"What would you do during a zombie invasion?"

Knightdramon · Post by **Knightdramon** » Fri Nov 24, 2006 11:26 am

I'm pretty sure that the vast majority has come accross at least one topic like that in almost any kind of forum. So I came accross one today and...well, it seems we've got 16 year olds being professional soldiers. I'll post the stupidest answers below

Probably make a fort or barricade, and keep all kinds of weapon with me

CLOSE UP:
-Taser
-Switchblade
-Gladius

LONG RANGE:
-GLOCK 17
-Winchester .22
-Shotgun
-M16
-Mp-5

THROWABLE:
-Frag Grenades
-Flash Grenades
-Percussion Grenades

Seriously, does this guy even know how to use half of the firearms he mentions?

1. I would get a knife, get in my car, and drive to the biggest, most protective mall i could find. I would drive through the front door and drive around the mall (running over zombies) . Then my plan is explained in (#) simple steps:
1: Drive to gun shop
2: Get machine gun, shotgun AND a sniper rifle, which is needed for my plan (ammo for all as well)
3. Drive to nearest Macys
4. Get a backpack
5. Drive to food court
6. Get out of car
7. Kill near by zombies
8. Go to nearest food seller
9. Grab food and pack it up
10: Get on the top of a resturaunt
11. Snipe all zombies outdoors through window
12: Get in car
13: Drive out fire exit
14: Drive away

All this is done while killing zombies and letting any survivors in the car

Another regular Rambo\GI Joe. Somehow, he thinks he can snipe zombies as if there's no tomorrow, and that he's somehow got a car that's got the capacity of an airplane

I'd go to the nearest gunstore, load up on everything heavy-duty I could find (shotguns and sniper rifles), go to a collectables store and get a katana (seems to be the best melee weapon for this situation)

Go to the nearest army/air force base and grab some grenades and anything else that would be useful.

Go to the gas station and load up on gasoline. Not only for vehicles, but also for fire bombs when we need em.

Go to the nearest mall. Make sure all entrances are securely shut and bolted. Go to the roof. Pick off as many as you can with the sniper rifle. When you run out of ammo, go to the sportsman section of the mall and use bows and arrows. Use em.

By this time, alot of zombies should be dead. Get to the parking lot, find the biggest vehicle you can find. A supply truck should work fine.

Use some of the gas you have. Move on to the next mall while loading up again at passing gun stores. Rinse and repeat.

Questions?

Somehow this dude completely ignores the trips to the "army force base" [if he'll ever get in], and probably thinks he's the only person that thought of going to a gunstore and getting every weapon. And he's going to go on living by moving to malls with a supply truck. Zombies will only exist outside the malls, nowhere else. And he's being wise about it.

Seriously, do any of these retarded 16-18 year olds even know what they're saying? And what's up with a mall being the IDEAL place to barricade yourself in? Malls have TONS of exits, most of which are also the storage department of the various stores etc. How the hell can somebody barricade a mall without a few dozen "zombies" get in from the other entrances?

And last [but not least]...gunstores and katanas? I don't know what it's like in America, but in Athens I only know of one gunstore near me [like 20 minutes away], and I wouldn't dare going to that basement hole.

Any of you nice lads got some "stories" like this that made you laugh, and would like to share?

Halfshell · Post by **Halfshell** » Fri Nov 24, 2006 12:02 pm

I think some people have seen Dawn of the Dead too many times.

In the event of a zombie holocaust, the most likely course of events would be one from:

- You get killed by zombies
- You get killed by the stampede of panicked people running from the zombies

The kid who'd let all the survivors in his car is screwed if it stalls, or he lets in an infected survivor, or one of the survivors is bigger than him and decides that they really should have the gun.

There is only one viable course of action available should the dead rise:

Take car. Go to mum's. Kill Phil. Grab Liz. Go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint and wait for all of this to blow over.

slartibartfast · Post by **slartibartfast** » Fri Nov 24, 2006 1:27 pm

give 'em the ol' "sign of kish"

sorry, getting off subject...

Clogs · Post by **Clogs** » Fri Nov 24, 2006 2:06 pm

These young guys have just seen too much Dawn of the Dead and Rambo. Guns and sharpies and bombs? Nah - why not go the whole hog and grab a nuke? Should be easy for them, given their foolproof planning!

Um. But that would lead to 'what would you do during a nuclear holocaust?' Frankly, in that scenario, the old joke applies and I'd go out with a bang...

If it were zombies, then it'd just all fall apart and be a generally rotten experience.

Post by **inflatable dalek** » Fri Nov 24, 2006 2:25 pm

Considering that a Zombie invasion is an entirely unrealistic situation anyway I see no reason why these peeps shouldn't come up with entirely unrealistic solutions.

And as such I will spend the Zombi invasion spanking Shakira.

Sixswitch · Post by **Sixswitch** » Fri Nov 24, 2006 6:03 pm

Originally posted by inflatable dalek

And as such I will spend the Zombi invasion spanking Shakira.

An unrealistic situation it might be, but I'm nonetheless curious about how this would help fight off the zombie invasion...

-Ss

StoneCold Skywarp · Post by **StoneCold Skywarp** » Fri Nov 24, 2006 8:59 pm

Originally posted by Brendocon
Take car. Go to mum's. Kill Phil. Grab Liz. Go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint and wait for all of this to blow over.

