Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Transcript
Transcript of Revenge of the Fallen, as it is filmed.
: Dialogue is spoken in another language and translated. I also use it for locations subtitled in the movie.
<These brackets>: Dialogue is not given any clear subtitles, and I'm guessing.
[These brackets] are for descriptive stuff like growling.
Optimus Prime: Earth. Birth place of the human race. A species much like our own. Capable of great compassion.
17, 000 B.C.
Optimus Prime: ...and great violence. For in our quest to protect the humans, a deeper revelation dawns. Our worlds have met before.
Fallen: [Speaks in Cybertronian, growls]
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Act One: Shanghai
Shanghai, China, 22:14 hrs - today
Female News Announcer: [speaking in chinese]
Female News Announcer: Newsflash from the BBC.
Male News Announcer: Breaking news out of Shanghai. There's been a major toxic spill in the Shanghai factory district. The whole city is being [trails off]
Female News Announcer: We're staying on top of this developing story for you. We'll bring you any new information as we get it.
Pentagon - NEST Command
Female Pentagon officer: NEST Seahawks approaching target.
Pentagon officer: Three minutes until evacuation is complete, sir.
Pentagon officer: Chinese airspace has been locked and sealed, one-mile radius.
Morshower: All right, give NEST team the go.
Pentagon officer: Black Hawks, you're clear to land.
Skids: Ding-a-ling! Come out and get yo' ice cream. Any bad robot out there better get ready for an ass-whuppin'.
Optimus Prime: For the last two years, an advance team of new Autobots has taken refuge here under my command.
Lennox: Arcees, get ready to launch.
Arcee: We're locked and loaded.
Optimus Prime: Together, we form an alliance with the humans. A secret but brave squad of soldiers.
Lennox: All right, listen up. China's cover story on this one is toxic spill. They had to evac the area for search and rescue. This makes six enemy contacts in eight months. We gotta make sure this one does not get out in the public eye, so keep it tight.
Optimus Prime: A classified strike team called NEST. We hunt for what remains of our Decepticon foes, hiding in different countries around the globe.
Soldier: Roll in Alpha through Echo now.
Soldier: Move out! Let's go!
Lennox: All right, Ironhide. We got echoes. Vamos. Steel stacks at 2 o' clock!
Ironhide: [grunting] He's here. I smell him.
Graham: It's close. It's getting closer.
Soldier: Red light.
Epps: Oh no.
Lennox: What've you got?
Epps: Thermal ripple.
Lennox: Right, everybody, be steady... We're right on top of it.
Bald soldier from the first movie: Aah!
Lennox: I need an energy proton!
Soldiers: [indistinct yelling]
Epps: Panther One, requesting fire mission now!
Pentagon officer: Gunships on station. Rolling hot!
Black Hawk Pilot: Dog One, now we are engaging.
Black Hawk Pilot: We got a second Decepticon.
Lennox: Arcee, Twins! Target coming your way!
Mudflap: I got 'im, I got 'im!
Skids: Watch it, watch it-
Mudflap: Oof! Ah! Yah! I screwed that up... I'm okay. I'm all right.
Skids: This is combat, man!
Mudflap: Total brain freeze, man.
Skids: What's wrong with you?
Lennox: Bring in Sideswipe!
Sideswipe: Clear a path!
Sideswipe: Damn- I'm good!
Epps: Air support, we need Big Buddha to deliver the drop now!
Cargo Plane Pilot: Cyclone nine-eight, final attack hitting in one two zero. Clear drop in five, four, three, two, one.
Optimus Prime: [grunting] Autobots, I'm in pursuit.
Optimus Prime: Pull over!
Demolishor: [roaring] Oh!
Ironhide: Punk ass Decepticon!
Optimus Prime: Any last words?
Demolishor: This is not your pla-anet to rule. The Fallen shall rise again.
Epps: That doesn't sound good.
Optimus Prime: Not today.
Ron: Come on, let's go! All hands on deck! Frankie, Mojo, out! Come on, kiddo, we're on a schedule.
Sam: Slow down, Dad. Why are you in such a hurry to get rid of me, huh? Did you rent the room out?
Ron: No, I got other ideas for your room and it rhymes with home theater. Heh heh heh.
Judy: [sobs] Look what I found. It's your little baby booties.
Sam: Aw, Ma.
Judy: My little baby bootie boy. You can't go.
Sam: You see this, dad, this is how you're supposed to react when the fruit of your loins goes out into the cruel world to fend for himself, okay?
Ron: Yeah, my heart bleeds for you, pal. College. Bummer.
Judy: You have to come home. Every. Holiday. Not just big ones. You have to come home for Halloween.
Sam: Well I can't come home for Halloween, Mom.
Judy: Well, then we'll come to you.
Sam: You're not coming.
Judy: We'll dress up-
Sam: No, we're not going anywhere.
Judy: We'll be in costumes, you'll never know it's us.
Sam: You can't do that, Ma.
Ron: Would you let the kid breathe, for crying out loud? Come on, go pack. There's no way you're packed for a month-long trip. Come on, chop, chop! Let's go. March, young lady.
Sam: Ooh. Oh, dad.
Judy: I love it when you call me young lady, you dirty old man.
Ron: Eh, you ain't seen nothing yet.
Sam: Dad, Dad, Dad, whoa!
Sam: I'm watching what you're doing, Dad. It's not a rap video.
Ron: It's like a coach thing.
Sam: That was a really creepy move just now, dad.
Ron: Look. You, you, your, ah... your mother and me are really, really proud of you. I mean, you're the first Witwicky ever to go to college.
Judy: Now I'm crying again! This sucks!
Sam: You're gonna be okay, Ma.
Ron: You know, it's just going to be, you know, hard for her to accept that her boy's all grown up, you know, going out to handle the world on his own.
Sam: You okay, pop?
Ron: Yeah. Mojo, no dominating Frankie! Get the hell off the couch, you filthy beasts! You'll see a lot of that in college, too.
Sam: What are you talking about, Dad?
Ron: There's gonna be a lot of women there.
Sam: Yeah, well, I'm a one-woman kind of guy.
Ron: Look, Mikaela's the greatest, but you gotta give each other room to grow, okay? You're no different than any other couple your age.
Sam: Except we discovered an alien race together.
Ron: Hah! How long you gonna be riding that scooter?
Sam: Dad, listen, I know what the odds are. We're the exception, okay? Wait a second. Oh, who could that be?
Ron: In two weeks, it could be Muffy.
Sam: Heeey, beautiful.
Mikaela: I'm breaking up with you, Sam.
Sam: Really? Sure? I'm not hearing a lot of conviction.
Mikaela: Well, I am, okay? So, there's no reason for me to come say goodbye to you.
Sam: Wow, you almost sounded serious that time. Guess what? I made you a long-distance relationship kit. Yeah, I got you a webcam, so we can chat 24/7. All Witwicky, all the time. And I got you a couple souvenirs from the event that cannot be mentioned on cell phones. Some mixes and candles and stuff.
Mikaela: Sounds cute. I can't wait.
Sam: Hey, you want the infamous D-Day shirt?
Mikaela: You kept your nasty, shredded clothes?
Sam: Yeah. Of course, I kept it, Mikaela. It's like my Super Bowl jersey. I bled in this thing.
Mikaela: Wow. You're pretty confident, huh?
Sam: No, it's not that. It's just that my low self-esteem's at an all-time high.
Mikaela: You think your little box of souvenirs is gonna keep me from leaving you?
Sam: You really should come with me. They got cheap apartments near campus.
Mikaela: Well, that's not gonna happen until I get my manchild father, fresh out of prison, back on his feet.
Mikaela's Dad: I heard that. Where'd you put the clutch covers?
Mikaela: Next to the camshafts.
Sam: Oh, I love it when you say camshafts. Whisper it to me.
Mikaela: [chuckles] Camshafts.
Mikaela: Why can't I hate you?
Sam: It's my Witwicky charm. Wait, hold on. Wait, hold on a second.
Mikaela: I guess we're not breaking up. I'll be over in twenty.
Sam: 'Kaela, I think a sliver of the Cube got stuck on my shirt.
Sam: [surprised yelping] there's a fire! Aah, dad, we got a fire!
Appliancebots: [chittering and growling in Cybertronian]
Sam: [grunts] Fire!
Appliancebots: [shouting in Cybertronian]
Judy: Ron... did you know it was gonna be this hard?
Ron: Can you- can you just stop?
Judy: Yeah, okay, I'll stop. You carry this shit!
Appliancebots: [chitters and converses in Cybertronian] Whoaahh.
Judy: You know what?
Judy: I don't want to go anywhere with you. I don't wanna go to France with you. I don't wanna go around the corner with you.
Ron: All right, fine.
Judy: I'm going back inside.
Ron: I'll call you from Paris.
Appliancebots: [speaks in Cybertronian]
Sam: [shouts in surprise and panic]
Ron: What is all the racket? Sam?
Ron: What was that?
Sam: That's the whole kitchen!
Ron: Oh my...
Bumblebee: [electronic squeals]
Ron: Oh- Nine- Nine-one-one!
Sam: Bumblebee! Get in the garage. Go!
Judy: What the f*ck just happened?
Sam: I'm about to have a nervous breakdown. Just go in the garage quietly, please.
Judy: Holy Mother! Oh, my God!
Bumblebee: [disappointed squeals] Whatever. [More squeals]
Sam: Get in the garage now!
Judy: Firemen! Firefighters-
Ron: ...Dogs out! Get the dogs out!
Judy:This is it! Come on, you guys. What are you waiting for?
Judy: My house is on fire!
Firefighter: Very important.
Mikaela: What happened?
Sam: Come here. Listen, I need you to take the Cube sliver and put it in your purse.
Mikaela: What's going on?
Sam: Just take it.
Judy: Sam Witwicky?
Sam: Yes, Mom.
Judy: A word with you?
Judy: Hi, Mikaela. I have a bald spot-
Mikaela: Hi. Oh.
Ron: An old furnace, I think.
Judy: -from a waffle iron. When you go, he goes. I cannot live with this psychotic alien in my garage!
Ron: Calm, calm- Judy, Judy, national security. Look. If we stay quiet, they're gonna take care of everything. Just consider this the official start of our remodel, 'kay?
Judy: Fine. If the government's paying, I want a pool. And a hot tub!
Ron: Fine. 'Kay.
Judy: And I'm gonna skinny-dip and you can't say shit about it!
Bumblebee: [electronic squeal]
Sam: Yeah, you know you're in trouble.
Mikaela: He still having voice problems?
Sam: He's playing it up. Bee, I want to talk to you about the college thing, okay?
Bumblebee: I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it.
Sam: I'm not taking you with me.
Bumblebee: [electronic groan]
Mikaela: I'm gonna wait outside, okay?
Sam: I meant to tell you about this earlier. It's just that, you know, here's the thing. Freshmen aren't allowed to have cars. I, I know, and if it was up to me, I'd take you with me, but it's not, Bee. Look. You're an Autobot. You shouldn't be living in my dad's garage. I mean, you're suffocating in here. You deserve better than this.
Bumblebee: [electronic groans]
Sam: This is hard enough, man. Don't make it harder. Can you just look at me, please? Come on, big guy... Look, the guardian thing is done, okay? You did your job. Look, I'm safe now. You need to go be with Optimus Prime and the others. I just want to be normal, Bee. That's why I'm going to college and I can't do that with you.
Bumblebee: [mock crying]
Sam: It's not the last time I'm gonna see you, you know, Bee. Come on, don't do that. Bee. You're killing me, Bee. But you'll always be my first car. Love you, Bee.
Bumblebee: [electronic squeal]
Sam: Whoooa! Wow!
Ron: Between State Farm and the taxpayers, we're all taken care of.
Judy: You've got dirt all over you.
Ron: Stop. Stop.
Ron: Stop, I'm okay.
Mikaela: So, you think you can make it through those East Coast winters without me?
Sam: You're the best thing to ever happen to me.
Sam: And I'll do anything for you.
Judy: I think Sam's about to say the L-word.
Ron: Let's go, kiddo!
Judy: Nice timing, Dad.
Sam: I... adore you.
Mikaela: That's not the word that I want to hear right now.
Sam: What are you talking about? It's the same word as the other word.
