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Civ
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Post by Civ » Sat Nov 13, 2004 12:30 am

My luck with women has been utter crap, thus far. For the latest girl I went out with, I really did do the whole nice guy thing. She said she wanted a guy who at least knew the basics of dancing, particularly salsa. I said, "fine. I'll go learn how to dance."

So, I signed up for dance lessons. I at least learned the basics of salsa, rumba, merengue, swing, tango, foxtrot, hustle, jitterbug, cha cha, and a few others. I told her this, and she was ecstatic. We then agreed to go on a date in New Brunswick (a city in New Jersey).

For the date, I had to drive to her house, which was an hour away from New Brunswick, pick her up, then drive back to the dance club. We had dinner, conversation, danced for an hour, then left. We liked dancing so much that we danced underneath the moonlit night with the stars out on top of the parking deck where no one could see us. I simply put on salsa music in my car and we just started dancing.

It was a hot night out and both of us were thirsty. So, I took her to a store to pick up something to drink. We then walked around Rutgers campus for a long time while holding hands and drinking our beverages. I then drove her back to her home and walked her up to the door.

As I turned around, she just about all but jumped me. The good-bye took about 20 minutes and both of us seemed to enjoy it. We then said we would both like to do this again soon and I would give her a call.

Now, this all happened on a Saturday. I gave her a call, but no response. I waited a few days, then gave her a 2nd call and got her mother. I had a polite conversation with her mother with nothing being out of the ordinary. Finally, late the following Thursday night, she gives me a call and tells me we shouldn't date anymore because she though I was too forward and I made her uncomfortable. She also said that she was not interested in either marriage or sex. This just dumbfounded me to no end. I never once mentioned either of those two topics at any point since I knew her and I didn't make any motions toward it.

I retraced the whole night a dozen times at the very least and at not one point did marriage or sex ever come up in conversation or through gesture. I talked to my father about it, my friends, my brother, and just about anyone else I know and all of them are completely baffled about why what happened occurred.

Ever since, I haven't even attempted dating. This one date was a huge disappointment and ever since the semester started, I simply have not had the time to try and establish a relationship. I used to think that women weren't too hard to figure out and the key was good conversation and listening to them, but after that date, I'm at a complete and utter lost.

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Ultimate Weapon
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Post by Ultimate Weapon » Sat Nov 13, 2004 12:42 am

Perhaps your intentions elluded her, so she sought advice with her mother who being an old crow told her that boys are only after one thing. Next time champ don't be afraid to confront women about sex and talk about it. It should not be a taboo subject. At least you will be able to explain your situation rather than have her fill her own head up with her ideas about what you are after. Again you missed the oppurtunity to bring up the subject.

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Post by RID Scourge » Sat Nov 13, 2004 12:45 am

Originally posted by homerbot
tmi!!! T!M!I!


What? We've had a lengthy discussion on this board about that, in fact.

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-Predaking-
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Post by -Predaking- » Sat Nov 13, 2004 12:58 am

I have to echo what Weapon said. Seems like she likes you a lot but perhaps her mom doesnt want her to date you Civ. Perhaps she's worried her little girl will have sex, get pregnant and married and leave her forever. Don't worry about her you sound like a very nice and caring guy so you shouldnt have problem finding another girl. Just forget about her and move on.

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Post by homerbot » Sat Nov 13, 2004 1:04 am

Originally posted by PaladinPrime
What? We've had a lengthy discussion on this board about that, in fact.
don't think i saw that, don't feel like reading about dudes talking about frenching thanks
Words suck. Down with words! -saysadie
To actually say which candidate has the better Iraq policy is like saying which Twinkie is more healthy. -Ultimate Weapon
I'd totally hit that Krystal chick...if she were real and sex with animals wasn't illegal. -Drspengler

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Post by RID Scourge » Sat Nov 13, 2004 5:04 am

Frenching? Nope. I'm talking about downstairs . . .

I think we were advising someone about what to do for his fiance that would be special, and he hadn't done that because he was kinda uneasy about it.

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Denyer
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Post by Denyer » Sat Nov 13, 2004 5:17 am

Yeah, I thought I'd read that right.

Don't worry about it HB, you've got your whole life ahead of you...

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Post by homerbot » Sat Nov 13, 2004 5:19 am

Originally posted by Denyer
Yeah, I thought I'd read that right.

Don't worry about it HB, you've got your whole life ahead of you...
which is why i would rather find things out on the way than read about a bunch of people most of which at least almost 10 years older than me talking about it
Words suck. Down with words! -saysadie
To actually say which candidate has the better Iraq policy is like saying which Twinkie is more healthy. -Ultimate Weapon
I'd totally hit that Krystal chick...if she were real and sex with animals wasn't illegal. -Drspengler

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Post by Denyer » Sat Nov 13, 2004 5:34 am

It has to be said, this may not be the best choice of forum if you're bothered about twenty-somethings occasionally mentioning sex.

Being serious for a second, finding stuff out by doing it isn't always a good life strategy. It's seen a lot of people in jail, pregnant or worse. There are more opportunities to research things beforehand now than at pretty much any time in history...

(Just one tip of which is: oral sex—never blow, whichever genders are involved. It's potentially fatal.)

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Post by RID Scourge » Sun Nov 14, 2004 1:58 am

Originally posted by Denyer
(Just one tip of which is: oral sex—never blow, whichever genders are involved. It's potentially fatal.)


Do you mean blow as in expell wind from your mouth? I just ask since "getting blown" is slang for having someone perform said act on you.

