chumps doing out here?
Joey: Beats me but it is good to see them.
Joey gets up and welcomes the champs to the table and hands them a set of headphones as they sit down.
Joey: Hey champs, what brings you to ringside?
D-Ex: Damned if I know, we were told to come out here. Who’s fighting anyways?
Joey: It’s Ravenous Justice taking on Murder Inc. Oh and it’s good to see you to Igz.
Igz, now sitting in one of the chairs at the table just lifts his head and smiles then goes back to looking like he’s asleep.
D-Ex: Ravenous Justice? Who are they?
Joey: Oh that’s the new team name for Judge Death and Baxter.
D-Ex: Them crazy bastards. Damn, that’s a good name.
Joey: Sure is but I am being told that the match is ready to begin so lets send it down to Cliffjumper for the announcements. Take it away Cliff.
Cliffjumper: What? I’m on. Oh damn…Ladies and Gentlemen, the next match is scheduled for one fall and is a tag team match….hurry give me my smoke, takes a puff….Ah that’s the stuff, the team of Judge Death and Baxter…..RAVENOUS JUSTICE!
Suddenly “Left Hand Suzuki Method” by the Gorillaz begins to play and JD emerges out from the back slowly followed by the lumbering Baxter. The two make their way down to the ring as the crowd gives them a mixed reaction. Finally they reach the ring and without one bit of hesitation Baxter throws JD into the ring then slowly climbs his way into the ring as Cliffjumper continues.
CJ: And their opponents. The team of The Wild One and Auros……MURDER INC!....Oh thank god that’s over, now give me my smoke.
The prior music fades and is replaced by Bruce Springsteen’s “Murder Inc” as TWO and Auros make their way out of the back. The crowd gets to its feet and begins booing the two faction members. They walk down to the ring not wasting any time. They climb in and the ref signals for the bell.
D-Ex: Oh great these monkeys again. Didn’t we beat them a couple of times?
Joey: Yes you did. But they still want what you got. So the outcome of this match very well could determine who your next opponents will be.
Flec: It better be Murder Inc. They deserve it.
Igz: Oh quite now you overgrown camera.
D-Ex: Hahaha! That a boy Igz.
Igz: Now I’m going to go to sleep.
D-Ex: And its time for a Miller Lite. Man I am getting tired of saying that.
The match begins as JD and TWO square off in the center of the ring. They tie up and quickly WO gets the upperhand and locks in a wrist lock. He reefs on the move for a few moments then gives JD a clubbing blow to the back of the neck that drops JD to the mat. WO drags him back up and throws him into the ropes and catches him with a stiff clothesline on the return. WO flexes for the crowd then picks JD up and heaves him into the Murder Inc. corner. He charges at Baxter causing the big man to try and get him. The rather small ref runs over to stop him as Auros unravels the tape on his wrist and begins to choke JD. WO runs back over and begins laying in the lefts and rights on JD as Auros chokes him.
Joey: Oh what cheap tactics by The Wild One and Auros.
D-Ex: What else would you expect from people like them?
Igz: …snore…Cheap Bastards….snore
Flec: Would you all stop calling them cheap. That is a great in ring tactic.
Joey: You would say that.
Suddenly Auros lets go and covers up the tape as the ref runs over to check on the situation. He starts counting as WO continues to punch away at JD. Finally WO stops punching at the count of four. He turns and taunts the crowd as the ref admonishes him for what he just did. With the refs back turned Auros takes the opportunity and nails JD one more time knocking him to the mat.
Joey: Another cheap shot.
WO quickly pushes past the ref and makes the cover. He gets a two count before JD kicks out and clutches his head. Without thinking about it WO gets to his feet and tags in Auros. Auros climbs in and the two men begins stomping away on the fallen JD. The refs begins to count again and again they stop at four and WO exits the ring.
Flec: Great teamwork. Just great.
Igz: …snore….Brown noser…snore….
D-Ex: Ah hahahaha. Even when he’s asleep he still makes me laugh and its time for another cool and refreshing Miller Lite.