Mikaela: It's not the same word.
Sam: Look, if I say the other word now and you forced me to say it, it won't mean anything, plus you haven't said it either. So, don't get mad at me for not saying it.
Mikaela: Yeah, but I haven't said it because guys always run when you say it first.
Sam: Yeah, well, so do girls. Especially girls like you, with options.
Mikaela: Sooo, this is all part of your elaborate plan to keep me interested?
Sam: It can be.
Mikaela: I hate that it's working.
Sam: Have a kiss? We're going to make it work, I promise.
Wheelie: Female has sliver from Cube.
Soundwave: Soundwave acknowledges. Pursue her. Retrieve it.
NEST Classified Operations - Diego Garcia
Officer: Autobot Twins, report to Hangar Three.
Skids: Badass ice-cream truck coming through. Excuse me! Excuse me! Hello!
Mudflap: Hold up, hold up-
Skids: Those are nice. Yeah, baby. It's upgrade time.
Mudflap: Yes, sir. Aw yeah! Look here, it's my booty call right here! Time to get my sexy on with the green.
Skids: Green? Eh, no, green is mine! I call green!
Mudflap: Oh, ow!
Skids: I got the green.
Mudflap: That hurt, man.
Skids: It's supposed to hurt. It's an ass-kicking.
Soldier: Present arms!
Lennox: Director Galloway, what an honor. I'd love to show you around, but you gotta be on the classified access list.
Galloway: I am now. Presidential order, Major. I got a message for your classified space buddies! You guys made a mess of Shanghai.
Lennox: All right, so this is where we communicate with the JCS and this area serves as the Autobots' hangar.
Soldier: Secure link to JCS is up, Major!
NEST people: [indistinct chatter of words as Soundwave approaches satellite]
Soldier: Secure line to Pentagon is now open.
Morshower: Will, I saw the Shanghai op.
Epps: We had a rough day out there.
Lennox: Yes, sir. We have intel that I believe warrants an immediate debrief. Now with your permission, I can't let you see him, but I would like you to hear from the leader of the Autobots.
Epps: You got to wonder, if God made us in his image, who made him?
Optimus Prime: General, our alliance has countermanded six Decepticon incursions this year, each on a different continent. They're clearly searching around the world for something. But last night's encounter came with a warning.
Demolishor recording: The Fallen shall rise again.
Morshower: The Fallen. Meaning what?
Optimus Prime: Origin unknown. The only recorded history of our race was contained within the Allspark and lost with its destruction.
Galloway: Excuse me! With this so-called Allspark now destroyed, why hasn't the enemy left the planet like you thought they would?
Lennox: Director Galloway, our National Security Advisor. The President just appointed him liaison. Which, to a [trails off as Morshower speaks]
Morshower: Well, I guess I didn't get that memo.
Galloway: Forgive the interruption, General. Excuse me. Coming through. Excuse me. Excuse me, soldier. Um. After all the damage in Shanghai, the President is, um, hard-pressed to say the job's getting done. Now, under the classified Alien-Autobot Cooperation Act,you agreed to share your intel with us, but not your advancements in weaponry.
Optimus Prime: We've witnessed your human capacity for war. It would absolutely bring more harm than good.
Galloway: But who are you to judge what's best for us?
Lennox: With all due respect, we've been fighting side by side in the field for two years.
Epps: We've shed blood, sweat and precious metal together.
Galloway: Soldier, you're paid to shoot, not talk.
Epps: Don't tempt me.
Galloway: And the, ah, newest members of your team-
Optimus Prime: Easy.
Galloway: I understand they arrived here after you sent a message into space, an open invitation to come to Earth, vetted by no one at the White House.
Morshower: Let me stop you right there, mister Galloway. It was vetted right here. And in my experience, the judgment of both Major Lennox and his team has always been above reproach.
Galloway: Well, be that as it may, General, it is the position of the President that when our national security is at stake... No one is above reproach. Now, what do we know so far? We know that the enemy leader, classified NBE-One-
Galloway: [voice echoes since it's from Soundwave's POV] a.k.a. Megatron, is rusting in peace at the bottom of the Laurentian Abyss, surrounded by SOSUS detection nets and a full-time submarine surveillance. We also know that the only remaining piece of your alien Allspark is locked in an electromagnetic vault here on one of the most secure naval bases in the world.
Soundwave: Decepticons, we have located the shard.
Galloway: And since no one can seem to tell me what the enemy is now after. Well, there's only one clear conclusion! You! The Autobots! They're here to hunt you! What's there to hunt for on Earth besides that? The Fallen shall rise again? It sounds to me like something's coming. So. Let me ask, if we ultimately conclude that our national security is best served by denying you further asylum on our planet, will you leave? Peacefully?
Optimus Prime: Freedom is your right. If you make that request, we will honor it. But... before your President decides, please ask him this: What if we leave... and you're wrong?
Lennox: That's a good question.
Judy: Oh my gosh! Look at this place! I feel smarter already. Oh Ron, can you smell it?
Ron: Yeah, smells like four thousand dollars a year.
Judy: Oh hey, cheapo.
Ron: Hey, go ahead. We'll, uh, we'll get your stuff. Just go ahead and check out your room.
Judy: Yeah, go.
Leo: Hey. You must be Sam, right? I'm Leo.
Leo: So, I already set up the crib a bit. You want this side or that side?
Sam: Um, that side.
Leo: I already chose that side.
Sam: You know what this is? This is the awkward moment. Yeah, see, you're trying to see if I'm a normal guy. I'm trying to see if you're a normal guy. Balanced, unmedicated, nothing under the crawl space.
Leo: Good personal hygiene, won't stab me in my sleep.
Sam: No criminal record, won't steal anything.
Leo: Including girlfriends.
Sam: Especially girlfriends.
Leo: You got a girlfriend?
Sam: I do. You?
Leo: [chuckles] No, not a chance. You a techie?
Leo: Sweet! Sharksky, Fassbinder, where we at?
Sharksky: Server's almost online, Leo.
Fassbinder: Network's up and running.
Leo: Beautiful, that's what I like to hear. That's Sharsky, that's Fassbinder, my IT gurus. Welcome to my empire, bro, The-Real-Effing-Deal-dot-com. That's me, I'm sure you've heard of it.
Sam: No, I haven't.
Fassbinder: Well, that sucks.
Sam: What is all this for?
Leo: See where I'm going, bro. Look, call me gross, but I want to be a baby billionaire. Kitten calendars. That's where I started. Look at me now. Got to have dreams, bro.
Fassbinder: Leo! We got some brand-new Shanghai vid!
Leo: Post it, baby! Go, go, go! FTJ! FTJ!
Fassbinder: Oh, it's cleeean.
Sam: What's FTJ?
Leo: Fuel the jet. Fuel the jet, bro.
Fassbinder: FTJ. FTJ! Legit! Did you see that? Did you see that?
Leo: Look at this. Half of Shanghai gets wrecked and China says gas leak. Don't believe the hype, bro.
Sharksky: Just like the alien robots in LA two years ago that everyone covered up.
Fassbinder: Yeah, I saw these robots, and they did this, like, firing thing and they came down and toasted this woman, and she was like-
Sam: Looks fake to me.
Fassbinder: Dude, it's not fake, the internet is pure truth.
Fassbinder: Video doesn't lie.
Sam: It looks fake.
Fassbinder: No, man, I've seen them. They're, like, these robots-
Sharksky: [indistinct arguing]
Sam: Look, look, look, it's fake. Anybody could do it on any computer, okay? And I wasn't, uh, there, so I can't comment or speculate.
Sharksky: Ah, no.
Leo: Comment or speculate? And we're supposed to co-habitate? No, listen, okay? Don't be sucking the sack, bro!
Sam: Which sack?
Sharksky: The ball sack.
Fassbinder: Dude, what kind of tool are you?
Leo: Mainstream media sack. They're lying to us, all right? It's aliens, man.
Sam: Okay, okay.
Leo: Follow me.
Fassbinder: Leo, bad news! We just got scooped, the video's already up on GFR.
Leo: Damn it, 'Binder! Aah! Robo-Warrior. The guy's our main competition on conspiracy stuff. Effing was my effing idea and he stole it! He's been linking to my site and thieving hits forever. By the way, I read your file. I'm poor, you're poor. We're gonna fix that, all right? You work for me now.
Sam: I- I work for you now? That's incredible. First day of college, I got a- I got a career in a dinky Internet firm with a boss who is made up of just pure champion stuff.
Leo: Are you mocking my life's work, Samuel? Huh? That's your one warning patrolling, dude. Don't make me have Fassbinder hack your financial aid, 'cause I'll do it!
Sam: Hey, R-A. Listen, ahem, it's getting a little intense in my room. Can I switch out?
Admissions Girl: Oh, no, sad face three-twelve. No switching, no trading. Let's turn that frown upside down, okay?
Judy: Oh, here we go.
Ron: We made it. Hi.
Judy: It's just like Hogwarts. Hi!
Ron: Is this co-ed? This is a co-ed dorm.
Sam: You guys want to meet my roommates?
Sam: Some real swell guys. Here's Leo.
Leo: I'm Leo
Judy: We're the Witwickies. I'm Judy.
Leo: Hey, you have a great son, you really do.
Judy: Well, aren't you the sweetest thing?
Sam: Yeah, he's real sweet, ma. What is that in your hand, by the way?
Judy: I got this at the bake sale for the environment that those boys are having. You know, you don't often see white boys with the dreadlocks.
Judy: Yeah, it's a hundred per cent pure Hawaiian green for the environment.
Ron: Judy, How many of these have you eaten?
Sam: Drop it.
Ron: Yeah, they baked it with reefer in it.
Judy: No, it's- Hey!
Sam: Please give me-
Judy: Hey! It's my cheat day. I can eat what I want.
Ron: Give me-
Sam: I'm going to freak out. Please do something right now, Dad. Please do something right now.
Ron: I did, I tried-
Judy: [indistinct talking] I can eat all the freaking brownies I want!
Leo: I'm sorry and you're welcome. Adios mio... Like I said we call it the Hot Freshman 55. Sharksky hacked Campus Housing and stacked the dorm with pretty betties... is... is so nice... Oh my God. That's her. She's coming. She sees me, she sees me. Whoo. She's tied for number one on my to-do list. Do not bird-dog my quarry, you hear me?
Judy: Pretty girls! Hey, you. My son lives in this dorm. You should go make friends with him. He's Sam.
Male Student: Glad she ain't my momma!
Judy: And he recently had his cherry popped!
Female Students: Ooh!
Judy: Ha ha ha! He didn't know I was in the house! I heard it all!
Sam: Hey! Hey! Hey!
Judy: Here he is! He would get in my closet and dress up as Boy Spice! Hey, and his car is a talking robot!
Female Students: [laughing]
Sam: No, like a- like a GPS. OnStar! OnStar.
Judy: Frisbee! Whoooooooo!
Sam: No, Dad! Dad, you just gonna let her run around the school?
Ron: No, I-
Judy: Waaah! Ah! Gimme! Ha ha! Mine, mine, mine!
Male Student: Hey! Crazy!
Male Student: You want it?
Judy: I want it. Woooo!
Ron: Judy, Judy, just... Just put it down.
Female Student: You really got to control your mother.
Sam: I don't know who this woman is.
Judy: Hey, professor, I'd do anything for an A.
Ron: All right, Grace Slick. We got some snacks in the car. Let's go. Did you get the booties? All right.
Judy: [indistinct squealing]
Sam: Yes, Dad, I got the booties!
Judy: I'm upside down!
Soldier: Black Lion X-Ray, this is Black Lion Tango. We have activation of motion sensors on the western perimeter fence.
Microcons: [electronic squeaking]
Reedman: [speaking in Cybertronian]
Soldier: Breach at B-14.
Soldier: Go, go, go, go, go!
Soldier: The shard's gone.
Reedman: [speaks in Cybertronian]
Soldier: Take it down!
Soldier: Which way?
Soldier: Shoot left!
Soldier: Knock it down!
Leo: First frat party's the game changer, boys, we're hunting in the wild now. So, get your game faces on.
Sam: I can't stay long. I have a webcam date with my girlfriend.
Fassbinder: That's so cool.
