Age difference, Does it make a difference?

BOOBS1 · Post by **BOOBS1** » Mon Apr 05, 2010 10:20 pm

So I'm 27 and my s/o is 22. I met him when he was 20 and thought he was too young but would give it try. Didn't plan on staying with him,l but thought we could have fun for a while. We ended up falling in love, and he is the first man I've loved in years. However, now that I'm close to 9 months pregnant, he's been acting like an immature ass. So I was wondering, are all guys in thier 20's complete ass-holes or just him because he's young and being a complete piece of sh*t during my pregnancy, especially when he wanted a baby, but it's a girl. So she won't be able to continue where he left off playing football before he blew out his knee and lost his college scholarship. He's driving me crazy right now! So was I just an idiot for origionally dating someone 5 years younger than myself, or is it just him? I've left out a lot but still, any thoughts on the age difference?

Knightdramon · Post by **Knightdramon** » Tue Apr 06, 2010 9:52 am

Nice username.

In my country, age difference is a bit of an issue, only because men are [usually] occupied with chores such as college wannabies, university studies and then they *have* to enlist for 9 months to a year in army training\service. With all these in mind, a person can't really face the everyday chores a [rather generic, I know] woman does, because mostly up to that point he's been living on his parents expenses\country's measly army service.

Cultural diversity aside, I don't believe it has to make a difference. I've met women over 30 that have the maturity, both in life decisions and relationship decisions, of a 15 year old.

I personally find it very taxing to be expecting a child at 22. If, however, it was a consensual decision, there should be *some* adjusting problems but not on the scale you're describing. It's been drilled to our brains that we should party our asses out during our early 20ies, be irresponsible and so on because at our 30ies we're supposed to start a family, so make it's that stupid brainwashing that's keeping him up like that.

Rattrap's tail · Post by **Rattrap's tail** » Tue Apr 06, 2010 12:00 pm

In my country, it's rather normal.

Here, we've got a woman who is sixty years old and a guy who is something in between 25 and 30...

yes, Dutchieland is one strange place to live

Ackula · Post by **Ackula** » Tue Apr 06, 2010 2:27 pm

I don't personally think age matters that much, but it definitely can matter. Some people, both male and female, are terribly immature well into their 30's. Some are forced to grow up at a young age, and your boyfriend will probably be lumped into that category after the birth of his child.

Personally I think 22 is way too young to be having a kid, I was thoroughly scared to death at age 26 when my wife was pregnant. He will be forced to abandon much of what he has taken for granted for the past couple of years, and adapt to what he now has to deal with. If he doesn't, then you will need to find a suitable father figure for the child.

Speaking from personal experience though, as someone who originally married a much younger woman with an age difference identical to yours and his, it can go both ways. She was terribly immature, and we ended up getting a divorce because she just couldn't ever grow out of stupid school girl fits of jealousy and rage. So try not to generalize too much based on gender.

Sir Auros · Post by **Sir Auros** » Tue Apr 06, 2010 2:58 pm

I think most people are really immature at least until their mid-twenties. Immature in a significant way, as in, they can't have adult conversations or disagreements, not that they collect toys. There's more than one way of being immature, I guess.

Post by **Denyer** » Tue Apr 06, 2010 4:36 pm

Ten years between my parents, six between myself and my other half. Depends on the people.

kupimus aka(clocker) · Tue Apr 06, 2010 9:20 pm

id have to agree it depends on the people. my wife is 8 years older than me and im more of the mature one...but dont tell her that.

Savannahtron · Post by **Savannahtron** » Tue Apr 06, 2010 11:57 pm

Greece has an Army?

Hahaha, j/k.

Not sure, my wife and I had our first child when I was just 22, she was 24. We've been together for the last 12 years come June.

Sounds like Mister Man just needs a good swift kick in the arse. Tell him to man up, or he'll pay in court

borg72 · Post by **borg72** » Tue Apr 20, 2010 10:07 pm

me and mine are about the same age difference as boobs1 and hers, but the other way around. i wasn't worried (despite being the older one, being the boy kinda cancels it out in terms of maturity, lol), although she was a wee bit concerened about what her family might think. having met them, they seem to be ok about us.

they are far more worried that i'm using her to get US citizenship. to be honest, i don't care where we live, I'd just rather it was on the same continent, lol. America was simply a better option than here.

but no, in terms of age, it doesn't bother us in the least. well, my actual age bothers me, 27 and i feel like i'm 57, but apart from that...

Paul053 · Post by **Paul053** » Wed Apr 21, 2010 2:53 pm

Me and my other half is only 13 days difference. I am more mature at many points (and have much more gray hairs also) but I collect plastic toys. We had our girl at age of 30 and I still panic before she was born (being so nervous and the fear of losing my previous life's life, later, it is true). So it's normal he is panicking especially at the early 20s. Let him panic, he will be melted after seeing your cute little girl. Send him to the church or send him to the military to get him mature. I was in the Navy sailing for 2 years.

Here is a news made me puke.

BOOBS1 · Post by **BOOBS1** » Mon Apr 26, 2010 10:42 pm

Paul053 wrote:Me and my other half is only 13 days difference. I am more mature at many points (and have much more gray hairs also) but I collect plastic toys. We had our girl at age of 30 and I still panic before she was born (being so nervous and the fear of losing my previous life's life, later, it is true). So it's normal he is panicking especially at the early 20s. Let him panic, he will be melted after seeing your cute little girl. Send him to the church or send him to the military to get him mature. I was in the Navy sailing for 2 years.

Here is a news made me puke.

I'm due in 2 weeks and he has come around a little, he won't stop with the jokes but I think it comes from being nervous. I'm glad you posted this because I kept thinking about myself and not really considering how he's probally a little freaked out. At least he didn't disappear...

slartibartfast · Post by **slartibartfast** » Tue Apr 27, 2010 12:26 pm

I tend to find that age difference is more of about what generation you grew up with than maturity. Maturity happens when you have the opportunity to develop and blossom. Wouldn't necessarily agree that religious or military indoctrination would suit everyone though (wouldn't mind sailing for a couple of years though Paul053).

My thought is that for the last 9 months he's been a spectator, pregnancy being rather impossible to share. The anxiety and anticipation would probably drive anyone a bit crazy.

BOOBS1 wrote:At least he didn't disappear...

To me that means that he's ready to take on the responsibility. Everything else is secondary.

Umm... closing aphorism... We are all grown up babies?

All the best in any case.

Paul053 · Post by **Paul053** » Tue Apr 27, 2010 3:32 pm

slartibartfast wrote:Maturity happens when you have the opportunity to develop and blossom. Wouldn't necessarily agree that religious or military indoctrination would suit everyone though.

Yeah, that is true. Everyone's case could be different (and every destroyers are different also). The 2 year sailing experience had changed myself significantly to a new grown up but later kind of leaning to a wrong direction. 10 years after blessed to have religious directing me.

We are all grown up babies?

Yeah, this is even more true.