I'm going to assume you meant the expulsion of wind. Is it really? I'll have to file that away. Do you know why it's potentially fatal?

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Post by homerbot » Sun Nov 14, 2004 2:31 am

ok, i wasn't in the mood to hear that stuff at the time, hows that sound?
Words suck. Down with words! -saysadie
To actually say which candidate has the better Iraq policy is like saying which Twinkie is more healthy. -Ultimate Weapon
I'd totally hit that Krystal chick...if she were real and sex with animals wasn't illegal. -Drspengler

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Post by Denyer » Sun Nov 14, 2004 2:45 am

Originally posted by PaladinPrime
Do you know why it's potentially fatal?
Air embolism... something I can only hope took whichever idiot coined the term 'blowjob' out of the gene pool...

The same is true male->female, particularly during and after pregnancy.

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Post by Clay » Sun Nov 14, 2004 4:16 am

My only contribution:

There was a girl about a year and a half ago that I liked. I was way too pushy, and she rejected me cold.

Earlier today, I found that in the year since the last time I saw her, she's gotten married, joined the army, and gotten pregnant and is due to delivery on her 20th birthday.

Should I feel bad for being relieved that I'm not involved?

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Post by Ultimate Weapon » Sun Nov 14, 2004 4:30 am

Originally posted by Clay
Should I feel bad for being relieved that I'm not involved?


Hell no! Thats called satisfaction! Enjoy it while it lasts.:cool:

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Post by RID Scourge » Mon Nov 15, 2004 3:40 pm

Originally posted by Denyer
Air embolism... something I can only hope took whichever idiot coined the term 'blowjob' out of the gene pool...

The same is true male->female, particularly during and after pregnancy.


I see. It's kind of like injecting someone before getting the air bubbles out of the needle, then? That's frightening.

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Denyer
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Post by Denyer » Mon Nov 15, 2004 7:49 pm

Not really. There are plenty of easier ways to kill people; you'd have to be staggeringly unlucky, blowing directly onto a weak membrane, be deliberately trying to inflate, or be being kinky with an open bottle.

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Post by Reverend Shrapnel » Tue Nov 16, 2004 2:03 am

From first post to last post=Women and guys attracting them to killing people. How's it the case that all Internet forums seem to follow this pattern? Heh. Anyway, being funny and looking homeless don't help...
I've only just realised my sig's been horribly misspelled for about a year or two. Aren't you happy you read that? While you're here, erm, impeach Nixon!

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Post by Vin Ghostal » Tue Nov 16, 2004 7:22 pm

You guys really want to know how to succeed with the ladies? Ego aside, I'm no gigolo, but I've had my fair share of success with the ladies, so why not share what I do? I don't want to brag. I honestly want to help in the only way I know how. The list of little things you can do is endless, but here's a starter kit:

1. Save up your money and buy one nice pair of dark pants, either high-quality jeans or black pants (perhaps with subtle pinstripes) and two nice dress shirts, one solid and one striped, from Express for Men, H&M, or a similar store. Combined with a good black belt and nice, preferrably laceless black shoes, a winning combination for any occasion.

2. Buy or download Donnell Jones' album "Where I Wanna Be". Of the ten women I have been with, I have played that album in the background for eight, and six have specifically commented on how perfect the album is for the moment. It's subtle, sophisticated, smooth music that sets the perfect mood and will satisfy her tastes.

3. Buy some incense and an incense burner. Burn two in the 72 hours before any occasion with a lady, but don't burn the stuff when they're actually in the room.

4. Buy candles. Lots and lots of candles.

5. Buy some Crest tooth whitening formula. "Good teeth" always scores surprisingly high on surveys of women's desires, and a little extra shine can't hurt. You can get it cheap at the supermarket.

6. Educate yourself. Have one "favorite" you can make reference to in the following categories: red and white wine, mixed drink, jazz musician, classical musician, obscure dream travel destination, Baroque artist, 18th century artist. It doesn't matter if your "favorite" is the only one you've learned about - women are usually captivated by a man with a diverse array of interests. Couple this stuff with the wealth of knowledge you already possess, and you'll be a far more well-rounded person. My answers? 2000 Renault Claret, 2002 French Pinot-Chardonnay, Seven & Seven, Turrentine, Liszt, Bhutan, Rubens, and Pannini. Trust me, it helps.

7. Discard every pickup or opening line you've ever learned. The most successful approach to a woman in various informal surveys I've read? The most direct: tell the girl you've noticed her, she's very beautiful/has great eyes/has great style/etc., buy her a drink. Keep it simple.

8. Don't bring up more than one of your geeky interests on the first date or occasion. One is fine - on my first date with my fiance, I dipped into my love of Transformers. She seemed to like it - a weird, quirky dash amongst things. Just don't go on and on about your comic collection or your authentic Duncan McLeod kitanas. Limits.

9. Always, always, ALWAYS carry a lighter on you, even if you don't smoke and aren't attracted to girls who do. It's an easy conversation starter or ice breaker. I'd be lying if I said it hasn't worked for me once or twice.

10. Final thought for now - respect a woman's personal space, but don't stand across the room either. Once engaged in conversation, keep close enough that the woman can move closer and initiate contact if she's interested, but far enough away that she can still breathe without smelling that Old Spice you heaped on too enthusiastically earlier in the night.

I hope that helps.
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Post by Ultimate Weapon » Tue Nov 16, 2004 7:39 pm

Im just going to rely on my charming personality, besides flouride toothpaste is icky!

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Post by RID Scourge » Tue Nov 16, 2004 7:48 pm

Yay! My ex wants to be my friend again! :D

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