Leo: No, it's not.
Leo: Woh-ho-ho. While he's making out with his MacBook, I'm gonna be getting my Spitzy freaky freak on. Let's roll.
Sharksky: She's hot.
Fassbinder: Bro, we're hunting!
Mikaela's Dad: See you, darling.
Mikaela: Bye, Dad. O-kay. This is our first live chat date. I've never done it before. I'm kind of nervous.
Alice: Are you okay?
Sam: No. Ah, hm- I was getting a napkin for my drink. Thanks. Cheers.
Alice: It's Sam, right?
Alice: I wanna dance.
Sam: What, like... like dancing? Like a pairing? Like a duo? Like a coupling? 'Cause I'm in a permanently, uh, semi, semi... I'm in a relationship, kind of...
Alice: Oh, relax. I just want to have some fun.
Sam: You wanna have some fun? Yeah, okay. Let's play some checkers. You can sit over there and... oh, oh, my...
Alice: So, how about tonight you pretend I'm your girlfriend and I pretend that you're my boyfriend?
Senior Student: Hey! Who drove the freaking yellow Camaro? Huh? There is a car on the lawn!
Sam: What are you doing?
Bumblebee: Houston, we have a problem.
Sam: What is it?
Senior Student: Freshman!
Senior Student: That your car in our bushes?
Sam: No, there's a- there's a friend of mine, he just went to, ah, to get you a tighter shirt.
Shorter Senior Student: There isn't a tighter shirt! We checked. Now how about I park my foot in your ass?
Sam: What size shoe do you wear?
Shorter Senior Student: Yeah?
Senior Student: Oh, you want? You want-
Sam: Hold on.
Senior Student: You wanna try?
Sam: I'll back it up right now.
Leo: You have- woah-ho, you have a ride? Bro, why are you holding out on us?
Sam: I've only known you 17 hours.
Leo: This is gonna really change our lives. You have no idea.
Alice: I love Camaros.
Sam: Ah, no. I can't do this right now, okay?
Alice: Don't be a wimp.
Sam: Oh god.
Alice: My first car was my dad's ninety-two Z28.
Alice: Fuel-injected. The roar of the engine, it just tickles me.
Sam: We shouldn't, uh, stare... I mean, share stories with each other at all.
Alice: Eh, come on, Sam. Just one ride.
Bumblebee: You cheatinnnn' heart...
Sam: Don't. Don't!
Bumblebee: She's a super freak, super freak, she's super freaky-
Alice: Is your radio broken?
Sam: No, my concentration is.
Alice: We're not cheating. Not yet. Is something... wrong... here? Ah!
Sam: Oh, God! You okay?
Bumblebee: She's mighty, mighty-
Sam: I really don't know what to tell you. This car has a lot of problems. A lot... oh. Oh! Oh, God! It's in my mouth! Oh, are you okay? I got Wetnaps. I got Wetnaps for your face! Hold on! I... I'm so sorry! What're you doing?
Sam: Huh. You won't give me a day, huh? You won't give me one day in college?
Optimus Prime: I'm sorry, Sam, but the last fragment of the Allspark was stolen.
Sam: Like what? Like Decepticons stole it?
Optimus Prime: We placed it under human protection at your government's request. But I'm here for your help, Sam. Because your leaders believe we brought vengeance upon your planet. Perhaps they are right. That is why they must be reminded by another human of the trust we share.
Sam: This isn't my war.
Optimus Prime: Not yet. But I fear it soon will be. Your world must not share the same fate as Cybertron. Whole generations lost.
Sam: I know, and I... I want to help you, I do, but I am not some alien ambassador, you know? I'm a normal kid with normal problems. I am where I'm supposed to be. I'm sorry. I... I really am.
Optimus Prime: Sam, fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of our choosing.
Sam: You're Optimus Prime. You don't need me.
Optimus Prime: We do. More than you know.
North Atlantic - 07:13 Hrs
U.S.S. Topeka, SSN
Soldier: Conn, Sonar. Gained new contact, bearing 214, and possible hostile, confirmed for project Deep Six Drop Point.
Soldier: What do you got?
Soldier: SU pulled five contacts at 5,000 feet, diving fast.
Soldier: Never seen anything dive that deep that fast. Man battle stations.
Soldier: Chief of the watch, man battle stations!
Chief of the watch: Man battle stations!
Soldier: Helm, left full rudder, all ahead two-thirds.
Soldier: Left full rudder, two-thirds.
Soldier: Dive. Go deep.
Pentagon Officer: The nets protecting NBE One are screaming, sir.
Morshower: That is 9,300 fathoms down, and no confirmed DSRVs on site?
Pentagon Officer: None, sir.
Morshower: Then people, we've got a problem!
Doctor: Need parts! Kill the little one!
Scrapper: [screaming in surprise]
Doctor: The shard make Energon!
Soldier: Conn, Sonar. Now hold six contacts, and they're coming up fast!
Soldier: Sound collision alarm.
Soldier: Left hard rudder.
Soldier: Five hundred feet.
Soldier: Angel Six, we got six hostiles coming up.
Soldier: Collision imminent port side.
Soldier: One hundred feet.
Soldier: Brace for impact-
Hatchlings: [purring noise]
Megatron: Starscream, I'm home.
Starscream: Lord Megatron, I was... so relieved to hear of your resurrection.
Megatron: You left me to die on that pathetic insect planet.
Starscream: Only to help spawn our... new army. The Fallen decrees it! After all, in your absence, someone had to take command.
Megatron: So disappointing.
Starscream: Hatchlings! Hatchlings! Careful, fragile!
Megatron: Even in death, there is no command but mine.
Starscream: No, no, no-
Hatchling: [squeaks, death thores]
Megatron: My master, I failed you on Earth. The Allspark is destroyed and without it, our race will perish.
Fallen: Oh, you have much to learn, my disciple. The Cube was merely a vessel. Its power, its knowledge, can never be destroyed. It can only... trans... form.
Megatron: How is that possible?
Fallen: It has been absorbed by the human child. The key to saving our race now lies within his mind.
Megatron: Well then, let me strip the very flesh from his body!
Fallen: And you will, my apprentice, in time. For millennia, I have dreamed of my return to that wretched planet where I, too, was once betrayed by the Primes I called my brothers. Only a Prime can defeat me, and now, only one remains.
Megatron: Optimus! He protects the boy.
Fallen: Then the boy will lead us to him. And revenge will be ours.
Megatron: Yes. [Growl]
Starscream: The boy will not escape us. We have him in our sights. Without more Energon, the hatchlings will keep dying!
Professor Colan: Space. Time. [bite] Gravity.
Female Student: Thank you.
Professor Colan: Finish that for me. We're going on a journey together, you and I, today. All you... eager, nubile, young minds on the very cusp of adulthood. And I shall be your consort, your guide, your... chaperone into the heart of darkness. [laughing] Welcome to Astronomy 101. For what do we know about the stars? Virgo. The virgin. Orion, the great hunter. These are no mere twinkling diamonds for... lovely maidens to wish upon. No, they are dynamos filled with a throbbing, savage and pent-up energy!
Leo: Sam, Sam-
Professor Colan: Behold the work of Albert Einstein, a professor once, like moi. Energy equals mass...
Leo: What you doing? Put your hand down. Put your hand down. Put your hand down.
Professor Colan: Young man, there are no questions until I've reached the climax of my lecture.
Sam: I just finished your book and there's only one problem. Einstein's wrong.
Sam: Energy does equal mass times the velocity of light squared in this dimension, but what about the other seventeen? Nobody talks about the other seventeen. Clear example. Break down the elemental components of Energon, assume a constant decay rate and extrapolate for each of the [mutters in Cybertronian] fourteen galactic convergences it took the Sentinel Prime expedition to receive an [stutters] echo on its signal, you wind up with a formula for inter-dimensional energy increase that mass and light alone can't possibly explain. Come on guys, I can't be the only one in the class who...
Professor Colan: Young man, I will not be punk'd in front of the dean.
Professor Colan: No, this is my universe here. Do you understand? I am the alpha and the omega. Get out of my class!
Sam: Yes, sir.
Professor Colan: Anyone else care to have some sort of mental breakdown?
Mikaela: Hi, Bones! Hi. Hi. Oh you're such a good boy. What a good boy, you are. Hey, Bones. You hungry?
<Radio>: Come on, check that out.
Mikaela: There you go. [Annoyed mutter] Yes, Samuel?
Sam: Hello? Mikaela?
Mikaela: I can't believe you're gonna stand me up on our first web chat date.
Sam: Something just happened to me, okay?
Mikaela: What- you finally hit puberty?
Sam: No, no, no. Stop laughing. This is serious, okay. Remember I was telling you about my great-great-grandfather, Archibald Witwicky? Remember? Watch it, watch it, watch... No! Okay, remember how I was telling you how, okay, can you stop? Watch the foot! Watch your foot! Mikaela, okay, my great-great-grandfather went on this Arctic mission, right? And he saw Megatron. Megatron zapped him and he started seeing these crazy symbols. Okay. Well, now I'm seeing them, too. Excuse me. I just read a nine hundred and three page astronomy book in thirty two point six seconds. I had a meltdown in the middle of my class. I am seeing symbols ever since I...
Mikaela: Since what?
Sam: Ever since I touched the Cube splinter. Do you have it?
Mikaela: Yeah, I have it. It's in the shop safe. It's fine.
Sam: Mik- Mikaela, do not touch it, okay? Don't touch it.
Mikaela: I'm not gonna touch it. Sam, it's fine. It's locked away. No one knows where it is.
Wheelie: I do! Ah-ha. You're hot, but you ain't too bright.
Wheelie: There we go. Yeah, that will work. Ooh damn- son of a bitch! What are you looking at, slobber-puss? Ah- what the? This place is a freaking house of horrors! Ooh... pain... it hurts...
Mikaela: Hold on.
Wheelie: Right to five, then tat-tat-tat-tat-tat- [shrieks] Is that the best you got, huh? Is that the best you can do? Ah!
Mikaela: What are you doing here, you little freak?
Wheelie: Aaa! That's my eye, you crazy bitch!
Mikaela: You gonna talk now?
Wheelie: Ow, ow, ow! I seek knowledge from the Cube. The Fallen demands me!
Mikaela: What knowledge?
Wheelie: You got the shard. I need the shard, gimme the shard, I need the shard, gimme the shard, they're gonna whack me! I'm gonna be dead without that shard!
Wheelie: Easy, warrior goddess, I'm just a little salvage-scrap drone!
Mikaela: And I'm your worst nightmare.
Wheelie: Ow ow ow. Hey, hey, hey!
Sam: What the hell was that?
Mikaela: I'll tell you later, just not on an open phone line, okay? I'm gonna get on a plane right now and I'll be there later this afternoon. Just be careful, Sam.
College Students: [assorted grunts as Sam runs past]
Customs official: And have any strangers given you anything suspicious to carry on today?
Wheelie: Yeah, a live bomb!
Customs official: Good.
Sam: [indistinct crazed mutterings]
Soldier: Major, incoming SOS from Autobots!
Soldier: Multiple Decepticon contacts in motion. Vicinity- Eastern United States, sir!
Morshower: As in how many?
Pentagon officer: Unclear, sir.
Morshower: Well, get clear.
Soldier: The Autobots are on the move, splitting into two teams, sir. They're not answering our calls and they're heading to New York and Philadelphia.
Lennox: All right, full weapons deployment. Wheels up in 20 minutes!
Soldier: All clear!
Soldier: Move it!
Soldier: Let's go!
Announcer: Flight Fifty Seven, welcome to Philadelphia.
Leo: Alicia, mi amor, can I interest you in an 18-inch zookeeper's special? Extra-large, triple cheese, with every known animal as a topping. Basically, I've got like 18 inches of meat. Unless you're vegetarian. All right. It's cool. I am, too.
Alice: Sam home?
Leo: Sam? I think he died, but why don't we check?
Leo: Here we are.
Sam: Hey! You ever have a song stuck in your head? It's like the worst song ever, but you can't help to whistle it or sing it 'cause it, like, repeats itself, repeats itself, repeats itself, repeats itself, repeats itself, repeats itself? Kitten calendar, kitten calendar, kitten calendar, kitten calendar, kitten calendar, kitten calendar...
Leo: Dude, what the eff?
Sam: I know you're freaking out. Don't freak out. Don't freak out. Easy fix. Puzzle code in my head. Now it's on the walls. Everything is good. This is the part that- shh! Shh! Shh! Okay, were you saying?
Leo: Alice, I'm horrified you had to see this. Let's go.
Alice: Get out.
Leo: Wait, wait, wait! Can- can I just sit and watch? I'll- I'll eat my pizza quietly.
Alice: Sam, I knew there was something special about you.
Alice: And I know you know what happens when two people in the know get together. They're genuinely amazing... in bed.
Mikaela: Thank you.
Sam: All right, listen, hold on! Boundaries. Flag on the play. Okay. I'm very ticklish.
Alice: We have needs, Sam. Relax.
Sam: Whoah! Jeez! Uh... what about this economy? It's crazy, isn't it? You are very aggressive.
Alice: Just relax.
Sam: You want some turkey meatloaf?
Alice: Is that your girlfriend?
Sam: Mikaela! Wait!
Sam: I can explain everyth- uk!
Leo: Sam, your bed buddy, Alice- whoa! Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa!
Sam: [little girl shriek]
College Students: [assorted screaming]
Sam: All right, come on.
Mikaela: She's coming!
Sam: She's an alien robot! You gotta move.
Leo: This real?
Sam: Just run!
Leo: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! I can't believe I almost had sex with her in my dream!
Mikaela: I can tell that you really missed me a lot, Sam!
Sam: Look, it's not my fault, okay?
Mikaela: Oh, it's not your fault?
Sam: Listen! Listen, I'm a victim!
Mikaela: You were a victim? Of what?
Mikaela: Of what, a little eighty pound girl?
Sam: Of, of, of molestation. It was like getting humped in the neck by a mountain ox!
Mikaela: You didn't have to put your tongue in her mouth!
Sam: I didn't! Look!
Mikaela: You did!
Sam: Look. You ever had your stomach tongued by a mountain ox with a five-foot tongue? It's not fun for me, okay, Mikaela? And it smelled like... like diesel! Like a diesel-y tinge to it!
Mikaela: You're such a little girl!
Sam: We're gonna have ten seconds of silence right now. I'm not talking to you for ten seconds.
Mikaela: You can't give me the silent treatment! You know what?
Sam: I'm not talking to you for ten seconds. You have three seconds left.
Mikaela: You know what? You can give me the silent treatment all you want, but you can't keep me from talking.
Sam: What were you gonna say?
Mikaela: I hope you had a lot of fun, because this, this is over.
Leo: She violated your orifice with her nasty alien probe? She did it? She went in there? All her little embryo alien babies are gestating and hatching inside of you. They're growing right now, probably! You need to vomit it right now. Yak it! Yak it right now!
Mikaela: Who are you?
Leo: Leonardo Ponce De Leon Spitz. Okay? I'm the key to this. The aliens, they want me 'cause of my site. Whoa! Whoa, guys, right there!
Alice: [growling in Cybertronian]
Sam: Come on! We gotta move!
Male student: It's a bomb!
Female student: It's a boooomb!
Mikaela: You've got to get that box!
Mikaela: This way.
Wheelie: Hey! Let me out, let me out!
Leo: Oh my god, you know how to hotwire a car? So hot.
Sam: Drive, drive, drive! She's right there! She's right there!
Mikaela: Come on, come on, come on.
Sam: Drive, drive, drive! Back up the car!
Sam: No! Whoa! Tongue tongue tongue!
Leo: Oh my god! Oh god!
Alice: [growling and screaming]
Sam: Drive, drive- pull-
Mikaela: Kiss this, bitch!
Sam: Drive, drive, drive, drive, drive.
Leo: Okay, so what else don't I know, all right? Since you guys forgot to mention some minor details.
Sam: That thing you saw back there, that was the little baby- whoa! Whoa!
Leo: Oh my god! Oh my god!
Mikaela: Sam! Sam!
Leo: Hold on!
Sam: Pull me up!
Leo: Hold on!
Mikaela: Sam! Get back in-
Leo: Whoah! I don't want to die! We're gonna die! Oh my god!
Sam, Leo, Mikaela: [lots of screaming]
Leo: Oh Jesus! Oh Jesus!
Starscream: Fah. Let's see..
Megatron: Come here, boy. Mmm... closer. [growl]
Mikaela: Oh god.
Sam: Okay, okay.
Megatron: You remember me, don't you?
Sam: I did what you said, okay? Just don't hurt us.
Megatron: Shut up!
Sam: [painful grunt]
Megatron: Yeah. Yes, yes.
Sam: Wait wait wait! Ahh!
Megatron: It feels good to grab your flesh! I am going to kill you! Slowly, painfully. But first, we have some delicate work to do.
Sam: Ah, wait wait wait wait wait! [Painful grunts]
Megatron: How I could snap your limbs off! Doctor, examine this alien specimen.
Doctor: <I'll scan you for Megatron. Take a look at your face, ah?> I'm the doctor. The odd job. [Cybertronian words] Informa-tion!
Sam: [grunts in pain]
Doctor: Beseeching my shard! Easy or tough way?
Worm Decepticon: [electronic squeal]
Worm Decepticon: [more squeals]
Doctor: [speaks in Cybertronian]. Knowledge. [speaks in Cybertronian] Cybertronian!
Megatron: Oh, there they are.
Sam: That's what I'm seeing in my head.
Megatron: These symbols can lead us to the Energon source.
Doctor: We must have the brain! On the table! Chop chop!
Sam: Brain? What does he mean by- by my brain?
Megatron: Well, you have something on your mind, something I need.
Sam: Hold on. I- I know you're pissed. I know you're pissed. Because I tried to kill you and, and it's completely understandable. Somebody tried to kill me, I'd be upset, too.
Doctor: [mutters in Cybertronian]
Sam: I... think that we have an opportunity here to start anew and... and develop our relationship and see where it leads us, okay? So, you just call Doctor Inspector off and let's just talk for five seconds! Wait, wait, wai-
Leo: Come on! Go, go!
Leo: Go, go, go! Move!
Optimus Prime: Sam!
Leo: Run! Go, go, go, go, go!!
Sam: Here he comes!
Optimus Prime: Hide, Sam! [grunts] Weak!
Optimus Prime: Puny!
Optimus Prime: Waste of- metal! Junkyard- crap!
Starscream: Come here, boy.
Megatron: [roaring and grunting]
Optimus Prime: [grunting]
Optimus, Megatron, Starscream: [assorted battle grunts]
Megatron: There is another source of Energon hidden on this planet. The boy could lead us to it.
Optimus Prime: [slow motion groan]
Optimus Prime: [spits out tooth]
Megatron: Is the future of our race not worth a single human life?
Sam: Up! Get up!
Optimus Prime: You'll never stop at one! I'll take you ALL on!
Megatron: [grunts] Aah- Oof!
Starscream: My arm!
Optimus Prime: [battle roar]
Grindor: No! Not me- [screams]
Optimus Prime: Piece of tin.
Optimus Prime: Sam! Where are you?
Optimus Prime: [painful scream] No!
Megatron: You're so weak!
Optimus Prime: [pained scream]
Fallen: [long growl] The last Prime is dead!
Optimus Prime: Sam, run. Ru...
Ironhide: Autobots, attack!
Ratchet: Bumblebee, get them out of here!
Lennox: This is Lennox...
Megatron: That went well.
Starscream: We've... lost the boy, Master. The Autobots must be shielding their signals.
Megatron: I can't even rely on you-
Starscream: Sorry- no! No!
Megatron: -to swat a simple insect?
Starscream: One insect among seven billion!
Megatron: Shut up.
Starscream: He could be anywhere.
Megatron: Then we will force them to find him for us! It's time for the world to know of our presence. No more disguises. No mercy! The time has come for my master's arrival.
Soundwave: Decepticons, mobilize. It is time.
[assorted voices over Soundwave's hacking]
Judy: Speaking French is so exciting! My god, who is this? Hello? I mean, bon- bonsoir!
Soundwave: ...is the boy?
Judy: What? Who is this?
Soundwave: Where- where- is the boy?
Judy: For Pete's sakes. I'm not impressed with your perverted mouth-breathing.
New York City
Judy: Oh, jeez!
Ron: You are invading my space. I'm gonna have to drop you. Would you get out of here? I didn't come all the way across the ocean to eat a plate of snails.
Judy: I want to try new things.
Ron: Looks like Canadian goose poop.
Judy: It's nasty.
U.S. 2nd Fleet, N. Atlantic Ocean
[Assorted indistinct military speech]
Guy in Paris: [speaks in French, presumably]
People in Paris: [screaming]
Generic Decepticon: [rumbles in Cybertronian]
Luckless Soldier: Aah!
Protoform Decepticons: [speaks in Cybertronian]
Fallen: [growls] Revenge is mine.
People in Paris: [random panicked screams]
Judy: Aah! Aah...
Protoform Decepticon: Yeah!
Pentagon - Washington D.C.
Female Newscaster: ...definitely not a plane-
High Ranking Officer: Look, carriers don't just sink.
Newscaster: -a horrible accident or a terrorist attack or worse- [indistinct speech drowned out by Pentagon guy]
High Ranking Officer: Negative. NORAD confirmed, projectile came from beyond our atmosphere, inbound at thirty thousand knots.
Fallen: Citizens of the human hive, your... leaders have withheld the truth. You are not alone in this universe. We have lived among you. Hidden. But no more. As you've seen, we can destroy your cities at will, unless you turn over this... boy.... If you resist us, we will destroy the world as you know it.
Male Newscaster: What we're hearing from the German government is that the world broadcast was a satellite hacking.
[I]NEST Team - New Jersey[/b]
Male Newscaster: The military has just told us they have assumed Condition Delta, which is the highest level we have been at since Nine-Eleven. President Obama is being flown to a bunker somewhere in the middle of the United States in the face of the worst simultaneous attacks ever around the globe.
Male newscaster: The aircraft carrier USS Roosevelt goes down off the East Coast, all hands lost.
Male Newscaster: Worldwide casualties are in the neighborhood of seven thousand, but that number could climb. It's still too early to tell. What we need to ask now is, "who and why?"
Male Newscaster: The FBI is still trying to locate the boy, Sam Witwicky.
Spokesman: We believe they have information about the attacks. The FBI, CIA and Interpol are all seeking the cooperation of worldwide law enforcement.
Leo: Hey, bro, you need to listen to this, man. You gotta check this out.
Male newscaster: They have a traffic-camera spotting Sam and-
Leo: They have a picture of me, man. We're dead, bro. FBI, CIA, we are wanted fugitives now! I just need you to focus for one minute, man.
Sam: Just stop.
Leo: This thing has blown up to a whole other level, all right? You-
Sam: You know what? Give me this thing. They can track us. Do you see this?
Leo: What? They can track us? Like, satellite track us? Okay, I'm not even with you guys! Technically, I'm like a hostage. This is kidnapping! Enough is...
Mudflap: Yo, Le-yo!
Leo: This thing's gonna give me a heart attack, I swear.
Mudflap: That's 'cause yous a wuss.
Leo: You guys forced me into that car, right, so-
Mudflap: Ooh, I think he's scared.
Skids: Hey, Mudflap, what are we gonna do with this shrimp taco?
Mudflap: Let's pop a cap in his ass, throw him in the trunk and then nobody gonna know nothing, know what I mean?
Skids: Not in my trunk.
Leo: Yo, bumper cars?
Skids: Bumper cars?
Leo: Cut it out. I'm hearing you. Okay? I'm right here and I can hear you! No one's popping any caps in any asses, okay? I've had a hell! Of a day!
Mudflap: [making sticking-out-tongue noises]
Skids: Why don't you get a haircut with your bitch ass?
Mudflap: Go whine to your boyfriend!
Leo: Listen, Sam, I know what I'm gonna do, man. Look, I'm just going to go to the authorities and tell them the truth. Like, I had nothing to do with this. So I'm not an accomplice.
Sam: Hey, hey, you wanted this, right? You wanted the real deal? Well, that's what this is. Wake up! You're in the middle of it! You want to run? Go ahead! No one's stopping you. Stop complaining.
