Work jargon!

Post by **Clay** » Wed Nov 01, 2006 2:54 am

Send report only to Motor Pool in mail!

JRCT001,seq432,$CONTROL

Send Keyfast report to Rose-Casina Thomas!

Etc., etc.

Those are things only I and about two other people in the world can make sense of. Neat, huh?

Post your exclusive work-related jargon here and baffle the rest of us!

Post by **zigzagger** » Wed Nov 01, 2006 3:22 am

(not me speaking) "Could you get me two 6.66I and one 1.11
Have the 6.66I mixed in .02 vol from the brand in the blue container and the 1.11 also in a .02 vol...no wait make that a .01 vol from the brand in the red bottlle since it is darker.
Put a black brush in the 1.11 mixture and a grey one in 6.66I mixture
...thanx. oh and could you do me a big favor....could you get us some coffee?"

Post by **Sades** » Wed Nov 01, 2006 10:02 am

"TSTO"

Always a favourite.

Random Sweep · Post by **Random Sweep** » Wed Nov 01, 2006 10:13 am

roll fold 8pp to 1/3 A4 with in-line glue on the TS72

verytired · Post by **verytired** » Wed Nov 01, 2006 12:44 pm

The cust acc needs canx, but it's moved out of UA to Aq. We''ll need an F2B form sent to IGT asap, before the objection period terminates and we have an ET TWS, which is just hell.

Oh yeah, it's the coolest place to work.

Post by **inflatable dalek** » Wed Nov 01, 2006 4:37 pm

Tesco recently had a huge drive to get rid of jargon in the workplace on the grounds they could hire less inteligent people if they spelt things out very, very slowly every time. So it's no longer a PDU, but "That handheld computer thingey".

Halfshell · Post by **Halfshell** » Wed Nov 01, 2006 4:39 pm

Post by **inflatable dalek** » Wed Nov 01, 2006 4:44 pm

Originally posted by Brendocon
BBB

Bloody Big Boobs?

Halfshell · Post by **Halfshell** » Wed Nov 01, 2006 4:57 pm

Bull**** Baffles Brains.

The notion that if you use enough jargon, you can confuse people into going along with anything.

I felt it apt for the topic.

Post by **inflatable dalek** » Wed Nov 01, 2006 5:01 pm

Originally posted by Brendocon
The notion that if you use enough jargon, you can confuse people into going along with anything.

Most employers can get people to go along with most things just by saying "Who pays your wages?" in a sinister voice a few times.

Halfshell · Post by **Halfshell** » Wed Nov 01, 2006 5:49 pm

It's a "for use with customers" thing.

Post by **inflatable dalek** » Thu Nov 02, 2006 1:00 pm

So you go out of your way to use confusing, meaningless jargon to befudle your customers?

You're not a banker are you?

Sixswitch · Post by **Sixswitch** » Thu Nov 02, 2006 5:34 pm

Originally posted by inflatable dalek
So you go out of your way to use confusing, meaningless jargon to befudle your customers?

You're not a banker are you?

No, but it rhymes.

*Bang*Bang*Cymbal!*

-Ss

PS: I'll get my coat.

Post by **inflatable dalek** » Thu Nov 02, 2006 6:46 pm

Originally posted by Sixswitch
No, but it rhymes.

Surely calling him a Bankers more insulting? At least the other's fun...

Bingo1 · Post by **Bingo1** » Fri Nov 03, 2006 2:12 pm

"going forward" - what kind of management-wankery speak is that? As opposed to "going back"?

Cretins.

Post by **inflatable dalek** » Fri Nov 03, 2006 4:16 pm

Originally posted by Bingo1
"going forward" - what kind of management-wankery speak is that? As opposed to "going back"?

Yes, exactly opposed to that.

Halfshell · Post by **Halfshell** » Fri Nov 03, 2006 4:20 pm

You can go forward. You can go back. You can go left. You can go right. You can go up. You can go down. But only if they ask nicely.

There's nothing wankery about the term "going forward" as far as I can see...

Post by **inflatable dalek** » Fri Nov 03, 2006 4:32 pm

Originally posted by Brendocon
There's nothing wankery about the term "going forward" as far as I can see...

Unless s/he means going forward with your hand whilst wanking?

There's some jobs your boss'd tell you to do that.