Auros drags the battered JD to his feet and whips him into the corner. He taunts the crowd for a moment getting a rather less than kind reply from them then charges at the prone JD. At the last possible moment JD get his boot up and catches Auros in the jaw. Auros reels back then turn to face JD just as JD lunges out of the corner and drops Auros to the mat with a clothesline.
Flec: Desperation at its best.
Joey: Effective counter though.
D-Ex: Man I hope he can tag in Baxter. I want to see that fat man clean house.
Igz: …snore….
D-Ex: Entertained as always.
With Auros and JD both down on the mat the ref begins the standing ten count. After a few seconds Auros rolls onto his stomach as JD begins to drag himself, slowly, towards his corner. By the time the ref gets to 6 Auros is getting to a knee and the count is broken. A few moments later he’s up and sees JD almost to his corner. He charges to stop the tag but is too late as JD summons all his energy and darts forward and tags the team’s big man.
D-Ex: Oh now this calls for a Miller Lite.
Joey: Baxter entering the ring and it looks like Auros is backing away from the lumbering giant.
Flec: Wouldn’t you. Hell, if he falls it will register a 9.4 on the rictor scale.
Joey: Low, just low.
Baxter backs Auros into a corner and finally Auros lunges out at the big man but gets caught with a huge punch. Quickly WO jumps into the ring to help his partner but gets caught with a clothesline. Baxter turns and levels Auros with a clothesline then follows that up with a clothesline to the rebounding WO. He drags Auros to his feet and whips him into the corner then drags up WO and whips him into Auros. To two men are left slumped in the corner as Baxter poses for the crowd then charges.
D-Ex: Oh this is going to hurt.
Joey: I think your right.
Baxter runs in and crashes into the two men with a devastating butt thump. WO stumbles out of the corner and quickly gets tossed over the top ropes as Auros just simply drops to the mat. Baxter positions Auros and climbs to the second rope as the ref leans out of the ring to check on WO. Baxter begins to bounce on the ropes as the crowd gets to their feet and cheers. Finally Auros opens his eyes and sees the rear end of the big man moving just above his head and panics. With the ref still leaning out of the ring he throws his fist out and connects with Baxter’s groin. Looking quite comical, Baxter suddenly stops as the entire crowd can be heard gasping with sympathy pains, and a twisted look of pain comes over his face and he slowly starts to lean backwards. Like watching a tree fall he slowly but surely begins to fall when suddenly Auros realizes he going to be crushed. Like a flash he grabs the edge of the apron and hurls himself out of the ring and the to arena floor just in time to escape the toppling Baxter. Baxter crashes to the mat and the impact nearly causes the ref to fall head first out of the ring. Baxter hits the mat and clutches his groin as Auros gets to his feet on the outside and give the crowd a “I am so smart” taunt then rolls back into the ring.
Joey: I can’t believe that just happened.
D-Ex: I don’t think there is enough alcohol in the entire world to get rid of that kind of pain.
Flec: THAT WAS AWESOME!
They both give Flec an “Are you crazy?” look.
Joey: I hope he is alright.
D-Ex: I don’t think that there is any way he could be. But I need a drink.
D-Ex has another drink as Auros struts around the ring for a moment then casually walks over and makes the cover. The ref drops to the mat and counts but somehow, maybe a freak time warp or something, Baxter manages to kick out at two.
Flec: How the hell did he do that?
Joey: I don’t know but I am sure that when Baxter manages to get to his feet that he will be very sorry.
Auros looks shocked as Baxter breaks the count and quickly he gets to his feet and begins arguing with the ref. He backs him into a corner and doesn’t notice that JD is finally back to his feet and climbing into the ring. After a few more moments of yelling at the ref and getting threatened about being DQ’d Auros turns around only to be met by a giant punch that sends him reeling into the ropes. JD, aggressively, continues with his onslaught as the delivers a few more punches to Auros then whips him into one of the corners. He follows in with a shoulder thrust. The crowd cheers for JD as he quickly whips Auros across the ring. About three quarters of the way across he suddenly trips as Baxter reaches out and grabs his foot. Auros falls, landing face first into the middle turnbuckle.
Joey: What the hell just happened? I thought Baxter was out of it.
Flec: I hoped he was.
D-Ex: Right on….drunkenly points at Baxter….Good move. Keep it up.
Flec: Oh damn it, now we have to deal with a drunken slacker.
D-Ex: Drunk? Who you calling drunk?...hic…
Joey: But I didn’t think he drank that much.
Flec: Are you kidding me? His last drink was half the bottle and I hope he pukes on you.
Joey: Oh no, that wouldn’t happen.
Baxter gets to his feet and cautiously and hesitantly stretches as both he and JD begin to stalk the slowly rousing Auros.
Joey: Here we go I think they are going to try and end it here.
Flec: Oh man what a crappy way to end it.
Joey: What are you talking about? This is a good way to end it. Clean.
Flec: No, it’s crappy. Murder Inc. is supposed to win.
Joey: Too bad. I don’t think its going to happen.
Just as Auros is about to get to his feet Baxter picks JD up and the moment Auros turns around he throws him through the air. JD’s head connects squarely with Auros and the Murder Inc. member crashes falls to the mat, but before JD can pin him WO, finally back to his feet and able to breath right, jumps back into the ring and nails Baxter in the back of the head knocking him to his knees and then levels JD with a clothesline.
Flec: Yes, he’s back in. Come on Wild One.
WO turns back to face Baxter, he throws a punch but is blocked by Baxter. Baxter connects with a punch of his own and gets to his feet. He blocks another and connects with another of his own. Finally with WO against the ropes Baxter kicks him in the gut and he doubles over. Baxter poses for a moment as he calls for the move. He heaves WO up as JD gets to his feet and quickly power bombs him into the mat with a little added force from JD. With out releasing his grip he picks him up again and slams him down. Again he holds on and heaves him back into the air.
Joey: I think this is it.
Flec: Man, this sucks.
D-Ex: I’ll tell you what sucks…..head falls to the table…
Igz: AHHHHH!...COBRAS!
D-Ex: …head lifts suddenly…COBRAS! NOOOO!...D-Ex jumps to his feet and tries to run but quickly falls face first to the mat.….
Joey: Oh no.
Instead of another powerbomb Baxter shifts WO around into a side walk slam position and JD quickly moves around and grabs WO’s head.
Joey: Here it is.
They drop to the mat completely taking WO out and Baxter makes the cover and JD moves back over and covers Auros. The ref makes the count and JD and Baxter take the win. 1..2…3!
CJ: And here are your winners…..RAVENOUS JUSTICE!
JD and Baxter get to their feet and celebrate as “Left Hand Suzuki Method” by the Gorillaz begins again. Back at the announce table Igz finally wakes up.
Igz: What’s going on? Is the match over already? And what happened to D-Ex?
Joey: Yes the match is over and you don’t want to know what happened to him.
Igz: Fair enough. See you later, oh and drink Coke!
Flec: Thank god this nightmare is over.
Backstage
Sixshot: I’m here with Tempest…Tempest…how can you explain your actions at Archivemania?
Tempest:…Well…
*Suddenly the lights backstage flicker and smoke billows around Tempest, Tempest’s eyes get large and he begins to back out, making his way out of the arena, before jumping in his car and leaving.*
Sixshot: Yeah…or not…back to you guys.
Blaster v. King
Styles: And its time for an Archivemania 4 rematch Flec.
Flec: Oh great, which one?
Styles: Blaster versus King.
Flec: What? Come on now. King won that match fair and square. Why does blaster get a rematch?
Styles: He deserves one. They put on a great match and he was cheated out of a win.
Flec: I say it was fair , you say he was cheated. It’s all the same in the end.
Styles: Yeah sure. Well here we go. Let’s send it down to Cliffjumper for the official announcements.
Flec: Cliffjumper….Official…..HAHAHAHA! I can’t believe those two words were said in the same sentence.