Sideswipe: What is the meaning of this?
Soldiers: [various yelling]
Ironhide: You dare point a gun at me? You want a piece of me? I will tear you apart!
Soldiers: Drop your weapons! Drop your weapons!
Epps: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Drop your weapons!
Lennox: Tell them to lower their weapons!
Military officer: Tell them first.
Lennox: Tell them to lower their weap-
Military officer: Major, there's nothing I can do. Talk to him.
Galloway: Your NEST team is deactivated, Major. You are to cease anti-Decepticon operations and return to Diego Garcia pending further orders.
Lennox: No, we take our orders directly from Chairman Morshower, sir.
Galloway: Well, I'll see your Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and I will raise you a President of the United States. I have operational command now. An alien blood feud has been brought to our shores for which our soldiers are paying the price. The secret is out! This is our war now. And we will win it as we always have, with a coordinated military strategy.
Ratchet: This fool is terribly misinformed.
Lennox: You're gonna need every asset that you've got.
Galloway: What we need is to draw up battle plans while we explore every possible diplomatic solution.
Lennox: Like what, handing over the kid?
Galloway: All options are being considered.
Graham: Whatever the Decepticons are after, this is just the start.
Lennox: There is no negotiating with them.
Galloway: I'm ordering you to stand down. You won't be needing this anymore. Get your assets back to base! And take that pile of scrap metal back to Diego Garcia. Let's go!
Epps: I really don't like that dude. He's a asshole.
Officer: Autobots, report to hangar for transport.
Ratchet: Ironhide, we should leave this planet.
Ironhide: That's not what Optimus would want.
Mikaela: There's nothing that you could have done.
Sam: You okay?
Sam: Bee, if you hate me, I understand.
Bumblebee: [electronic squeal]
Sam: I messed up. I'm sorry.
Bumblebee: Young fella, you are the person I care about most in my life. If there's anything you need, I won't be far away.
Sam: He's dead because of me. He came here to protect me and he's dead.
Bumblebee: There's some things you just can't change. So, his sacrifice for us would not have been in vain. Hallelujah!
Sam: I'm gonna make it right. I'm going to turn myself in.
Bumblebee: We- we've got to stick together.
Mikaela: You're not going to do that.
Sam: Yes, I am.
Bumblebee: Everything we worked for will be wiped out. In one day!
Sam: You two.
Sam: Hey, you know the glyphs?
Sam: These? The symbols that have been rattling around in my head?
Skids: Whoo, that's, that's old school, yo. That's, that's like... that's Cybertronian.
Mudflap: Oh, that's some serious stuff, right there.
Sam: They gotta mean something, like a message or like a map. Like a map to an Energon source! Can you read this?
Skids: Read? Uh-
Sam: You see that? You see that?
Mudflap: We... No. We don't really do much reading. Not so much.
Sam: If you can't read it, we gotta find somebody who can.
Skids: Look who came sashaying back.
Mudflap: Hair growing like a Chia Pet. Look at him. Look at that.
Leo: I had a bit of a mild panic attack earlier, right?
Mudflap: That's 'cause you're a pussy.
Skids and Mudflap: [chuckling]
Leo: I think I'm allowed that, considering what I've been through. I heard you have a problem. I think I know someone who can help.
Leo: This guy, Robo-Warrior? Everything about anything alien, he's supposed to know. One time we revenge-hacked his site and maybe, I saw some of your... uh... alien drawings or whatever.
Leo: This is it. Yep. Deli. Good front! All right, wait here. I'll give you the go no-go. All right?
Simmons: Number forty-two, we got your kishka, knish, kasha-varnishka and kreplach combo right here. Cash only. Who's next?
Tova Simmons: I told you to cure the lox in the brine and then smoke it.
Simmons: Ma, you want me to cut my hand off, or what?
Tova Simmons: You, you, you ruined a beautiful piece of fish, you retard.
Simmons: I'm like a ninja with a blade. It's an art form.
Tova Simmons: Give me your money. Get out of here!
Simmons: Hey, Sal! Watch your reach, huh? Take a number, young man.
Leo: Robo-Warrior. Know him?
Simmons: I never heard of him.
Leo: You never heard of TheRealEffingDeal-dot-com?
Simmons: You must be talking about that amateur-hour blog operation with Game Boy level security.
Leo: Robo-Warrior. It's him! It's him! That's the guy right there! That's him!
Sam: You've got to be kidding me.
Simmons: All right, meat store's closed! Everybody out!
Tova Simmons?: When he says to go, you go.
Simmons: Out! Right now. That means you, lady, right now.
Simmons' customers: [indistinct arguing]
Leo: Wait a minute. You know this guy?
Sam: We're old friends.
Simmons: Old friends? You're the case that shut down Sector Seven, got the kibosh disbanded. No more security clearance, no retirement, no nothing. All 'cause of you and your little criminal girlfriend. Look at her now, so mature.
Tova Simmons: Moron! Where's the whitefish?
Yakov: Hey! Don't touch me with the pig.
Simmons: You don't get Christmas bonuses standing around! You want those new teeth you saw on Sky Mall?
Yakov: It's my dream.
Simmons: Help her out.
Mikaela: You live with your mama?
Simmons: No, my mama lives with me. It's a big difference. They've got your face all over the news, alien boy.
Sam: Yeah, I know.
Simmons: And N.B.E.-one. Still kicking, huh? How did that happen? Don't answer. I don't know what you're hiding, but I don't want anything to do with it. So, good-bye. You never saw me. I got bagels to smear. Vanish.
Sam: Can you give me five seconds? Look, hold on, I need your help.
Simmons: Reaaaally? You need my help?
Sam: I need... Look, I am slowly losing my mind. Okay. I had a little crab-bot plunge a device deep into the soft tissues of my brain and started projecting little alien symbols like a freaking home movie! And on top of that, I'm a wanted fugitive. So, you think you got it rough?
Simmons: You said it projected images off your brain?
Simmons: Meat locker, now!
Sam: Dead pigs.
Simmons: What you're about to see is top secret... Do not tell my mother.
Sam: Swine flu. Not good.
Simmons: Now you know. Next time you eat a goat or a pig, there's a story behind it. Saaad little story.
Male newscaster: An entire city flat. How do you explain that? Are you saying you believe in aliens now?
Simmons: Okay, files, files. We're talking about symbols. Ey! still radioactive. Hands off. Okay, Cube-brain. Any of these look like the symbols you saw?
Sam: Where did you get these?
Simmons: Before I got fired, I poached S-7's crown jewel, over seventy five years of alien research, which points to one inescapable fact. The Transformers, they've been here a long, long time. How do I know? Archaeologists found these unexplained markings in ancient ruins all over the world. China. Egypt. Greece. Shot in 1932. These the symbols you're seeing in your head?
Simmons: Same ones over here, right? So, tell me, how did they end up all drawing the same things? Aliens. And I think some of them stayed. Check this out. Project: Black Knife. Robots. In disguise. Hiding here all along. We detected radioactive signatures all across the country. I pleaded. On my knees with S-7 to investigate it, but they said the readings were infinitesimal, that I... was... obsessed! Me. Can you imagine that?
Sam: Megatron said that there was another Energon source here.
Simmons: On Earth.
Sam: On Earth.
Simmons: Another source?
Sam: Okay? And that these symbols, the maps in my head, would lead him there.
Simmons: You talked to your Autobot friends about this?
Sam: No, no, no, the source is before them. Whatever the Energon source is, it predates them. It's before them.
Simmons: So it comes before them.
Simmons: Well, then we're porked, unless we can talk to a Decepticon. I mean, I'm not on speaking [chuckle] terms with them.
Mikaela: Actually, I am.
Wheelie: Let me out!
Mikaela: This is going to be a little bit sad.
Sam: Open it.
Wheelie: [faux-scary roar]
Wheelie: I will have so many Decepticons on your butt!
Mikaela: Hey, behave!
Sam: What is it, a Decepticon?
Sam: And you're training him?
Mikaela: I'm trying to.
Simmons: I spent my whole adult life combing the planet for aliens...
Wheelie: [grunts] Got to get me off this leash. [bites]
Simmons: ...and you're carrying around one in your purse like a little chihuahua.
Wheelie: Huh? Do you want a throwdown, you pubic 'fro-head?
Mikaela: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry about your eye, you know, but, if you're a good boy-
Wheelie: Uh-huh? Uh-huh?
Mikaela: -then I'm not gonna torch your other eye. Okay? I'm not gonna torch it. Just tell me what these symbols are. Please.
Wheelie: All right. Uh. Oh, I know that. That's the language of the Primes. I don't read it, but these guys... where the frick did you find photos of these guys?
Sam: Is this they?
Wheelie: Yeah. Seekers, pal. Oldest of the old. They've been here thousands of years, looking for something. I don't know what. Nobody tells me nothing, but they'll translate those symbols for you. And I know where to find them.
Simmons: Show us.
Wheelie: Yeah. [growl]
Simmons: Closest one's in Washington.
Simmons: Smithsonian Air and Space Museum. Land of dreams in there. All I ever wanted to be was an astronaut. Hold those.
Sam: What is that?
Simmons: What? I wear them when I'm in a funk. So does Giambi, Jeter. It's a baseball thing. Okay. Watches synchronized, sharp mind and empty bladder. You get caught, demand an attorney and don't ever say my name. Okay, take one of these pills. Slip it under your tongue. It's the high-concentrate polymer they put in Oreo cookies. Tricks the polygraph every time. Okay. Now, let's get this show on the road.
Leo: Whoa, whoa, no, listen, I can't do this.
Leo: I'm not some alien bounty hunter, guys. I'm not gonna do this. Guards have guns. I don't want to die.
Simmons: Kid. Kid. Kid. Kid, kid, kid. You compromise this mission, you are dead to me. Now look into my eyes and tighten up that sphincter.
Announcer: The museum is now closing.
Leo: [whistles] Yo, baba! Bad news, bro! Ran out of toilet paper! You got any out here? Please tell me you do.
Security guard: Sir! I suggest you get in there. The museum is closed!
Leo: Listen, man, I understand that, but as you can see, this is important. All right? Thumper dumper. I got to go. All right.
Security guard: Sir, you are a grown, naked man around children. Pull your pants up and exit the building.
Leo: I'm not going anywhere.
Security guard: [grunts]
Security guard: You got that paper, right, sir? You should be embarrassed. This is a family museum, sir.
Leo: Come on...
Security guard: [grunts as he is tasered]
Leo: [screaming and grunting]
Simmons: What is going on here?
Leo: How many times- can you get tased in the nuts before you can't- have- kids-? Huh? You know?
Simmons: You are an amateur, man. A rank amateur. We just downed five guards. Five guards. Get your stuff and get out of here. Get out of-
Sam: Give me a second here.
Simmons: I got to get the tracker, all right.
Mikaela: Be good.
Wheelie: [gasps] I'm claustrophobic.
Mikaela: Look, look. Follow him. Follow him. He knows where he's going... He knows something.
Mikaela: He knows something!
Simmons: You got what I got?
Wheelie: Ooh, there he is. This guy's a legend, like, like, like the Chairman of the Board! Yo, freshman, point the shard and watch the magic happen.
Mikaela: Oh shit. It's a Decepticon!
Simmons: Behind the MiG now!
Jetfire: [grunting] Ah. What sort of hideous mausoleum is this? Answer me, pawns and knaves! Show yourselves or suffer my infinite wrath! You little spinal-cord-based organisms! Oof. Oh, bugger it. Behold the eternal glory of... Jetfire! Prepare for remote systems override!
Wheelie: I tell you, this guy did not age well.
Mikaela: I don't think he's gonna hurt us.
Jetfire: I command these doors to open! Fire! I said, fire!
Sam and Simmons: Whoa whoa whoa!
Jetfire: Oh, bollocks! Damn these worthless parts.
Sam: Wait a second!
Jetfire: ltchy, wretched rust in my arse! Ah!
Simmons: Oh, the museum is going to be very angry. Very angry. We gotta catch that plane.
Jetfire: Right. I'm on a mission.
Sam, Simmons, etc: Wait, wait, wait, wait! [assorted shouting]
Jetfire: What do you want?
Sam: Look, we just want to talk!
