Love advice

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Mirage
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Love advice

Post by Mirage » Tue Mar 15, 2005 8:28 pm

Ok, it's turning out to be a bad few days !!!!

What the heck is going on???

Right, let's start, as we all now know I got demoted yesterday which was bad...........

Went to see my girlfriend today and took her some stuff I had printed off for her art project, no problem there, then like every 5 minutes she was like 'are you ok? is something wrong, you don't look happy?' to which I replied 'I'm fine, just a bit miffed about my job'. must have happened at least a dozen times within the hour! Due to the questioning I was feeling even more poop because I had tried to be happy and because she was constantly asking me if I was ok it was making me feel worse!

By now I had a headache coming on which worsened the situation, she came up to me and asked 'what do you want to do tonight?' to which I would reply 'uhm, not sure yet, have you any suggestions?' every 20 seconds she would say the same thing and I was getting really miffed at this point and said I was gonna get an early night, then she got in a mood and showed me the door, not even a goodbye hug, smile or kiss! I went to the car, went home and tried to phone her over a period of like an hour to which there was no reply! Finally got through and recieved miserable sounding one word answers, gee that really makes me feel better! after about ten minutes of the usual oine sided conversation she said she was going! Fine!!!

I'm getting really tired of this! we've been going out with each other for a year and a half now but i am really tired of situations like these arising!! If she was on her period fair enough but, what the heck am I supposed to think??? Not only that but she borrowed £20 off me today!! Thing is I do really love her, she is wonderful!

What do I do?
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Dead Man Wade
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Post by Dead Man Wade » Tue Mar 15, 2005 8:52 pm

Well, I'd wait until things have calmed down, and she's willing to listen, then explain the situation to her. Tell her your situation at work. Tell her you were in a bad mood, and (though you love her) her incessant questioning was kind of getting on your nerves. Apologize for being cross, etc., and everything should be fine.:)

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angloconvoy
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Post by angloconvoy » Tue Mar 15, 2005 9:01 pm

Its worth noting that use of the phrase "incessant questioning" can only lead to trouble
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Elita-One
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Post by Elita-One » Tue Mar 15, 2005 9:24 pm

Originally posted by fort_max
Well, I'd wait until things have calmed down, and she's willing to listen, then explain the situation to her. Tell her your situation at work. Tell her you were in a bad mood, and (though you love her) her incessant questioning was kind of getting on your nerves. Apologize for being cross, etc., and everything should be fine.:)


I totally agree.

Girls like to ask questions & I know I try to help my man when he's had a bad day. Sometimes I'll let him watch his TV shows or put some more effort into our dinner. But while trying to help, we can make the problem worse by asking the same thing over & over again in the hopes that he will open up more with each question. I really do beleive it's a subconcious thing.
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Ultimate Weapon
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Post by Ultimate Weapon » Tue Mar 15, 2005 11:35 pm

Women need to talk about their lives and events that happen during the day. It helps their brains to produce seratonin, an anti-stress hormone. Next time talk out your feelings, even though you don't want to. Just remember you will be helping her reach her seratonin level, so that she will remain calm. Afterwards you can turn on the tube so your mind can produce the dopamine.

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Wildrider
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Post by Wildrider » Wed Mar 16, 2005 5:51 pm

Nothing in the following post is intended as an insult to the original thread starter, but...........

There's a definite whine eminating from these posts. I know you've had a rough time at work, but you need to pull yourself together and sort out the job situation and not take out the consequences on your girlfriend.

Decide what you want to do when she asks you rather than mumble with indecision and show her love and affection, take her out and spoil her, have a good time together, because if she has fun you'll have fun, moping never helps.

Talk about your problems, that's what being in a relationship is all about, but don't get annoyed/upset when after constantly asking how YOU are and what YOU want to do all night, your girlfriend becomes upset because you sulk off wanting an early night leaving her alone when clearly all she wanted was to see if YOU were ok.

Yet you feel hard done by?

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Mirage
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Post by Mirage » Wed Mar 16, 2005 9:18 pm

in response to wildrider's post....

Allow me to clarify sir mr Wildrider..........................

point 1, in the relationship I am the one who wants to talk about my feelings, she prefers to bottle them up.

point 2, without knowing her you don't know the type of person she is, she doesn't like going out places she prefers to stay in, she doesn't like pubs, clubs or anything the like, she also likes to be in early ie' 10pm. Whenever and frequently I do spoil her rotten thank you! Always have, always will, no expense spared and no time too great!!!!

point 3, although the posts seem whining it's better than most of the stuff people post round here, i don't like deep meaningful conversation but i don't like random crap either, i post what i like and keep it within the boundaries, i have always used the board to vent my feelings, it allows people to get to know the real me, if you see me as whining then in real life i guess you'd see me as whining too, fair enough, whatever. you're very judgemental and i guess in a way it's my fault for putting the way i feel and my own personal feelings here on the board, but from your response, the term 'head' and 'arse' and 'out of' seem to come in to play.

i have read your post and noted your comments which are appreciated but after assessing them as i have the others, there is only myself who can actually use them in the real world to compare with my relationship and in conclusion they are completely inaccurate Wildrider but thanks for trying............
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Mirage
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Post by Mirage » Thu Mar 17, 2005 10:38 pm

hmmmm, i feel strangely bad about the coments i made in the post directly above this, i feel as if i may have given a verbal beating to wildrider, sorry buddy, i'm just emotionally driven
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Wildrider
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Post by Wildrider » Thu Mar 17, 2005 10:41 pm

Originally posted by Mirage
whining too, fair enough, whatever. you're very judgemental


I'd argue that I said you posts were whiney, not you personally, so you could say I was judgemental of your posts. My post really wasn't meant as an insult and your reply for the most part was very polite. Thanks for the that, but I was expecting a swift F*** y**.

If you throw out your feelings and 'real life' predicaments to this board, you are to be commended because that in some way shows an openess and honesty, that the majority of the populace find alien. (Myself Included)

Of course I can't know the kind of girl she is, or the kind of man you are. You ask for advice based solely on the information provided in the original post, with no insight to character or prior situations, only that you were tired of 'situations like this' arising.

The information provided highlighted that you were unhappy after work problems and suffering from stress related headaches and as such this was causing conflict in your relationship.

No offence chief, all the best.:)

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Mirage
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Post by Mirage » Thu Mar 17, 2005 10:45 pm

Originally posted by Wildrider

chief


hmmm, i like being called chief, sorry wildrider, i'm just odd
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Ultimate Weapon
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Post by Ultimate Weapon » Thu Mar 17, 2005 10:49 pm

Originally posted by Mirage
hmmm, i like being called chief, sorry wildrider, i'm just odd


I consider you more like a diplomat.

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Wildrider
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Post by Wildrider » Fri Mar 18, 2005 1:56 pm

Originally posted by Mirage
, sorry wildrider, i'm just odd


Don't apologise, we've just done the unthinkable, had an emotionally driven discussion, without resorting to ubiquitous insults.

Bravo!

I'll buy you a Throttlebot at Auto-Assembly, to make up for it, you can have anyone you like as long as it's 'Freeway'.

:D

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