Styles: Anyways…
CJ: takes a puff of his smoke…What? I’m on, damn, you know you are supposed to give me more warning than that….puts the smoke down who’s fighting anyways….Uh huh…Oh great. Ladies and gentlemen. The next match is an Archivemania 4 rematch. Introducing first……KING!
Suddenly “More than Human” by Rob Zombie begins and fills the arena. King walks out of the back with a look of disgust on his face as the fans boo him. He makes his way down to the ring and doesn’t even bother taunting them as he just takes a place in the corner and waits for Blaster.
CJ: Oh, mister charisma there. Again, damn. I didn’t even get a puff that time…Introducing his opponent….BLASTER!
King’s music fades and the arena goes dark. The Y3B counter appears on the Archivetron.
5…
4…
3…
2…
1…
The pyros explode as the lights come back on and we see Blaster standing at the top of the ramp with his back to the ring. He slowly turns and we see an angry look on his face as his eyes meet King’s. The two men glare at each other for a moment and then Blaster bolts down to the ring. King has just enough time to get out of the corner and swing as Blaster slides into the ring. Blaster ducks the attempted punch from King and quickly begins to lay into him. He rocks him back into the ropes and goes for the Irish whip but King reverses it and sends Blaster flying over the top rope. Blaster crashes down to the floor as King quickly exits after him.
Styles: Wow, what a tremendous start here and the bell hasn’t even rung to sound the beginning of the match.
Flec: Wrong, there it is.
Styles: Well I guess you are right. But back to the action.
King jumps out of the ring and makes his way over to Blaster only to be met with a punch to the gut and a drop toe hold sending King face first into the apron.
Styles: Oh a quick move by Blaster and it looks like King has been busted open.
Flec: Damn it.
Blaster gets to his feet and begins driving punches into Kings head. Blaster drags King back to his feet and bounces his head off the apron again then whips him into the security railing.
Styles: Vicious attack by Blaster here.
Flec: I think losing at AM4 made him a bit angry.
Blaster moves in again but this time King quickly reaches out and grabs hold of Blaster then throws him up and over the railing with an overhead toss.
Flec: Good move there by King.
Styles: Good or not, it was effective.
Flec: Now all he’s got to do is climb back into the ring and he’s got this match won.
Styles: Are you so sure?
Flec: Yeah, the refs count is up to eight.
King looks at the ref then down at Blaster. He contemplates his choice for a moment then jumps over the railing and drags Blaster back to his feet. He throws a punch but at the last second Blaster ducks it and lands one of his own sending King stumbling away from the ring and through the crowd. Blaster gives chase and the two men begin trading punches in the crowd as they fight their way to the back.
Styles: What? Someone get a camera back there. We need to see what’s going on.
Flec: It doesn’t matter anymore.
Styles: What? Why?
Flec: Because the match is over. Look.
The last image we see of King and Blaster before they disappear is Blaster nailing King with a huge haymaker that knocks King through the curtains and down to the floor. The ref signals for the bell.
CJ: Well that was a great match….Yeah, yeah I’ll tell them, just give me a cigarette. And since they were both retards the ref has ruled that this match is a double count out. So they both lose. Now where’s my cigarette…*Take a big puff*…Aw, that’s the stuff.
Styles: Double count out. No. We need to get a camera back there.
Flec: Oh don’t worry about it. I am sure security has got them separated already.
Styles: How can you be so sure?
Flec: I’m not. I just don’t care
* Alice Coopers ‘Dragontown’ starts to play, and Wolfang enters the arena wearing an ankle-length black leather trenchcoat. On each shoulder, nestled in some buckles, is one of his titles: the AWF Television Championship on the right shoulder, and the AWF Hardcore Championship on the right. The usual black mask has been replaced with a silver one of the same style. And, instead of his usual ring attire, Wolfang is wearing leather pants with biker-esque leather boots. E strolls down to the ring slapping high-fives and taking in the cheers. He stands on one of the middle turnbuckles as the second chorus of the song kicks in, singing along with it. Cliffjumper just stands with a Marlboro light in one hand, staring in disbelief at the double crown champion. *
Cliffjumper: “Please welcome to the ring… if you want to like, don’t take this as gospel… the AWF Hardcore And Television Champion… WOLFANG!”