Jetfire: I have no time to talk. I'm on a mission. I'm a mercenary doom-bringer. What planet am I on?
Jetfire: Earth? Terrible name for a planet. Might as well call it dirt. Planet dirt. Tell me, is that robot civil war still going on? Who's winning?
Sam: The Decepticons.
Jetfire: [Spits] Well, I change sides to the Autobots.
Sam: What do you mean, change sides?
Jetfire: It's a choice. It's an intensely personal decision. So much negativity. Who wants to live a life filled with hate?
Wheelie: You mean you don't have to work for those miserable freaking Decepticons?
Jetfire: If Decepticons had their way, they'd destroy the whole universe.
Wheelie: I'm changing sides. I'm changing sides, too, warrior goddess. Who's your little Autobot?
Mikaela: Aw, you're cute.
Wheelie: Name's Wheelie. Yeah. Yeah. Say my name, say my name. [panting]
Sam: What are you allowing to happen to your foot just now?
Mikaela: At least he's faithful, Sam.
Sam: Yeah, well, he's faithful and he's nude and he's perverted.
Wheelie: [panting and grunting]
Sam: Can you just... can you stop?
Wheelie: Ey, what are you doing?
Sam: It's just something to think about. I won't argue with... what were you saying?
Jetfire: I told you my name was Jetfire! So stop judging me!
Sam, Simmons, Leo, Mikaela: [assorted 'whoa' and 'wait']
Wheelie: Somebody shit the bed this morning.
Simmons: [mumbles something]
Jetfire: I have issues of my own, and it started with my mother! My ancestors have been here for centuries. My father, why, he was the wheel! The first wheel. Do you know what he transformed into?
Jetfire: Nothing! But he did so with honor! Dignity, damn it!
Sam, Simmons, Leo: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Jetfire: [grunting] Oh, bollocks. My boosters are fried. Aww.
Sam: I think we can help each other. You know things I don't know. I know things you don't know, I do.
Leo: I don't think he knows anything. Honestly, I don't.
Sam: I could do this all day. It comes in waves, these vivid symbols. They're symbols, but they're in my mind. You see, all this is in my mind and Megatron wants what's in my mind. Him and someone called the Fallen.
Jetfire: The Fallen? I know him. He left me here to rust. The original Decepticon. He's terrible to work for. It's always apocalypse, chaos, crisis. These transcriptions, they were part of my mission, the Fallen's search. I remember now, for the Dagger's Tip, and- and the key.
Sam: Yeah, wait, slow down. The Dagger's Tip? The key? What are you talking about?
Jetfire: No time to explain.
Simmons: Wait, wait-
Jetfire: Hold on, everybody! Stay still or you'll die!
Mudflap: Oof! Oof. Motherf-
Bumblebee: [electronic squeal]
Sam: [painful grunting]
Jetfire: Unh... ah. Well, that wasn't so bad.
Wheelie: Whoaaa! Ow! Ah!
Jetfire: At least we're still on the right planet.
Wheelie: Hey, that freaking hurt!
Simmons: Oh my God. [Gasping] Where are we?
Leo: God. Oh my God, what a beautiful face. This would be a perfect moment, except you landed on my testicles. Please, get off. [painful groaning] Ah, my balls.
Sam: Where are we? Simmons!
Simmons: Hey! Yeah!
Leo: Oh my God. Oh my God. What is this? It's Vegas.
Sam: You guys okay?
Leo: Hey, I think we're in Vegas!
Simmons: That really, really hurt. You're just lucky that I didn't get hurt. People could have gotten killed, okay? And if I would have gotten hurt, you would have heard from my at-
Jetfire: Oh, shut up. I told you I was opening a space bridge. It's the fastest way to travel to Egypt.
Sam: When did you... when did you tell us? You didn't tell us anything. You didn't tell us anything. Why are we in Egypt?
Jetfire: Don't you get snippy with me, fleshling! You were duly informed!
Sam: Can you just stop for a second? Can you focus? Can you tell us why we're in Egypt so we can all have a little bit of semblance of peace of mind?
Jetfire: This planet was visited by our race once before, by our earliest ancestors, a millennium ago. They were on an exploratory mission to harvest Energon, the lifeblood of our race. Without it, we'll all perish, oxidize and rust, like my wretched self! Do you have any idea what it's like to slowly fall apart and die?
Simmons: Let's not get episodic, okay? Old-timer? Beginning. Middle. End. Facts. Details. Condense. Plot. Tell it.
Jetfire: Somewhere buried in this desert, our ancestors built a great machine. It harvests Energon... by destroying suns.
Sam: Destroy suns?
Leo: You mean blow them up?
Jetfire: Yes. You see, in the beginning, there were seven Primes, our original leaders. And they set out into the universe, seeking distant suns to harvest. The Primes set out with one rule. Never destroy a planet with life. Until one of them tried to defy this rule. And his name forevermore was... the Fallen.
Jetfire: He despised the human race and he wanted to kill you all by turning on that machine. The only way to activate it is with a legendary key called the Matrix of Leadership.
Holographic Fallen: [growl]
Holographic Troops: [grunting and shouting]
Holographic Fallen: [growl, then scream]
Jetfire: A great battle took place over possession of the Matrix. The Fallen was stronger than his brothers, so they had no choice but to steal... and hide it from him. In the ultimate sacrifice, they gave their lives to seal the Matrix away in a tomb made of their very own bodies, a tomb we cannot find. Somewhere, buried in this desert, that- deadly machine remains. The Fallen knows where it is and if he finds the tomb of the Primes, your world will be no more.
Mikaela: Okay, so how do we stop him?
Jetfire: Only a Prime can defeat the Fallen.
Sam: Optimus Prime?
Jetfire: So, you've met a Prime? Why, you must have met a great descendant. Is he alive, here on this planet?
Sam: He sacrificed himself to save me.
Jetfire: So, he's dead. Without a Prime, it's impossible. No one else could stop the Fallen.
Sam: So, the same energy that's gonna be used to reactivate the machine... could that energy somehow be used to reactivate Optimus and bring him back to life?
Jetfire: It was never designed for that purpose, but it's an energy like no other.
Sam: So then how do you get us to the Matrix before the Decepticons get to me?
Jetfire: Follow your mind, your map, your symbols. What you carved in the sand, it's your clue. When dawn alights the Dagger's Tip, three kings will reveal the doorway! Find the doorway! Go now! Go!
Simmons: Okay, we'll all go.
Jetfire: That was my mission. It's your mission now. Go before the Decepticons find me and find you.
Simmons: Okay, here's what my CIA contact says. Ancient Sumerians used to call the Gulf of Aqaba the "Dagger's Tip."
Sam: That's the Dagger's Tip.
Simmons: It's part of the Red Sea. Divides Egypt and Jordan like the tip of a blade. 29.5 degrees north, 35 east. Here it is.
Sam: First thing we've got to do is get Optimus to the Dagger's Tip.
Leo: How are you gonna get him halfway around the world?
Sam: I'm gonna make a call.
Sam: We got cops... Whoa!
Simmons: I know, I know...
Leo: I can't go to prison, guys.
Simmons: Sam, we got to get off this road and lay low.
Mudflap: Man, stupid cops! Ah-ha-ha!
Skids: This is what's called blending in like a ninja.
Mudflap: Shut up or I'll blend my fist in your face.
Mikaela: They're gone.
Sam: Okay, we're running out of time. I gotta make the call to Lennox-
Simmons: You're on the Worldwide Wanted List. Try calling one base, they'll track you here in seconds. CIA is all over this place!
Sam: You're gonna call.
Simmons: Oh. Okay. That's a good idea.
Sam: All right.
Simmons: I mean, I just had my mind on other things-
Sam: [mumbles something]
Simmons: -like winding up in an Egyptian prison.
Soldier: NEST departure, 2100 hours.
Lennox: So, we're shipping him back to base. This is such a mistake.
Soldier: Major Lennox, phone call.
Simmons: Lennox, I'm with the kid. The kid. You know, the one with the attitude, right? We need the truck. The truck. We got a possible resurrection going on over here. You're not gonna believe where we are.
Code Tut, as in King Tutankhamen. Back of a one dollar bill. Coordinates for airdrop, 29.5 north, 34.88 east. Write it down. Write it.
Egyptian Kids: [laughing]
Simmons: Oh my God. I got to go. Okay. Heat comes.
Sam: Whoa, wait, who are you?
Simmons: Oh Shi-
Leo: Wait! It's me! Leo! Me! Leo! Leo! Leo! Cops are coming right now. We need to go!
Sam: Move, move, move, move. Let's go.
Soldier: Coordinates, 29.5 north, 34.88 east. Tip of the Red Sea. Gulf of Aqaba.
Epps: Egypt? Are you serious?
Epps: Even if we could figure out a way to get big man over there, how is this little kid supposed to bring him back to life?
Lennox: Look. I don't know- but we got to trust him.
Sam: Okay, let's go over it again.
Sam and Simmons: When the dawn alights-
Sam: -the Dagger's Tip,
Simmons: the Three Kings-
Sam: -will reveal the doorway.
Simmons: That's what he said. You know what that means?
Sam: No, what does it mean?
Simmons: I have no idea.
Leo: Oh my God. Oh my God. Checkpoint. Checkpoint. I don't have my passport.
Customs officer: Pass-port! [Says something in Egyptian?]
Sam: They got cameras at the top.
Agents: [speaks in Egyptian]
Simmons: All right, chill. This is espionage now. I can handle it. These are my people.
Simmons: I'm one-thirty-sixth Arab.
Wheelie: Oh great, a frickin' munchkin. Little people are mean. Tell him he's tall.
Customs officer: [speaks in Egyptian]
Simmons: Ashu-fanah... The Dagger's... Tip? Right? Egypt, Jordan. We want to go there. Me and my family. This is my family. This is my son, my other son, my daughter. We're tourists, from New York.
Customs officer: New York?
Simmons: Yes. Yes.
Customs officer: Fifty kilometers.
Simmons: You look like the guy that runs my falafel stand. Thank you very much.
Customs officer: New York!
Simmons: I know. I know you from somewhere.
Customs officer: Go Yankees!
Agent: Go, put it on the wire to the CIA.
Agent: [speaks in foreign language]
Random voices: [indistinct talking]
Soundwave: Decepticons. Boy's location detected.
Starscream: Starscream in pursuit.
Skids: Ssh. Undercover, yo. You got to blend in with your surroundings. You know, you got to be part of the landscape- ow!
Simmons: Awesome! I think aliens built that. Yeah! Yeah, yeah. Come on. Move it! Move it! Move out!
Sam: Guard us. Low profile. Don't make a scene, okay?
Wheelie: Yeah, some of us got work to do! Dumb Autobots.
NEST Team E.T.A. - 6 Hrs
Sam: Being my girlfriend is hazardous to your health.
Mikaela: Yeah, well, girls like dangerous boys.
Sam: Do they?
Mikaela: Yeah. [Kiss, chuckle] You might as well just say it.
Sam: Ladies first.
Mikaela: Okay, so tonight you're going to be a gentleman. You're really chivalrous.
Sam: Why are you mad at me?
Mikaela: You know what? Baby, I'm not- I'm not mad. Do you realize that I just flew three thousand miles to keep you from getting killed?
Sam: I know.
Mikaela: Who else could be your girlfriend, Sam? Look at the things I go through with you. And now we're underneath the moon and the stars and the three most beautiful pyramids on the planet and you still can't even tell me that you love me.
Sam: Mm... Pyramids.
Mikaela: What? Why do boys always change the subject?
Sam: Wait. Pyramids and stars.
Sam: Come with me really quick.
Simmons and Leo: [snoring]
Sam: Simmons! Leo! Wake up!
Sam: Listen, astronomy class, page 47. Remember the class?
Leo: No. No, I was only in college for two days. Remember that?
Sam: Here. Get up. Up, up.
Leo: What are you talking about?
Sam: Okay, you see those three stars? You see how the last one touches the horizon? That's Orion's belt, but it's also called the Three Kings. And the reason for that is the three Egyptian kings who built the pyramids of Giza built them to mirror those stars, so it's like an arrow staring us straight in the face.
Simmons: They all point due east, towards Jordan. The mountains of Petra.
NEST Pilot: We've had an engine malfunction. We're gonna have to divert to SOCCENT. Flight master, let's lighten the load and prepare for bailout.
Galloway: Engine mal- Bailout? Bailout? Bailout? Bailout?
Lennox: All right, team, grab your chutes!
Galloway: Bailout, like, like bailout?
Lennox: You familiar with the standard MC-4?
Galloway: Of course not! I've never jumped out of a perfectly good airplane before! Wait a minute, is this really happening?
Lennox: Yeah. All right, here we go.
Galloway: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You're behind this, aren't you?
Lennox: What are you talking about? You heard the pilot. These guys don't mess around. This is just standard procedure. I'm just following orders to the letter.
Lennox: Isn't that what you said?
Galloway: You just signed a death warrant on your career, Major... Whoa! What was that? What was that?
Lennox: Oh, that's not good. Come on. Right this way!
Galloway: I- I- I can't jump out of an airplane! I have an ulcer! No, no, no-
Lennox: Come on. It's okay.
Galloway: I really can't do this. What are you doing- [muffled out by engine roaring]
Lennox: Come here! Come here.
Galloway: Why aren't you wearing your chute?
Lennox: Because I have to secure the VIPs first! Okay, I want you to listen very carefully and memorize everything that I say.
Galloway: [muffled sounds of agreement]
Lennox: Each chute has a GPS tracker so you can be found by search and rescue. Right next to that's a fabric webbing called a bridle, which holds the pin that keeps the main container closed. Okay, are you listening?
Galloway: I- I can't hear what...
Lennox: Stop that!
Galloway: All right. All right.
Lennox: All right, when the pilot chute inflates into the air, it pulls the pin and opens the main. Red's your backup, blue's your primary. I want you to pull the blue. I need you to pull it really hard! Not- not now, we're on the plane, you dumbass!
Galloway: What? Aaaaaaaaa-
Epps: He say goodbye?
Lennox: No, he didn't even say goodbye.
Officer: General, we're loaded and ready. You give us the go, and we'll be ready to press in five minutes.
Pentagon officer: Sir, you need to see this now.
Morshower: Have we checked these coordinates?
Pentagon officer: Egypt, sir. They're airdropping in.
Morshower: You've got to be kidding me. He knows something. We need to be ready to back him up if this thing goes hot.
Pentagon officer: Copy that. CIA just got a hit on the boy, a hundred miles from the location on that little note there.
Morshower: It's getting hotter.
Simmons: Got to be around here somewhere. I-
Simmons: You see the size of this? You see this? Huh?
Simmons: Amazing. Look at that.
Sam: It's here somewhere, guys.
Leo: Yeah, why? 'Cause, uh, we're trusting grandpa blackbird who doesn't even know what planet he's on?
Simmons: In his defense, this is the biggest doorway I've ever seen in my entire life.
Leo: Oh. Okay. Well, that's great. Let me do a quick search, all right? Uh... Nope. Ever cross your mind, guys, that archaeologists have been here before? There's nothing here.
Simmons: Real life is heartbreak, despair, kid. Sometimes you get to the end of the rainbow and the leprechauns went and booby-trapped it!
Leo: Why am I listening to you? You live with your mother!
Sam: It's not over.
Leo: It is over. It's done.
Mudflap: Why are we still listening to you, little punk-ass? I mean, what you ever done for us except ding my rim?
Skids: Killed Megatron. How about that?
Mudflap: Well, he didn't get the job done, you know what I mean, 'cause he's back now, and he's-
Skids: Are you scared?
Mudflap: Scared? Scared of your ugly face!
Leo, Simmons, Sam: [yelling]
Skids: [grunting] I'm ugly? Well, we're twins, you stupid genius!
Mudflap: Bring it, then- get off me! Now I'll change your face around!
Mudflap: I'll get all up in that ass!
Skids: Bring it!
Sam: Guys! Whoa! Oy!
Mudflap: You like the way that feels?
Skids: That didn't hurt.
Mudflap: You like that, don't you? I'm getting up-
Skids: Oh, come on, Bumblebee!
Mudflap: Bumblebee, listen.
Bumblebee: [Electronic squealing]
Skids: Now, that's rude.
Sam: Oh my God. The symbols.... Bee! Shoot it. Check this out. Look at it.
Sam: These are the bodies Jetfire was talking about.
Simmons: The tomb of the Primes.
Leo: Yo! [Echoes] Yo! [Echoes]
Sam: [gasp] The Matrix!
Sam: No- No. No.... no.
Simmons: Thousands of years, turned to dust.
Sam: This isn't how it's supposed to end.
Simmons: Hear that? US Air Force! C-17's!
Leo: What's a C-17?
Mikaela: You can't bring him back, Sam. There's nothing left.
Sam: Look! Look around you. We didn't just go through everything we went through for no reason at all, and to just have it end like this. There is a reason that we are here. The voices and the symbols in my head led us here for a purpose. Everyone's after me because of what I know, and what I know is that this is going to work.
Mikaela: How do you know it's gonna work?
Sam: Because I believe it.
Ironhide: You best let me out of this plane.
Simmons: Dropping the big boy. Sam! You think you can bring him back to life with that pixie dust?
Sam: Absolutely. Let's go.
Locals: [speaks in foreign language]
Soldier: Let's move it.
Lennox: Remember, they're friendlies. [Speaks a phrase in foreign language]
Graham: Cover Optimus!
Lennox: Secure the village. Get those cases down here. I need snipers and Stingers up high.
Soldier: Sir! Come on!
Epps: So, we just dropped off ten tons of dead robot in the middle of nowhere. I hope this little kid know what he's doing.
Lennox: Yeah, me too.
Bald Soldier: Got a visual! Yellow team! Four clicks!
Lennox: Pop flare!
Sam: That's them, right there. See the flare?
Simmons: Right over there! You see it?
Starscream: Found the boy.
Sam: Oh! Whoa!
Leo: Oh God. Please God! Please.
Mikaela: Leo, stop freaking out. Stop freaking out.
Leo: Please God please-
Simmons: Shut this guy up, huh?
Leo: Please, just let me live, just let me live!
Mikaela: Shut up and let him drive!
Sam: Just stop screaming-
Simmons: All right, that's it!
Leo: -please... ow ow ow ow!
Simmons: Can't- take that guy anymore.
Simmons: Hide in the dust! Use the dust!
Sam: We've got to split up. Bumblebee, you're the decoy. You lead the Decepticons away, all right? I'm gonna get Optimus.
Leo: I'll help draw their fire with Huey and Dewey there. You get to those soldiers. I hope that dust works, kid.
Sam: Thank you.
Leo: He's turning around. He's coming back, he's coming back.
Simmons: It's up to me. One man, alone, betrayed by the country he loves. Now its last hope in their final hour of need. Prepare to be driven like never before, by the maestro.
Leo: Hey, hey, hey! Don't go nowhere! Drive.
Simmons: You'll never make it, kid.
Leo: I'm coming with you.
Simmons: Bravery will only get you so far.
Leo: You tased me, okay? You owe me! I'm going.
Simmons: Okay, okay. That was a test. You passed. All right?
Epps: That thing's got alien tattoos all over it. That ain't Air Force.
Starscream: [electronic noise]
Lennox: What the hell was that?
Epps: Anyone copy?
Lennox: Anyone there? Who's up?
Soldier: Radio's down.
Lennox: It's dead. Comms are down.
Epps: EMP burst. I see how this day is going in this godforsaken desert.
Morshower: Yes, sir?
Galloway: Major Lennox told me to pull the cord.
Morshower: I know, sir.
Galloway: Well, what country am I in right now?
Villager: United States.
Galloway: No! Not the United States. I'm from the United States!
Galloway: I'm in the middle of nowhere surrounded by donkeys!
Morshower: Well, that was our good friend, Galloway. He's less than pleased. How is it that we can't reach our men, but he can reach me, from some... random Egyptian desert?
Lennox: Right, go burn an SOS. Let the eye in the sky know we need some help.
Soldier: Yes, sir. Okay, boys, old school time!
Lennox: Pop some more flares so the kid can find us.
Sam: Look. There it is. We got a couple of miles.
Morshower: Lennox's team has the latest in quantum crypto gear. Can somebody tell me why we can't establish simple radio contact?
Pentagon officer: We're hailing them on every frequency and mode in the book, sir.
Pentagon officer: Our satellites in the area have gone blind. We're working it, sir.
Morshower: Damn it. Something's not right. It doesn't add up. Contact the Jordanians, see what air assets they've got in the area, and get Egypt's General Salam. Ask him to clear some USV overflights in Egyptian airspace. We need an assist in confirming visuals now.
Officer: Scramble Predators now.
Predator Controller: V-1, rotate.
Sam: [panting] We still have a mile that way. [panting] Come on... This way. This way.
Simmons: One man, alone-
Leo: Stop saying that!
Simmons: -betrayed by the country he loves!
Leo: Oh, my goodness. I'm in the car, okay? You're not alone.
Simmons: Just relax. You're with the maestro.
Leo: Uh... I don't think he's still following us.
Simmons: That's what you think.
Starscream: Master, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but the soldiers brought the body of Prime.
Megatron: [growl] The boy must have the Matrix. We cannot let him reach Optimus. Decepticons! Begin our assault!
Soldier: We've got incoming!
Soldier: Look out!
Sam and Mikaela: [panting]
Lennox: We got a whole lot of fight coming our way!
Epps: How many?
Lennox: About thirteen of them.
Epps: This ain't good. This ain't good.
Decepticon Protoforms: [speaks in Cybertronian]
Epps: We're about to get our asses whupped.
Lennox: Bravo-Charlie, kneel!
Soldier: Let's go!
Lennox: All right, those Decepticons are searching for Sam. Whatever he has, he thinks it'll bring Optimus back to life. So our mission is to find him and get him to Optimus. All right, we're gonna draw fire from the left flank. I need a scout team.
Ironhide: I'm leading.
Lennox: Go up through the middle with Arcee and Ironhide. Right, when you see the precious cargo, I want you to pop green smoke and come back through those pillars. We'll have the ambush set. All right. Let's go. Move out!
Simmons: You ever see that film Gunfight at the O.K. Corral?
Simmons: With Burt Lancaster and Kirk Douglas?
Leo: No, why?
Simmons: Looks like we're right in the middle of it.
Leo: Is that good?
Simmons: A lot of people died.
Devastator: [loud roaring]
Leo: Oh. Oh... oh.
Leo: Hide! Vamonos amigos! Oh my God!
Simmons: Hit the deck!
Leo: Oh, oh my God!
Mikaela: Sam, Sam.
Sam: I don't think they saw us. Get down. Get down. Okay. Listen. Once it's clear, we run for Optimus as fast as we can, okay?
Mikaela: But what if it doesn't work?
Sam: It's gonna work.
Mikaela: Yeah, but what if it doesn't?
Sam: It's gonna work. It will work.
Starscream: [electronic growl, then speaks in Cybertronian]
Long Haul: [grunts in Cybertronian]
Starscream: [speaks in Cybertronian]
Insecticon: [squeaks, then screams]
Sam and Mikaela: Aaaah!
Starscream: I see you! [roaring]
Sam: Up, up, up, up, up!
Sam: Get ready to jump!
Sam and Mikaela: [grunting]
Sam: We got a half-mile. I don't think the soldiers know we're here.
Soldier: Fall back!
Sideswipe: Fall back! Ironhide, up the middle!
Lennox: Ironhide, move it! Let's go! Go, go!
Leo: We're trapped! There's nowhere to go. We're gonna die.
Simmons: If we're going out, we're going out like men, understand?
Egyptian men: [terrified screams]
Mudflap: Ah, look at this mother-
Skids: Mean robot suck!
Leo and Simmons: [screaming]
Skids: Here I come! Get back- ah! Just hang on!
Simmons: Don't let go!
Skids: Hang in there, I got you! Just hang in.
Mudflap: Ah- Aaah! [painful grunts] I don't want to die! I don't want to die! Eh, eh. Kung fu grip, boy. Kung fu grip! You ain't getting me! At- no no no no-
Skids: He dead. He got so ate.
Leo: [gasping] Whoo! Who's your daddy now, huh?
Skids: He got all ate up. [sobbing noises]
Simmons: The only safe place is right under it. Run at it. Run for its feet!
