Michael Bay's future film!

desolate · Post by **desolate** » Thu Jul 02, 2009 4:22 am

This made me laugh so hard i stopped breathing for a few seconds. The future of Michael Bay. contains some profanity

Post by **inflatable dalek** » Thu Jul 02, 2009 6:09 am

Because obviously if Bay were to do a film with a serious historical setting that's what he'd do. Look at all the robots, space men and talking wolves in Pearl Harbour (though to be fair any or all of those things would have improved that film).

And isn't it a bit rich to suggest Bay's a racist when trying to pass off photos of different black men as the same person (note all the white characters consistently use pictures of the same actor).

I'm also not sure if this should go in the ROTF sub forum or GD (on the grounds it's about more general films).

Ackula · Post by **Ackula** » Thu Jul 02, 2009 7:04 am

I'm moving it as it obviously has nothing to do with anything.

Halfshell · Post by **Halfshell** » Thu Jul 02, 2009 12:26 pm

I especially like the fact that the people who've put these storyboards together in the name of parody are also the ones pointing out how stupid the stills are.

It's like postmodernism never happened.

desolate · Post by **desolate** » Thu Jul 02, 2009 3:23 pm

come on guys! you gotta find it a little funny. lighten up! if this film was actually made, we'd all go see it, cause it would be epic.

Vin Ghostal · Post by **Vin Ghostal** » Thu Jul 02, 2009 3:27 pm

Cliffy, can you put together one of those invoices for this guy?

Sir Auros · Post by **Sir Auros** » Thu Jul 02, 2009 4:42 pm

I thought it was pretty good.

Reflector · Post by **Reflector** » Thu Jul 02, 2009 6:15 pm

I tried to click that link, but I'm at work and the firewall caught it. The firewall has different categories ("Games," "Social Networking," etc) that it identifies when it blocks something.

This time it was "Tasteless." That's classic.

Sir Auros · Post by **Sir Auros** » Thu Jul 02, 2009 6:35 pm

inflatable dalek wrote:Because obviously if Bay were to do a film with a serious historical setting that's what he'd do. Look at all the robots, space men and talking wolves in Pearl Harbour (though to be fair any or all of those things would have improved that film).

And isn't it a bit rich to suggest Bay's a racist when trying to pass off photos of different black men as the same person (note all the white characters consistently use pictures of the same actor).

I'm also not sure if this should go in the ROTF sub forum or GD (on the grounds it's about more general films).

Are you familiar with the concept of satire? I'm pretty sure the inclusion of robots, space men, and werewolves is pointing out how far-fetched Bay's movies can be. The storyboards are presented as being made by Bay; therefore, pics of different black actors add to the satire. Bay can make a shitload of money, but that doesn't make him a good director.

Post by **inflatable dalek** » Thu Jul 02, 2009 6:45 pm

I know satire. I see none in that link.

And if nothing else the "Hollywood ruins a classic book with explosions and shit" sketch is real old at this point, and has been done in a actual funny and satirical way a lot of times before.

Cliffjumper · Post by **Cliffjumper** » Thu Jul 02, 2009 6:47 pm

Sir Auros wrote:Are you familiar with the concept of satire? I'm pretty sure the inclusion of robots, space men, and werewolves is pointing out how far-fetched Bay's movies can be.

Aye, that one about the alien robots who were alive t and could turn into vehicles was utter shite. Only someone well gay could be interested in something so far-fetched.

EDIT: The Harry Enfield Terminator/Merchant Ivory one was probably the best. "He's used the wrong knife!". Either that or the Hamlet trailer in Last Action Hero - "To be, or not to be... NOT TO BE!!!!" *cue shit exploding*

Sir Auros · Post by **Sir Auros** » Thu Jul 02, 2009 7:06 pm

So, how do Bay's nuts taste in your mouth, guys? You sound like overly-defensive apologists.

Dalek - You're just flat-out wrong. You don't get to say that something you disagree with or dislike isn't satire, it's not a subjective definition.

Cliffjumper - I was referring more to the Hollywood conveniences in his movies as being far-fetched. An example would be how the computers in the first Transformers movie were basically magic, and also easily manipulated and access by some random Australian girl.

Post by **inflatable dalek** » Thu Jul 02, 2009 7:12 pm

The only direct mention of Bay I've made in this thread is pointing out Pearl Harbour isn't very good. And for the record I've found all the non TF stuff of his I've seen (though I've never watched Bad Boys, which is apparently his best one) to be utterly awful. And he is indeed ripe for parody as he's almost a walking caricature of a sit coms version of a Hollywood director.

In other words, saying "That skit is piss poor" isn't the same as saying "Michael Bay rocks my pants and anyone who disagrees sucks".

Skidmark · Post by **Skidmark** » Thu Jul 02, 2009 7:44 pm

Reflector wrote:I tried to click that link, but I'm at work and the firewall caught it. The firewall has different categories ("Games," "Social Networking," etc) that it identifies when it blocks something.

This time it was "Tasteless." That's classic.

Have you tried proxies? here's a good one I use to over-ride the the firewall at school.

http://proxypy.com/

just enter the link in the address bar it provides and all your problems should go away. If not, your firewall can go to hell.

Post by **inflatable dalek** » Thu Jul 02, 2009 7:47 pm

I don't think Reflector's going to find it worth the disciplinary action his work would take against him if they found out he was circumventing their firewall.

angloconvoy · Post by **angloconvoy** » Fri Jul 03, 2009 1:03 am

inflatable dalek wrote:Michael Bay rocks my pants and anyone who disagrees sucks

It's a quote from Dalek. Not out of context or anything. I could be a journalist these days with that kind of skill.

Oh, as for the article, I like reading Cracked, but that one didn't do it for me. Not awful but not so great. There's a much better Michael Bay's original script for TF2 on there somewhere. It is true that he shouldn't be allowed to direct story, much like how Bryan Singer shouldn't be allowed to direct action. Come to think of it, if you combined the two, you'd probably get one competent director.