* Wolfang raises his arms in the air when everybody cheers at the mention of his name. He jumps down from the turnbuckle, landing facing Cliffjumper. He salutes the new ring announcer and grabs a microphone from one of the techs at ringside. As he draws the mic up ready to speak, the crowd cheer again. *
Flec: “Why are they cheering for this loser?”
Styles: “That ‘loser’ is wearing two AWF titles. I think you might want to think of some other derogatory remark to insult him with and then hope he doesn’t here you… for the people who missed ArchiveMania IV last night, Wolfang and Zarak beat the hell out of each other in a Hardcore Rules match… with both the Television and Hardcore titles up for grabs. As you can see, Wolfang won…”
* Wolfang throws off the trenchcoat to reveal a number of scars, stitches and bruises from his bout against Zarak. He signals for silence from the crowd and, for the sake of dramatic tension, slowly draws the microphone back towards his mouth. *
W: “Good Evening, NEW JERSEY…”
* The crowd lap up the intro. *
Styles: “I’ll bet Robin Williams isn’t gonna be happy about that…”
W: “Alright. I’m gonna lay the cards on the table. As you can all see * picks up the trenchcoat, displaying the two belts for all the crowd to see * the Wolf-man walked out of ArchiveMania with two titles. Double the gold… double the trouble. You’ll all be aware that, as Television Champion, I am under a contractual obligation to defend this belt * points to the TV Title * at every televised event. * There is a murmur of understanding from the crowd. *
And the contractual obligations * Wolfang moves the jacket around in his hands to display the Hardcore Title * for this belt, state that I can be made to defend the title at a moment’s notice. * The crowd show some disdain for this idea. * Hey… I didn’t make the rules. We all know who did though * Wolfang makes a wrist action that solicits a good amount of cheering from the crowd, as he smirks in the ring. *”
Flec: “HE CAN’T DO THAT!”
Styles: “If the cameras didn’t show that… I believe Wolfang was casting aspersions on the sexual preferences of our not-so-beloved Commissioner, Mr. Reilly…”
W: “Well… newsflash… I don’t care who sets their sights on these belts. If CloudStrifer… the idiot who deemed fit to label me, as well as everybody else, a ‘pathetic fool’… comes wanting a shot at one of these belts; the shot he’s most likely to receive is a chair, right before he’s wrapped in the folds of the Crimson Twilight * Crowd cheers. * If Amarant Odinson or Xille want a shot at either of these belts, I’d be honoured to give them a match. * Wolfang grimaces and clutches at his lower back. * Sorry… it seems I keep forgetting about these damned Back problems… * There are a few cheers and some laughs from the crowd. *”
Styles: “For those of you unfamiliar with Wolfang’s brand of humour, he’s making fun of Christopher Back… the former Cyberstrike… who Wolfang caused to tap out a couple of weeks ago in a match for the TV Title…”
W: “I’d like to apologise… I’m not usually one to just yammer on… but I thought it was prudent to let you fans know… and to let everybody in the back know… Wolfang may be marked with a couple more bulls-eyes now… but it doesn’t change anything. I’m still gonna fight… titles or no… and, come hell or high water, I may not win them all… but when it comes right down to it there is one thing that non one is going to be able to prevent me from doing. That is walking out of an arena after a match. * The crowd cheers. *
So come one, come all… step right up… you want a shot at me? Come and take it. Before any of you decide to, however, let me give you some advice. * Wolfang slips the trenchcoat back on. * Say your prayers, guys…* the crowd applauds and prepares to join in * you might WELL BE NEEDING THEM!”
* Wolfang throws down the mic and lets out a howl as the audience applauds or- in some cases- joins in with the howl, as ‘Dragontown’ blares back into life over the arena sound system. Wolfang throws up his arms for some cheers, and gets another ovation before he makes his way backstage. *