Simmons: Move it!
Devastator: [loud roaring]
Mudflap: You should've never eaten me! I'm gonna bust yo' face up!
Leo: Oh my God!
Mudflap: Nobody mess with me! In your face!
Skids: Keep fightin', Mudflap!
Mudflap: Nobody messes with the twins. Ow!
Skids: I got you... aah!
Mudflap: Oops. My bad!
Skids: Whoa! Ow, man! You shot me in the face!
Simmons: Stay under it!
Mudflap: Yeah, stay under it!
Sam: [gasping] Come on.
Starscream: Rampage, spring the trap.
Ron: Sam! Sam, Sam!
Judy: [yelling and screaming]
Sam and Mikaela: [grunting]
Sam: Wait, wait!
Ron: Please listen to me!
Ron: I want you to run! Run!
Judy: [speaks something indistinct]
Rampage: [speaks in Cybertronian]
Sam: Dad, just stop! They don't want you, they want me- oh, God! Wait!
Rampage: Sam Witwicky. [Growl]
Sam: Don't hurt them. This is what you want. You don't want them.
Sam: Please stop!
Judy: Listen to your father!
Ron: Just get out of here!
Sam: Just don't hurt them. I know what you want.
Ron: Just go! Just go.
Sam: And I know that you need me. Because I know about the Matrix.
Ron: Don't do it, Sam, listen to me-
Sam: Please, Dad.
Ron: They're going to kill us all anyway!
Sam: Hey, hey, whoa! Here's what you want, right here. Bumblebee!
Ron, Judy, Sam: [grunting]
Rampage: [speaks in Cybertronian}
Sam: Kill him, Bee. Kill him.
Bumblebee: [electronic squeals]
Rampage: [growling and grunting, then screaming]
Bumblebee: [electronic squeal]
Bumblebee: [electronic squealing]
Sam: Stay tight, Ma. Come on. Get in here.
Bumblebee: [electronic squeals]
Sam: Wait- hey!
Ron: I don't know what's going on, but we've got to move!
Ron: There's got to be a way out of here! Come on!
Sam: Ma, get back, get back!
Ron: Judy, get back, get back, get back.
Sam: Against the wall! Against the wall! Against the wall. Against the wall. Bee! Bumblebee!
Bumblebee: [electronic bleep]
Sam: You get them somewhere safe, all right? You've got to get in the car. Get to safety.
Ron: No, no, this isn't up for discussion! You're my son!
Sam: I know!
Ron: You're my son!
Ron: We all go together!
Ron: We're all going together!
Sam: Dad, stop, okay? Get in the car. He's gonna get you to safety. You know, you run. You don't stop, you don't hide, you run. You hear what I'm saying. Okay? I'll find you when you're safe.
Sam: You've got to let me go, Dad. You have to let me go. You have to.
Judy: Ron. Ron, Ron, let him go.
Ron: You come back! Come on.
Judy: Ron! Mikaela! Mikaela!
Sam: Go with my parents.
Mikaela: I'm not gonna go without you.
Soldier: Move to cover! [indistinct yelling]
Epps: We got Jordanians!
Lennox: We got help!
Long Haul: [roaring]
Soldiers: Move, move!
Soldiers, pilots: [yelling]
Simmons: You okay, soldier? We're gonna help you, soldier. Let's get these wounded clear of the bird.
Leo: Stay still. Stay still. Don't move.
Simmons: You all right, young man? You have a radio? Hey, kid, it's been nice knowing you. Remember what I did for my country... This is my moment.
Leo: You're crazy!
Predator controller: ETA to station, two minutes.
Morshower: Put it on the main screen.
Predator controller: Sir. Yes, sir. Predator zero one.
Morshower: Oh shit, it's a trick. Commence Operation Firestorm. Send everyone. Get those Marines on the ground.
Pentagon officer: This is the Pentagon, roll in strike packages-
Pentagon officer: Task Force Ripper, execute Lightning.
Flight controller: Right trajectory. [mumbles something]
F16 Pilot: Eagle- [mumbles something] two miles-
Arcee: Spotted Sam.
Ironhide: Hey- Sam!
Arcee: Follow us to the pillars. We'll take you to Optimus.
Sam: Look out!
Ironhide: Get out, Sam! Get to the pillars!
Sam: Let's go.
Simmons: Oh God. This is it. The pyramid's built right over the machine. If they turn that machine on... no more sun. Not on my watch. Not... on my... watch.
Devastator: [lots of roaring]
Wilder: USS Stennis. Identify.
Simmons: Where the hell are you? Watching the Weather Channel? SportsCenter? I Dream of Jeannie or something? We got 300 satellites up there. Where the hell are all our men?
Wilder: Identify yourself.
Simmons: What is your name, sailor?
Wilder: Wilder, Captain of the USS John C. Stennis aircraft carrier.
Simmons: Oh-kay. Captain Wilder. This is Agent Seymour Simmons of Sector Seven. There is the mother of all non-biologicals getting ready to blow up our sun. Do you want to have a throwdown about my lack of clearance or do you want to help save- a gazillion lives?
Wilder: All right, Agent Simmons. I'm listening.
Simmons: Five clicks- west of the Gulf, we got ourselves an alien remodeling a pyramid. Our one hope is a prototype weapon called a Railgun, shoots a steel projectile at Mach 7.
Wilder: That's classified.
Simmons: Don't- talk- to me about classified, all right? Now, if you've got a battleship in the Gulf, which I know you do, you tell them to ready- that- weapon!
Wilder: Contact destroyer USS KIDD.
Soldier: Alpha Team, flank left!
Lennox: This way! Move it!
Soldier: Where do you need us, sir?
Lennox: Protect those in the line of fire.
Soldier: Let's go! Go!
Lennox: Give me your Comms. Come on. Epps!
Decepticon Protoform: Aah!
Epps: Right now, we need air support on station, ASAP!
Air Force Officers: [military chatter]
Air Force Officer: Have troops in contact
Air Force Officer: 20 miles northwest.
Air Force Officer: Radar contact. Proceed to 88 Alpha Sierra...
Air Force Officer: B-1, snap zero nine zero. You are approved to drop your two thousand pound J-DAMs.
Lennox: Go, go! What you got?
Graham: I couldn't get to them, sir. They're 600 meters away and they're heading right for the pillars.
Lennox: All right. Precious cargo's coming! Move!
Decepticon Protoform: [growling]
Decepticon Protoform: [speaks in Cybertronian] Curse you! Ah-
Megatron: [growl, says something indistinct]
Sideswipe: Sam! Spotted Sam- uhh!
Soldier: Man down!
Lennox: Come on!
Soldier: Two-two covering fire. Two civilians, twelve o'clock!
Lennox: Cover for us!
Epps: Hold the air strike! We're rescuing civilians!
Mikaela and Sam: [grunting]
Decepticon Protoform: [growl, then dying screams]
Lennox: Keep firing!
Decepticon Protoform: [electronic grunt]
Lennox: Come on! Mikaela! Come on! Get in here!
Lennox: Oh, look who showed up. You better have a good reason for us to be here.
Sam: Where's Optimus?
Lennox: He's right over there, across the courtyard.
Sam: I got to get to him right now.
Lennox: Not with an air strike coming.
Sam: I have to get to him right now.
Lennox: Go. Back, back, back, back.
Mixmaster: Listen up- [speaks in Cybertronian]
Mixmaster: [speaks in Cybertronian]
Jetfire: Incoming! Stick the landing! Whoa-ho-ho! Behold the glory of... Jetfire!
Jetfire: Now let me show you how we brought the pain in my day!
Jetfire: Ah! Ow!
Jetfire: [grunting] I'm too old for this crap.
Simmons: Keep going, man, fifteen rounds of fighting.
Devastator: [roaring and vacuuming sounds]
Simmons: I am directly below the enemy's scrotum. 25.7 meters above sea level, 29.32 north.
Destroyer Crew: Kill track, 5205-
Destroyer Crew: Target acquired.
Destroyer Crew: Killing track. Two, one. Fire!
Devastator: [roaring, then dying screams]
Simmons: Yeah! Yeah!
Air Force Officer: B-1's time on target, thirty seconds. 2,000-pound J-DAMs inbound.
Lennox: We're gonna make a break through the B's on my command, okay? You guys stick with me, you understand? You stay on my ass.
Epps: We have precious cargo-
F16 Pilot: 1-1 tally orange smoke.
Epps: I hope these F-16s got good aim.
Lennox: Yeah? Why is that?
Epps: I told them to hit the orange smoke.
Lennox: You mean that orange smoke?
Epps: It wasn't my best toss, okay?
F16 Pilot: Viper. Thunder.
Epps and Lennox: Run!
Lennox: Come on!
Decepticon Protoforms: [screaming]
Scrapper and Decepticon Protoforms: [screaming]
Megatron: Boy. Die!
Lennox: Hold your fire!
Mikaela: Ah- Sam!
Lennox: Stay back! Mikaela, stay back!
Mikaela: F*cking do something!
Ron: Sam! Sam!
Judy: Sam! Sam! Sam! Sammy! Sam!
Bumblebee: No. No. No.
Judy: Let me go!
Lennox: Come on, you got to move. You got to move! Come on.
Paramedic: We got no pulse. Starting CPR.
Ron: I have to see my kid! I got a son...
Bumblebee: [electronic squeal]
Paramedic: Ready to shock.
Paramedic: Ready to shock. One, two, three.
Lennox: Do it again!
Mikaela: Nooooo! Okay, listen to my voice. I love you and I need you. Please. Please, come back to me. Sam! Please, I love you.
Sam: Where- Where am I? Where am I? Am I dead? Am I dead?
Prime #1: We have been watching you a long, long time.
Prime #2: You have fought for Optimus, our last descendant, with courage and with sacrifice, the virtues of a leader, a leader worthy of our secret. The Matrix of Leadership is not found, it is earned.
Prime #3: Return now to Optimus. Merge the Matrix with his spark. It is, and always has been, your destiny.
Sam: I love you. I love you.
Optimus Prime: [grunting] Boy. You returned for me.
Jetfire: A living Prime. Hah hah! I don't believe it!
Soldiers, Sam, others: [screaming]
Fallen: My! Matrix!
Sam: Get up! Get up! Get up! Get up!
Optimus Prime: [grunting]
Ironhide: Get up, Prime!
Jetfire: Oh, no.
Sam: He's turning on the machine! You got to stop him! Get up! Optimus!
Megatron: Fallen, my master.
Fallen: My brothers could not stop me from this.
Fallen: Now I claim your sun.
Epps: Enemy target, top of pyramid. Engage! Engage! Engage!
Megatron: In moments, we'll be at firing strength.
Jetfire: All my Decepticon life, I never did a thing worth doing until now. Optimus, take my parts and you will have a power you've never known. Fulfill... your destiny...
Ratchet: Jolt! Electrify! Transplant those afterburners.
Optimus Prime: [grunting] Let's roll.
Epps: Fire mission on the pyramids.
F22 Pilot: Roger one.
Fallen: This planet will be dark forever.
Optimus Prime: [Roaring]
Fallen: Die, like your brothers! [Growling]
Optimus Prime: They were your brothers, too.
Optimus Prime and Fallen: [grunting]
Optimus Prime: [yelling]
Megatron: [loud yelling, 'revenge'?]
Optimus Prime: [grunting]
Megatron: Aarh- Starscream!
Optimus Prime and Fallen: [battle grunts]
Optimus Prime: You picked the wrong planet! [grunt] Give me your face.
Fallen: [squeaks, dying growl]
Optimus Prime: I rise. You fall.
Megatron: No. No.
Starscream: Not to... call you a coward, Master, but sometimes cowards do survive.
Megatron: This isn't over.
Mikaela: Took all this for you to tell me that you love me.
Sam: You said it first.
Optimus Prime: Thank you, Sam. For saving my life.
Sam: Welcome. Thank you for believing in me.
Optimus Prime: Our races united by a history long forgotten, and a future we shall face... together. I am Optimus Prime. And I send this message so that our pasts will always be remembered. For in those memories, we live on.
Professor Colan: So glad you could join us, professor Einstein.
Sam: Yeah, I was kind of busy. Okay.