Cock it.

RID Scourge · Post by **RID Scourge** » Fri Nov 24, 2006 9:25 pm

I'd invest in cheap, flamable alcohol in a glass bottle, rags and lighters. Oh, and duct tape to keep the rags in the bottle.

Post by **Sades** » Fri Nov 24, 2006 9:34 pm

I'd wait for the zoms to rot out, of course. They're in a state of decay as it is, as they continue to deteriorate it's only logical to assume that they'd eventually be too decomposed to move, right? They'd "die"?

I'd sit at home and watch movies. Tell my parents and fam members/BF's fam members to stay inside, watch a lot of movies and shoot anyone gooey.

Cliffjumper · Post by **Cliffjumper** » Sat Nov 25, 2006 12:36 am

I'd hope that when I was thrown out of the enclosure by The Highly Strung Northerner, I suddenly developed super-human powers and could kill a platoon of soldiers with my thumbs.

Seriously, has there ever been a less plausible film than 28 Days Later? Fantasia has more ****ing believability in it.

Post by **Sades** » Sat Nov 25, 2006 3:03 am

Originally posted by Cliffjumper
Seriously, has there ever been a less plausible film than 28 Days Later?

Yes!

Suspension of belief is generally recommended when watching anything featuring the "walking undead".

Or Tom Cruise movies.

Hawkeye · Post by **Hawkeye** » Sat Nov 25, 2006 4:21 am

please brend will save us all. dont you read his comics? he's always prepared...and he can breathe in space!!!!

Cliffjumper · Post by **Cliffjumper** » Sat Nov 25, 2006 11:54 am

Originally posted by saysadie
Yes!

Suspension of belief is generally recommended when watching anything featuring the "walking undead".

But there's suspension of disbelief (I'm the guy who owns Gobots, yeh?

) and then there's rampant stupidity. I have no problem with much of 28 Days Later. Well, it's really, really bad, but, y'know, so're most films. I'm just about okay with big zombie plague and bunch of soldiers surviving and all that. But when the key character has a sudden personality-and-body change because Garland and Boyle are a pair of over-rated cnts living on old glories with no idea what to do with the end of the film, it sort of pops the wishbones out, and the jagged metal sheers straight through the tyres, and next thing you kow you're leaning off the edge of a cliff, with the front doors air-side of the road. You shift slightly, and you're over the edge, careering down a ravine to a fiery death.

And Christopher Eccleston can not act, which sort of ruins the thing a little. I mean, he was alright in Shallow Grave, but that's because it was the first thing I remember seeing him in, so he's pretty impressive. When you've seen him do exactly the same thing in numerous other roles, you soon realise he's an ugly goon with the range of a paper aeroplane. A paper aeroplane made by a girl. (Erm, no offense, like

).

Halfshell · Post by **Halfshell** » Sun Nov 26, 2006 2:10 pm

Originally posted by Sixswitch
An unrealistic situation it might be, but I'm nonetheless curious about how this would help fight off the zombie invasion...

I don't think he claimed that it would... it's just what he'd like to spend the time doing...

Prowl1984 · Post by **Prowl1984** » Mon Nov 27, 2006 5:27 pm

i'm all for joy riding, running over the undead and people i don't like...zombies or not i have an excuse.

in fact i'd quite like to sit up somewhere high and watch idiots like the ones who post the commando crap run out and get themselves killed

Post by **inflatable dalek** » Mon Nov 27, 2006 7:58 pm

Originally posted by Brendocon
I don't think he claimed that it would... it's just what he'd like to spend the time doing...

It wouldn't raise the dead, but it would raise something...

28 Days was OK, but I'd rather have a proper Day of the Triffids movie.

Garand · Post by **Garand** » Tue Nov 28, 2006 12:35 am

If I remember correctly from reading my ex's copy of "The Zombie Survivial Handbook", the recommended items that stuck out in my mind were to procure an M1 Garand rifle and either an armoured truck, if available, or if not, a VW.

As long as the Zombies don't where helmets, I'm nearly set..

Besides, it's what's done after the invasion that has to be planned for. Someone has to get paid to dispose of corpses.. again.. Funeral industry is going to make a fortune. Invest now in cemetaries, funeral homes, and casket manufacturers* .

*Investment suggestions are provided for comedic purposes only and should not be taken as logical advice. Always consult a licensed finicial consultment before making any monetary investments.

RID Scourge · Post by **RID Scourge** » Tue Nov 28, 2006 2:39 am

Meh. I say we just pile them up and burn them. That way, we don't end up with Zombies playing possum, and digging themselves up later to plan a new invasion. Of course, that's only a worry if one of them happens to have a brain that hasn't rotted out/been eaten by other Zombies, though I suppose that after a few generations of the infection, intelligent Zombies might evolve.

RCOSD · Post by **RCOSD** » Tue Nov 28, 2006 1:31 pm

Sod them.

Get the tv on, grab a couple of cold ones, and hit up friends online.

Let the rest of the world deal with them

Post by **zigzagger** » Tue Nov 28, 2006 4:10 pm

edit: Uh....I don't know...Pretend that I am one of them. Then, once I gain their trust, I will use my infectious power of dance to make the zombies dance uncontrollably to Michael Jackson's "Thriller"....which would cause them to return to their graves after the song is over.....?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDSojuMUJ50