Originally posted by Jetfire 2.1
I totally enjoyed it. Both times. First time far more vigous. And both times people cheered the ending and anything Yoda did (Especially the 2 red guards). I guess people in your cinema were constantly thinking "This is going to be great" rather than watching the acxtural film and getting involved.
No, I just wasn't surrounded by fanboys.
NOOOOOOOOOO, THE RAGE WITHIN ME BUILDS EVEN MORE
First off, George Lucas has BILLIONS of dollars worth of CGI ability... and yet the movie keeps using Powerpoint effects in between scenes? The first time it happened I was like, "well... I guess 'swirl' ISN'T really a Powerpoint effect..." then I saw checker-box and waited the entire movie for the tires screeching sound or at least the "WHOOOOSH"... sadly I was never given either. Using it ONCE is an homage to the original series, using it 349589345 is retarded. For some reason I'm far more angered at Lucas' resistance to using the star wipe effect than anything else. I would have clapped wildly if he had ended the"NOOOOOOOOOOOO" scene with a star wipe and a "WHOOOOSHHH".
The dialogue was corny, everytime Padme opened her mouth I was conflicted. Every fiber of my being wanted to punch her in the face, but... she was being played by the uber-hotness that is Natalie Portman. Never have I debated such things with myself before, for never before in my life have I had a desire to blatantly beat a woman so much. These were new emotions and I had no idea how to react to them.
General Grevious was supposed to be some amazing badass, instead he just sucked. If you expect me to go into more explaination why watch the Clone Wars cartoon and compare that Grevious with the Episode III Grevious. Something tells me the Episode III Grevious was really the Clone Wars Grevious' twin brother: General Sucksalot. "OOOH 4 LIGHT SABERS" only to get his head lopped off.
Then there is the Force. Unless you are some sort of idiotic Star Wars fanboy it is impossible to deny that Lucas simply ripped off old Samurai movies when "creating" the idea of the Jedi (you should read "Jedi" as "Samurai" from now on). I can envision Lucas giggling over a typewriter with a copy of Hagakure, but maybe that is giving him too much respect. In short, the "Force" is really the idea of "Ki". In Episodes IV-VI the idea was developed, mostly because it was simply lifted (like much of the rest of the movies) from the Hidden Fortress. This has come to light over the years forcing Lucas to admit that AT LEAST 3-CPO and R2-D2 were "inspired" by the Hidden Fortress, never mind that the main character in Hidden Fortress is from a farm and being lead by a Samurai, surely George Lucas came up with that on his own... the only difference is that Lucas decided to be clever and switched the farmgirl into a farmboy. Yeah, and Vanilla Ice added another "TCH" to Under Pressure. Anyway, thats another rant. This time around poor porcine George didn't have a Kurosawa movie to ripoff so the Force simply became a way for Jedi to lift rocks and call light sabers to their hands at a moment's notice.
Then there was the entire lava pit fight. Kenobi finds out that Anakin has turned into a mass-child murderer (because it will somehow allow Anakin to keep saying more awesome lines like "You're so beautiful" to Padme if he killed all the "Younglings") so instead of killing Anakin for mass murder and ending it there and then Kenobi just chops off his legs and leaves him. I guess Kenobi never read any comics in which the bad guy leaves the hero alone to be killed by nature/a plot, the good guy always gets away. Episode III proved that this concept works the other way around also: if the good guy is a ****ing moron and turns soft at the last second because the writer realizes that he has to turn soft or kill Anakin (thus saving a few billion people from dying, and killing off Episoide IV-VI also).
Padme's death scene made me realize that the future is going to be absolutely terrible when it comes to medicine. The official cause of Padame's death? "SHE HAS LOST THE WILL TO LIVE!" WHAT THE ****? FIRE THAT DOCTOR AND GET A REAL ONE IN HERE! They have ****ing robots, can turn people into cyborgs, can jet around in space, and can't seem to offer a SINGLE reason why she really died? No medical robot went "BLEP BEEP BLEEP GIVE HER A ****ING C-SECTION SO SHE WILL LIVE"? I mean seriously, she dies RIGHT after naming her kids in the most melodramatic fashion ever, complete with the head roll. I thought this stuff only happened in soap operas?
How "great" the movie is can be boiled down to the "NOOOOOOOOOO" scene. There isn't a single person alive who didn't laugh when they saw that.
If anything this move proved what I've been saying for years: George Lucas can't create anything without ripping it off from somewhere else. The second he tries it is like a retard trying to throw a javelin, he just spears himself in the balls with it.
Either that or Lucas is some sort of twisted genius who wanted to prove that he could make a total **** movie and still get people to say it was amazing.